Monday, August 25, 2014

"health update"

Having to take imitrex daily for the severe headaches.  Been very weak, very tired.  Bummer because if I want a decent qol I have to work part time.  However unless I took cash work, The Department of Education is going to garnish my wages regarding the student loans.

I read for over an hour today, stories on the internet horror stories about heaps of folks who are suicidal because the student loans have destroyed their lives.

If My disability check were "as high as!" 750, then the doe would b garnishing me!  Incredible how many disincentives there are to better one's situation.

The girl downstairs is chain smoking and turns out I have a lot of legal rights (as I do re her barking dog also) but thse battles will take a lot of time and most ly energy that I do not have.

Sadly, the doc will not increase my pain meds and they aren't giving me near enough to obliterate most of the pain.


I just went over to a hotel where there are 2 british men who purchased the same 1902 Toledo Town Car that was used to drive from Flagstaff Arizona to Grand Canyon in 1902 (or1903!)

Got a bunch of cool pics.  These 2 men are taking the original Toledo and then another car a 1907 (also got a bunch of pics) and leaving tomorrow in those cars for the Grand Canyon!

It's synchronistic because I had just googled about life before the auto and that same day there was tv show that re created the race that 2 men embarked on  in 1904 to see which of them could be the first to drive from Manhattan to L.A. and this was before paved roads!

America is truly in it's infancy regarding technology when you consider how long man has been on the planet.

I really enjoy history now but I hated it back in public school.

"Utne REader Sept.Oct 1994 version"

Article is entitled:

"Finding the soul of your city"

(at the time I was residing in Lafayette Indiana and wrote out the answers to the article's questionnaire)

What feels like the center of the neighborhood in West Lafayette?

-the benches right outside of Garcia's restaurant


-downtown Main and 6th street

Melbourne, Australia?

Swanston and Bourke (lots of street artists)

-What are West Lafayette boundaries?

Columbia bridge

Harrison bridge

w.l. Klondike school

and highway 52

Where can u find water in West Lafayette? Wabash River

is it still or flowing?

-unsure, sometimes flowing


the Yarra River, flowing

What and when are Lafayette's festivals?

-The taste of Tippecanoe

-The strawberry festival
-the Melbourne Cultural Arts Festival
-the Fringe Arts Festival

Looking back at the period of 7/12/2001 to 10/13/2001

Hard to believe I didn't write for more then 2 months.  Somehow I escaped bi polar Andrea and got a housesit job for 6 weeks on Radnor road in Baltimore.  They had 2 cats that I was severely allergic to.  On of the cats vomits daily.

I felt really scared because my untreated undiagnosed Lyme disease was knocking me out like a drug. I'd do 10 minutes of housework and then fall asleep.

After the housesit job I managed to find 2 large rooms for rent in a "castle" mansion in Roland Park.  The house had originally been custom built for the founder of the Maryland Institute of Art and a charm it was.

The owners had me live in the old slave quarters which I found a great deal of irony in.  The very first night the female l/l complained that I had disrupted her sleep by "flushing the toilet"  I had no money for food at all and was in one of my many periods of near starvation (but NONE of my many wealthy acquaintances and friends were aware of this)  I borrowed a pbj sandwich from my room mate and ate 2 of the l/l cookies that had been left out after they threw a party. Ellen the l/l said that "if you can steal 2 cookies god knows what else you are capable of stealing"  I had a few used washcloths in the bathroom (ellen quickly brought this to my attention even though she doesn't even reside in that part of the house)  I was unable to gather the deposit money ,so I was evicted in early November.

Friday, August 22, 2014


John Mayer - Daughters


The Song That Changed My Life - In a Big Country

Crohn's & Colitis: Why We're Taking Steps

I may very well have one if not both of these

Inside Patricia Lee's 50th Birthday Bash - Oprah: Where Are They Now? - ...

Patricia was put up for adoption 2 months after me.  What a wonderful ending!

Experience the New Buick | D'ELLA Buick GMC Cadillac

my father drove buicks, I drove buicks and if it weren't for the logo (I know how to read car logos) you'd never know it was a buick.  classy!

Police Women of Maricopa County, Kelly Bocardo

love this show.  on top of being highly competent these women could even model if they wanted to.  amazing show.

teacher getting bullied at digital harbor high school in Baltimore Maryland

this is a big reason y it's extremely unlikely I will even visit Baltimore in my lifetime again.

Extreme Parenting: Pageant Moms & Football Dads - Our America with Lisa ...

Jeff Dunham and Walter discuss housing in Africa

Concierge Collection Super Loft Mattress Pad

this channel always makes me feel that I "can't live without it!"

I'm Very Lucky That Nothing Happened to Me | Last Seen Alive

I "meet" more folks I have a lot in common with by watching true crime then I do any other way.

Petals on the Wind: Cathy Wants to Leave but Christopher Can't Let Her Go


This isn't a bar, it's a sock hop!  John Taffer

Kelsey Grammer's Link to the Oregon Trail | Who Do You Think You Are?

funny how I feel like I have a bit in common with many of these celebrities who do their searches and on a few cases they ended up in Baltimore.  This show is so inspiring to do your own search.

Husband Hides Homicidal Past | Handsome Devils

TV Commercial - Serta - iComfort - Quit Job - Ping Pong Trainer - I'm Co...

Pain and Gain: REAL Sun Gym Gang -- 48 Hours Muscle & Mayhem 1/3:, with ...

"I probably broke the world record"

Most times stood up.  Tonight I went to 2 events that were both supposed to start at 6:30 .  The first one the reason why nobody was there was because it was actually supposed to start at 6:30 in the a.m.  The second one was in an apt. complex guest room but the group were no show. 

So there  are 4 folks playing pool who invite me to join them.  Love pool and pretty good at it.

Other things I did this week were attend the gubernatorial debate, attend a support group that really wasn
t so supportive, and a tech talk that helps folks keep up with changing technologies.  Watch a lot of tv so I need to make sure I am still stimulating that brain!

Off the top of my head I can't recall what else I did but I average 4 things per week that were advertised in the paper.

I don't think the pleurisy ever completely went away, so , I need to get my labs done to find out the cause.

The reason I'm not home right now is because the cigarette smoke from the neighbor is very bad in my bedroom, still plan to fight that.

I think the most annoying health issue is the tailbone injury which is excruciating despite the pain meds.......................................

I hate carpeting but I am having it shampooed and I cannot wait.  I like living in a very clean place.

In small ways my quality of life has improved in the last 6 weeks but I'd say life is still grueling in many regards.

August has been freaky cold which I hate.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

On The Case With Paula Zahn Clip 'For Love and Duty' Premieres Sunday, A...

Staples Shopping Cart Dance Commercial - 2014

FIDC Staples Shopping Cart Dance

one of my favorite current commercials

The Extreme Effects of Mossy Foot - Operation Change - OWN

How wonderful to see these folks lives transformed in some cases for the first time in decades or even their whole lives


"You can give up or you can give it all you got"  unknown survivor on investigation discovery channel

Precious Movie Trailer

Only understood about 15% of what she said due to the ebonics.  But much of this movie paralleled my own life in Baltimore, especially my life between 2005 and 2009.  Lots of traumatic memoires.  I never chose to steal but between 94 and 2013 it was not the lease bit uncommon for me to go without food for 3 or 4 days and to go to bed hungry.  Remember the show her mom put on for the cps worker.  Reminded my of my mother Helen and what an act she put on in public.  Helen only hit me a couple of times so the abuse was verbal, emotional and neglect but not really physical.  I never went to bed hungry before 1994.

"Been trying lots of new things"

The other day I met some reps of the secular coalition of Washington.  They were at the local library teaching about conservative as well as progressive bills.  Fun and educational.  The event was co-sponsored by the freethinkers.

"random pic"

A year ago there was a window washer working in a particular restaurant.  An worker pulled down the blinds and all u could see was his silhouette!

I showed him the pic and he told me today that he will use the pic for his business card and will credit my name on the card.

This will be my first published pic so I'm pretty excited.  ;)

Robin Williams' Final Hours

I'd b lying if I said I was a devout fan, because for most of my adult life I have not had t.v. and this is the first time in my life with cable.  I have had cable for a year, and synchronistically you can find various r.w. movies playing at the same time on diff. channel.  so ive seen doubtfire 2x in the last year, and I loved r.v.  watched mork and mindy as a kid and for years I greetied folks with na new na new.  when I first heard the news it felt like someone punched me in the gut.  But I told u that I made 6 suicide attempts in 3 years so if that's what he needed to do to get out of pain then good for him.  probably hwever since he did have a loving family if there were adequate meds for the bi polar he may not have felt a need to do this.  it surproses me that folks do this in their homes when they know that their loved ones will have the trauma of finding their bodies.  well, it's not about living long it's about making a difference while you're here and he sure did that!

"nowhere to run/my poor lungs"

I'm real mad and very worried.  I do not think I ever made a full recovery from the pleurisy.  My lungs and throat are blown up like a balloon.  as much as I would like to work out of home I can't due to the 2 things I mentioned earlier.  large barking dog and chain smoker downstairs.

I've been fighting the ciggie issue for most of my life and the dog issue for much of the last 20.

So, the activist in me will not take this sitting down.  I have the phone # for the lung association, and I have carefully reviewed my 2 leases.  One lease was drawn up by the complex and the other was drawn up by the Mormon agency* (change of name there but you get the idea)

In the complex's lease you are allowed to burn whatever the hell you want to, unfortunately, but in the Mormon agency* lease I found a clause that states that "you are entitled to a smoke free home"

That being said I will first explore this with the m.a.  If they do nothing, I will go to the free lawyer, lease in hand, and bring proof of all of these illnesses that are caused by breathing 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.

The dog thing?  I will keep you informed about that in another post.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Vanished: Jodi Huisentruit

we have some stuff in common.  i'm lucky I got out of Baltimore before getting murdered.  she was born 5 years after me.  she disappeared the day and year I moved back to Baltimore thus sealing the deal that I would essentially lose the next 20 years of my life.  This proves even when you take all the proper precautions we simply live in a violent society and there are many many things we have no control over.  if you can take and complete a self defense class then definitely do it. 

"Greatest fear"

So my greatest fear was that a loud barking dog would move in downstairs and she or he would chain smoke.  Those fears came to pass 2 weeks ago.  Told landlord (the l/l who gives me a %66 rent subsidy)that I am interested in transferring.

Asked her to try to get me away from dogs.  She said, well you have to move anyway because we lost funding, we will transfer you but we can't get you a date (less then 8 weeks!) and we can't get you away from dogs.

I do not really want to move but on the other hand my life since 87 has been extremely transient.

"With that double vision"

I was very worried about my vision.  a curtain effect lots of floaters, terrible night vision.  I've been wearing the wrong glasses for 8 years because my insurance doesn't cover glasses.

Shwew.  Went yesterday for an exam, and even though I am extreme nearsighted, I was issued a clean bill of health. perhaps the fibromyalgia, lyme, or meds are messing with my vision.

"Wipe that grin off of your face"

I can't remember, I think I read this on the internet, this guy was talking about how he had moved from manhattan to mountain town and that every one smiles and he hates it it really annoying!

It's funny.  On the one hand for the most part I appreciate living in such a friendly place, but on the other hand I think a lot of the smiling it's just way too much and it seems fake and phony.

Today, the 2 receptionist were smiling from ear to ear like they always do.  They asked me how I am.  I said "well, that depends are you going to let me go to the class or are you going to turn me away?"

There is a free class that the date keeps getting changed and the teacher wants me to call her every few days which I refuse to do, so she can give me blow by blow on y the date keeps getting changed.

So, it would have been weekly for 10 weeks,  but screw them, they turned me away today and never called me to tell me it was changed again, I will not go back, they don't deserve for anybody to show up to their stupid ass class.

These experiences are the norm, not the exception.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

The Blind Side - The Real Story (Inspirational)

ironically I've watched the movie 2x and I have tons in common with oher!



"Stories like mine don't have happy endings." by Nathan Gann (killed his father)

"Was beginning to feel really at home"

I recently decorated my place to where my place  feels more like "me. "  But 4 out of the 6 people in my building own dogs and a big dog just moved in downstairs.  I really want to live in a dog less community but my research of dog-less communities in Mountain Town have born no fruit.

If I have to leave my community I will, but only after I get another subsidized apartment.  Unfortunately I suspect there are no subsidized apts. in communities that are dogless.

pet ownership has tripled since I graduated from high school in 1981.  (And owning a home looks like an impossiblility in this lifetime)

"navaho festival at the museum"

Caught the last 70 minutes of the Navaho fest. today.  It's been quite a while since I've done anything joyful.  The combination of the architecture of the museum, the seemless way that it connects  to the forest and the incredible beauty of Navaho art, well I plan to go back tomorrow so I can watch the music and dances.

There was a festival in Pennsylvania whose land gave me that instant peace as soon as I entered it, but the town in Pa. well I'm drawing a blank, but it's near Hampstead, MD and it happens every October.

I know it's really rare that I have anything joyful to share with you, but I promised I would as soon as I possibly could.