You can probably imagine what it is doing to my psyche to realize that everytime I leave my apt. on a weekday before 6 p.m. I will probably be burglarized. And even though I have most valuables out of the apt., it is still traumatizing to be robbed no matter what they steal. They've taken all but one fork, one knife, and one spoon. I had to buy another cooking spoon to replace the one they stole, and now they have stolen that too. So creepy.
My friend Diane has encouraged me to buy one of the braces that you can use to secure your door when you are in your home. I hope to order that within the next few days. At least that alleviates some of my fear.
In the meantime, I run housing ads daily and conducted two interviews last week.
Watching Ellen and Oprah are pretty much my only breaks from reality. Went to a Jewish singles event mainly to see Arlene. That was about 2 or 3 weeks ago, and it felt so foreign to laugh and feel so free. We played a board game called "taboo" which was really fun with the exception of one very drunk guy's presence!
Today was payday so I have a little more energy than usual....................
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
"Just got published!"
And I'm thrilled. My circumstances aren't much better than what you'll read about in my article, but I'm elated to get the word out about poverty and homelessness. I hope to banish myths about the poor and/or homeless by sharing my story. Here goes.
URBANITE MAGAZINE
OCTOBER 2007
"ALL IN A DAY'S WORK"
My JOB is to get out of poverty. The list below illustrates a typical workday for me when I was homeless and didn't have a penny to my name.
1. FIND SHORT TERM AND LONG-TERM SHELTER/HOUSING
Hitchike or walk to businesses with bulletin boards. Post flyers: "Woman needs housing immediately, has references." Find public or university library. Log onto Craigslist and intentional communities website. Read housing ads for Maryland and beyond: perhaps I can barter in exchange for shelter. Post and read classified ads on intentional communities website. Find cafe or restaurant to search for a secondhand newspaper for classified ads. Whole Foods has a free phone for customers; however it is not adequate for making a series of calls.
2. FIND FOOD
Hitchike to welfare office to apply for food stamps. They ask me to come back tomorrow. But I'm hungry today! Hitchike or walk to Towson Town Center. Hit the mall for free coffee. Ironically in the self-serve cafe (for free coffee) the clerk eyes me suspiciously. Still hungry, I go to each food stand in the food court and ask for a sample from the vendors who seem willing. It's not enough food. If I have the strength, I can hitchike over to Whole Foods and get some more free samples.
3. FIND A JOB
I brainstorm about public places that have a free phone. Oh yes, the bank. I walk the two miles to the bank, sit down at the phone with newspaper in hand, and begin making calls. I immediately become very discouraged. Many ads say "must have car," "must have reliable transportation," or "no bus serves this area." I call the first one I circled but get voicemail. I'm only at the free phone for about four minutes when the bank manager comes over and says, "I'm sorry, but this phone is only to be used for business. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Physically, psychologically, and emotionally exhausted, I return to my friend Marnie's. She can put me up for one week. Tomorrow, I go back to work:
1. Find shelter.
2. Find food.
3. Find a job.
4. Maintain glimmer of hope.
5. Don't postpone joy.
Elana Snyder currently resides in public housing in Baltimore City. She is working on her first book, a memoir titled: ONLY THE DESTITUTE WALK.
URBANITE MAGAZINE
OCTOBER 2007
"ALL IN A DAY'S WORK"
My JOB is to get out of poverty. The list below illustrates a typical workday for me when I was homeless and didn't have a penny to my name.
1. FIND SHORT TERM AND LONG-TERM SHELTER/HOUSING
Hitchike or walk to businesses with bulletin boards. Post flyers: "Woman needs housing immediately, has references." Find public or university library. Log onto Craigslist and intentional communities website. Read housing ads for Maryland and beyond: perhaps I can barter in exchange for shelter. Post and read classified ads on intentional communities website. Find cafe or restaurant to search for a secondhand newspaper for classified ads. Whole Foods has a free phone for customers; however it is not adequate for making a series of calls.
2. FIND FOOD
Hitchike to welfare office to apply for food stamps. They ask me to come back tomorrow. But I'm hungry today! Hitchike or walk to Towson Town Center. Hit the mall for free coffee. Ironically in the self-serve cafe (for free coffee) the clerk eyes me suspiciously. Still hungry, I go to each food stand in the food court and ask for a sample from the vendors who seem willing. It's not enough food. If I have the strength, I can hitchike over to Whole Foods and get some more free samples.
3. FIND A JOB
I brainstorm about public places that have a free phone. Oh yes, the bank. I walk the two miles to the bank, sit down at the phone with newspaper in hand, and begin making calls. I immediately become very discouraged. Many ads say "must have car," "must have reliable transportation," or "no bus serves this area." I call the first one I circled but get voicemail. I'm only at the free phone for about four minutes when the bank manager comes over and says, "I'm sorry, but this phone is only to be used for business. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Physically, psychologically, and emotionally exhausted, I return to my friend Marnie's. She can put me up for one week. Tomorrow, I go back to work:
1. Find shelter.
2. Find food.
3. Find a job.
4. Maintain glimmer of hope.
5. Don't postpone joy.
Elana Snyder currently resides in public housing in Baltimore City. She is working on her first book, a memoir titled: ONLY THE DESTITUTE WALK.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
"Habitat for Humanity"
I applied for an "Habitat for Humanity". house when I was in Indiana.
I didn't qualify, because my income was TOO LOW!. In March I made a similar inquiry in Baltimore.
. Leader said that the orientation (for interested prospective tenants) is in Sept. and that I would get an invite in the mail. By 9/7, I still hadn't received the formal invite, so I called h for h to find out when and where the orientation would be.
When she told me the location I was very worried. Very dangerous section of the city, would take 3 buses to get there and I have no $ for a taxi. So I called h for h to see if they could arrange a ride for me. The first woman I spoke to said no , so I asked to speak to her co-worker.
She said "No one can give you a ride, it wouldn't be safe for us to help you because we dont know you!"
I replied, "Well it's too dangerous of a neighborhood for me to be on buses." She said: "But this is the neighborhood where the h for h houses will be built, on Chester street!."
I thought, this is so complicated and stressful and I know I don't want to buy in the city, so I won't go. On the 11 news that night, I heard the following: "Chester Street fire claims lives!"
I didn't qualify, because my income was TOO LOW!. In March I made a similar inquiry in Baltimore.
. Leader said that the orientation (for interested prospective tenants) is in Sept. and that I would get an invite in the mail. By 9/7, I still hadn't received the formal invite, so I called h for h to find out when and where the orientation would be.
When she told me the location I was very worried. Very dangerous section of the city, would take 3 buses to get there and I have no $ for a taxi. So I called h for h to see if they could arrange a ride for me. The first woman I spoke to said no , so I asked to speak to her co-worker.
She said "No one can give you a ride, it wouldn't be safe for us to help you because we dont know you!"
I replied, "Well it's too dangerous of a neighborhood for me to be on buses." She said: "But this is the neighborhood where the h for h houses will be built, on Chester street!."
I thought, this is so complicated and stressful and I know I don't want to buy in the city, so I won't go. On the 11 news that night, I heard the following: "Chester Street fire claims lives!"
"Practice Peace"
Anyone can practice peace no matter where they live. One very small way I practice peace is that I thank my bus drivers when I disembark. Few riders thank the drivers. Even if the driver was hateful to me, or otherwise abusive, it is the rare, rare driver who can resist being thanked by a passenger. I also feel that this is a tiny way to break down the racial barriers in this city. I get very very little joy out of life, but , I'm doing my damndest to live an ethical life and make a small difference in the lives of the people around me.
"My prison cell"
THE POVERTY TRAP
When I was applying for social security disability, an 8 year wait, I was told that I am not permitted to earn monies while waiting for the disability decision! I completed my first disability application in 94 but didn't win until 02.
The "prohibition" to earn monies; implies that applicants are supposed to live on the street, or have a rich relative care for them. (I know many people who are being cared for by their families financially) For part of the time I was applying for disability I was collecting unemployment. The unemployment people have a rule that "you must make 2 job contacts a week to keep collecting unemployment" The unemployment rule is "you must look for work" and the SSA rule is "you are forbidden from seeking employment."
The only people I knew who were winning their disability cases were winning because their parents were paying for their apartments and totally supporting them. So the people who need disability monies the least, get it the fastest! Maddening!
I've been very despondent as a result. I awaken each morning with dread and fear. I'm in work mode nearly 24/7.
I still have some city fines to pay as well. One was the "car abandonment" fee, (due to my 03 inability to pay for the car repair) and one is a 32 dollar parking ticket that has accrued to 800 dollars! This is really unfair , yet there is no point in fighting because I'll never win.
I could move out of state to escape the fines. BUT if I move out of state, and drop my apt. I''m at very high risk of yet another episode of homelessness.
Staying at my apt. could get me killed. If I install a deadbolt lock, management will break it, then send me a lease infraction.
If I put all of my belongings in storage, keep paying the rent on my current subsidized apt. and go to a safe house, I'll be accused of welfare fraud, as you aren't allowed to have a second address!
If I stay where I live, my belongings will continue to disappear and my life will still be at risk.
In 95, my one bedroom apt. in Hampden cost 400 dollars, that same apt. now costs 850, and wages are stagnant. Poor people are imprisoned, and no matter how intelligent they might be they face nearly impossible odds.
I know this piece may be a tad bit redundant, but so is poverty.
When I was applying for social security disability, an 8 year wait, I was told that I am not permitted to earn monies while waiting for the disability decision! I completed my first disability application in 94 but didn't win until 02.
The "prohibition" to earn monies; implies that applicants are supposed to live on the street, or have a rich relative care for them. (I know many people who are being cared for by their families financially) For part of the time I was applying for disability I was collecting unemployment. The unemployment people have a rule that "you must make 2 job contacts a week to keep collecting unemployment" The unemployment rule is "you must look for work" and the SSA rule is "you are forbidden from seeking employment."
The only people I knew who were winning their disability cases were winning because their parents were paying for their apartments and totally supporting them. So the people who need disability monies the least, get it the fastest! Maddening!
I've been very despondent as a result. I awaken each morning with dread and fear. I'm in work mode nearly 24/7.
I still have some city fines to pay as well. One was the "car abandonment" fee, (due to my 03 inability to pay for the car repair) and one is a 32 dollar parking ticket that has accrued to 800 dollars! This is really unfair , yet there is no point in fighting because I'll never win.
I could move out of state to escape the fines. BUT if I move out of state, and drop my apt. I''m at very high risk of yet another episode of homelessness.
Staying at my apt. could get me killed. If I install a deadbolt lock, management will break it, then send me a lease infraction.
If I put all of my belongings in storage, keep paying the rent on my current subsidized apt. and go to a safe house, I'll be accused of welfare fraud, as you aren't allowed to have a second address!
If I stay where I live, my belongings will continue to disappear and my life will still be at risk.
In 95, my one bedroom apt. in Hampden cost 400 dollars, that same apt. now costs 850, and wages are stagnant. Poor people are imprisoned, and no matter how intelligent they might be they face nearly impossible odds.
I know this piece may be a tad bit redundant, but so is poverty.
More than an acquaintance, less than a friend!
Yes, I need a new category. There are many people in my life who, when they bump into me in town, they embrace me with a hug, or in today's case, ask for a kiss on the cheek! These aren't people who I can call on if I need someone to talk to , or need a favor. They aren't even people who I do activities with, they are people who love me from a distance...... more than an acquaintance less than a friend.................
Sunday, September 23, 2007
"My 'hood"
A week and a half ago I was on my evening walk. I was right across the street from my apt. when I saw a well dressed African American man about my age picking up trash. I told him: "I used to do that when I lived in Hampden."
Brad* " Baltimoreans have no respect for their environment and litter openly"
E-. "Are you a homeowner?"
. He pointed to the home he owns.
E- "when I moved into the 'hood, I asked other Cedarcroft residents what the deal is with crime. That was 28 months ago. Here's what I was told: "The only crimes in Cedarcroft are opportunity crimes where folks leave valuables on their car seats."
I asked Brad if that neighbor was telling the truth. He laughed sarcastically and went on to say: "I was broken into in the middle of February. I came home from work to discover that my door had been completely REMOVED! and there was snow on the ground!"
E-"How did the police handle it?"
B-"Oh don't get me started. I had to call the cops 8x before they came out. Meantime I was stuck outside in the snow for hours. The cops said that it took them a long time because they were on a shift change! I was furious!"
I told Brad that after dark in Cedarcroft I can't see my feet below me, everyone is too cheap to keep their porch lights on. That sure doesn't make me feel safe!
B-The break ins happen during the day!
E-Do you feel scared in Baltimore?
B-"No, because I'm from the Bronx. My siblings and I were not even allowed to play outside without an adult!
E-Wow. How many home break ins have their been in the last year on your block?
B-"Ten, on my street alone"
E-What's the answer?
B-I had to spend alot of money for new windows and move my nephew in for added security!
I told Brad of my predicament and gave him my email and website address. A 43 year educated African American male who is afraid to live alone. If that doesn't illustrate how sick Baltimore is, I don't know what does!
Brad* " Baltimoreans have no respect for their environment and litter openly"
E-. "Are you a homeowner?"
. He pointed to the home he owns.
E- "when I moved into the 'hood, I asked other Cedarcroft residents what the deal is with crime. That was 28 months ago. Here's what I was told: "The only crimes in Cedarcroft are opportunity crimes where folks leave valuables on their car seats."
I asked Brad if that neighbor was telling the truth. He laughed sarcastically and went on to say: "I was broken into in the middle of February. I came home from work to discover that my door had been completely REMOVED! and there was snow on the ground!"
E-"How did the police handle it?"
B-"Oh don't get me started. I had to call the cops 8x before they came out. Meantime I was stuck outside in the snow for hours. The cops said that it took them a long time because they were on a shift change! I was furious!"
I told Brad that after dark in Cedarcroft I can't see my feet below me, everyone is too cheap to keep their porch lights on. That sure doesn't make me feel safe!
B-The break ins happen during the day!
E-Do you feel scared in Baltimore?
B-"No, because I'm from the Bronx. My siblings and I were not even allowed to play outside without an adult!
E-Wow. How many home break ins have their been in the last year on your block?
B-"Ten, on my street alone"
E-What's the answer?
B-I had to spend alot of money for new windows and move my nephew in for added security!
I told Brad of my predicament and gave him my email and website address. A 43 year educated African American male who is afraid to live alone. If that doesn't illustrate how sick Baltimore is, I don't know what does!
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