that bad huh?

a woman was in front of me in the grocery store line just now she had a boy of 11 and a boy of about eight. She flipped the magazine backwards so that her boyscannot see the front cover. I knew immediately why she did this and I asked her:" that bad huh?"

She said "my child doesn't need to see soft porn!"  At this point I have not seen what is on the front cover of this magazine which is basically like a Readers Digest.

Without having seen the front cover of whatever it was that she was censoring I said to her:" but we would have to be with our children 24 hours a day and we can't do that therefore we cannot protect them from everything."

She was silent in return. I turned the magazine around to find out what was so offensive, it was a woman in a bikini the top half of her bikini revealed a lot of bust...

Even I don't like seeing women who wear shirts that reveal their breasts, but a bikini top and two different story.

You gotta wonder what else this mom is doing to protect her boys from "everything!"

Wells Fargo really sucks

I do everything I can to avoid in-person interactions with them. they make everything a huge ordeal when you go there.

The last time I went ,, they stated that they would do a credit check for me, but first, the teller "hijacked" me into a 1/2 hour of small talk! Shouldn't he complete the request that I had, and then if there's time left over we can small talk?!

What's worse is, that when he was done "kibbitzing" he said: "Oh my computer's not working and I can't view your credit report! I don't know what's wrong I don't know why nothings working...

Today I needed to go in to purchase one check. The teller must have repeated himself 3 or even 4 times. "Why didn't u just do this online oh ur life would be so much more easy and convenient if udid this online!

I think I replied: don't you want me here?!  (I was pissed)

Even after I told him I didn't have a computer at home he still repeated himself as if he was a robot that I should just do it online.

Wells Fargo sucks. thecredit and Loan place in town has a real good reputation but they have very very few ATMs so that is my only concern about switching to them. Actually maybe there is another concern, if I ever moved away I may have difficulty finding a mainstream Bank after having used a small local bank for my business. In case you were wondering yes, I have had a checking account for all but a few months, since before turning 18.

I had difficulty finding a new Banker when I got on disability in 2002 March however.

it's been one hell of an anniversary weekend

yes terday was my four year anniversary in mountain town and it's been a hell of a celebration. On Thursday night I got mildly food poisoned. I've been awake for about a week. I found out that you can have free counseling through the local college but I have tremendous Ambivalenceabout any sort of therapy or counseling because of my views on suicide.

I was telling my counselor on Friday that my body is my prison and that the joint and bone and muscle pain and weakness is absolutely unbearable. I made the mistake of trusting I made the mistake of letting my guard down

We had had three conversations about suicide in the past so I thought that I was safe I thought that it is safe to be myself. She knows how I feel about the fact that US society doesn't want animals to suffer but they don't give a god damn about human suffering.

I told her that I was planning on joining final exit network and that people who try to do their own suicides by overdose is oftentimes a mistake because they end up failing in their lives are the worst for it.

 in the midst of my diarrhea and nausia I hear bashing on my door on Friday night. the three cOpskept bashing and bashing and I didn't answer the door. Then I heard this is the police!

I came to the door and I said but I didn't call the police and the officer said we hear that you're planning on committing suicide by gAssing yourself.readers it's like a game of telephone I never said any such thing and I couldn't even imagine who would have called the police on me. They stayed for 30 minutes as I tried to convince them that I wasn't going to take my life todayand that some mistake had been made. the officers tried to get me to discuss what I told my therapist, I ask the cup and my legally required to tell you what I discussed with her? He said no your not I said okay well then I'm not going to say anything

If police think that you're going to take your life on that given day in some cases they force you into psychiatric hospitals which is the most ridiculous place on earth for people who are pro- euthanasia or people who have decided that they cannot go on indefinitely with the suffering of their disease.

I was absolutely furious that the counseling department did this to me and I told them so in a letter which I carefully worded. I told them to stay away from me and not make any more contact with me, I told my Facebook friends that going into therapy or any sort of counseling is a huge risk for anyone who carries a Pro euthanasia Pro assisted suicide stance.

SynchronisticAlly I am watching Law and Order SVU it's the episode entitled mercy where the mother murders the daughter so the daughter doesn't have to go through a life of suffering with a rare and painful disease

One by one I leave every agency in town one by one I leave every practitioner in town one by one I discover that there is gross and competence at every level in every segment of society this is something I've been blogging about since I started my blog 9 years ago and the problem is only getting worse

I just called to say I love you

I can't remember who I told this to but I was telling someone that if I died and every single person in mountain town saw the obituary I am pretty convinced there would be a lot of people at my funeral.

It might seem strange to say that because as far as actual people to hang out with there aren't very many.

I've been blogging about this for many years, it's very strange to feel like all you have are acquaintances but to know that there actually are a number of lives that I've touched here

A man came up to me in the grocery store today and hugged me about 3 years ago he told me that he loves me. He did not mean it in a romantic way he is married with 4 children.

When I left the grocery store and starting on my way home I saw another couple who I've known for almost 4 years, he also told me a couple of years ago that he loves me.

I'm posting this, because I thinkwe never truly realize the magnitude of the number of people we touch in our lifetime

trying to practice gratitude

today I had to go to Catholic Charities to sign my new lease. For all of the challenges of apartment living in some strange way I consider myself to be very lucky.

I thanked my caseworker and told her that if it were not for Catholic Charities I would still be living in a homeless shelter.

These social workers have such a thankless job and she really lit up when I told her how grateful I was for being in the permanent housing program :-)

Little Women of LA

this is the best episode I've ever seen. The girls did a background check on Brianna fiance I think this is wonderful she says she doesn't know what she wants and I believe in her heart of hearts she knows that this is probably not a good idea to proceed given the fact that her family and her friends all oBjectand he does have a criminal history/domestic violence

In my first 18 months and mountain town all five men that showed any interest in me all had criminal background histories. I have never been in a situation that extreme in my whole life where all the men that I Meet have these criminal background histories. I've never had the money to do the full blown background check but I get enough information to keep myself safe. But the best protection is trusting your instinct

The other reason why this is one of my favorite episodes is because Christie handled the morbid obesity discussion with her husband in a very good way. He claims that she's nagging but dear lord he's four foot 6inches and 283 pounds she has every right to make sure that he does something about this

Please bear with me regarding the grammatical errors I am speaking into a recorder in the smartphone is imperfect

what TV family would you be born in to

t

his is this question is for anybody who wants to answer it but it is especially for people who were born in the families that they regret that they were born into

Here are the top families I would love to be born into and then after I list them I will explain why I picked these

#1 I would be born into the Ingalls family I would be Laura Ingalls. Now that's excluding the fact that she at some point also got afflicted with blindness it wasn't just your sister Mary. I picked this family because of all of the love and support that the parents gave, and the fact that there were no car so it was quiet and peaceful and they got to eat dinner together every nighT

#2 I would be born into the Walton family I would be one of the kids either the littlest girl or one of two teen girls. Why do I say that because of the loving parents and because of how wonderful it would be to have siblings and share dinner together every night and lots of fun , actual l childhood .who cares about the poverty, you're actually very well see if you're born into a big loving family

#3 I would be born into the Brady family any of the girls. Because they have so much fun together and their parents love them so much and They eat dinner together every night .

# 4 the Kardashian family. Because I would love to have the experience of never having to worry about money and because of all of the love that they have in that family and all the fun they have together, it's not their appearance that I envy or feel jealous of it's just a fact that they will never ever have to worry about money , can live in whatever neighborhood they want whatever beautiful home they want and have the means to travel wherever they want and eat amazing healthy tasty meals and never go hungry