"Memorial Service for the Homeless"

Baltimore County Coalition for the Homeless held a memorial last night in Towson. There was a service with different speakers with 2 of the speakers reading the names of each Baltimorean who died on the streets in 2009. Two of them were named "Unknown."

The most surprising part of the night was hearing a speaker who has a Masters from Johns Hopkins and is homeless and staying in the shelter in Baltimore County. He's been homeless for 16 months.

Then there was a vigil where we were given plastic votives and walked to the newly constructed memorial in Towson again for those who died homeless on the streets of Baltimore.

The other highlight of the evening was that a boy scout of 14 is the one who built the memorial. He did a little speech and said that he was required to build the memorial as a Boy Scout project. He didn't intially care about the issue of homelessness but as he learned more he became very interested in it.

I don't know exactly how to end this piece other then to say that, I told one of the attendees that most homelessness is hidden. People doubling up with family or friends because they can't afford rental costs.

www.bcch.org

They figured out that a minimum wage worker would need to work 145 hours a week to afford a 2 bedroom apt. in Baltimore county!

"What a Life"

You'd be blown away at the # of things that go wrong. But this particular story's final question is, yet again, "Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty"

On Thursday, I had decided to attend a live taping of an NPR show on the subject of homelessness. I worry about everything there is to worry about. Again I visualize and wonder; is it better to break down in the burbs, the city, or the beltway. Not only did I forget my trac phone but it has no minutes on it anyway.

I'm nervous because I have to go down to Old Frederick Road and I usually DO get lost in that region. I have my directions printed out from Map Quest. They are wrong. So I drive around an extra 30 minutes and keep asking people out on the street. Finally there is a woman who knows not only where the church is but that Old Frederick Road is all chopped up. She tells me how to get there.

I arrive 1/2 hour early at 11:30 a.m. Every parking space says "reserved for so and so" I don't see any other lot. But I drive around figuring there must be another lot somewhere. There is a winding hill that leads down to a lower level. But there is only one car. That must be for the host of the radio show, I figure. I wait to see if anyone else will show up.

3 more show up, 2 are on the panel. We walk up to the church which is kind of like a castle. There are multiple staircases and multiple doors. I thank goodness I'm not in this mess alone. We try some 6 doors. We finally find one that opens. I say, this makes no sense, how could handicapped people access this with no ramps? I find an auditorium and say: "this must be it" I go in to the bathroom. When I come out the 3 people say, "we were just told by the custodian that this isn't even the right building. It's not in the church at all! It's in the mansion.

Another long walk.

Interesting event but I was hoping to get an opportunity to tell my own story on homelessness.  The best part of the radio show for me was the following moment. A woman walked up to the mic. (there were many homeless in the audience, and ex homeless) and she said this to the panelists:

"I have to be out of my place by January 13th. Which of you panelists is gonna let me come and live with you?!"

"I will" an African American woman on the panel said. "I am not kidding. You come and stay with me!"

I was really touched by it.

We had a hard time figuring out a way to walk to our cars on the way back as it was a very intimidating labyrinth, again with a lot of stairs.

I decided to look at one of my childhood homes. The one I lived in from 69 to 75  My old place. To see what it looks like. My parents lost that house in '75. (Wonder how diff. my life would be if I had inherited that house?)

Drove up Reisterstown Road and to the Giant. When I was in the Giant I saw this guy I had 2 dates with in February. He asked: "How's the car running?"

"It ran today" I replied.

He was in front of me in line, and I'm sure just pulled off as I was trying to start my car. There is a horrible noise. Something is horribly wrong. I went into giant and used the service phone to call for roadside. I'm freakin' out. I realize that the trip is 14 miles, and my break down coverage only allows for a breakdown to occur within 15 miles of your home!

An hour later the tow driver who looks at the car says that I popped a spark plug. Takes my car to the mechanic takes me home. I do not have the $ for car repairs.

Next morning I call the girl over at the welfare office and ask the voice mail if there is any money in the coffers for a car repair. She said, "I was just on my way out the door but I'll check" She found money for the repair, faxed a promissory note over to the mechanic and I got the car back at 5 p.m. the next day; just in enough time to get snowed in with 18 inches of snow.

Again, I ask myself; "Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full?"

"Hey, that's my favorite song!"

Here's what I checked out on you tube today

Brandy by Looking Glass
I Just Want to Stop by Gino Vanelli
Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
Reminiscing by the Little River Band
Alone again Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan
Ain't no Sunshine by Bill Withers
Use Me also by Bill Withers
Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia
Baby come Back by Player
"At Seventeen" by Janis Ian
Poetry Man by Phoebe Snow

"The good news and the bad news"

The bad news is that I'm in my 5th day of a headache. In the 4th and 5th days my headache grew much worse and is accompanied with nausea and eye pain and visual disturbances. I can barely function. I don't know what's causing the headaches and I haven't found any meds that make a difference. I had to leave the house to buy some stuff and my library materials were due today.

The good news is that "Compu Kids" donated a computer to me. It's not set up yet because I don't have a desk. I'd love to have internet but I don't know if I'll be able to afford that right away. But at least I can work on my book from home.

"Bumper Stickers"

Saw 2 great bumper stickers today.

"What would Scooby Doo?"

and

"Road Rage Princess!"

"Which is the worst torture?!"

I got my teeth cleaned today for the first time in 6 years. It was horrendous. Well first off the hygienist kept asking me the same question over and over again. I thought, how many languages do you need this answer in?

But what I mean by torture is, The office is playing non stop Christmas Carols.  But on top of that you've got that horrible machine that blows air in your mouth, and the cleaning machine that makes a high pitched squeal. It hurt my ears and I thought boy I should have brought earplugs.

I asked the hygienist a question about the anesthetic. She said "What do you mean anesthetic?"

  "Do you usually use it?  Well, the doc. told me last time you would use I anesthetic  since I"m so sensitive, and my gums are so diseased."

She went and got him and indeed he did say that. I figured he probably also did not communicate with her that they are only to clean 1/2 of my mouth today. I was thinking about the multi sensory torture and how I just wanted to get it over with. How about when they ask you questions while they have the tools in your mouth. I hardly ever could hear a word she said because she was drown out by Christmas Carols.

It was a very painful process but I'm so glad I got it over with. And I really don't know which of the multi sensory tortures were worse. She slipped and poked the needle into my lip and didn't even apologize!

But I am really grateful to finally have been able to take a step toward keeping these pretty teeth.  Carroll County Social Services is paying for this dental work today; a program that does not exist in Baltimore.

"Street Smarts for Women"

I was speaking with a woman today who grew up in Carroll County, briefly lived in Baltimore City and moved back to Carroll County. She said something that made me smile knowingly. She said one big lesson I learned about living in Baltimore is "Never Smile!"

I learned the same lesson years ago I told her, especially on a public bus. I asked her "How did you know that this is an unwritten rule in Baltimore?" She said, "If I smiled I got all sorts of unwanted attention from men" "One day, I smiled at a man in a grocery store, so he followed me out and kept following me. I had to avoid going home so I could lose him."

This inability to smile was one of the main reasons she decided to move back to Carroll County.

I told her that I lived 12 years in the city and I've developed such a tough outer core that I'm totally unprepared for all of the people who smile at me since I've lived here in Carroll County. I can't even prepare a smile in return fast enough for them to notice!