attempted breast biopsy this morning

I finally went for the biopsy on both breasts this morning , butdue to the excruciating pain upon being touched theTechSaid that the pain is only going to get worse and do I want to proceed so I said no.

I figured the only option is to just accept the death sentence of cancer so that being said the first thing out of my mouth was oh well I guess I'll just have to accept the death sentence

She said well are you open to the possibility of going in for actual surgery where they put you to sleep and I said yes I'm open to that possibility. So a doctor came in and talked to me and I told her my views and about palliative care and for some reason that made her and the tech make a :-(  face.
apparently when you say that you are interested in palliative care they assume that that means that you definitely don't want to live.

But all that means is I don't want aggressive treatment and I refuse aggressive treatment such as chemo and stuff like that

So the surgeon is going to be calling me regarding having a consUlt  about impatient surgery and I will certainly keep you informed. I asked them if a woman ever had to refuse her biopsy because of excruciating pain? She said yes about 5 percent of women are unable to go through with the procedure

"tough decisions"

Yesterday I stayed out for 8 hours went to a feng shui seminar, as well as an event at the library.  Took my first 30 min. "hike" in this state.  Beautiful nature.

But, like I said as soon as I wake up the pain is excruciating, and takes away from any kind of outside enjoyment.  So, it's good that you are kind of sort of out of our own head, stimulating your brain; but the physical pain after 2 hours is unbearable so I wonder if I should just make sure I never go out for more then 2 hours?

Going through the motions of going to the pain clinic but they won't give me enough to relieve the suffering so I take these meds because perhaps it's better then nothing.