"At least attempt to learn English"

So, I'm in Dunkin Donuts and I've ordered an egg croissant at one of the d.d.'s that I don't normally go to. There is no loud music playing so there is no excuse for the clerk to make me repeat myself 3 times!

me-I'd like an egg croissant please and some mayonnaise packets"

clerk-WHAT?

ME-I'D LIKE AN EGG CROISSANT PLEASE AND SOME MAYONNAISE PACKETS

clerk WHAT , YOU WANT SOME BUTTER?

ME-(i am very angry at this point) I want some mayonnaise. He turns to his co worker with pleading eyes. The co worker looks at me and says WHAT

mE-I need some mayonnaise please

HIM-We don't have mayonnaise

Me-" mAY i HAVE A chocolate donut in a seperate bag and a pumpkin coffee? ( I see no place to pick up the order as the counter is high and there are plants that you'd have to reach thru to get your order!), so i ask, "where should i pick up my orde?r"

clerk "what?"

me"where do i get my food"

clerk-"here"

"have a good day" he says

(YOU ARE KIDDING ME AREN'T YOU?)

I find these transactions absolutely exhausting. They are the norm, not the exception.  :(