The person I want 2b

Despite the thousands and thousands of experiences that I personally had with black on white racism now that I've left Baltimore approach every interaction every meeting with an African American in Arizona as if I'm living a brand-new life (without those tragic experiences in my background.) As far as I'm concerned every single human being deserves a fresh chance so I do everything in my power to put those memories out of my mind when I'm making new African American acquaintances or friends....

"Anderson Cooper race and class in u.s. part 2"

So, I tuned in for just 20 minutes last night for Cooper's special on race and class.  There are 2 reasons why I did not watch the whole thing.  The panel kept interrupting each other which I find stressful.

But as soon as Michaela said that whites are priviledged and they are the dominant class and they don't know what it's like to be discriminated against due to their color, I  shut off the t.v.

If you have been following this blog for a tad, you know that I experienced much reverse racism in the many years I lived in Baltimore.  And, as a white, I was not the dominant race, in Baltimore City where I lived for many years.   She works for BET. Black Entertainment Television.

"Calling the Police was a waste of time"

I showed him the item that was placed next to my bed and he said he didn't know what it was. I told him what was missing and he started on this merry go round of intimidation tactics.

"Ms. Snyder, why would anyone, pop your air mattress, or steal food, or steal underwear that's just not logical"

me-I'm not going to try to psychoanalye these people, and I'm not going to pretend to understand the way they think. all i can say is that your department told me to call if i had any more concerns, which is what i just did.

(Why isn't anybody looking at the fact that I waited 10 days to call, and I'm calling non emergency which shows that i'm not hysterical , i'm pretty clear thinking, and i'm not going to call unless i am really worried) these are the same patterns as the criminals followed at my last place.

ms. snyder "I said, don't you see it makes no sense. do you understand"

me-I don't see it your way

cop-"Cut it with the attitude. I'm not talking to you with attitude, and i expect you to show me respect. Do you see what i am trying to explain to you? Nobody breaks into people's homes to steal their food or pop their air mattress.

cop-"Look, I have a degree in psychology"

(and i have a degree in social work, but there isn't much point in saying that now is there)

So i still feel scared and he's treating me like i'm an idiot just like they did back in the city.

"Well, how did they get in?" he insisted.

I don't know, a bump key? (I probably had these conversations with cops, mayors, chief of police, t.v., newspapers 10,000 times in the 4 years I was at La Pew. Bottom line, I don't know what goes thru a criminal's mind all i cared about at La Pew was getting out, not sticking around and hoping i didn't get murdered or raped.



cop-I can assure you, nobody else in your complex has been bothered and i can assure you nobody followed you out here from baltimore city..........................

If I disagreed with him or didn't say anything he would demand that I agree with him and see it his way. All i can say is, if i have to make another call to the police district, I won't ask for that same officer.............................

The cop who took last summers report on the fireworks complaints (fireworks every night from june thru october) made me give my email address!

Most of my experiences with the cops out here have been pretty good; this is only my 2nd bad one. But it certainly wasn't a very comforting consensus.

I wasn't the only person at la pew who regularly had their food stolen............He asked me any other items. I said that well, when they take your underwear and dishes you don't notice it right away you notice it later.

He made a face that seemed to say, why would anyone take underwear or dishes? but at La Pew-every single thing I owned but journals and books were freely taken from me............................even all of the silverware and most dishes and cookware.

Looks like I'm on my own as usual..................

(I doubt this is the most coherent piece I've ever written, but I'm pretty flustered which makes it tuf to write the best pieces)

EVERYONE WANTS TO FEEL VALIDATED

Have you ever gone through something and not known a single other person who'd been through it? So you write about it in your journals and possibly feel very alone. My friend is a therapist and has at least 12 clients who discuss with him how angry Baltimore residents seems to be and how unsafe they feel living here.  

I used to feel afraid to breech the topic of reverse racism. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I feel a sense of relief because now I have 2 single white female friends who've gone through horrible verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse for being white. One of my friends is a nurse at a hand clinic and my other friend was a hostess in the dining hall of a nursing home. She did not feel safe at all, based on what she saw happening to minority white employees. She'd run to her car after work for fear of being robbed, raped or killed. And this happened in rural/suburban baltimore county. Somehow she survived the job for 4 years.

I'm so grateful to now have 2 women who I can have an open dialogue with.

I told Jill (the one that worked in the nursing home) that Oprah had a panel of speakers discussing racism and sexism right after the Imus controversy. Jill said that the problem of reverse racism needs to be acknowledged before anything can be done about it . Wise words from a 20 year old, don't ya think? But no-one on the show, on the panel, or in the audience acknowledged it. I've been meaning to write to her.............................