Looking back at 4/28/2006

nannying for mia today

Whenever I'm at work a large dog barks non stop for up to 5 hours!   The dog lives in the very next apt.  I called animal control who stated that they are going to send the owners a letter.    when I called the management office, they gave me the same song and dance that you always hear when you live in an apt. "You CHOSE to live with dogs!"

I replied: "So you aren't going to help me?"

"Our hands are tied" she said.

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Mia was tired by 3.  I gave her a bottle and she fell asleep in my arms.  After 15 minutes I put her in her crib.  She cried for 22 minutes.  I "ferberized" her a technique I learned on the mommy channel.  You go in their room every 5 minutes but don't pick them up.  that ferberizes them.  After 22 minutes of crying, I picked her up and she slept in my arms for 10 minutes.  I put her in her crib at 4 and she cried for 3 minutes.  It's  4:10 p.m. and she is sleeping.  I am very tense in my chest because the dog is still barking. 

We went out for a while and when we got back "Fernando" the dad was home.  He knows very little English.  He asked me if I drink beer or Jack Daniels?!

I said: "I can't afford to drink and I'm not going to get baracho at work! (drunk!)  I spoke mostly in Spanish.

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nannying on 5/3

Unfortunately Fernando has a crush on me.  Talk about awkward.  He said "I like you, don't tell my wife!"

I played dumb and said "But no es romantico!" (it's not romantic love) "Of course you like me, I love your daughter!"

He said he actually doesn't go to work on Fridays he just goes out and plays so that I can make some money.

He went on to ask me if I want whiskey!  He thought is was very strange that I said no.  I asked him if he drinks and drives?  He said "Yes, I've never had a problem!"

I said "I hope Mia isn't in the car when you drink"  He said "She isn't"

When I rested my hand on my head he said:

YOU OK?!!

"Yes" I said

ARE YOU SURE?!

"yes! I'm sure why do you ask?!"

"Because you put your hand on your head!"

(Oh boy this man is making me very uncomfortable. 

He said: "When I go to parties the women always ask me if I am married!"

He repled to them "Yes, but I'm Mexican"

(easy to read behind the lines this man will have no problem with cheating on his wife)

"Looking back at babysit job of 4/2006"

Dan told me that once I win disability I have to quit the job I love.  I was a sub at a waldorf home school.  On the one hand it brought me a lot of joy, on the other hand the lyme disease made me very very sick and very weak.

Starting in 03 I began an aggressive search for part time work.  It took me 3 years to find this baby sit job.  Shortly after
 beginning the job, I realized that a man/men were breaking into my apt. and stealing my earnings out of my dresser drawers.  As soon as it looked like things were looking up some cruel person is stealing from me................................................

4/8/2006

Today I was with mia for 3.5 hours.  In the first 45 minutes she was irritable.  (she was about 7 months if I remember correctly)

I changed her diaper and gave her a bottle and she was so much happier.  We cuddle a lot and I play and talk with her.  I really love to rock her in the rock chair just like I did with James back in 01/02, when I would sing him to sleep.

Around 6 she got real tired.  No matter what I tried she just wasn't able to fall asleep.  I tried rocking, playing feeding, her bouncer, toys, and I tried twice to put her in her crib.  After 15 min. in the crib if she was still miserable I would pick her up again.  I put her in her swing.  That didn't help.

I rocked and fed her more and she slept lightly in my arms.  After about 15 minutes I put her in her crib again and she fell into a deep sleep.  Her swing is still rocking and I can't get it to stop!   I can't get her diaper pail open either!

Her father, Fernando, said that she usually does fall asleep around 6 p.m.  She fell asleep 6:30.  Dad walks in the door at 8.  He has very poor English speaking skills and I'm not fluent in Spanish.

He announces "I HAVE VERY BAD NEWS!"

(boy if I only had a penny for how many thousands of times people have said this to me i'd b rich)

My heart skipped a beat.....................

"What's the bad news?" I asked

We're not going to need you on Sat. or Sun. as we originally had planned! 

(He has just told me a few hours a go that he will be needing me!)

This is very disappointing but I try to view it as a temp job so I won't get so upset about the hit in my earnings.

Geez I needed to get a land line, shelter, and a car just to land a job where I'm lucky if I make 100 a week!  WELCOME TO AMERICA!

"getting there" 1/6/03"

Author's note: my car has been broken down for weeks and my nanny job depends on it.  Although my bosses are millionaires they are only paying me $9 and hour and have no idea that I'm at risk of another episode of homelessness.

1/6/03

What a nightmare.  I'm still without the car and the auto shop hasn't even come up with a diagnosis yet.  Carlessness is akin to homelessness.  The entire last 4 days has been almost solely about getting around town.  I'm at Barnes and Noble right now.  "We" (the house i'm renting an apt. in) have had no indoor plumbing for 4 days.  I have not been able to bathe, do dishes oe even flush the toilet.

Toyda I'm busting my ass trying to figure out how to get to work.  I called a cab at noon.  (It's very cold and ice and snow cover the sidewalks)  The cab. company asked me for my phone #, but I don't have it memorized yet so I cdan't give it to them.

They said: "What corner will you be waiting on?"

I said "Well, i'm at rusk and manhattan but i'd like you to pick me up at my home"

"We can't do that if you don't give us a phone #"

I walk 2 blocks through ice and snow.  A guy asks me "How you doon?"

I told him I've bee asked to wait at the corner for the cab company.

"But you don't know how long you'll have to wait" he said.

I thought: "Oh fuck this.  I'm hitching with the next person who looks safe.  An old guy is driving by.  If offer to pay him to take me to the light rail.  He says I'll take you but I can't accept your money!"

I get to the light rail and ask 4 people which light rail stop I'd have to get off at for Thrifty rental car?  But nobody knows.

Each person gave me an incorrect answer.

I got off at the wrong stop and haved to take bus 27 to get to Thrifty.  Eventually got there just to find out that I can't afford a rental car.  So I called for a cab to take me all the way to my nanny job.

Just to have my boss renee* tell me that she doesn't need myservices today because the schools are closed!

she said she'd be willing to drop me at barnes and noble if i'll wait an hour and half.  (I've lost the transit money and a days wages)

I'm at b and na and I'm worrying about whether or not I should take a bus, a cab or try to find another rental car I can afford.  I just overheard that the roads are getting real bad

Should I chance getting into a n accident with a rental car?  Or do I hope tha a cab will get me safely home?  If I have the rental car tomorrow I'll have to use it to pick my boys up from school.

There is no rest for the weary.