Ez

Now that I'm in Flagstaff it's easy and natural to be kind outgoing and friendly. I've truly regained my playful self with the wicked sense of humor.

Its e.z. now that I don't have a virtual  fuckin gun at my head every goddamn minute like I did in Baltimore!

August 2005 to 10/2005

"Now I'm a bit more in the know/Aurora"

Reminds me of Columbine.  Also reminds me that, not until 2005, had I ever met anyone who was afraid to go to the movies.  But there were a handful of African American women in my section 8 bldg. who felt that going to a movie in Baltimore is one of the most dangerous things you could aspire to do.  :(

"Alert the Media"

You hear it over and over again from me. How deadly Baltimore streets are.   I'm too scared to stand at light rail stops alone even during daylight hours. Last week a woman was raped at the light rail stop!

  So he wouldn't kill her the victim  jumped into a river. Later she got out nude, flagged down a passing car and had the driver call the police. This man had assaulted before, finished his jail time and was back out raping and threatening women's lives again.

Even though I've lost/had stolen most of my worldly belongings in the last 14 years I know it's a miracle that I am alive, and that's what's getting me through the material loss.

By the way, I have alerted 4 local t.v. stations as to what is going on in my bldg. The death threats, the thefts. I just did this today by email. I'll let you know the results as soon as they come in.

Take The Greyhound"

Of course I've seen Jodie Foster in many flicks.    I'm pretty certain that she is 44 like me. Anyhow, I saw the part of the trailer were she is on the subway and a guy with a gun and a guy with a knife threatens to kill her. I thought, "Oh, just like my life here in Baltimore, don't need to see that movie"

  My friend Dan said that he was on the subway train here in Baltimore when a gang surrounded him and unsuccessfully tried to steal his wedding band"

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story 2/the bookstore

A customer heard me telling Andrew* the barista about my day on the bus.

  Another customer finding the conversation interesting had this to say:

 "I took a bus ONCE!  It was 20 years ago in Florida. I was visiting my best friend down there and she had to drive me to the Greyhound station. The driver warned my friend of how dangerous and scary the Greyhound would be, and that the station they are driving too is also very dangerous.

  My girlfriend pulled a gun out from under the driver's seat of her car to  show me how she protects herself. (the woman relaying the story to me said that she had no idea that her best friend carries a gun!)

Anyhow, the woman relaying the story, we'll call her Mary, said to her best friend: "I'm sure riding the Greyhound won't be a big deal, I'll just read a book and not make eye contact!"

I smile, realized that something crazy is coming in this woman's story. Mary said that she sat in the front of the bus in the handicapped seats and buried her head in a book. Suddenly a woman starts yelling:

OH GOD, OH FUCK, OH MY FUCKING GOD

Mary looks up from her book to see that a male passenger has pulled his penis out and is peeing in the aisle!

Violent section 8 housing

The latest with me is this. About 100 dollars worth of stuff and belongings has gone missing in the last 2 weeks from my apt. And Im not permitted to have a lock where maintenance doesn't have a key! ;(

Yup, it's the maintenance men.

Was advised which security camera to buy. Got it home, clerk told me the wrong thing, it doesn't tape record. Obviously I have to move, and obviously I need some belongings with me inside my current apt. They will steal anything, I feel so powerless. Guess, I'll have to try to find another security camera, but don't really hav the strength to keep living like this.

It's draining, terrifying to live somewhere where every time you leave the house you know something else might go missing.

Putting lots of time into finding another home. Could take years to move to another section 8 apt, with the wait lists and all, so in the meantime I am exploring intentional communities in the surrounding states. Hope to visit one this weekend. (www.ic.org)

Had blood rechecked today for Lyme disease. Eager for the results. Not sure whether my primary care physician is equipped to handle my symptoms but I'll ask him. 24/7 pins and needles in my feet, legs, arms and hands thats been worsening. Limbs always falling asleep. Many other scary symptoms. Will keep you posted.

Where is the joy?

Well, there is one piece of good news. My first piece has been accepted for publish in the Urbanite magazine. www.urbanitebaltimore.com

The piece is called "all in a day's work" and will appear in the october issue of the urbanite. It's the only good news that I have for now.