Everything is broken

Everything Is Broken: http://youtu.be/gKZ797AIuwA

I've been blogging about how everything is broken for many years now but I had no idea that Dylan to the song about it until yesterday when I heard this on the radio

do it right the first time? fugedaboutit!

everything's just as broken in Arizona is it was in Maryland. Nothing gets done right small nothing gets done right big.

I was out less than 2 hours tonight and both things I attempted to do we're done wrong I'm only going to talk about one right now, this would qualify as a small thing but what is so maddening is it happens every single time.

Retail restaurants medical care it doesn't matter everything's broken.

This evening I did something I very rarely do I went through a fast food drive-thru and iconic hamburger place in northern Arizona.

I go up to the speaker and I order a mushroom burger and a root beer. The girl calls back through the microphone she states that'll be a hot dog and a root beer right? I said no that's not what I said I said mushroom burger and beer.

Sorry!  she said

After about maybe a seven or 10 minute wait and it is well worth it in this case, she States the price: that'll be $9.50 she said

Me-since when is 450 + 250 =9.50!

Sorry ! she said

I'm just wondering when everybody is going to stop being sorry and do something right for a change?

If any of my readers are experiencing society has completely broken on every level please tell me your story!

"The dumbing down of America"

So you know that I have been blogging about how everything absolutely everything gets done wrong and/or is broken.

I went into a thrift shop and asked the clerk

e-"where are the ladies hats?"

clerk-(English is her FIRST language) "the scarves are on that wall"

elana-"but I asked about the hats?"

clerk_"like I told you, the scarves are over there!"

I give up, and look at where she is pointing and I see the hats.

She comes over and says:

"Oh, I was thinking a scarf is a hat!"

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today I asked the waitress if she could: "pop by my table when she gets a chance"

she replied: "we're all out!"

me-"what do you mean your all out?!"

her-"we're all out of POT PIE!"

me-"but I asked if you could "pop by!"

"Just one teensy weensy problem"

I have not had properly working electricity for nearly 5 months.  I have made numerous complaints to the maintenance men as well as the utility company, to no avail.  The lights flash constantly and if I try to use the microwave or d/w for example you can hear juice being sucked from appliances and the microwave will whir and even get real dark.

So, I can't read or cook or do anything normal.

If it is not resolved I will b forced to pay my October rent into escrow.  So, as has been the case for 20 years now, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING is a grueling fight and struggle.

"Everything is broken"

This has been my theme even before i started the blog, and it only gets worse.  What if, every phone call you made, every item you tried to purchase, every single thing you do every day is broken?

It is exhausting and maddening.

There is a mom and pop hardware store nearby that got great coverage in the paper.  The article claimed that they have exemplary customer service.

I went in there today to buy "earmuffs"  There were 3 customer service reps. and nobody knew where the item was.  When i finally found the item i brought it up to the desk.

I swiped my credit card. She said i swiped too soon, so swipe again.  She said it isn't working.  I handed it to her presuming she would know to type it in manually.  She tried 3x it didn't work.  She just kinda stood there with a blank look on her face.  I said "well, mary, what's the update?"  "She said "I don't know"

Her supervisor had me come over to another register and sign my name on the template.  The template was so badly scratched and obviously needed to be replaced you couldn't really even see TO sign your name.  It didn't work.

I said to her it's all scratched up.  She said "Yeah people think they need to use alot of pressure"  I replied "well, i can see why they would think that, as my signature didn't take"

"Try it again, but this time, write it in the box!"

I do, it finally works. All this just to purchase one item!  Exhausting!

"Everything is broken/ you mean you had a lobotomy too?"

Nobody's brain is working.  Every single ttransaction , cashier, med. asst. whatever, EVERYBODY says: my brain isn't working, i'm not here today.

I've been waiting 4 years to get into a pain specialist. I finally got referred to one (even though my only primary care physician is on paper only)  so I called.  I was told that she just moved out of Mountain Town.

I found out that I might be able to get my insurance to pay for transporation.  I asked 3 professionals today for the # but 3 gave me the wrong #.

When I finally did get the #, the insurance lady who was very nasty said, "you can't get a ride without pre-auth."  "How do I do that?"  So this went on and on and finally I called the specialist.  I had faxed my medical info 8 days ago.  They told me they lost it.

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There are some local politics I'd like to get involved in.  Then I was told to show up at city hall and just go to "the meeting"  I said to the girl on the bus "what room?"  she replied "there is only one room in the building!"  (there are likely 200)  I asked what time?  "Show up any time on Thursday" 

"What is the meeting called?"  I asked.  She said just "the meeting"

when i got there today none of the employees had any idea what I was talking about.

Life is just a wild goose chase where nobody knows anyting and nearly every action I take is wasted because the entire society is fu#$%@!

"Deplorable"

7/18/11

Monday afternoon

Here's a tad bit of an overview of the last 3.5 months in this small mountain town. I really like an awful lot about this town despite my inhumane and deplorable life conditions. I've easily had 15 addresses if not more.

Shelter A* didn't let me back after i got out of the hospital because they said "you don't sleep well communally" While i was in hosp. about 300 dollars worth of my belongings dissapeared from this so called" Christian" Shelter.

Shelter B only let me stay 3 days saying that "you aren't in enough danger to warrant staying in our shelter"

Subsidized Housing Community "Hippo-krits" said they are unlikely to approve me because "you are in so much danger on a day to day level that your presence here will jeapordize the other tenants"

Since 6/1 I've been in Dye-Inn motel. Squalor and danger. My roomate is a psychopath and my room has been violated, broken into on what looks like a daily basis.  My monthly rate was 300, but the owners just changed over to a weekly rate of 175 a week. So with less then 24 hours notice they evicted me last night and told me i have to be out today.

I went thru in my head all of the theoretical options and can come up with none that are healthy or viable.

Agency D was planning to fund a move in to a new place, but that will be a few days and I'll be on the street til that happens. Looks like I'm going to lose all of my belongings again. Today is cold and rainy. With no car and no money for a storage unit i risk that my belongings will be put to the curb. Despite the fact that it is illegal for landlords to evict with so little notice, they are going to do it anyway and there is no time or energy to fight it.......................

"In the first two hours of my day today"

I check the mission of mercy flier because I need the phone # of the Reisterstown branch. There is no phone # except for corporate. mom is that program that doesn't seem particularly merciful at all. The dentist comes twice a month to x location. Patients need to arrive very very early and hope that they are in the first 5 to arrive. Some say show up at 3 a.m. some say 5:30. I ask the woman when is the next time the dentist will be there. Sept. 30 she says, then she jumps ahead to something else and i slow her down so i can write it down. No remember you're showing up at 5 or earlier so you want the right date! I repeat:

"So the dentist will be there tomorrow. What time should I show up?"

"Oh, did i say sept. 30? I was wrong. It's not until 10/8."

Now how about for the REisterstown location. That's a less scary ride for me at 4:30 in the morning.

"Well, no dentist is coming at all in Oct.

"So what time should I get there?" I ask

"5." She said.

"I should get there at 5?"

"5, that's how many the dentist will see, 5. The rest will be turned away!"

I feel extremely nervous about driving at 4 in the morning with a car that the mechanic just can't seem to fix properly.

"I say, and we do need to wait in line outside, right?"

"Yes"

p.s. The doors don't open until 8:30. And I've done outdoor lines like this in 20 degree weather in January. As I get older, and feel so ravished by fibromyalgia pain this is very intimidating. But I have cavities and advanced periodontitis where most of my pretty teeth are loose.

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Called bge to get an extension for the shut off notice. I waited on hold for about 1/2 hour. My extension is until 10/8. On about 10/4 welfare will help with the bill

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remember I was screaming and crying at the specialists office. they never were able to complete the outpatient procedure, so they referred me out to a pain specialist. I call there today and the recept asks me the same dreaded questions I've been asked for 15 years.

"What is your insurance"

"Medicare I answer"

"Do you have a secondary?"

this dear reader is a trick question. Because if I had said, no i don't; she probably would have scheduled me. But instead she said

"The doctor cannot take medicaid patients!" the staffer told me over the phone.

E - "Can't take medicaid? But medicare is my primary and it will cover the entire bill!"

receptionist- doesn't matter, our team won't touch medicaid under any conditions.

E-"I want to speak to the insurance specialist."

receptionist-"I am the insurance specialist."

E-I want to talk to the manager.

receptionist-"well, I can't give you a # for the manager, because the manager is the doctor's wife and she'd have to be called at home. All I can do is leave her a message!"

(it occurs to me that all I had to do was just not mention the Medicaid and they would have given me the appt!)

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My friend is paying a portion of my phone bill so I don't get shut off. He's been trying for 4 days and Verizon keeps telling him that no such account exists. Finally today the Verizon rep. found my account.

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me to the mechanic. "You know that repair you made 2 weeks ago?" "Well, it broke 48 hours later. Can I come tomorrow?"

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At grocery store the people in front of me ask me if i'd like to go first since i don't have many items. No thanks I said. The cashier yelled something to me about the express line. I shook my head no. "She yelled: Yes, express is open" "I yelled "I'm not going to express, I'm staying here." She muttered something angrily under her breath.

Nearly every grocery store some clerk is begging you to switch lines. It's very stressful. And for her to be angry that she has to wait on me? If she were a server she'd make bigger tips on the customers with a lot of items. But to resent that I'm staying in her line?

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Am I the only one who sees society as broken on every level?

"Everything is broken"

It's a perspective that I feel nobody else is experiencing. In that sense, it's risky for me to write about the way I experience the world.

Everything is broken

The concert itself was phenomenal, but here are the events surrounding the event!

MD STATE BOYSCHOIR CONCERT AT A LOCAL CHURCH

I saw an ad in a local paper for the boyschoir concert. It said: "$12 donation suggested" (All past concerts in this church have been drop money in the basket, so this is what I was expecting, if you don't have the full amount no big deal, and I didn't)

When I arrive I see a cash box on the right. I asked the volunteer about the purpose of the box.  "I thought this concert was a donation thing, what's the box for?"

She looked and me like I was from Mars.

 me-  "Is this cash box where audience members have to put the 12 dollars?"

  "No" she said. "You were supposed to purchase tickets in advance!"

E-"Oh Boy, the ad I saw did not mention that"

Lady 1- "You can talk to the lady at the entrance about it"

E-"I just took a cab here, because of an ad in the paper, that said nothing about buying tix in advance"


Lady 2-"This show is all sold out"

E-"That's not right"

Lady 2-"Here, I have an extra ticket, but tell NO-ONE that I did this!"

E-"Thank You"

I'm an hour early and need a place to sit. I try to go in to the wait lounge. 2 people are blocking it off.

E-"Do you mind if I sit and wait?"

"Well, I guess so............"

I felt like I was breaking a rule, but needing a place to sit.

The concert it self is fabulous. At breaktime, the officiator says:

"It's breaktime,  don't leave your seats because there is a video"

I go try to get water, but I'm the only one who gets out of my seat! I ask an officiator. "Where is the water fountain?"

"This church has no water fountain. But there are cups in the ladies room"

I go to the ladies room. There are no cups. I lean my mouth under the sink, as a well dressed, well heeled white woman looks on, disapprovingly. When I am done, I say: "The church has no water fountain"

"Yes, it does" , said a little girl!"

"The system is down"

Two main themes of my blog are:  Day to day life in poverty

 and 

                                                    The system is down/ everyting is broken



 Back in May I found a sheet of paper on the ground with scotch tape on it, so apparently it blew off of someone's office door. I smiled and thought "Oh my god" I have to pick that up and save it. It said:

"THE SYSTEM IS DOWN"

 I'd love to hear from you if you've also experienced every level of society as broken and chaotic. (I seem to remember something from a grade school science class where they describe the universe as chaos)

I wake up and check my voice mail messages. The first one said:

a. this is sally, i need to speak to jane. jane, I'm here at the pediatric clinic in fort worth, texas. call me back. i hesitate to fax the paperwork to this number,  so call me back. (sally did not leave a phone number)

b. is a taped message. "so your warranty will expire in 90 days if you don't call us back, so get back to us" (no phone # or company name mentioned)

I ask myself if I should even bother going to the job fair at towson university. After all, most employers won't look at me since I don't have a car. I dress, get my resumes together and head out the door because it's important to me that I always feel like I've tried my best at making a better life for myself. I go to Brick Wall's Pharmacy for a cold coffee. I have to purchase it at the pharmacy rather then up front because their credit card swiper is broken.

I leave there and head to the bank.

I ask the teller for a check card register.

"This?" she asked me.

"No" I replied.

"This?" she asked holding up a large check cover.

"No" i said. "This?"

"Yes" I replied.

"How should I have phrased my question so you would have known what I needed?" I asked.

 transaction thingy!? "I have no idea how you should have phrased it!" the teller said.

"Well, thank you" I said.

I head for the bus stop and take the bus to the university. I head for the union. I start asking students.

"Where is the job fair, do you know?"

"no" the first student said.

e (elana)-"Where is the job fair , do you know?"

"no" the second student said.

e "where is the job fair , do you know?"

"No, they are giving blood in that room there." the third student told me!

e-"I'm not here to give blood! but thank you anyway." (funny, my friend casey goes to goucher and said they are constantly trying to get blood out of her!)

I head to the info. desk.

"Where is the job fair" I ask.

"I have no idea the clerk said."

A student overheard me. She said: "Oh, they really blew it when they advertised the job fair in the towson university paper, they said "Tuesday" but they meant next Tuesday!"

e-"That's pitiful when the job fair people can't even put out a correct ad, that's ridiculous!"

"It sure is." she said.

Now, I am over here at the Towson U. library. It's shockingly quiet. The kids came back to school yesterday. Normally, after the kids come back the library sounds like a zoo. Perhaps it's because I'm here early in the day. Oh well. I'm going to go check my email now.