"Overheard cell phone conversations"

Man on bus to whoever  "So do you want to get a piece of ass?"

yelling he repeats "Do you want a piece of ass?"

again  "DO YOU WANT TO POP A CHERRY?"  he screams even louder

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today i overheard the same "conversation" in 2 different offices, receptionists discussing their private lives in a way that everybody can hear.

"yeah he was throwing up and throwing up"

library receptionist  private conversation "YEAH HE WAS THROWIN' UP ALL NIGHT!"

(there was a hilarious skit on prairie home companion last night that took place in nyc.  in the skit folks are yelling at this guy with a new york accent who is screaming into his cell phone in a cafe.  check it out)

"Retail Hell/Rude Ass Society/Overheard"

You remember the market where the manager told me not to leave behind a cream or a sugar?  Well, Brenda* the girl that was my cashier today, certainly is a good fit there because she is a cold hearted you know what.

I had one person in line in front of me today.  Brenda told the customer that 2 people have been fired.  Ricardo* and Miranda*

She had the nerve to disclose the details of the firing in front of me the customer!  She said that R. was always sick with kidney and liver problems.

THEN she said that when they found out that M. was going to quit, THEY FIRED HER!

I said: Oh, I know why your company fired her, you fired her because that way you aren't required to pay her unemployment benefits!

She was silent!  Dumbfounded!

I am also dumbfounded at our entire society.

"I'm sorry" feels so empty and dishonest"

I can't tell you how many people say I'm sorry every day!  Most of the time it is completely empty.  A guy whose dog lunged and barked wildly at me,  on a public sidewalk, then slipped out of it's collar, said to me "I'm sorry"  this morning.  I told him that "sorry isn't good enough"

Everybody has multiple dogs and most of the time they have them on long leashes or loose!  Instead of training the dog to walk beside them!  I mean, please, you aren't sorry-if you know your dog attacks people then why doesn't it have a muzzle?

In just 1/2 hour I was nearly run down by speeding, errant cyclists who refuse to use the bike lanes.  Some say sorry, most don't.  No, you aren't sorry and you belong in the bike lane.

Grocery stores are as dangerous as the roads now.  Just observe, most people who are flying through the store with carts or are

racing
looking behind them
texting

 and on and on.  You can't even get thru the store safely without people, including employees running you down with large storage carts.  You are not the only one in the store! 

What it boils down to is that most people are selfish, selfish, selfish!  Like they are the only ones on the planet?

Are Australians this selfish I wonder?

Perhaps England?  Are they more considerate and well behaved?

I honestly don't know............................................
!

"RUDE ASS SOCIETY"

  It is so draining to leave the house in Baltimore.


  In fact on the news recently, Baltimore was voted as having the most rageful drivers in America. That's been my experience too both when I had a car, as well as observing how drivers treat peds. As I think I've told you before, a ped. is hit every 4 hours in Baltimore. That's one aspect of our rude ass society, and here's another:


"RUDE ASS SOCIETY/THE CURSE OF THE MOP AND BROOM"

I must have  magnets throughout my body that only attract brooms, mops and dustpans in all restaurants and coffee shops! Today, I arrived at Bagel-O @ 5:05 p.m. I put my belongings down @ a good table, walk over to buy my coffee and when I return, there is a broom and dustpan propped up against my table. I stand there for about 4 minutes waiting to see if "broom man" will "sweep under my feet" (Some women wait to be swept off their feet while I get swept UNDER my feet on a daily basis!) Broom man doesn't return but I can't relax so I change tables.

Broom man starts sweeping. Will he come sweep under my feet @ my new table? I wonder. He's scanning me right now...I remain braced to change tables suddenly.

Yesterday, I ate lunch @ Sun Yoo's deli. There are about 20 tables there and only 3 are occupied. The instant I sit down to wait for my salmon burger, the owner squeezes between my table and the empty table next to me. He turns so his ass is in my face. He bends over and starts chalking the day's specials on the portable chalkboard that he has laid on the table next to mine. He doesn't say: "Pardon me or I hope you don't mind if I...." or anything of the sort. He acts as though I'm invisible. Then it gets worse. He moves the chalkboard so it's half on my table and 1/2 on the table next to mine. He's facing me now (still like I'm invisible) bent over chalking and has essentially barricaded me in. His wife calls my number and initially, I can't get out to get my food!

He finally lets me out , I get my food and he goes back to "ass in my face" position! He is like this for 1/2 of my meal.

Sunday, @ Bagelo they start mopping and I had to leave because I can't handle the chemicals. I was talking with a fellow customer when the mopping began and I said: "I have to leave becuase the chemicals make me sick, do you want to go across the street to Marty's Pizza?" "Sure , he said."

We walk across the street to Marty's pizza and I choose a seat far away from the t.v. (T.V.'s in bars and restaurants are a serious pet peeve of mine, largely because they make it hard for me to hear whomever I'm with) I take 3 bites of my slice of pizza and an employee starts mopping. "Oh no" I said to my acquaintance. The owner yelled across the store to a customer in seriously broken English. (he's from Greece) I did not know what he said, or who he was talking to. My acquaintance said: "He wants us to go sit under the t.v. so he can mop!

I DON'T THINK SO.

How to cope with being "stood up"

On taking risks on meeting new people.....it's worth it. Even though 90% will stand you up. At least that's been true in my life experience. It's been just as true with making new women friends as it has been for making new men friends. Let me provide my own definition of being "stood up"

I'm going to broaden the definition for the purpose of this piece. Stood up means, at the last minute they don't show. They may call you at the last minute or they might not call you at all. It's no fun, but here is how I cope.

I was supposed to meet a "new friend" today for lunch. When I called him to tell him that I'd be there in 15 minutes he said: "oh, didn't you get my message?" "I can't be there"

So as to not be crushed by these frequent last minute cancellations and no shows, I have people meet me at a place that I'd be at anyhow. I had planned to have lunch at one world even before the meeting was scheduled. So, no great shakes. Yeah, it'd be nice to have the company, but the no show has not inconvenienced me.

I don't really "date" I just kind of do something like this: "Hey Mike, I'll be at Starbucks from 8 to 10 p.m. on Tues. night. I'll be wearing a green t shirt and burgundy pants, come by if ya like!"

"Invisible"

When I left the house I saw and heard a group of about 6 La Pew* residents yelling in front of the elevator. One of the women's dogs and leash were blocking my path. I said excuse me twice, she couldn't hear me so I made a wide loop to get around the dog, so I wouldn't get tangled in the leash. I didn't even bother trying to access the elevator.

In an attempt to cross Wyman Drive, 2 cars nearly hit me because they weren't looking for pedestrians.

I go to the pizza place and the entire floor is flooded with bleach and detergent while 3 employees decide to deep clean while patrons are dining!   I'm allergic to the chemicals but can't eat outside cause it's raining. I go to the back of the restaurant and eat my pizza fast. When I try to leave the one employee acts like he doesn't see me and is about ready to mop over my feet! I have to say: PLEASE WAIT FOR ME TO PASS!"

I go to cross the "super rude" grocery store parking lot, I'm in the crosswalk. I have right of way yet an old man who doesn't stop for the red light,  proceeds to nearly run me over by making a right turn on red WITHOUT stopping. I'm furious. I yell into the driver's side.

WAIT, WAIT!

WAIT FOR WHAT?! he yells. MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS! he yells, angrily pointing and wagging his finger about an inch away from me.

WAIT FOR THE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS! YOU'RE A FUCKING PEDESTRIAN!

(He only hears the first sentence, not the second. My friend Jack who is also a psychotherapist, said that my response was a healthy and normal one! cool!)

My heart is racing. I'm forced to cross one more street to get to the bus stop. A man in a truck makes his left before allowing me to cross. I shoot him an angry look. He stops his truck to get in the last angry look.

I can't believe the stress of all this hasn't killed me!