"untold stories of the e.r."

Hi folks,

still alive but been largely homebound by migraines and nerve pain.  The couple downstairs chain smoke as you know but I have not been well enough to "fight the good fight" (hmmm maybe I should go to karaoke and sing that tonight, haven't been in 14 months)



So you may recall that I was having  crushing chest pain (I now suspect it was chostochondritis  which is chronic chest pain associated with fibromyalgia)

So, I go to art walk then I go to the e.r. because that is what the local urgent care place  instructed me to do.  They did the e.c.g. then oddly they had me dress then go the wait room.  They didn't explain why.

Two hours later at 11 p.m. they got me a room.  Even though I brought my own blanket and pillow I was absolutely freezing.  I would request a heated blanket, then they would leave for 2 hours without bringing me a blanket.  For the most part the staff were pretty good this time, but there was one dr. who (I didn't realize it until later) was trying to do a physical exam and the pain upon touch (allodynia) was so severe that he laughed.  Attempting to read his mind, I suspect that he thought I was "faking" the pain.  But you all know by now that certain types of touch are therapeutic but most touch even light touch is excruc iating.

One dr. stated that they would take blood and put an i.v. in and give me pain meds to see if the meds help with chest pain.  By the time they released me at 3:50 a.m. they had never gotten around to giving me any pain meds.  So, I asked if I could at least have meds for the migraine and they made it a point to tell me that "we'll give you something but we aren't going to give you narcotics!" (they didn't explain why that is)

They took me for a cat scan and I was violently shaking from being so cold.  The room where the machine was, was even colder.  They said that they were going to give me contrast dye which I found terrifying.  The tech stated that I would feel "warm all over" "feel like I have to pee" and have a metallic taste in my mouth" but that the entire test would be only 5 minutes.

The entire top half of me tasted metal, and I yelled out "OMG IT'S 200 degrees!"  I felt like someone had set me on fire.  Then suddenly, I was freezing again and shaking.

There were so many sensations from being in the e.r.  As you may know even the electronic  bp cuff is torture.

The bottom line is that they found "a mass in my upper outer right breast"

I would find out weeks later that this has absolutely nothing to do with being in pain.

I am supposed to go for the mammogram.  So, although on some levels qol has risen this summer, I am still fairly certain that if you look at the overall picture, there are few Americans that could tolerate the conditions.

"bye bye miss american pie"

from the chevy to the levee and this will be the day that I die.  After yet another "death scare" and what looked like yet another close call and things calmed down, I heard the American pie lyrics in my head.

I thought to myself on sat. morning that this not the way I want to die, and It is not safe for me to live alone.

First of all I awoke at about 6 a.m. unable to breathe.  The liquid came up to block off my airway.  I ran outside hoping that cool air would help.  I wheezed real loud for quite a while with very little air making it in.  For the next 3 hours my throat and mouth were burning a and you have that horrible taste and I was audibly wheezing very very loud due to the liquid in there.  Today I am still having a hard time breathing and started on advair but i'm not sure how to use it.

But the morning was a picnic compared to what was to come at 11 a.m.  I woke up freezing cold, like being naked in the snow.  My muscles were very taut, I was shaking violently, and my teeth were chattering so fast I could not have spoken if I wanted to.  I ran in to the bathroom, ran the hot shower and stayed iin there for the sauna effect.  It didn't work.

Even if I call 911 I can't speak so what good would it do.  I put on a coat and a hat and shoes and unlocked the door in case the ambulance crew needed to come in.

At about 12:30 I fell asleep, then woke up at 1:30.  My past experience with e.r.'s you know a little about because I have blogged about it.

On the one hand, I don't want to die in this manner, but on the other hand, the hospital will review me and tell me they have no idea what's going on.

When I woke up I felt like my fever was 103.  I was sweating and burning hot and weak from the ordeal.  I can't figure out how to use the thermometer I got from frys.

I have no money for a taxi, but if I call ambulance I wasted over 1k in resources, and getting home will be nearly impossible.

I thought it was related to a med. I'm on however my orthopedist told me today that she thinks that an infection is coming on and my body was trying to fight it.  She recommended I alert my primary are physician.

"Weak stomach don't read this"

On Saturday, Groundhog day, I woke up with the most terrifying and paralyzing back pain that I can recall ever experiencing.  I was afraid to call for an ambulance based on my last experience which is under "Untold stories of the e.r."

I called a friend but she didn't have time.  I feare calling a taxi, what if I passed out in the cab.  A cab came in 10 minutes and she had her shirt pulled up over her mouth.  She said "you aren't going to get me sick are you?"

"It's my back" I said.

She dramatically pulled the collar of her sweater down.  I said "You know if you are afraid of getting sick, you take that risk everytime you pick up a customer.  And I take the risk ever time I ride a public bus"

She said "Well, I guess you are right about that"

When we got to the hospital she swiped my card 8x, then manually entered it.  It said "card declined"  I said "I can assure that my paycheck went in to that account yesterday there is no reason on earth it should say card declined.

I told her I would figure out a way to get her the money.  I ended up mailing her a money order.

Anywho, despite the fact that about 6 or more hospital workers asked me why I was there, my discharge papers were incorrect and said "abdominal pain"

While it is true that I was having excruc. abdom. pain that is not why I was there.

They did the x rays that was supposed to be getting the next day of the ab. area.  Now I assumed they also x rayed my back. (but they did not)

After hooking up an i.v., doing the blood work and the x rays they said "we have no idea what's wroung with you.  So, they discharged me literally 15 minutes after putting in the i.v.!

On  Feb. 4th which was Monday

I woke up with migraine and nausea.  I took my usual meds but repeatedly vomited them up and couldn't even drink liquids.

I have only been eating like an average of once every 48 hours..........................................I feel terrified but as you know the gastro dr. had cancelled my emergency appointment due to my owing 31 dollars.

The next day I was too weak to leave the house................................................

"911 what's your emergency?"

First I'll do the best I can to describe to you what I was feeling even though I know it is tough if not impossible to grasp.  Certainly the medical staff had no idea what I was talking about

Immediately after taking my sleep medicine on Friday night, I became extremely dizzy.  The room started spinning.  It is terrifying to live alone when you're chronically ill but even worse when you are sick upon sic.

I don't know what to do but to keep the cell phone close.  I text 2 friends to let them know I'm very sick and I'm not sure what's wrong.

Then I called the on call doctor at my doctor's office but the call didn't go through.

I tried to walk to the living room chair very slowly.

The body wide pain is even more excruciating then usual and I'm having the sensation that if I fall asleep I either will die in my sleep (that part is o.k.) or the thing that really worries me is that I will fall asleep but wake up paralyzed.  I have had similar sensations as a side effect from Elavil, however with the Elavil I felt and heard a metal sound in my head and my heart raced so fast I thought it would kill me.

I think the saddest part of this story is how I was treated by both the paramedics and the hospital staff.  I told the 911 dispatcher to make absolutely sure that my "purse" goes with me to the hospital.  I can say one or two words but I really can't speak in sentences.  I am so sedated that I can't keep my eyes open.

When the paramedics arrived (I couldn't tell you what they looked like) I pointed to the "purse"  My main concern was that if I were going to die in a damn hospital my journals need to be in the purse, not home because I have not considered myself to have a safe place to live in many years.

The paramedic picks up my purse then puts it back down and decides to leave it at the house even though I insisted.

The paramedics are rude and seems to be mad.  They keep yeling at me to keep my eyes open which I can't.  They keep insisting I tell them the exact date I was last transported in an ambo. which I could not do.

They said "IF YOU DON'T WALK DOWN THESE STEPS YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT!"

(3 flights of steps that a stretcher can't be carried on)  When they insisted I walk, I grabbed the banister and they said DON'T DO THAT

When I got into the ambulance I was crying from the pain of the electric bp cuff.  The paramedic (a bastard really) kept pinching my arm and holding the pinch as hard as he could.   He said:

"STOP COMPLAINING IT'S JUST A BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF" (yEAH and he doesn't have lyme and fibromyalgia)   Anytime I did not provide an articulate answer he held a pinch to my left arm.  I said please that'x excruciating please don't pinch me. 

He said "Well, then you need to cooperate"

He wondered why I was "crying" and I told him the bp cuffe was excruciating.  I kept complaining about what felt like convulsions and electricity in my body.  He said that my bp is very high.  (well I don't know what you want me to do about that it is normally low/normal)

When we got to the hospital, I was put in what appeared to be some sort of overflow room.  I rarely saw any hospital staff.  I told the nurse I needed to go to the bathroom but I can't walk their by myself.

She said "WALK BY YOURSELF OR DON'T GO"

She also said "You either go by yourself or I'm not going to triage you
"
I "collapsed" in a chair and never made it to the toilet.  She kept good on her threat and "punished" me by not triaging me for at least another 2 hours.  I was in the overflow room until 4 a.m.  When the doc saw me he said he has no idea what the matter is, gave me a med.

Sends nurse into the room.  She hands me a stack of papers while I am supine.  I asked her if she could put it with my coat, and she initially refused looking at me like: "How dare you tell me what to do with the paperwork"

I was asked if I had money for a cab.  I said well for one thing I insisted they bring my purse but they elected to ignore me so no I do not have money.  She looked at me like:

She was going to keep me in the hospital indefinitely since I have no ride home.  After 2 hours they called me an ambulance and I was home by 7:30 a.m.  I have a significant bruise on my arm from the guy who kept pinching me.

The hospital here in mountain town have a horrible reputation and I have been told repeatedly whatever you do don't EVER HAVE SURGERY AT MOUNTAIN TOWN HOSPITAL YOU WILL REGRET IT.