"Synchronicity/What a treat!"

Just days ago i told you that i wrote to npr and said that one of the most life changing shows was hearing author Alex Kotlowitz  (author of famous essay "there are no children here")

Last night he was on again!  He was on "This American Life"

They are doing a 2 part show on Harper HIgh School and what it is like for these children to have witnessed sometimes dozens of shootings by the time they are of age.

This is powerful stuff.  I was a city resident from 95 to 11 on and off.  Nearly every night i went to sleep to the sound of gunshots.  I always counted the gunshots and i always reported to police.

I recall gun fire breaking out on Greenmount Avenue in Baltimore.  I instinctively dropped flat to the ground.  When I got up i reported to a store owner who seemed to get a kick out of the fact that i bothered reporting it.

One time when i lived on Guilford Ave. my room mates were on vacation.  I heard something come crashing through the window.  I dropped to the ground and crawled to a phone and called 911.  When the cops came they made fun of me and said it wasn't bullets it was just rocks.  they did not make a report.

Looking back at First Blog Post 4//2007

Welcome to my first blog site! 2 nights ago, i was so desperate to get away from the chaos and noise of my neighborhood and bldg. that I checked into the inn. I've only been here a little over 24 hours and I feel like a different person. You see I live in a gov't subsidized bldg, where I just found out that that funky smell making it's way into my apt. is my neighbor's crack/cocaine.

At home I hear dogs barking around the clock, one of the neighbors uses woofers so my walls shake from the stereo.  Police don't seem to care about noise pollution even though it is torture.  The tenants scream and yell constantly even in ordinary conversations.

 Did I mention that the maintenance men are regularly stealing from us? Yes, I've found the following missing. Clothes, dishes, silverware, food, can opener, cookware, tapes, and money just to give you the tip of the iceberg on what life was like here.

 I am desperate for a better life, and waited 11.5 years to get into subsidized housing which i was sure would help me climb out of poverty.  I never dreamed I'd have to live in fear.  Checking into the "inn"  for a couple of days is a first step toward clearing my head, and hopefully finding a better life for myself somehow!

"Talking back to NPR!"

Some of my best "conversations" are when I talk back to NPR!  Nearly every show they do wows me.  I was THRILLED yesterday to hear Alex Kotlowitz's voice on "This American Life!"

Because the show was about somehting that I care deeply about, write about, and have been discussing with my friend Jackie who is a female survivor like me.

We both have PTSD, and I have been purporting "forever" that the effect that violent crimes have on civilians is nearly identical to what it is in vets!

Kotlowitz said what I have been saying for years!  "There is nothing POST about post traumatic stress disorder!"

Readers, please check out that broadcast:

it aired on 1/13/13  "This American Life" and I think it might have been entitled "The Doppleganger Effect"

I read Alex's essay entitled "There are No Children Here in Spring 05.  I never would have guessed that i would live an even more frightening version of what he describes in this essay.