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"I was a child, I didnt know we were homeless. If we stayed in a motel with a t.v. it was a real treat! That's when I fell in love with NOVA"

"Mountain Town Shelter Closes"

About a week ago one of our shelters closed.  There were 40 beds for men and about 15 for women.  I do not know where the women ended up but I heard that most of the men are back in the woods living in a tent.  The rest are living up to 8 per motel room, until (Brad told me) management finds out and kicks everybody out.

Looking back at First Blog Post 4//2007

Welcome to my first blog site! 2 nights ago, i was so desperate to get away from the chaos and noise of my neighborhood and bldg. that I checked into the inn. I've only been here a little over 24 hours and I feel like a different person. You see I live in a gov't subsidized bldg, where I just found out that that funky smell making it's way into my apt. is my neighbor's crack/cocaine.

At home I hear dogs barking around the clock, one of the neighbors uses woofers so my walls shake from the stereo.  Police don't seem to care about noise pollution even though it is torture.  The tenants scream and yell constantly even in ordinary conversations.

 Did I mention that the maintenance men are regularly stealing from us? Yes, I've found the following missing. Clothes, dishes, silverware, food, can opener, cookware, tapes, and money just to give you the tip of the iceberg on what life was like here.

 I am desperate for a better life, and waited 11.5 years to get into subsidized housing which i was sure would help me climb out of poverty.  I never dreamed I'd have to live in fear.  Checking into the "inn"  for a couple of days is a first step toward clearing my head, and hopefully finding a better life for myself somehow!

"My current environs"

The motel i'm at currently is pretty clean, very comfortable however, there is something very wrong with the water heater.  There were 2 seperate days where I couldn't bathe when I wanted to because of some problem with the heater.  I have made 3 complaints and the problem has still not been resolved, so I filed a complaint with headquarters.  We will see what happens.

"life in hell/life is crap"

Just like in September, I ran out of disability funds to house myself about 4 days ago.  Shockingly I was able to get a loan which will at least keep me off the park benches.  But still, most of my days and nights are just survival, like that first essay i wrote in 10/07 that showed up at www.urbanitebaltimore.com

I have been wearing the same pair of pants for a month.  My new friend is storing my few belongings, but I don't travel with more then I can carry on my back, since I am carless. I keep very  clean, and folks have told me for as long as i can remember:

 "well, you sure don't look homeless"

 I do not wear a neon sign on my forehead that flashes "homeless!"

Last night i stayed at a well known chain that got miserable reviews on trip advisor.  I had to climb 24 stairs to get to the 2nd floor where the ONLY non smoking rooms were.  I arrived after dark and struggled with my key.

The door won't prop open, and the switch is not turning on any sort of light.  My only option is to use my completely awesome lightweight flashlight to make my way to the bed.  There are 2 lights above the bed with energy saving light bulbs, yet, neither one works!  Now that saves energy!

I walk with my flashlight to another light near the t.v. but the light mimics candle light, so it is not adequate.


The carpet and bedspreads are in keeping with  my personal taste.    Southwest designs in burgundy green and red.  Unfortunately when I lie down i can feel the mattress springs but it's not terrible.

The room is very clean and that is rare.  The curtain is not long enough to cover the entire window.  The noise is excruciating but that is true nearly everywhere I have ever lived.  Tourists on trip advisor frequently complain about noise.

  There is no complimentary breakfast and the clerk comments incredulously with:

 "what do you need complimentary breakfast for?  There is a restaurant next door!" 

I said, "because i don't have any money"

The next morning after getting the free coffee i ascended the 24 steps and the key wouldn't open the door.  I had to call down to some random person and ask if they would help me.

p.s.  the landline is non functioning and the alarm clock doesn't work.

"It's really brutal"

I never know where I'll wake up each day at this point.  Always around the have nots, so everybody around me is coughing up a lung, smoking and spitting constantly.  So many seriously mentally ill here that you never know what is going to happen.  It can get scary.

A smi guy 55 got on the bus yesterday and started yelling incoherent things to the driver.  he was angry.  unfortunately the driver let him on.  He sat across from me and I acted like there was nothing weird or scary about him.  Unfortunately he tried to engage me immediately.  If I igore him it will be worse.  Most of what he says is non-sensical.  He says he's lived here for 70 months.  I said 17 months?  He said, no, 70.  (i've lived here for 17 months)  He says "Sam says it's o.k. for me to call you honey.  You dn't mind, do you?  AFter all, it's been a long time for me"

"That umbrella, you belong on the beach.......You seem like your ( a nice lady?  i assume he will say)  on pcp or crack!"  (he then begins cussing)

I asked "Why do you think I'm high?"

"Hey driver your going to the psych hospital arent' you?"  (I pray he'll get off there but he doesnt) Thank goodness i'm due to disembark in less then 5 minutes.  He says "god bless"

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Later, the driver said "You sure held your own very well and I was so impressed the way you calmed him instantly"  I repled "I'm professionally trained in that area!"

I left my domicile at 8 a.m.  I went to agency a begging for help to pay for one more night where i am.  The recep. said "You dno't qualify you aren't a domestic violenc victim"  I showed up anyway.  She tried to turn me away "I said, "Oh no you don't.  I DO QUALIFY FOR HELP AND I WILL EXPLAIN IT TO THE CASEWORKER"

She said "Well, you can't see a caseworker unless you have your

birth certificate
drivers license
social security card
proof of income

(I don't have my proof of income but I tell them I will call SSA and have them fax it)  The ssa employee said he "isn't going to do that for me unless i am standing NEXT TO the fax machine.  i told him i am.  when he faxed it i said "let me walk over to the machine"  he began yelling that i essentially was fraudulent by telling him that i was next to it and how dare i.  I hung up on him. 

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I'm called to the back.  The c.m. said before even interviewing me "It doesn't look like you qualify"  I replied "but the recep said you have to be d.v. and I can prove the violence"

She said "well, that isn't the right kind of violence"  Now, if you have a medical emergency maybe i'll help you.

"I'm disabled and i can prove it"

"Oh no, that's not good enough you'd have to have a heart attack or something like that before we'll pay for one night"

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Next, I spend 2.5 hours making calls a to z in the phone book asking churches for help.  I get spotted for 3 days but it's complicated because each morning i don't know if my stuff will go to the street.  One said, well cover you AFTER we take the love offering on weds night..................................

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the frig where i am just broke so my precious food has spoiled.  they said i need to do a linen exchange.  i discover the bed has maybe 20 years worth of blackened urine stains on it.

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the motel owner wants me to befriend the man next door (even though i don't know if i'll have funding from day to day

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My many wealthy acquaintances wouldn't last even ONE MORNING in my shoes.

7/28/11 "Journal Entry from Mountain Mold Motel"

A prior guest/guests of this fleabag motel where I spent 9 nights put the following bumper stickers on the frig. One says "Bankrupt America" and has the design and colors of Bank of America.

Another bumper sticker placed on the frig reads: "www.blancobasura.com" (i speak spanish do you?) It means in English "white trash"

You can only imagine what it was like to live at this motel and the sorts of other folks who might live here too!

Motel Families: The Invisible Homeless

I hope to enlighten my readers in posting these videos, and I also hope to increase compassion for these singles and families.