"Delicioso!"

Whenever a meal at the soup kitchen is real good or exceptional, i tell the servers and sometimes even tell the chef.  I might say "perfecto"  or put my fingers to my lips and do the kiss insignia to express my pleasure.

Today was one of those days.  I called out hello to Jeanie* one of the diners.  A man repled:  "Hey, don't call me Jeanie!"

me-"What do you want me to call you then?!"

him_"Just don't call me late for dinner!"

me (i don't know him btw) "I KNEW you were going to say that!

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There were actually 2 diners who i was talking with, neither were at my table.  One was from New Mexico, and  the other livesin the woods, Rod.

So, rod tells me that John, and he points at him is the "nicest most politest guy you will ever meet"

I repled "creative 2, he just put orange candiesin his vegetable soup"

Rod said "Hey John, I think she has a thing for you!"

me-"I can sure u if i like a boy i will be sure to let him know, i will not need an advocate because i am a world class....(and then i whispered) FLIRT!"

Rod_"Oh you are are you?"

(author's note-i think that most of us here have miserable miserable lives, but the kidding lightens the load, if only for a bit)

He starts asking folks trivia questions.  I follow up with some of my own.

me-"What is the most touristed town on route 66?"

diner-"Kingman?"

me-"No it's Mountain Town!"

me_What is the 2nd largest county in the u.s.

diner_"Well, the first is San Bernadino........But i don't know the second!"

me-Our's i said.  although we have a rural landmass with few people it is still huge.  (the first i think is l.a.)

The diner asked me what brought me to Mountain Town.  I said, well i can't say here in front ofa group.  All i can tell you is that i sent the story to a true crime writer.

I said you know they call this poverty with a view.  But, i call it homelessness with a view.

he said that although he lives in the woods he does not consider himself homeless.  I said I'm fairly sure that most homeless people are not experiencing this as happy or joyful like you do.  He said "The earth is my home"

"Hey, haveyou seen that book about surviving the government?"

"No"  I replied. 

"Well, you know i can't stand Obama, he said.  "Obama is in the mafia"

(in social work school we learned the technique of using I messages)

Me-"I'm not really 2 comfortable sharing my viewson Obama!"

him_"I respect that"

Me-"Well it was nice meeting you and u have a good day"

him-"It was great meeting u too"

"Overheard"

I share this anecdote with you because it is sure to make you smile!  I sat down at the table at the soup kitchen last night when one man said to the other:  "She has great knockers!"

Much to my chagrin  (wink wink  ;)   ) they were not referring to my knockers!  They were looking at pictures of women on the internet!

"Livin' on 630 a month"

So, lsince the 14th it has been hand to mouth living.  That's when i ran out of cash.  So today for example, i walked 1/2 mile to the bus stop, then arrived at the bank 15 min. later where i went in and poured myself some delicious coffee on the house.  yesterday when i did that i was acknowledged my 3 different employees which i found to be a drag.  But i do need coffee, so i went back today but instead of staying indoors to drink it i just took it outside and waited another 1/2 hour for bus.

Took bus to the mission and arrived 40 min. early.  I have to stay 3/4 block away from the mission and talk to nobody b ecause everybody smokes and i can't take it.

Luckily they let ladies go first, so i don't have to worry about my inability to stand for very long.  Lunch was amazingly good today, grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

During lunch we heard alot of sirens.  Rumor has it that someone committed suicide by running in front of the train.

It took me 2 hours to get to the library since due to my disabilities there was no other way to get to the library.

One of the mission patrons yelled "hey who wants to come see the dead guy?"

Things at home are deplorable with my smi roomate.  She set off the smoke alarm 2x in one hour last night.  She climbs on the dryer to turn it off.

I'm always waiting for the next disaster.  She is up all night, and very noisy, so i'm up around the clock too.

The director is looking for a solutin but hasn't found one yet,,,,,so i have no choice but to look to move yet again.

In an hour i will get on the bus to go to the soup kitchen for dinner.  I hate going there but there is no other choice.

"War Stories for Xmas Day at the Soup Kitchen"

As per usual I did nt celebrate xmas.  I am largely homebound by ice snow and then on xmas the bus didn't run.

I have 3 bananas to eat so i'll pretty much have to go to the soup kitchen.

They say this area is liberal but you would never know it at the soup kitchen.  Many times i meet angry diners who are all talking about how clse minded they are on various issues and really don't seem interested in hearing what anybody else has to say especially if the view is liberal.

Not 5 minutes into the really bad meal, a diner starts telling his story.  He is new to the soup kitchen, so I replied "That is what folks talk about here is their "war stories"

He asked me if I had read the local paper lately.  I said i don't read it every day.  He and his wife roll up their sleeves and show me stab wounds.  They went onto say that the article was in the paper. "Man stabs his roommates"

 The wife said that Mountain Town is an extremely dangerous place to live.  i said the whole society is, and there is nowhere to run.

I told her that in the AZ republic they said : "The most dangerous place an American woman could be is IN HER HOME!  That has been my experience as well.

The handsome man in his 40's chimed in.  Here is a paraphrase:  "Oh you think YOU have it bad?  See this bullet wound?  I was shot in the Aurora movie slaughter!

I joined in with some shocking stories of my own.  I could see a physical reaction that the wife was having because of the stress of the stories.

I proposed that the way we should all end our meal is with a rendition of White Christmas.  I began singing, everyone joined in and she cried because she was moved....................................

"Soup kitchen snapshots"

Today, in the middle of the meal, an elderly black man began singing (very very badly!) a funk/disco song that I recognized instantly.

I called out: "Hey I know that song!"

The african american attendant said with a big smile to me: "Please don't encourage him, most people here can't take that singing!"

The elderly singer came over to me put his hand on my shoulder and said: "You know why HE (the attendant) doesn't know the song don't you?"

"Why is that?"  I asked

"Because he isn't REALLY black!" the man replied

me-"Well then , how do you explain that I KNOW the song?!"

(This question leaves the singer speechless;)

"To the soup kitchen for lunch"

I only go to these places because starvation is not a pretty way to die.  This is only my 4th time at this particular soup kitchen.  On my way, I see a man attempting to get off the bus but having a great deal of trouble.  I consider helping him but I know how fiercely independent many disabled people are (including myself) and I don't want to insult him.

He has a walker, 3 large canvas bags and a prosthetic leg which he hasn't yet mastered the use of.  I wonder if he too, is going to the soup kitchen.  It turns out he was.  On the patio, everybody is smoking cigarettes.  Can I handle 12 minutes of this?  Turns out not, I begin coughing.

I hope they still have the rule that women get to go first.  There is a semi line forming outdoors but it's about as organized as 6 year olds lining up for recess!  About 15 men go first, then a woman.  I decide not to go infront of the 15 or so men, thinking likely they are all eventually going to give way to the women.  Once inside I'm surprised another line forms.  It is so long and it is shaped like a horseshoe.  I'm surprised how many there are.

Let me backtrack to the patio.  The man Carl* with the prosthetic leg asks me if I'm "from Mountain Town"  I tell him that I need a t-shirt that states: "Almost Local!"  because I'm qualified to answer most questions!  I've told you in prior logs that I will help people within reason but not to the point where giving help is going to suck the life blood out of me!

He wants to know how to get to "the church"  I start by asking him if he needs the church for low income help or for worship.  Once he says "for worship" I tell him that not being very churchy I'm unlikely to know much about it.  I tell him about the "Mountain Town bible" (i made up that name) which is a 2 sided sheet of paper telling all the resources.  His questions became very unreasonable and I told him that he was going to have to go inside to the soup kitchen and ask them. 

So many people you can tell, not only do they want one or two questions answered but likely they're just plain scared at this new homeless gig, and what they really need is a full time assistant!

I alerted staff that he needs lots of help.

Anywho, the director says a prayer and  we begin to head for the food.  People are hemming and hawing and being indecisive about approaching the table.  Not me I just went.  I wondered how many slices of pizza you are allowed but i didn't ask.  I see most slices are very tiny but I find one large slice and take that.  There is soup that looks mostly like broth, I don't take it.  There is good high quality yogurt and a couple of different types of pasta.  Unfortunately all there is to drink is kool aid.

I choose an end seat and wonder who is going to spill soup down my back.  I'm watching the line progress and it's a sad sight.  because the leader is barking orders every step of the way:

ONE SLICE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?  CAN'T YOU SEE ALL THE HUNGRY PEOPLE BEHIND YOU IN LINE?!

Then, a man gets kicked out.  For the first time since being in Mountain Town I feel really sad for Bernie.  He is lucid with an invisible friend and has always in the past made me uncomfortable because he stares at me.  But today I feel really bad.  His eyes begged?  BUT WHAT DID I DO WRONG WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE?  I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT TODAY?!

They tell him he touched too many plates.  Fearing that he forgot about the other soup kitchen, I yell out to him to come by the other one at 4 p.m. for an early dinner.

This is a mostly depressing place.  There is one guy at my table who comes across as having a middle class or better background.  Clean, polite, well dressed well spoken.

Typically the most I do is say hello and that's it in these sorts of environments.  For as depressing as it is-I feel better after I eat.

I walk to the bus and I see Carl again.  I tell him that I alerted staff that he needed lots of help.  He told me WELL I CAN'T GET USED TO MOUNTAIN TOWN SO I'M JUST GOING TO MOVE TO WISCONSIN.

(I think, yes, but truth is, THERE IS NOWHERE TO RUN)