Sleeping better

I've been sleeping much better the building has been quiet enough to sleep between 9 p.m. and 9 a.m. if there's any hours roughly the hours that you choose to sleep I'm not having nightmares that often, they are not as Vivid or as violent I'm actually feeling rested during the day which is something I probably haven't experienced since I was 11 years old

Left about 6 hours first time I slept in many months

This and the combination of the fact that for some reason on Saturdays and Sundays there aren't as many main doors and screening around here as well as the noise outside isn't it bad to check out this Randalls relaxation that he's made to help people sleep I had it running all night last night https://youtu.be/bAp15gpvW0s

Part 2 earplugs

Part 2 so I thought this can really change my life they were paying me I think 9 dollars an hour it would it wouldn't affect my disability check.

But the next day I have been up all night from the usual high powered stereos fit in the ghetto they build them into the ceiling in all four corners of the ceiling the high high powered stereos and the usual screaming and fighting and banging and sirens. So sad I knew that if I tried to drive to work on no sleep that I was going to hurt and affect other people's lives and maybe have an accident so I had to quit  :-( and I haven't had a job since)

If you're one of those people it's constantly advising people do weird where air plugs who are in situations where the noise pollution is excruciating and that it's 24 hours do you really think that people are going to where your plugs and Bose noise cancelling all day and all night and never take it off because of noise pollution. You've never been in the noisy situation the kind of noise that harms your health you've never been in that situation if you believe the miss that your plugs can change this

There has been official studies that you can google that debunk earplugs adequately blocking out severe noise. Like where I live now they slam their doors all the time my floor shakes my first your shakes I get shaken awake and I give a woken by the auditory of it so your plugs wouldn't make even the tiniest bit of a difference

don't sleep at all or

I either don't sleep at all, or I have multiple nightmares where I am being raped tortured and attempted murder. It's extremely extremely rare for me to have an actual dream. I also I'm going to say maybe about a year ago began hallucinating. I only hallucinate after I've gone to bed not when I'm up and about and awake. But the Husa nations are always the same well they're very similar each time it's always a man breaks in and attempts to rape me but never succeeds in actually seriously hurting me. I doubt highly that I have any sort of schizophrenia but due to my post traumatic stress disorder and being a violent crime survivor I believe the things that are happening to me now or results of that.

Z clinics in town for so-called mental health care are deplorable. My health insurance does not cover any counseling or mental health other than maybe a psychologist rather than a therapist. So if I wanted to I could get medication but not any kind of actual therapy and less I went to the college and the college only helps you during the school year they you won't get to stick with the same counselor because after they graduate you have to go to a different counselor.

Is it any wonder that veterans come back to this country and commit suicide. I am very disappointed in the media only recording on war veterans PTSD because I know that there are probably millions of citizens what's the word when you're not a veteran I can't think of the words but now I'm detterence there are probably millions of non veterans who also have PTSD and are at suicide risk.

When you wake up and you're aware of all these horrible nightmares that you had it makes it even harder nearly impossible to get out of bed and face your day.

My friend markieren mountain town thanks that I put everything else here on my blog but it's actually much much worse than what I put on the blog

been awake 4 days

I've been awake since Saturday at 9 p.m.. It seems that I fall into some sort of an in between state or a very very light sleep on some nights but last night I didn't even get that. In that very light sleep or when you have trouble breathing that can encourage absolutely horrific nightmare said I don't even want to repeat. Well maybe I'll change my mind but for now I don't really want to put that out here

A couple of the girls on facebook said that hospitals in some cases will put people in some sort of a coma if you haven't slept for 3 days or 4 days or whatever, interested in learning more about that but more importantly perhaps I should go to a sleep clinic and be evaluated.

Even though I had violent stomach pain on Monday night all day Tuesday and then Wednesday as well which is today, on Monday I managed to walk almost 2 miles in a park that I had never been in before. That was pretty miraculous I had to do that with my new Kane. By the one mile mark my back was hurting extremely severely but I was able to complete it complete the loop. Definitely felt good to be away from the cars and breathing clean air and be away from the noise it didn't look particularly pretty likely because it is the dead of winter and it just happened to be a freaky warm day.

That particular part didn't really do anything for me as far as beauty is concerned but on the drive I took the other day I was very shocked I found that even within 3 miles of where I live I found a lake that was half frozen the part that wasn't frozen head geese in their families out playing and the contrast of the pines the ice the Sun and the partially melted snow really blew my mind.

Been getting some amazing photos with my new smartphone. That was part of my motivation in getting a smartphone is to advance my photography hobby a little bit.

I can't remember if I told you this but they can't do the biopsy to find out if I have cancer until I arrange transportation. They will not let me take the bus or a taxi cab they want somebody to accompany me both there and back in the event of complications. So I will have to check and see whether or not Medicaid covers transportation for certain things like this. I don't think medicaid covers transportation for the endoscopy and colonoscopy.

You're always thinking about how much pain you're in and how sick you feel. Like I said I just found some Facebook groups for people who are chronically ill and I

"The latest"

The latest is that in the last 8 days the woman below me has been doing some sort of round the clock construction.  I've had 4 hours sleep in 8 days which means I get stuck at home even more due to not being able to keep my eyes open.  This is why you haven't heard from me.  A drag indeed.  I don't know if my calls to police will make a difference or not, we'll see.  Certainly hoping I won't need to make an emergency move due to my need for s leep.

"Survived the holidays"

Something really crazy happened regarding my sleep.  You know how little sleep I've had since 1975.  Well, 3 nights ago, I slept about 13 hours, then the next night I slept about 13 hours.  I was completely shocked because each time I awoke around 4 p.m.  Unfortunately I awoke with a severe headache both mornings which is most likely the sinus infection; so I had to take some heavy duty headache meds.

 That's too late to leave the house on the bus because it would mean I wouldn't get home until after dark.

So, since I've been stuck home since 12/31; I made a point not to take any sleep meds last night, which insured that I would be up all night, but that it would allow me to leave the house at dawn which is actually somewhat refreshing.  I've gotten a lot done and also bumped into 2 acquaintances I hadn't seen in ages which was fun.

But now I'm exhausted!

I'm so relieved the holidays are over I have not enjoyed hearing about "everybody's joyful vacations"

"Craziness in my apt. building"

I can't disclose exactly what it is yet on my blog, but it is the reason I have been awake for 4 days straight.

I am soooo overwhelmed.  I need to move and I know where I want to go but I don't have the money to both move there (it's warm there)

and to

buy the winter coat and boots and long johns and crampons that I'm going to need to survive here in "Alaska!"

It terrifies me to know that tonight we will get up to seven inches of snow.  We will go down to single digits.

And at least for the next 5 days we will be in the 20's with possible ice, high winds and more snow.

The concept of being imprisoned to my apt. is a very scary one despite the fact that I have so many shows I'm following on cable.

I haven't smoked the medical marijuana in months.  Once a month I purchase a couple of brownies however because I sleep well just by taking 2 or 3 bites of one.  They knock you out so you really can't have any brownie while you are out of the house. 

I've been referred to physical therapy (it's free) which will include aquatic therapy.  Swimming is my favorite sport but I have not been in a pool in 11 years. 

Being in warm water is like a high for me.  I am after all a Cancer!

I can't think of anything fun I've done since September.  I have to be back home by 5:30 each day because the after sunset temps kill me.

"The consequences of severe sleep deprivation"

So, due to my room-mate staying awake all night every night and the behaviors i have been describing to you since 2/9 ish, i have had about 25 hours sleep in 10.5 weeks.

I am very weak, can barely walk or keep my eyes open.  Someone asked me where i got my free water yesterday and i told her i didn't know.

Payng for things with my bus pass.  Normally a clear headed woman i do not know which way is up.

"Insomniacs unite!"

15 months ago my white noise machine was vandalized when I lived in Md, during one of the many break ins. The company in which I originally bought the machine, Brookstone, no longer makes the one that I loved so much. I have depended on white noise since the late 80's early 90's .

I've discovered that white noise machines are now widely available with commercials airing on you tube, and entire websites devoted to white noise machine products.  If you are an insomniac, or live with horrible environmental street noise, google "white noise machines!"