"Day to day in section 8"

  If I stay in section 8, I could get murdered.

Before I retire each night I barricade my door with a box of approximately 100 lbs. of books.  I know it won't STOP  a break in, but perhaps it might slow one down.  The maintenance men are coming into my place, (unauthorized every time)  at least 2x a week.

My subsidy is 700 a month. If I break my lease I may never get a subsidy again. Torturous decisions. If I leave my apt. even for 1 night, management leaves threatening and abusive letters saying things like: "You didn't get such and such paper work in on time!"

  I'll use any resource necessary to get a normal life going.

"My Horoscope for 9/12"

"Your tribe is to be more scrupulous in your data gathering than the rest of the population! I suggest you regard yourself as a role model whose job it is to demonstrate the beauty of thinking deeply!"

(courtesy of Baltimore City Paper)

"Boxing up my belongings"

I'm forced to put all my belongings in storage and interview for emergency shelter.  I can't cope with one more day at this apartment.  I'm basically "doubling as a security guard" for my life and my belongings.

  As I said, the officer last friday said that unless i put out a warrant for the arrest of the maintenance men, the thefts are going to continue. I told a few folks about this and they all had essentially the same response:

"Don't go to court, you'll put yourself at risk of retaliation"

 (that is why i haven't taken legal action thus far)

"I've been "away"

On Wednesday night I received a notice under my door stating that "there is a 25% chance that HUD will inspect your apt. on Thursday, Fri. AND Monday."

Here's how that translates. As you know the maintenance men have been robbing me blind.  (This does not negate the fact that there are others breaking in also)

  In the last few days I've discovered jewelry, toiletries, and a very valuable scrapbook missing. So, the times when I'm most likely to be robbed are between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. Monday through Friday, when the maintenance men are on duty, however the worry is 24/7.

The worry doubles when we're (we the tenants) are told that HUD might enter our homes at any time.  It's like this. In public housing it's not really your home. You are given no privacy, no safety and a host of unrealistic rules.

  Management hasn't helped me with any of my concerns, nor have the police, the media, or my local politicians. (Therefore I decided not to vote on 9/11. It was the first time in 26 years that I didn't vote.)

On the days when HUD might come, you can't be in the shower, engage in the unthinkable, or lead any kind of a normal life at all. In general, Mon. thru Friday anyone can walk in on you..................and if you leave the house, HUD might rob you, or god knows what else....  Go through your underwear drawer? This isn't a home.

Each time I leave my house I spend up to 30 minutes hiding stuff. When the officer saw my door she agreed that the lock is worthless. I told her that we don't have permission to install a deadbolt, and even if we did, we'd be required to give the thieves (the maintenance men) a key.

About twice a month, I find a trail of blood running through the lobby, in the halls, etc.

The noise pollution is maddening.

And I must get out before I get murdered.

So, in addition to playing security guard for my own apt. over the last few days, I've been busy compiling a list of safe houses. I have one emergency shelter offer thus far.    For example, you aren't allowed to set up a second address even if where you live is deadly. If you move out, you lose your government subsidy and your chance to get a subsidy in the future. There are strong penalties to going back to work, including losing what is pretty good health insurance.

But I must do what I have to do to stay alive and increase my chances at a normal life.

Are you beginning to get a feel for the poverty trap now?

"I' love npr"

National Public Radio.  The other day, they interviewed Alice Cooper and played his music. He's one of my favorite artists. His real name is Vince.

Do you listen to NPR? I find it very exciting and enriching.

"Why I keep truckin'"

One of the biggest reasons that I keep trucking is because of the uniqueness of my homelessness survival story and my burning desire to share it with the world. I have a feeling that the telling of the story somehow is going to pull me up and out of poverty.

  I just found a 10 page letter that I wrote to a friend while I was homeless, detailing my 4 hour round trip bus commute to my part time job at goodwill and the last 3 shelters I had stayed in. I read this letter and thought, I've got to get this story to Hollywood somehow.

  I asked my friend, an English professor,  how realistic he thinks it is that Hollywood would want my story? I read him the letter, and he said that it is highly realistic to think that Hollywood would want it, it perfectly encapsulates the day to day life of a homeless person.

I know that a story has to be put into screenplay form before it can be pitched to Hollywood. I have to contact Augusten Burroughs and ask him how long he had to wait to get paid for the movie rights that he sold to Hollywood for his book: "RUNNING WITH SCISSORS"

I plan to get back on Craigs List and see if there are any screen play writers who would want to partner with me............................

Take The Greyhound"

Of course I've seen Jodie Foster in many flicks.    I'm pretty certain that she is 44 like me. Anyhow, I saw the part of the trailer were she is on the subway and a guy with a gun and a guy with a knife threatens to kill her. I thought, "Oh, just like my life here in Baltimore, don't need to see that movie"

  My friend Dan said that he was on the subway train here in Baltimore when a gang surrounded him and unsuccessfully tried to steal his wedding band"

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story 2/the bookstore

A customer heard me telling Andrew* the barista about my day on the bus.

  Another customer finding the conversation interesting had this to say:

 "I took a bus ONCE!  It was 20 years ago in Florida. I was visiting my best friend down there and she had to drive me to the Greyhound station. The driver warned my friend of how dangerous and scary the Greyhound would be, and that the station they are driving too is also very dangerous.

  My girlfriend pulled a gun out from under the driver's seat of her car to  show me how she protects herself. (the woman relaying the story to me said that she had no idea that her best friend carries a gun!)

Anyhow, the woman relaying the story, we'll call her Mary, said to her best friend: "I'm sure riding the Greyhound won't be a big deal, I'll just read a book and not make eye contact!"

I smile, realized that something crazy is coming in this woman's story. Mary said that she sat in the front of the bus in the handicapped seats and buried her head in a book. Suddenly a woman starts yelling:

OH GOD, OH FUCK, OH MY FUCKING GOD

Mary looks up from her book to see that a male passenger has pulled his penis out and is peeing in the aisle!