Monday, June 27, 2011

"Eat, Pray, Love" (the movie)

Things that happened this year on and related to my birthday, reminded me so much of this movie. I believe this movie's main message, is that it's better to take risks in your life, then stagnate. In Julia's case, that meant leaving where she was living and traveling the world.

I'm hardly travelling the world, but what I did was scary and it was a big risk. But no matter how hard, I never regret having tried new things in my life.

So, Julia meets so many wonderful people along the way. I'd like to tie this into my birthday.

On the 23rd, I made a guy named Larry who had his van set up in a park lot. He has his wares that me makes, lying on a big blanket. There was a perfectly stenciled sign stating "Please see my wares, I'm trying to earn enough gas $ to get to my destination"

I told him that agency x, 3 blocks down will give him gas. He said, "no, i don't take charity but thank you anyhow. "

He told me of his wares and how he made them, then gave me 2 items and wished me a happy birthday.

Onmy b-day my g-friend had to cancel lunch at the last minute so I went to denny's alone. On the way to denny's there was guy walking there, to put in a job app. I told him I was going for the free birthday lunch. He stayed with me thru my meal.

On the bus back, I met a bi-lingual 5 year old, who I practiced my Spanish with. It was a real gift to meet her. We translated back into Spanish for her grand mama who doesn't know muxch english.

Then I sat in my fave coffee shop. I invited a family from Holland to join me. They had an 8 year old who could not stop dancing in her seat. I couldn't stop smiling she was such a joy, yet her parents were annoyed cuz she was being a kid. I told Anika that she is so much like me, when she hears the music she can't stp dancing. The father insisted on buying me a slice of blueberry pie for my bday.

Out front I made another new friend who just moved here from Seattle. We talked for about 45 min. I told him it was my b-day and told him y I moved here. Just as he left, he gave me 10 dollars and said "Have a happy b-day"

I told Anika "You know Anika, this is what makes life rich, this is the best part of life, the unplanned stuff where I get to meet people like you!"

She said "I just want you to have a very happy birthday!"

We gave each other a long hug before her family headed out for the rest of their trip!

"overview of 4/7/11 thru 6/27/11

1 homeless shelter between 4/8 and 4/11

2 homeless shelters in town 2 between 4/11 and 5/31

approximately 12 motel rooms

shelter 3 asked me to leave after i had been there 72 hours. their reason? you aren't in enough danger to warrant staying at this particular shelter. they put me literally on the street on friday of mem day weekend. there i am on a major highway with a suitcase and a backpack not knowing if i'll be on a park bench while i watch everyone going away for the long weekend!

pedro, who i met at the bus stop told me that if i have absolutely nowhere to go i can stay with him at sleaze motel. that's what i ended up having to do. altho' pedro was covered with tatoos, i knew in my heart that he would never hurt me. that DID turn out to be true. it made him very happy to be able to help a damsel in distress.

it was a living hell tho because i had to share his bed. the heater only stayed on for one hour at a time and he had to keep getting up to light the pilot light. i had no towel but he said he was afraid to ask motel owner to get me one. so i used baby wipes instead of shwering, but he leant me the money to buy the baby wipes! on my last day there, i naughtily asked the housekeeper for a clean towel. the walls are gray the place is filthy and smells like mold. the people next door are blaring the hyper loud stereos, and pedro has bruxism, restless leg syndrome and is literally bounding out of bed at night.

boy was i shocked when he admitted that he cant' read a word. he'd walk around with his shirt off and i asked him about his tatoos. i told him i saw "locked up raw" and that tats often symbolize affil. with gang. he said "yes i was, in my old life" i noticed that he was mbating real loud in the shwer so that i could hear him-this made me think about locked up raw where the guys mbate everytime a woman walks by.

so, when the time was right, i said "have you ever been in prison?"


me-"for how long?" (rememeber i'm a journalist so people tend to be very honest with me, i think they sense that i'm not there to judge)

pedro-"i was in prison for ten years"

me-"did u ever kill anyone?"

pedro-"i would never take a life"

me-y were you there?


so anywho, pedro's doc told him that if he doesn't get his arm operated on he'll lose it. but his full time restaurant job doesn't provide health insurance. when he got his mail from dept. of social services, i asked him if he'd like me to read it to him.

he was touched that i wanted to do that so affectionately gave me a quick rub on the arm, as i read that "pedro makes too much for food stamps and too much for health care"

I counseled him thru his various options so he can get his operation.

So, my 3rd day there he comes back from work, and he says "my psych. says i should tell u that i want to make love to u"

elana-"I knew that. You told me that as soon as u met me." (in body language and such)

pedro-"My pscy. says you owe me sex because you are staying with me. and my psych. also says that he's afraid that I'll rape you!"

elana-(omg what a life i have) "Well, y would he say that? You've never raped anyone!"

pedro-"i don't know!"


While P. was at work, I reported the broken heater. The l.l. said he's not required to fix it, then he said, i noticed you hear alot how long will you be here. I said I'd only be here for the hol. weekend. (but i had no idea where i'd go)

So, on Tues. I got an offer to rent a cheap room at what has turned out to be a very dangerous motel and I have an abusive psychopathic roomate. I'm praying to be out in a few days. I consider myself still homeless even tho' I'm paying on a place.

last mon. night, the guy 2 doors down pulled a gun on neighbor 2. I was watching this out my bedroom window. Guy #two gets in his truck ragefully lunges it forward, goes into reverse and then it felt like he crased into my bldg as what appeared to be attempted vehicular homicide! I screamed for my roomie to call 911. He just laughed.

to be continued

Thursday, June 16, 2011

HI! I am technically still alive!


The biggest aspects of my life, tragically over the last 18 years, are the very thing that I have not been able to put on the blog using my real name. ty for loving me and rooting for me. Between 6/05 and 6/11 I lived through a series of violent crimes that will shock both the nation and the world.

The reason I have not been able to blog about that aspect of life is because the criminals are not yet behind bars. In the last 6 years, and through serious long term disease, I have been "working" almost full time as a dtective. I have an enormous amount of evidence on one of the individuals, enough to lock him up for life.

I did not get the police support that I needed in maryland. On 4/6/11 I was forced to abandon my apt. , all belongings that had not yet been destroyed or stolen, as well as my vehicle which was still running.

I have been living homeless ever since in another state, and have since 4/7 had approximately 15 adddresses with another address change coming up soon. I have temporarily lost my section 8 certificate through no fault of my own.

As I said before, if i could tell you the whole truth of what my day to day life has been and is still like, using elana snyder, which is my real and given name; i have no doubt i'd have thousands of hits each day on this blog.

Needless to say, in addition to the fibromyalgia and post lyme disease goes a crippling despondency. But, at least in the last 2 days, I feel myself pulling out of it. My support system here in this town is much much and worlds better then it ever has been in my whole life. I live in a town which is open and friendly. too bad the climate sucks. I feel like I fit in better here then I did in Balto. since I have always been at heart, warm and friendly myself.

I certainly did not like what Baltimore and the 18 years of crushing poverty had turned me into. My desire to sing, and write, and get back into photography has returned.

Thank you for caring and ty for being there