Thursday, May 30, 2013

FOREIGNER:Hot Blooded 2011 Live in Chicago

Foreigner Live Juke Box Hero

they appeared at the record theatre in Randallstown in about 79, where they autographed my foreigner album.

KISS - Rock And Roll All Nite - Brooklyn Bridge - Reunion Tour / MTV Awards

"Street Social Work"

I got an opportunity this week to practice a little bit of street social work.  A guy about my age (not smoking) was sitting on a park bench and complimented the shirt I had on.

I asked him how he was doing and he said:

"I'm having the worst day of my life."

me-"I have a lot of days like that.  Do you want to tell me the story?"

him-"have a seat.  yes  I would like to tell you about it."  I am a college educated guy and I have had EVERYTHING handed to me on a silver platter my whole life.  In fact I only associate with millionaires.  But I mis-managed my inheritances, and now I'm homeless with $50 in my pocket and a vehicle.

I told my kids I've come to Mountain Town to camp because I'm too embarrassed to tell them the truth"

me-"What did you used to do for a living?"

him-"Manage my millions."

me-"Are you a victim of the recession?"

him-"Don't use that word.  I am not a victim.  And don't use the word "homeless" I don't like labels.

me-"Well, regardless of what words you choose to use, I am trying to get a feel for your story"

him-"What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

me-"Well, It's completely different for women.  I would make sure that if i'm living in my vehicle that I park it somewhere where:

a.  I don't get raped
b. I'm following all the rules and laws about parking my vehicle or camper.

me-"The last thing you need right now is for some cop to throw you in jail for the night"

me-"Why don't we go to the library I will get you the Mountain Town emergency resource guide, which I refer to as the bible.

him_That sounds great.

me-The advantage to you going to a shelter is that you will get hooked into services more quickly.

(I told him a little about my story)

him-"Your situation is worse then mine.  Well, thanks for adding a little bit of light to my day, and if I have any more questions I'll call you."

"Retail Hell"

So, I'm at the deli and I tell the clerk the following:"  It used to be that your chicken breast was the best in Mountain Town.  But the last time I got it it was dried up and pretty gross.  At that time I did not ask for my money back. 

Today, I'm going to order the same thing but, if it's dried out I am going to ask for my money back."



So 8 minutes passes and he says just give me one more minute.  He puts the breast on the plate and it looks fantastic.  When I cut into it it was very juicy and white UNTIL I see that in the center it's fleshy and uncooked.  I cannot believe it.  I ask to speak to a manager.

clerk 2-"There aren't any managers can I help you"

I explain to him the scenario and he makes excuses for the cook.  I show him the chicken and he says:

"Well, that cook is a very good employee and I'm sure he followed the correct cooking instructions!"

me-"Would you eat this?"

clerk 2 "No maam I would not!"  "How about I give you a free $5.00 gift card to our store?"

Reader this makes me think about activist movements where instead of the problem getting fixed, the activist is offered something else to appease them, basically to shut them up!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Knack - My Sharona (1979)

The Waitresses I Know What Boys Like

Adam Ant - Goody two Shoes 1982

When my landlord was reviewing my lease with me she said no drugs, no criminals, etc.  I told her "don't worry, I have always been a goody two shoes!"

"Male physicians HATE educated female patients"

On Saturday I went to urgent care because my toenail had become infected.  The day before,  I went to the library to research the issue, so I would be educated by the time I went to urgent care.

Dr. Greene* introduced himself to me with a handshake( which you know I always dread).  He must have squeezed my hand as hard as he could.  I said "OWWWW  that really hurt!"  (He did not apologize)

When I  told him I had gone to the library to research the problem, in a very condescending tone he says:

"Why would you go to the LIBRARY when most people would have just googled it on their laptop!

"I said "I did google it, but I don't OWN a computer!"

(The nurse and the medical assistant were perfect angels, thank goodness)

The Dr. left the room, and I asked the nurse to treat me like a delicate child because of my nerve damage.

Well,  apparently all the Dr. heard me say was: "Treat me like a delicate child!"


Readers, all I can say is:


"Wild Wonderful Synchronicity"

It is extremely rare for me to buy bottled water.  But I have been particularly dehydrated lately.  Today, I bought Ethos brand bottled water from Starbucks.  Five cents from every purchase goes toward providing clean water to Ethiopians.

I leave Starbucks and board the bus.  Sitting across from me are 2 Ethiopians and one has his uniform on from the Olympics.

They verified that they are Ethiopian , she lives in Mountain Town, and he the cousin comes  to Mountain Town to train.

They are Olympic runners who ran in the last Olympics in England!  I told them the crazy story about the water I just bought!  ;)

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

how strange it would be to be worshipped by millions, yet never have a conversation with one of them.  that's what's nice about the small house concert scenes that I recall from living in Maryland.

The Rolling Stones - Like a Rolling Stone

this stuff has become particularly relevant since 08 in the u.s.

The Rolling Stones - Like A Rolling Stone (Stripped)

prior to 94 I loved this song but never paid a lot of attention to the lyrics.  after 94, I really listen to the lyrics, and I find them particularly haunting, it's as if he's talking to me about what happened to my life!

"On the bus"

As you probably know, being without a car is a living hell.  Nonetheless, I have a playful personality and I enjoy sharing with you the quirky or fun moments on the bus.

Yesterday, immediately upon boarding a handsome 30 something said this to me:

"Hey Beautiful!"

me-"You're most certainly drunk!"

him-"No I'm not!"
(his friend yelled out WHOA! , kind of like "she gotcha!"

me-"I see those beer goggles you have on!"

He laughed and then get off at the next stop.  As he disembarked he said:

"You're still beautiful!"

"A liberal atheist's prayer"

I "pray" that I will always be the sort of personality that EVERYONE no matter what their political or religious persuasion will feel comfortable talking with me.

today I had a very brief but enjoyable conversation with a very wealthy pastor's wife, who used to work for Dan Quayle!  We found the common ground and enjoyed each other's company a lot.

I think life is richest when we give people a chance, take time to listen, and find the common ground.

Jim Croce - Greatest Hits - You Don't Mess Around With Jim

Please men do not spit into the wind!

bob seger against the wind live remasterized 1980

Unfortunately I am literally and figuratively running against the wind, nearly 24/7

"But i CAN'T block it out"

I had a Dr. tell me that he really gets it.  Not only am I already an hsp (highly sensitive person) but I'm also clairvoyant, so I simply cannot block it out.

He said life is particularly exhausting for people who are picking up everything!  Right now there is a little boy here in the library who is in my range of vision who is doing this head banging motion over and over.  There is a baby who is screaming in a very high pitched range.

On the bus today, a woman was "humming" in this high pitched squeal that sounded like a dying dog, at the same time a woman who looked like an indigineous Australia (koori perhaps) and is about 65; she was putting her finger way up into her nose for quite a while, then she took that same finger and started picking her lips.  aaaaaagggggggghhhhhhh

Yesterday while I was at the bus stop, a guy was standing leaning on a metal guardrail and overlooking a rocky cliff.  He purposely coughed that big smokers hack over and over again then he blew the spit balls down the hill.  Maybe every 2 seconds he blew another wad of spit. 

One of the things that worries me about men and all the spitting is that I'll get hit by it because of our high wind problem.

So in light of this posting, I will share 2 songs.

Against the wind
don't spit into the wind

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Dolly Parton Performs Rocky Top for University of Tennessee Graduates

Osborne Brothers - Rocky Top 1967

"Children's Spring Concert or bust!"

This past week I "hitchhiked" to and from the annual Children's Spring Concert.  It was free and very well done, very impressive.  It was unfortunately hard to hear and see, as the venue was not the greatest.  At times the children moved me to tears with the poignancy of it all.  There was a lot of drama, basically like a musical at times.

One of my favorites was "Rocky Top" so that is what i'll post today!


I do not recall who authored this comment, but I know it was a celebrity.  She said these words that were intended for survivors who may have lost just about everything:

"You still have you!"

"Kelly Poe Wilson, columnist, humorist"

I love writer Kelly Poe Wilson.  She is a humorist columnist and in a recent column she came out as an atheist.  She wrote about "turning to the big book" and later explained that means "harry potter!" to help her and her family cope with life's sometimes scary events!

"Now THAT'S a lame excuse!"

today I was in Big bux and I saw our local journalist.  She was by herself so I said:

"You are more then welcome to join me if you like"

she replied:

"I would but I have bills to pay!"

I thought, now that is one of the most lame excuses I ever heard.  It reminded me of when I had a blind date in Hampden (Baltimore) at a pizza shop.

the guy wasn't there but 5 minutes when he said: "I've gotta go, I think I left my oven on!"

"It's a small world/synchronicity"

You're from Baltimore TOO?!

I have met 6 Baltimoreans in Mountain Town in the past week, and none were related!  So just as I'm about ready to sit down and blog about this today, I c that the guy sitting next to me is wearing an Orioles shirt!  So, of course I asked him if he too is from there, he said no.

Too bad there isn't some sort of official registry!  If a person moves from say, Vietnam to North Carolina, they frequently seek out other Vietnamese.

So, whether you like where you are from or not, humans love the familiarity of meeting other humans who are from the same place.

My favorite incident in the past week of meeting a Baltimorean was, at the book fest.  The author lives in Albuquerque now.  She didn't even have to speak 3 syllables for me to say: "YOU'RE FROM BALTIMORE!"

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

reggie watts

"I'm glad u look at bugs!"

It's a shame I haven't been able to get to a park in more then 2 years.  But, I am a nature lover and nature is everywhere.  Last week I discovered an urban spot in Mountain Town that has a collection of bright red tiny beatles, fluorescent.

this morning I found a lizard on my property.

(btw I photograph these things when possible)

and last week I found an active ant hill in my parking lot.

So, like a kid when I found the bugs I said to a passerby:  "Look at these beautiful bugs"  She said "they sure are beautiful.  they are beatles and:

"I'm glad you look at bugs!"

"I want my mtv"

sultans of swing

"duran duran"


"Part 2 At the Naturopath/Society has gone to the dogs"

However, I would not learn until 97, that I had fibromyalgia.  I told her that

in 2000 a deer tick transferred from my roommate's dog to me and I contracted lyme.

-I tell the nurse at the low income clinic about my bulls eye rash and she says: "Oh, just ignore it, it will go away

-from 2000 to 2003 I perform work as

teacher's aide
Spanish teacher

but by 2000 the fatigue is so severe I can barely function.  By 02 I can't hold a job anymore.

spring 03 my friend pays for me to see lyme specialist.

I tell the naturopath that the Lyme doc gave me 4 weeks of antibiotics.


me-"I do indeed have all of the symptoms of lyme."

She approves me for med pot but says that I need to hurry up and go the the dispensary TODAY, BECAUSE IT IS CLOSING TODAY!"

(I'm not happy to hear this because it is so hard for me to get around on the busses and this is too much to do in one day)

 I explained that I have 2 take 2 busses and then walk almost a mile.

She said, "Let my secretary drive you"

In the secretary's truck is a full ash tray and a seat filled with dog fur.  I spent 3 minutes trying to clean the seat.

She said that "Everyone I know smokes pot and they don't even have medical issues"  "I was in pain for 20 years and I thought to myself, this is nothing that a .69 bullet won't put an end to!"  "I am one of the original hippies and I have fought for legalization for more then 20 years!"

(she's terrific but not much of a listener)

Part 3 is coming soon

"At the Naturopath/society has gone to the dogs"

Part 1

I go get a bagel at Bagelo*  There are 2 dogs in the store and one is on one of those 32 foot leashes and jumps on me.  I said to the owner "you have got to be kidding me"  (I know this is a health dept. violation and is the fault of the owners of the store rather then the fault of the customers)

As always I was very early even though I was given incorrect directions.  I had 2 take 2 busses then walk on the highway with no sidewalks for about 2 blocks.  I was told to go to the building between 123 elm and 129 elm.

I did that and there was a 2 story building with about 1000 entrances.  I tried to open a couple of the doors to see if anybody knows anything but those businesses were closed.  I asked another business and they told me to go 2 doors down (which was wrong) I asked another business and they told me to go up the stairs (which was wrong)

I called the 1800# to get the directions again.  The secretary said she can't give directions because she doesn't even live in Mountain Town.

I see a customer in a car and luckily she knew where the building was.  I get to the building and realized I had been there before to approach another business.

I hear soft music as if someone might be getting a massage.  I am disappointed to see dog fur all over the rug in the wait room, and I wonder how that happened.

The receptionist is 65 and is I believe inappropriately dressed with a loose hippie shirt open buttons and her entire cleavage visible to the sighted public.

She is very kind and warm and offers me water.

In no time I am in with the naturopath.  She is considered the best in Mountain Town.  She asked how she could help me and asked for a life long medical hx.  Since I record every thing in my journals, I have all the dates memorized.

I tell her that I have abuse in my past that would likely rival anything she has ever heard in her practice.  I tell her I had chronic resp. issues as a kid since I lived at home for 24 years and "dad' was a chain smoker.

I tell her that I essentially stopped sleeping when my parents lost their house in 1975.

And that in 84, my boss told me I look very unhealthy.

In 88 that my partner said to me: "God girl, I barely touched you, how could that hurt?"  (At this point I am pretty certain I have chronic fatigue syndrome.)

"Accessibility issues for the disabled/handicapped"

I noticed that many times in Mountain Town, even if there is a square button indicating an automatic door opener they don't even work.

When I was at the book festival, I felt that the venue sucked for a variety of reasons.  I will first touch on the reasons that affected me as a disabled woman.  In the auditorium, there was a staircase where there were absolutely no bannisters.  I was very worried i'd just fall to my death!

I wanted to sit in the front row for 2 events.  If I were in a wheelchair that would have not been a possibility.  The only way I could access the front row was to go to the side door of the building.  Walk outside, and walk down a circuitous handicapped ramp.  Then walk 1/4 block to an open door that was blocked by a rock.  No one else entered that way, they entered the ampitheatre by walking up a big staircase.

If you were in the lobby area where the vendors were, you would have to disrupt whatever is going on in the auditorium if you need a bathroom, and open a large door, then walk across the auditorium to the bathroom.  If however you are in front row and you need a bathroom, you have to go back outside, walk to the handicapped ramp, take that to side entrance, then walk through the large door into the auditorium!

The lobby area was poorly lit and this is a book fest.  Nonetheless I had a nice time and will blog about it in another piece.


So, I just walked in to the library.  the woman in front of me in line was wise enough to request the book "The Glass Castle"

Now, I know that those of you who have been with my blog for a while have heard this before.  But just this morning, I was trying to come up with a combination of 4 books that would help me give folks an idea of what my memoir will be like. 

Running with Scissors
The Glass Castle
My Stolen Life
Homeless Joe (which may be out of print)

these are all non fiction.

Friday, May 17, 2013

rio by duran duran

love the old school telephones!

hungry like the wolf

I have always loved this song. amazing video as well

canned heat going up the country

so I asked my rainbow friends to play something I know. this is what they chose!

"Rainbow People/This is what makes life rich!"

Yesterday, I met 4 street performers who were in an impromptu band of sorts.  They had, I'm convinced what was probably the happiest dog on the planet as well.   These young people were all in their early 20's.

their instruments were

2 guitars
a flute

they had gorgeous singing voices!

In addition to the music being so beautiful, this little pup just kind of stole the show, sprawled in the sun  in front of the accordion!  Nearly every passerby, smiled.

One just dropped out of mica college in Baltimore, one grew up in Baltimore, one from Florida and I'm not sure about the other.

The 2 sisters just dropped out of college deciding that you can learn much more about life by travelling.

I said to them "This stuff, this is what makes life rich!"

They kissed every step

They kissed every step I had the great honor of meeting Ms. martin and her husband as well as to hear her speak of her experiences with holocaust. She says she has had a very hard life, but it sounds like she is doing very well. She is proud that she has been in every corner of the world. She says she's a fighter. I was in front row and she touched me affectionately on the shoulder on more then one occasion. I think for this reading I may have been the only attendee with Jewish roots. I told her I am Elana Snyder. She said: "Ahhhh yes, SCHNEIDER!" At this point her husband waved her over to sign books saying : "Get over here and get to work!"

mellencamp i fight authority

life is a never ending fight especially for the poor. I've heard this song twice in the last week, so here goes!

"May i share your table please"

I needed an outdoor table for just 5 minutes.  The young man was so warm and amazing and said of course you can share my table!

We talked for maybe 20 minutes and in that time I found out that he is a cinema and film major.  I told him that nothing else matters to me but that my story get told.

I told him a little about it and he said: "May I make a documentary of your life?!"

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Uploaded videos (playlist)


REO Speedwagon - Roll with the changes (live) video

Taco - Puttin' On the Ritz (Original Uncensored 1982 Version) [HQ]

New York Stories - Taxicab Confessions - Part 5

I've got to say this. I am a very discreet person. I am extremely careful what i say on a public bus, in a taxi etc. But strangers confide in me often, and i wonder y they want me to know this much? I also wonder every day, how bus passengers can do and say the things they do and loudly! in front of god know's who.

I don't find this show to be shocking at all. I see people behave this way every day and wonder where their discretion is!

Kiss - Lick It Up

"Wal-blue, your local alcohol dispensary"

So, a week after Wal-blue big named pharmacy center opened, an article appeared in our local paper.

The crux of the article was that "Yes, it may be true that Wal-blue will be selling alcohol in a neighborhood with a huge alcoholism problem, but we are committed to not contributing to the community problem"

To me the article did sound sincere, and i felt convinced that Wal-blue truly does not want to add to the community's problem.

Now, I have only been in there twice.  The first time for maybe 15 minutes.

But yesterday, i went in there and tried to convince the manager that she should allow me to do an even trade on a pair of sunglasses i have where, if you drop them and a lens pops out, the lens won't go back in again.

She didn't really want to do it, but i convinced her it was a good idea.  So, i'm not in that store 15 minutes, when a clerk runs over to the mgr and says: "Judy!  a man just swiped a bottle of our alcohol and ran out of the store!  I already called the cops!"

So, i'm thinking boy is this ironic.  I have only been in the store less then 1/2 hour total in the 2 visits, and one of the visits there was a burglary.  This sort of thing must be happening constantly.

I told the clerk i was sorry to hear this is happening.  She said that they have security bars on the alcohol but to no avail.

I'm torn on this issue.  What do you think, readers?  Should Wal-Blue just not sell the alcohol at all?  I'm not sure what the answer is.  Is it Wal-Blue's fault that addicts are so addicted they will do anything to get their fix?

"Can't you JUST TAKE THE BUS?!"

God forbid, you an American, should ever admit that you need help from another human being for ANYTHING!

It is very rare for me to ask for a ride.  But busses are grueling and it is not uncommon for me to spend up to 5 hours a day in transit.

Today, i asked for help with just a one way trip home from an event tonight..  Woman 1 said: "Aren't there busses?  can't u JUST TAKE THE BUS?!"

I replied:  "The point is not whether or not there is public transportation.  The point is that it is gruelingly complicated, they don't run late, and women in Mountain Town should not be out after dark alone!"

She said, "I had no idea, i have never been on the busses!"

Another woman chimed in and said "Elana is absolutely right.  this is no town for a woman to be out after dark!"

So, they are going to try to get me a ride somehow, home from tonight's event.

Monday, May 13, 2013

KISS - Unmasking on MTV (1983)

KISS - "ABC In Concert" Dick Clark - UNCUT 1974 (Nothin' To Lose, Fireho...

KISS feat Adam Lambert LIVE IDOL HQ

Starting Over With Nothing: A Documentary on Homeless Families

very very powerful

Big Sky Documentary Festival Trailer

"Going Nowhere"

One native man on the bus yesterday asked another native man:

"Where are you going?"

response: (he made a circular motion with his finger)

I couldn't help but to giggle knowingly-most of the poor in this town feel like they are going in circles/going nowhere.

"barking dog ordinance"

So, i made a recording of the dog next door that barks/cries about 12 hours a day.  I cannot use my kitchen or living room because i can't stand the noise.

When i told the bldg. owner she said, "well, i don't understnad why nobody else complained but i can clearly hear on your recording how loud this is"

(why does it matter whether or not anyone else complained , i think to myself)

So, i know from past experience that this problem could go on indefinitely.  But i will just take life one hour at a time.

"Myth, if you are poor you need a couselor"

My stress is still at heart attack levels.  I told you i am essentially owned by my landlord, and a slave to public transportation.

As a condition of being housed i am required to get counseling.  The counselor would need to accept medicare or medicaide AND be on a bus line.

Now, having a counselor in and of itself is not the issue.  The issue is that I have this protocol that iam supposed to be following to "have a better life"


I want my focus to be on pain management and exploring this potential cancer issue, but no, I have to do things in the order that these agencies are asking me to.

I explained this situation to a counselor on the phone and she said it was ludicrous and she can't even imagine having to do things in that order.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Ol' Man River - Paul Robeson


Dolly Parton - Swing Low Sweet Chariot

"At the mall"

Today is only the second time i've been in a mall in more then 2 years.  It was like most malls;   an overwhelming assault to the senses.

The entire mall smelled stale, of course there are no windows to open and it is probably illegal for them to keep the main doors open to air the place out!

I saw a store called "new york hots"  I asked the girl if this is the type of restaurant that ruins every dish by adding jalapenos?!  Her response was to give me the history of the store, the owners and the entire menue, as well as to say, "No it's only hot if you want it to be"

I found a seat in the food court, and immediately a man started pacing back and forth past my table talking loudly on his cell,  I moved my seat 2x.

I got my food and there were 2 custodians working right next to me, sweeping, changing out trash cans, washing down the same clean table over and over.  The one custodian was revolting to look at, as he hadn't washed his hair in months.  Gross.

I went to subway to get a cookie.  In the second that i was deciding, the manic loud salesman said "do you want macadamia nut?!"

"No, i want choc. chip"

"Do you want tea with that?"


I went into bath and body works to try on a sample.  I told them i wasn't planning on buying anything.  I told the salesperson that i thought B and B works  is "marketing genius!."  It is one of the most beautiful stores you ever laid eyes on.  She smiled and agreed that "the eye is drawn in from every direction"  Of course the music was very loud and that however is always a mistake in my book.

I put on a lotion then made them guess what it is.  They both guessed wrong!

I tried going in other stores, but never lasted long because of the deafening music.

I went into payless and I said to the ladies:  "I have an intellectual challenge for you!"  The one lady was older with a strong foreign accent, and the other was college age.

I asked "If you needed a good shoe, would you have to go to a name brand place like NIKE?  Is there really a big quality difference between payless and the expensive name brand places?

the young one shouted out "The difference is that our shoes are all a product of sweatshops!"  (needless to say, i love this girl!) "She embarassingly put her hand over her mouth, perhaps worried what the older lady would say.  But the older lady didn't even hear it!

The young girl turned out to be very good at what she does, (and i told her so) she recommended the brand "champion"

It took me forever and i told her that i hate to shop in part because my illness makes me so tired and painful to walk.

An older Nigerian customer asked me "I want your honest opinion on these shoes i'm trying on"

I said, "Well, the first word that comes to my mind is "conservative"  and i am a liberal!"  I pointed out that they don't look very supportive, so she chose something else.  She had a big smile on her face and said that "I really appreciate your honesty!"

"You will always get that from me!" I told her.

"No getting away from dogs"

I wonder if there is a society on earth where you can live free of dog barking, crying squealing, and free of loose dogs, or dogs on 12 foot leashes that jump on you, etc.

As perusual, if you want peace you are going to need a reliable car, so you can move far far away from noise or dogs, or souped up trucks that deafen you.

At my new place there is a dog next door that has a high pitch cry and bark and does this the entire time the owners are away.

In addition to that there was a small brown dog somebody tied under my bedrrom window that screamed and cried like a tortured child.  These things are against apt. rules, but i have so many other issues that need addressed first that i have not filed a complaint.

My cough is subsiding and i do not have as many migraines now that i am away from the smi roomate who smoked indoors.  (also a violation of lease)

I would still describe myself as seriously ill, the saving grace is that i can stay at home more oft if need be.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Michael Moore- The Awful Truth

SiCKO: The Movie and the Movement

Doug E. Fresh "The Slow" Live

Run-DMC Peter Piper

"I may look good, BUT"

I want my friends and my readers to have a clearer understanding of what life is like for me.  Please see:

"Attention men!"

Attention men, want a date? Then launder your damn clothes!

"What are the odds of THAT?!"

So, last night was my first time out for karaoke where i am required by my landlord to stay dry.  Normally, i will drink one to three mixed drinks in the hope that it will kill enough of the excruciating fibromyalgia pain that i can dance a little.  Now, even if i do drink, the pain is excruciating when i dance.  Going out crippled me up to the point, where i couldn't even leave the house yesterday.

But last night, it was excruciating times 100 because i have no pain mediciations at all.  Now, even when i do drink, i'm not drunk-so the only difference is more physical pain.

Last night was largely a wash out with the d.j. playing the music at particularly deafening levels and many really bad singers.  Not as friendly a crowd as usual, but did meet about 4 or 5 friendly folks, and exchanged numbers with Jeanette*

Now, what are the odds of meeting Jeanette?  Oh, about 1 in 35, 000.  Because it turns out that she is the person who is moving into the room that i just moved out of, so she "could feel me" in that i am now living under prohibition again.

I only got to do one performance but the feedback was wonderful.  Funkytown!

San Francisco Peaks, AZ Hike Part 1

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

"Everything is broken"

This has been my theme even before i started the blog, and it only gets worse.  What if, every phone call you made, every item you tried to purchase, every single thing you do every day is broken?

It is exhausting and maddening.

There is a mom and pop hardware store nearby that got great coverage in the paper.  The article claimed that they have exemplary customer service.

I went in there today to buy "earmuffs"  There were 3 customer service reps. and nobody knew where the item was.  When i finally found the item i brought it up to the desk.

I swiped my credit card. She said i swiped too soon, so swipe again.  She said it isn't working.  I handed it to her presuming she would know to type it in manually.  She tried 3x it didn't work.  She just kinda stood there with a blank look on her face.  I said "well, mary, what's the update?"  "She said "I don't know"

Her supervisor had me come over to another register and sign my name on the template.  The template was so badly scratched and obviously needed to be replaced you couldn't really even see TO sign your name.  It didn't work.

I said to her it's all scratched up.  She said "Yeah people think they need to use alot of pressure"  I replied "well, i can see why they would think that, as my signature didn't take"

"Try it again, but this time, write it in the box!"

I do, it finally works. All this just to purchase one item!  Exhausting!

documentary on living in poverty in u.s.

I tried like the dickens to watch this on line or to buy the dvd but to no avail, at least not yet.  nonetheless, i can't wait, and i also can't wait to share the link to the website owned by the Gantz brothers who made the documentary, on poverty in portland oregon.

CSNY - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Down By The River (Big Sur, CA 1969)

y wasn't i invited?! ;)

"Teach your children well"

The overt and sometimes covert abuse and neglect really blow my mind.  It is not uncommon in Mt. Town for a.m. temperatures to be in the thirties!  I can't tell you how many children are being sent off to school with just a t-shirt, not even a light jacket!  Would you call the authorities?  What's the point?  This neglect is so common that there aren't enough cps workers to address the issue.

Now this next point isn't on abuse per se.  But i have to say this.  When i see a group of kids under 18 boarding the bus i feel dread.  I'll tell ya, no kid of mine would be behaving like these kids do on the bus.

Within 5 minutes of a group of 11 year olds boarding the bus today, they were physically wrestling and threw THE GIRL! on the floor!

I told them that if they keep acting crazy i'm goin to tell the bus driver.

I'm speechless.

Monday, May 6, 2013

TRIUMPH - Magic Power (Live in HALIFAX)

Triumph - Fight the GOOD Fight

AMERICAN WINTER, HBO Documentary Filmmakers Joe and Harry Gantz

interesting because just a few days ago our local paper said that more then 1 out of 2 mountain town kids is poor. and in this interview the brothers explain that more then one out of two americans are poor.

American Winter - Documentary Trailer (8/27/12)

Saturday, May 4, 2013

"That homeless man"

There is a homeless guy that i want to help.  I am looking into whether or not he has a criminal history. If he does not, i want to help him.  He has an angry veneer which does not worry me.  He has every right to be angry-I'm angry too.

I hope i can help him.  I plan to tell him as a predecessor: "There are folks in this town who care about you, and i am one of them.

"Cancer symptoms again"

It will be a few weeks before i know whether it is cancer or not.  Scared?  No.  Life is what scares me, not death.

I would have to say without a doubt, that my philosophy of life since 94 is that quality is what matters, not quantity, and i sure don't have the quality.

That being said, my first thoughts were "just keep me comfortable, because i'm not going to do chemo.  I have been through enough"

I will let you know after i find out whether it is cancer or not.  Is it any wonder if i did?  with the life i have had?

uncle and aunt died young from cancer.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Uploaded videos (playlist)

"Catch 22"

Not owning a car is a grueling, miserable existence.  Because i spend 5 hours a day transferring ,riding, walking and waiting.  I have to suck in second hand smoke at all the bus stops, and even if it is a pretty day the a/c on the bus will be set like a freezer.  I have to make sure the drunks don't f ollow me.

In Maryland, on the other hand, the road rage was so serious, it was terrifying to drive.

Manhattan would be a b#$%^ of a place to be without a car.  It is not pedestrian friendly and you would have to do alot of walking.  Walking is painful for me and this illness leaves me very weak.

I do not know what the answer is.  Certainly if i had the means i would get a car.............................

YouTube Mix (playlist)

Salt-n-Pepa - Whatta Man ft. En Vogue (HQ Video)

never a boring moment with salt n pepa!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

"Weak stomach? don't read this"

I stayed at the shelter last week.  I told one of the residents that i threw up the dinner.  He said, most of the guys throw it up.  Shelter food is not fit for human consumption, he went on to say.

"Conditions at current subsidized apt."

So, there are a myriad of rules.  The only way the landlord would offer a subsidized apt. to me is if i agreee to be randomly drug tested!  I have no history of drug use.  they will also be testing me for alcohol.

Now, they claim that they will not enter without 24 to 48 hour notice.  But if they want to come to my apt.  at any time, i am forced to let them in.

This is degrading.  But i just researched the internet and it said that "if you agreed to it in the lease, they can do whatever they want"

So, the only reason i agree to live as if i were on probation is because it beats being on the streets.  I feel like my soul is owned, i feel like a slave, a prisoner.

Alanis Morissette - Ironic (Video)

"A book called Seven"

There is a lady on the bus who wears a gold cross around her neck, and reads the book Seven.  She loves to wear the color purple.

Just before she disembarked, she handed me a twenty dollar bill!  I said: "Why?"  but there was no response.

The next time i see her i am going to hand her a beautiful postcard.  On the back I am going to write:

"God knows your beautiful"  Graciously, Elana.

I went ahead and bought a homeless guy breakfast with the money today as well as bought myself an egg sandwich.

It really does touch my heart to live ina community now where things like this are more common.

I had dreamed for 20 years about living in intentional community but there really isn't much for poor and disabled.

In my last neighborhood it was "every man for himself"  but where i live now, a guy on the bus the other day said:  "Maam, your bag looks heavy (i was moving)  is there anything i can do to help?"

"YES! i replied boldly and emphatically!  I let him walk me most of the way home!


Life conditions are still deplorable.  I am haunted by my past and my present and scared about the future. It sucks but there really is no way out when you are both sick and poor.