Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"Empire State of Mind" Jay-Z | Alicia Keys [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

This video, song sends shivers up my spine. I really like Alicia and her bio.................

Baby Got Back video clip original Big Buts


Last night, went for the last night of qualifying for the semi finals in the karaoke singing contest. News ad was wrong, contest was closed. Nonetheless, it was a great night, the dancing even more fun then the singing. The guy that won the 500, bought shots for people (not me cuz i was late) and said "now i gotta do baby got back" I yelled "let's do it tonight!"

The crowd laughed and said DO WHAT TONIGHT?! Synchronistically about an hour later someone chose baby got back for their karaoke song, and about 5 of us got up and did our best moves. that was the highlight of the night for me-the dancing.

(I sang "Midnight at the Oasis" and "crazy" by patsy cline, which went very well too!) personally i think larger women should have been chosen for the "butts" video, you?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

8/29/11 "Just one day"

Muscles  in arms, legs very weak.

  Hands and fingers also very weak, tough to hold a pen today.  It's like hundreds of bee stings in my hands and feet, 24 hours a day/ that's the nerve damage.

  My bedroom has been filling up with cigarette smoke and gas.

  It really doesn't matter how many times I move, I end up with heavy indoor toxins. Unless one has the means to purchase a  house way out in the country there just is no way around it. Noise pollution and air pollution are a HUGE  part of life for the poor.

My roomie discovered that the source of the gas coming into my bedroom is the 70's chevy van that the neighbor backs into the parking lot under my bedroom window. Neighbor admits bad gas leak but doesn't care that he is poisoning me so refuses to move it. I will settle this and he's not going to like how I settle it.

Dogs bark all night, and the other neighbor started his construction job in the yard at 4:30 a.m.  I am losing my mind. 

 Sleeping 2 hours a night if I'm lucky.

 After more then 18 yrs of living with similar conditions I can respond in 1 of 2 ways:

 a. give up and just accept the conditions or wake up and think:

 b. THis neighbor with the van is going to be very sorry that he fucked with me!

I've come to the sad conclusion that  "peaceful conflict mediation"  rarely works with fellow urban apt. dwellers in the average poor neighborhood!

Ran into Linda* at the bus stop. She was in the bunk bed above me for almost a month at the so called Christian shelter. She's my age with Down's but insists she has no disabilities.

She theoretically has no income but has been staying at the "ex-con" inn for 8 weeks. It costs 450 a month. I asked her how she is paying for it. She said her mother and the church. She said that her mother refused to help unless she cuts off ties with the "so called fiance in prison" Linda refused, so the mother gave in and helped anyway. Linda showed me a pic. of the convict and said she is moving to CA in Dec. and they are going to live happily ever after. She said she'd be "bedding" the guy in the motel room next door if it weren't for her promise to the convict. Linda looks alot like Shrek's wife.

So, somehow, Linda finds money to send to the guy in prison. When she bumps into me she monologues me and doesn't care what I or anyone thinks about her choices. When she told me that her mother gave her the ultimatum, I said I agreed with it, but Linda just rolled right over what I said and kept talking.

Thus is the life in this small mountain town, where most are unemployed, underemployed or homeless, unless they happen to be tourists on their way to the big sites............................

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

"Nickel and Dimed" (revised version 2011)

I'm afraid I do not know how to cut and paste but m.r. sent me Ehrenreich's comments on how the nickel and dimed book of '01 really changed societal thinking on many levels, about the poor. Please check it out and comment, you will not regret it!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

"Protecting oneself from the elements"

This is truly a challenge in this bizarre climate I live in! Many people come to this state because they are under the impression that the entire state is warm, but this is a huge fallacy!

Some come to this town claiming that they love the 4 seasons. What a joke! 4 seasons?! There are 3 seasons! Wind, sun, and monsoon!

For as long as I can remember I have been the "poster child for sun protection!" I can remember, Bill and I were at a nude optional hippie fest in Australia where we were living. It was January 94, and I can still visualize this photograph of me. I've got the floppy hat, sunglasses, a long green t shirt, and a long beige skirt with my birkenstocks!

Here in this town and state I have started something new. (Well, new for me) I actually carry an umbrella all the time. This time of year we'll have for example, all in one day, 2 hours of pouring rain, then blistering hot sun for 2 hours, then more rain with the sun shining.

The parasol, keeps me from getting burned (skin cancer a big problem here), and generally keeps me a little cooler. I'm told that in parts of Florida it is very common for people to carry an umbrella as sun protection.

Additionally I have to wear a wide brimmmed hat, foundation with spf15, long sleeves, long pants, and to top it all off, if it's before 5 p.m., RUN FOR THE NEAREST SHADY SPOT!

I can't stress enough how dangerous the sun is here. With the altitude and the thin air one just can't be too careful. It's ironic how so many of us chase the sun, seek that "perfect" climate, just to find that once we get there we have to run from it!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Soul Train Line Dance to Glady's Knight & The Pips.MP4

"Daddy could swear!"

Homeless at B.S. motel/part2

I was so nauceous I had to walk the 1.5 blocks to the Walgreens and buy a scented candle and lighter. I try to then walk back to b.s. but my night vision is poor, I have to cross a busy highway and I pray I don't get hit. I feel like I should "watch my back" this is my first time out after dark since leaving MD.

Even after 2.5 hours of "Glade Hawaiin the smell disgusts me. I hope I'll be able to get some sleep despite it all. The "clean" towles are yellowed and smell bad. Even the toilet has excrement on it. there is human feces on the wall, and there are no motel refunds for any reason.

I try to cheer myself up by watching a Frank Sinatra musical on t.v. and it helps a tenny bit. Someone is calling my cell but since I have no minutes I can't answer the phone. Some support and conversation would have been nice.

I pay a strung out fellow tenant to help me with my cell phone, she's nice but can't figure out my phone. She recommends me to move to a larger city where she feels there are more options for the poor and homeless.

"looking back at 5/13/2011"

Left the deplorable conditions of the homeless shelter on approx. 4/30/11. I bounced around in different environments trying to make it on my own with 700 month. I did not succeed. One of the environs I ended up in, oddly, has the acronym, b.s.. Here is the entry from my journal.


B.S. very dangerous! I arrive 7 p.m. ; it smells horrible. I become naucious.     It's dark inside, with cinder block walls; the lamps are from the 50's and don't provide any more light then a candle would.

There is bed bug excrement, bug body parts on everything. Human hair and a dead fly on the "clean" sheets. I smell the pillows, they smell disgusting.

I take off the pillow case, someone had set fire to it and it was encrusted with dead maggots! Brought it to the manager and asked for a new room.

The new room was just as bad. All pillows had blood and urine on them and all 3 chairs in the room were encased with scum and dismembered bugs!

Monday, August 8, 2011

the sugar hill gang rapper's delight

"Wish there were some good dance clubs in this town!"

50 Cent - Candy Shop ft. Olivia

"now that' hot!"

Stevie Wonder - Living for the City

"you've got to see this one!"

50 Cent - In Da Club

"What I've been jammin' to since my birthday"


"What I'm watching, listening to"

Grandmaster Flash The Message HQ

the story of my life since 1/94

Saturday, August 6, 2011

On 7/20/11

Some time between 10 p.m. on 7/19 and noon 7/20 I fell unconscious at the dye inn. I don't know who found me Weds. morning I presume it was the landlord. I woke up around 3 in the afternoon on 7/21 in the i.c.u. and the nurse told me where I was and that I had been revived and essentially i guess brought back to life.

I was in the hospital all together for 7 days, and as you know I was also evicted the morning I "died"

So, the hospital said that they may just discharge me to the streets,, and I told them that would be a very very bad idea. So, there were a couple of people who did care and managed to get me a voucher for 7 nights in another roach motel. During that 7 day period I fought my way back into subsidized housing, I've been in there 2 days. I have a kind roomie who I've met once.

Still racked with serious illness and excruciating bod y wide muscle, nerve, joint and arthritis pain mostly 24/7. Fibromyalgia and post lyme are devastating. This is NOT an acceptable quality of life.