Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Justin Timberlake snl Epic Dating show

This is particularly hilarious for those of us baby boomers who used to watch "the dating game!" and realize that this is a parody of the original show.

President Obama visits Year Up

This is a wonderful program that warms my heart to learn about.

Ringo Starr - Photograph (2014 Grammys Performance) REVIEW

the reason I am sharing this is because my first record album had the single, photograph, on it .  I was about 8 or 9 years old when I received the album for my birthday!


The 2 seasons of Arizona?  Heaven and Hell!  (Independent lens/the state of Arizona)

Independent Lens | The State of Arizona | Trailer | PBS

GoDaddy Presents - The Florist featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme

"Spring 94, back in the unites states, lafayette, indiana"


Introduction/author's note

Arrived back in Lafayette on 5/10/94.  For one or 2 nights I stayed with my friend Carol.  I was homeless for a long time, lack of a fixed address.  By 5/11/94 I had to go to the food stamp office.

Within 2 weeks I landed a job as a telemarketer (no car so virtually nothing in the way of social work jobs)

5/21/94 (original entry)

Don't feel as lonely as I did in St. Kilda.  I think my loneliness there was enhanced by the fact that I was in such a touristy area, completely alone and penniless.  This week I saw a live concert, had lunch with my old friend Ali; but many of my old friends I can't find.

One of my social work professors as well as my boss a the social work internship in 92/93 have been pretty chilly with me.  Had a reunion with Geoff and Josette from Guru Java coffeehouse (at the Methodist church)

Margarita stood me up, I waited all evening for her.

Got hired at dial America and hit 17 sales in 5 hours.  Came to 8 dollars an hour. My throat was hurting real bad. yet the supervisor said I had more sales then anyone else working that day!  5 hours is way too long for a sales shift.  I've had it after 2.5!

5/24/94                                       12:20 a.m.

Been crying non stop knowing that I am still homeless.  Feels like everyone has deserted me.  Ali hasn't gotten back to me, even though we had plans.

This morning was my first day working clerical at the Purdue Vet Clinic.

I really hate it which is motivating to find a social work job.


I moved for the 5h time since I've been here in Lafayette, and it's only been 16 days!  Now I've moved into Mallory's house and I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable here.

(author's note 1/28/14 it brings me great joy to share this as one of my great passions is to get the story out.  On the other hand, I am not going to share too much because I know I can make real money by writing a book.)

"A synopsis of 20 years"

It is still true that practically nothing works.  What if, for 24 hours a day, absolutely nothing worked:

i.e. the road is blocked off

you ran out of gas

you were in the check out line 20 minutes you had 3 items

you have no transportation to the food pantry

your car broke down you are supposed to be at the interview today

I could go on and on and on.  Those are hypothetical examples that I feel sum up my day to day life since 94.


Here are actual examples from the last few months.

I was assigned a medical marijuana caregiver.  The caregiver is your "supplier" and he is a grower.  He stopped coming around after one month.  He doesn't answer calls.  That means 2 things:
I can't continue with the mmj due to having questions and concerns and no one to as

also it means he has been given license to grow FOR ME but is not giving me any product.


I tried a new pain mgmt. place.  Now that I have made calls to try get a new caregiver I have been told that I must stop the marijuana immediately or the pain management doctor will lose his medical license.  He will test my blood to make sure I am complying.  So now what I have to do is, I've decided to try him for a couple of months, and if in the end I think I should go back to med. marijuana I will, however, I won't be permitted to until I use up all the pain pills and let him know.

This is so typical America, typical poverty.  The minute you get one ball rolling you have to drop it almost immediately.

What's even stranger is, even though the last pain mgmt. dr. saw me for free, when I was done with this new dr. the recep. told me I owe 145 dollars!  WHAT?!  She was seething angry that I didn't have the money nor did I understand the billing.

The dog barking problem next door was never addressed

mgmt. never did the repairs in my apt.

I called for emergency dental but nobody is answer the phone.

So, no, I am not "playing the victim" but I am trying to illustrate how every single thing is grueling.

today is mild and sunny so I feel a little better but I have stopped sleeping at night it appears my meds have stopped working.

the g.i. dr. cancelled my emergency appt. because I told him I won't have the 31 dollars for another week!  Most of the time I am exhausted by life and much of the time I don't have much desire to leave the place.

because I am carless I am regularly approached by street alcoholics and beggars....................................

"January roller coaster"

This month was even more of an emotional roller coaster. N ot only was it the 20th year anniversary of the dissolution of my common law marriage, but it was also the anniversary of my first homeless experience in St. Kilda, Australia.   It is like salt in a wound to realize that despite working my ass off for 20 years with no vacations, I am still in crushing poverty and have survived the unthinkable.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

"Obsession dar desires/investigation discovery"

The kristy moore story:

I can really identify with the part of this story where the police blow her off.

Here were my thoughts about this story

I thought she was dumb for engaging her stalker in these phone calls imploring him to stop.  My thought was that she should have hit play on the tape recorder and recording every single message.  And/or keep her phone shut off all the time and then tape the messages he leaves on voice mail as evidence for the police.

I thought how dumb her husband was to buy a puppy therefore knowingly endangering another living being in this mess.

Why not drive to the police station in lieu of the mall.

I think I would have figured out pretty quickly to hone in on pizza delivery.

To her credit however, I know from personal experience that when you are in fight or flight mode clear thinking isn't likely.

She was incredibly lucky that the cops came around.

She said she doesn't know where her stalker is now that he is out of jail.  If I were here I would want to know!

Pepsi Next - Funny NEW Baby ad - TV commercial

this is genius!

Beats by Dre x Pharrell x Beats Pills "Happy" Commercial

don't know what a beat pill is but I sure dig this music!

Stop the Texts. Stop the Wrecks. "Stairs" PSA

this sh#$ is a daily struggle for me esp. since iam walking and not in a car.  these drivers are even more unlikely to notice us peds. even when we are in the walkway.  it's ridiculous and I don't know where one could live to escape it.

"20 years in and out of homeless/myth: poor people are lazy"

1/94 was when I first experienced homelessness .  That happened in Melbourne, AUS.  So, because there is nothing real interesting to share with you about what is happening currently (mostly homebound by illness)

I'd like to flashback to:

93 and 94 in Aus.

I took off from work the entire month of Aug/93 to get accustomed to Australia.  Then on sept. 1, 1993 I started working full time 40 hours a week, to see if I could get hired in  foreign country doing social work.

Here is where I applied: (strictly sharing where I applied for swrk jobs:

1. government job, crisis accommodation worker, relief
2. upper yarra and lilydale emergency accommodation program/ uniting church of Australia
3. trained early childhood worker/hawthorn early childhood centers
4.youthworker at carlton Collingwood fitzrooy district health service
5.  family worker at st luke's family care of marybourough
6. catchment youth refuge/young homeless peer educator/facilitator
7. city of northcote
8.broadmeadows youth housing project/ youth housing worker (locum)
9. student homelessness project worker
10. Williamstown tenants assoc./community development worker (tenant worker)
11. North west foster care/social worker c1.1
12. Courtney youth services
13. social security admin. social worker
14. Zelda's place collective
15.community placement worker
16.hanover welfare services
17. women's worker at sacred heart mission
18. big brothers big sisters of Melbourne social worker
19.williamstown youth housing group
20.collingwood family support worker
21. city of nunawading/youth project worker
22. telephone crisis worker/ government
23. werribee city council/young women's programme worker
24.doncaster youth resource center/youth housing tenancy admin.
25. city of Berwick/youth worker
26. Sutherland residential care worker
27. city of preston project officer human services
28. hope street refuge inc./support/ outreach worker
29. royal children's hospital/social worker grade 1
30. family support services/ manager food bank
31. interchange inner urban coordinator
32. Wesley youth services/ child case worker


Even though I had not yet been given my permission to work, I wwnated to see if I could score some interviews in the meantime.  Many of these orgs. were considerate enough to respond and some even said I was put on the shortlist.  in the end I got no interviews and shortly thereafter (1/94) fell in homelessness and was no longer able to keep up interviewing for professional positions.

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Lawrence Welk Show - New Years Show Salute to the Rose Bowl - 12-26-...

one of the only things I remember about my paternal grandmother is that she liked this show.  I was 6 when this show aired, and I saw the entire episode on cable 2 weeks ago ;)  happy new year!

Sneak Peek: Watch the First 5 Minutes of The Diamond Collar - Oprah Winf...

I love when he says "in all reality the dog rescued me".  I love this because I believe that many men who exude toughness on the outside also have a tender side too.  ;)


Dr. Phil to his guest about her fiancé:

"He's not a soul mate, he's an inmate!"

"T.V. worth watching"

I was barely aware of world events and t.v. shows from 81 to 13!  So now I am catching up on 32 years of lost t.v. watching!  I have really missed a lot and now watch shows I never saw back then:

brady bunch
full house
big bang

you name it.

I have seen many shows that I would like to tell you about and wondered if I should devote an entire post to one show, or just list the shows on one post.  Today I am going to list more then 2 months of shows that really touched me in one way or another.

www.investigationdiscovery.com/obsession dark desires about lisa and Cheryl (season premiere I think I have those first names right

www.investigationdiscovery.com/i almost got away with it  (Frankie lee bass)

It blows my mind that criminals can repeatedly break out  of jails and prisons, not all criminals are stupid, but they often do eventually get caught.

show, law and order special victims unit ( I can't find the link to the episode however)  marlee matlin plays a "suicide" doctor.  I rarely watch this show but I am a fan of marlee and I read her bio: called "i'll scream later"

www.investigationdiscovery.com/stalkedsomeoneswatching  susan zarielo's story

20/20 on investigation discovery; serial killers who target amateur models.  (that could have happened to me, because when I was 23 I went to a stranger's home for a photo shoot but he turned out to be legit)

"The lost boys/children of the compound" (about flds boys who have no family after leaving the cult)

www.historychannel.com/americas secret slang

www.pbs.org/independentlens       (the aids epidemic)

www.investigationdiscovery.com/stalkedsomeoneswatching (about tom donato)

www.investigationdiscover.com/stalkedsomeoneswatching (50 year old Deborah Roberts story)


"No drop off in readership"

So despite the fact that I haven't had anything new to share in quite a while there has been no drop off in readership, which is great!

Bought a space heater but the room still won't stay at a steady temp through the night so  all I can do I really catnap.  I mean the other thing that wakes me up is leg and arm muscle pain and limbs falling asleep, so I have to keep changing sides.

Like I said, I ignored the advice to go in to the e.r. for the g.i. problems and am still alive.

Exhaustion weakness and headaches mean that I probably have only been out of the house less about 7 days this month, roughly.  Definitely not consistently well enough to work part time.

No funds to go to warmer climate can't imagine when that will even happen.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Independent Lens | The Invisible War | Clip | PBS

please watch the entire show if you can.  if I knew someone who was about to enter military I would implore them to watch this shocking documentary

Linda Ronstadt on the Tavis Smiley show on PBS

Linda Ronstadt on the Tavis Smiley show on PBS if possible watch this whole show.  she actually did not look like a conehead and I don't know why she does here.  she is one of my fave artists


this special is worth watching!

Official Liquid-Plumr "Quickie" Urgent Clear Commercial (alt ending)

Even liquid plumr is sexualized! 

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! Bay City Rollers

So here's what's new"

I was talking with the secretary for a gastroenterologist who I met only once in summer 2011.  I described one of the chronic issues and she advised me to go to the e.r.  I won't go to the e.r. because as you can see from my posting "untold stories of the e.r." I am not going to be treated like that anymore.

The other thing is that I have severe pain in my teeth on the left upper side, sometimes excruciating.  I can't figure out what to do about it since neither my medicare nor my Medicaid cover dental.

Bought a space heater which helps but doesn't keep the room at a steady temp all night which does wake me.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"My 600 lb. life"

So I checked t his out last night and the first thing I noticed is what a pretty face that Zsalynn has.

She is an angel of a person and I do not know how she can continue to live with Garett who I think is neglectful and abusive and selfish.

Z's commitment to being a mother is impressive.  But the show said that she only has a 5% chance of long term success in staying  at a healthy weight (if she makes it at all)

How can you not root for this lovely lady?

"I missed the final episode of breaking the faith"

But I was surprised to see another new series last night: "escaping the prophet"

I am extremely impressed with flora.  Even though I have lots of therapy training; I think it would be very difficult to do the kind of work she does.  As far as I can gather she did not gain this education in college but by living in the flds and being a survivor herself.

  Lenora's son seems like such an a#$ that I don't know how she does it. 

But flora handles it with tremendous grace, describing the way boys are groomed for the priesthood starting at age 10 and they are vicious to their mothers, learning to speak in a special code language.

I encourage you to check this show out on tlc.

"Weak stomach, don't read this"

Very very weak today.  But it's a vicious cycle because the more you lay around the more you begin to develop other health issues (which I am)

So every day for the last 10 days or so I have awoken with a headache so severe that I could not leave the house until the imitrex did it's work. However, tues a.m. headache was so severe that the meds didn't work and I was viciously nauseous all day with about 8 hours of vomiting.

I think it's fair to say that I'm so sick that it makes it nearly impossible to run around to doctors.

My heater hasn't been working right and I have been using the oven to heat the house as long as I am awake.

I read yesterday that the American lung assoc. warns against it due to possible carbon monoxide poisoning.  when they mentioned nausea vomiting and headaches, I figure I better rush to wal mart to buy yet another delonghi heater rated the safest space heater on the market, and stop using the oven no matter how cold the apt. gets.

So, there you go.

Monday, January 6, 2014

largely homebound

Still seriously ill and it is getting really tough to leave the house.  Based on my past track record it seems very unlikely that the medical profession will ever lead me to a healthier body or better quality of life.

I've been trying to leave town for 3 years but I just don't have the means, even though it wouldn't take a huge amount of money for me to move.

I wish I had something interesting to share but cable t.v. is about it for excitement, for now.

I have made a few attempts at joining social groups, but my lack of car have made it nearly impossible to attend.

Friday, January 3, 2014

The Sylvers - Boogie Fever (Midnight Special 1976)

High school dance / The Sylvers.

Sesame Street Letter E

E is for Elana.  Elana is having a very hopeful day today.  A rare day that is making me feel like there is vast potential for happiness.  Which is y I am posting this playful video ;)

"Sayings I hate"

"Everything happens for a reason"  It seems everybody says this and to me it sounds so damn stupid.

It's like duh, the sky is dark because rain is coming.

He didn't eat for a month, so he died of starvation.

I mean I could go on and on regarding how dumb people sounds when they say this.

The other thing that I hear constantly which I really am sick of hearing?

"At the end of the day"

I mean, nobody is actually talking about the end of their day!

I can watch 4 hours of t.v. and hear this saying more then 5x.  aahhhhhhhh!

"Mountain town vs. Baltimore"

There are some cultural differences which I strongly dislike about this town.   I got in line at the grocery store the other day,  and not only was the elderly man writing with a check, but it appeared he was intentionally keeping everyone behind him waiting.  The real problem is the cashiers, who engage people in a way that is completely in appropriate for a cashier line/asking about the customers entire family!

I must have waited 10 minutes.  After the guy was all paid and rung up, he wouldn't move away from the debit swiper.  I told him I needed it and he said: "Why, are you in a hurry?"

I did not respond because it wasn't worth responding.  But it is completely insane to have to wait so long.  At the other cashier, the customer left to go buy something else which tied up that register.

The other thing I strongly dislike about the southwest is that  People will stand many yards away from their destination and you can't e ven tell they are in line!  When the bus (as one example) does open their door for boarding, no one even tries to get on, or the men are like "no you go first"

This feels painfully conservative.  If the man is first in line, then get on the damn bus, instead of waiting for all the females to get on.

Or, the bus will arrive and then the riders will just begin looking for their ticket or their money which is a huge time waster................................................

"Survived the holidays"

Something really crazy happened regarding my sleep.  You know how little sleep I've had since 1975.  Well, 3 nights ago, I slept about 13 hours, then the next night I slept about 13 hours.  I was completely shocked because each time I awoke around 4 p.m.  Unfortunately I awoke with a severe headache both mornings which is most likely the sinus infection; so I had to take some heavy duty headache meds.

 That's too late to leave the house on the bus because it would mean I wouldn't get home until after dark.

So, since I've been stuck home since 12/31; I made a point not to take any sleep meds last night, which insured that I would be up all night, but that it would allow me to leave the house at dawn which is actually somewhat refreshing.  I've gotten a lot done and also bumped into 2 acquaintances I hadn't seen in ages which was fun.

But now I'm exhausted!

I'm so relieved the holidays are over I have not enjoyed hearing about "everybody's joyful vacations"