Friday, August 30, 2013

"Overheard on the bus"

male turns to his friend and asks her:

"So what can a waitress pull in for tips at your restaurant"

her-"Depends on how pretty the girl is and how hot she dresses!"

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

"The Little Couple"

I really love cable.  There is something i really don't love however.  Those bloody commercials.  For example they were showing Titanic and listed a running time of 4.5 hours!  That's roughly 2 hours worth of commercials.  aahhh.  so most of the time i don't do movies for that reason.

I There are many shows i follow that i haven't blogged about yet.  I am following "The little couple"  Love this family.  What amazing people and parents.  I have seen extremely few "midgets" in my life and I'm curious how many Americans are born as dwarfs, called dwarfism.  They should say that on the show. 

Wonder if little Will , will ever want to find his bio. parents.  In the meantime this kid is incredibly lucky.  Is a bit sad about all the medical procedures he may have to go through but Will and Jen are incredible people.

I have never seen a little person at a job.  I wonder if many end up not working because of the physical limitations.  I wonder if you can go on disability because you are born with dwarfism.  Funny dad would be considered "tall" in that he is 10 inches taller then Jen!

Looks like this family has a bright future ahead.

"wHO DO you think u are?"

So, i am following the series wdytya.  last night they focused on Cindy Crawford.  All I knew is that she is a model, I don't know her age, because it's hard to tell since she got a facelift.  (it appears)

What a lucky woman to have grown up in a huge loving extended family!  It is my belief that behind nearly EVERY successful person is a loving supportive family.  I can only think of one celebrity who did it without family and that's Ice-T.

Anyway I am as surprised as she is regarding the fact that she was able to trace back more then 1k years.  wow!  descended from royalty! Distant relative to Hemingway!

The internet is a wonderful thing.  And knowing one's tree is so important.  When I was in elementary school they make you do the tree, and because you are so young, you don't realize that putting the tree of your adoptive family is not the same thing as knowing your tree!

"Overheard in restroom"

Setting:  little boy in the stall of the ladies room, while mom waits right outside the stall door.



boy-"in the next stall!"

mom-"You never ever look underneath to the next stall?"



Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"I am taking a poll on the subject of friendship"

Please write back!

What is the definition of a friend?  Can they still be a friend if you never exchanged phone numbers?

What is definition of an acquaintance?

Do some relationships fall somewhere between friend and acquaintance?

"Awesome t-shirt slogans"

This guy had a t-shirt with the Warner Brothers Logo. 

The wording was:


"Breaking Amish"/"Amish Grace" movie

Wow, talk about a shocking turn of events!  Iva could end up in jail herself for lying to police!  I guess it's no surprise that Betsy figured out a way to get even more home videos!  A three some!  It appears that Sam has/will forgive Iva and I think he should, in that, they are not married.

I can't find my notes for this episode of the show and the library is noisy so i'm having a hard time concentrating, so this is a tad short I know.


"Amish Grace"

This was very poignant for me.  I know that it is "based on a true story"  And I wonder which parts are fictitious.  I recall when the actual shooting happened I was up set for quite a while.

So amazing and beautiful when the 3 Amish men showed up at the killer's wife house to offer up love and forgiveness. 

The one disgruntled wife was the easiest for me to relate to because I can't imagine a life of submission which is what these women have to put up with. 

The one telecaster who "befriended" the wife seemed unlikely.  Would the journalist have really been allowed to offer the wife rides in her car?  Doubt that.

"God called the children home"  Yes, it makes no sense whatsoever because it makes it seems like "god" and the killer were in cahoots!  tough thing to buy. 

"We don't need a graven image" (of our late daughter) the husband said to the wife.  She replied "it would comfort me though!"  It's rather amazing that she didn't end up going to Philly but decided to stay in the Amish community after finding out that her late daughter told the killer "we'll pray 4 u!"

There was a quote in the movie that I said almost word for word back in April.  And that quote is "If you hate there is no room in your heart for love"

What I said was in regards to my observations of men and women at the shelter (I stayed one night in April)  I told one of the men in the shelter "Some of these people have so much anger in their hearts that they leave no room for anything positive or happy to come in"

And my final comment is regarding the practice of "shunning"

I believe it's the antithesis of a loving Christian life.


Saturday, August 24, 2013

march on wash. video

"2 anniversaries"

So, it's the 50th anniversary of the march on washington!


the 50'th anniversary of my washington d.c. birth (june of course)

I do not know how old i was when my adopted parents adopted me, so i do not know whether or not i still lived in d.c. when martin luther king did his "i have a dream speech"

but it is fun to for me to think about the washington d.c. parallels.


I felt rested enough on Thursday that i tried a new karaoke spot.  My initial impression of the venue was that as soon as i walked in i wanted to turn and walk out.

First i wanted to tell you that i took the bus there just to find out that it was nearly a mile and a half walk in pitch black to get there.  A seriously mentally ill man and a very drunk man, got off at my stop and didn't seem to have anywhere to go so i felt very unsafe.

I did make it o.k. after many looks over my shoulder.

The bar was very dark, my vision is poor.  The floor had many tiny steps and uneven-ness i had to hang on to walls and pillars to make sure i didnt fall.

Surprisingly, it was a country bar and i was concerned that i would only b able to sing country.  But i put it a request to do a rock song and they had it.

My first song was

"don't stop believin'"  it went over very well
"crazy" by p.cline
"first time ever i saw ur face"

and one duet.

Made a couple of new friends and as per usual it was "soul renewing" to b up on stage using my "god" given gift!  ;)

"On the subject of sleep"

I was just beginning to get restorative sleep. Got 3 good nights in a row.  But as i said before the noise level in apts is usually excruciating and this building and its environs are no exception.  I got 2 new tenants in my bldg and the weird thing is even though these are one bedroom apts there are entire families living in them.  My neighbors are awake and screaming and slamming doors all hours of the day and night.  So, like many motels whether i'm in bed or in the chair, i can hear sometimes one to 3 huge bangs per minute where all the furniture vibrates every single time somebody bangs.

So, much to my chagrin, i was up all night for this reason and do not hold any hope that i can have a normal life in this complex or any other on the planet.  (I only know of one soundproofed complex in mountain town but it has no subsidized apts.)

My eyes are very heavy but there is no point in staying at home if it's going to be too noisy to nap or think.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

T-shirt slogans

This guy's shirt had a slogan that said:


"Who do u think u are?!"

This is another show that i go out o f my way to watch. Last night was with actor producer, Chris O'Donnell.  So this is a particularly exciting episode for me because the show closes with him in Baltimore and it appears he was allowed to raise the f lag at Fort Mc Henry.

Michael Hait is a genealogist (i think) who works at t he Md. State Archives in Annapolis. Looks very familiar, perhaps i saw him around when i lived in Balto.

The search for his ancestor Mc Neir in the 1812 city directory of Baltimore city!  Good chance I'd find family in the same directory. I looked at the different street names when he was allowed to view the directory.

I believe Mc Neir fought at the Garrison at Fort Mc Henry.

So it appears O'Donnell may be on 695 because he passed the Baltimore/Towson highway sign.

Boy Historian Vince Vaise is very fired up about his job at Fort McHenry and gets much joy out of sharing what he knows about O'Donnell's lineage.

I had forgotten that the National Anthem was written in Baltimore by lawyer, Francis Scott Key based on what he witnessed at McHenry.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

"changes to you tube?"

So, it appears that there have been you tube changes that disallow us to re post to blogger.  any idea why?

hemp fest 2013

"Breaking Amish"

episode aired on 8/18

This episode was high stress to watch.  Betsy and the candles. Andrew watches and is admonished to not blow the candles out.

Devon doesn't believe in witchcraft and i think he says his mom was into it.  Do i personally blieve that Betsy is capable of placing a hex?  maybe.  Because i have wondred whether a "hex" was placed on me!

Iva calls Sam and they become instantly engaged even though I'va has been conducting herself as a single woman and has never mentioned Sam to anyone!

Betsy seems to be hypersexual.  I am really dissapointed in her behavior and it is terrifying that she wrote those messages to everyone in the house and destroyed property!  Wow!  I believe Iva who has declared that she found Betsy on top of her..

The kids told Betsy she has to give up the witchcraft but i doubt that is going to happen any faster then one could simply "give up" being Amish.  These things don't happen overnight.

I'm stunned Betsy left and wondered how much money the producers give her and whether or not she'll have to sleep outdoors.

Sam telling Iva to go to authorities is extremely wise.  Andrew fell down steps ;( and won ders if he has been hexed.  Couold be.

Betsy is in hotel who paid for it?

Wow, "thunder down under" i didn't know if this was group from Australia or what the deal was.

It worries me alot that betsy says she will run I'va's life "like iva ruined hers"

"medical marijuana"

So, i have now tried mmj in 4 different forms. It seems that the form that works " best" reduces about 1/3 of the pain. However that unfortunately comes at a high price. Makes me very sleepy. But worse is that when i went out of the house i felt like i was in a fog or in a dream.  I wasn't even sure if i was really on the bus or if it was some dream state.

As a normally clear thinking and fast on my feet kind of gal, it is not acceptable to me to feel like i 'm in a fog.

So, no mmj treatments in a.m. or afternoon-only before bed.  I am largely expected to self monitor and to figure out what works and what doesn't.

"Overheard on the bus"

"Yup, she was voted 7 years in a row most likely to:


Thursday, August 15, 2013

"Still in very poor health"

Definitely dissapointed that the mmj hasn't helped yet.  Because i am so sick, i now only leave the house for 2 to 5 hours each day as opposed to staying out all day.  The only break from suffering is basically when i'm sleeping.  I'm definitely getting more sleep then i did when i wasliving with  my seriously mentally ill roomate from 2/1 to 4/26/2013-so in that regard my qol is a little better.

This is still by no means an acceptable quality of life.

"Quote of the Day"

I was reading an article about Bobby Carlson's experience with amtrak.  it reminds me of my own adventures on public transit which you know i've been writing about for many years.  he said something in this article that made me lol.  he said:

"We'd rather eat shit covered razor blades then use the Greyhound again."

If you have been following me for a while you know that i feel exactly the same way about the greyhound!

Breaking Amish

breaking amish part 2

Samuels adventure at work reminds me a great deal of my own wild and wacky work adventures.  if one includes my temp. jobs i have easily had 200 jobs in my life.  riding in the back of a pick up and not e ven knowing where ur going!  then you aregiven ur work orders in a language u don't even know!  awful!

so typical of many work places is that they rushed him and complained he is "slow" whereas like me, he is eethical and wants to do a good job not a sloppy one which means going a little slower.

wow the minute the guys sit down at lunch he discovers that there is no amish woman there to bring him his lunch!  what he does have in common with the guys is that he is also "essentially from a foreign country just like they are!  how kind for the guy to share his lunch with samuel.

funny when samuel had to say: "i don't know spanish!"

so he gets invited to the wild party (which does look like fun) but he has no idea that south central is the bad part of l.a. 

so, i have mixed feelings about him having possibly lost his virginity.  becaUSE if he did, he likely used no condoms opening h imself up to std or to getting her pregnant.  also, losing ur virginity to a stranger as opposed to someone who loves and cares about u, well u get the idea.

It was wise, good judgement of andrew not to go to the party since he is on probation.

ahh yes devon getting stood up.  i have had that happen to me hundreds of times.  how lucky he had a backup with a beautiful woman, iva! I would have guessed that they could end up together however i have unfortunately seen the preview for this sunday and iva contacts her b/f back home.

can't wait to see the next one

Monday, August 12, 2013

"Paul Blair/dizzy hips"

Wow!  Betty White, Robin Williams and my neighbor: Paul Blair!

Did you see Paul on the Jay Leno show?  Normally I don't like the Leno show because he relies way to much on sexual material for laughs.

Paul seemed really really shy!  When he does his full shows he is anything but shy!  Funny that Betty and myself both saw him hula hoop a tractor tire in the same week!

Oh I just remembered.  he is also supposed to be on Good Morning America and I think that will be on the 14th.

You go Paul!

"Welcome to last week's blog readers"

Welcome to last weeks blog readers from all over the U.S.



and last but not least;


"Breaking Amish"

So, as this new episode begins I think to myself, WOW , Andrew is a total A-hole and very disrespectful the way he came barging into the house in L.A. deciding which bed he wanted even though the beds had already been assigned.

He's lucky the guys didn't beat the sh#$ out of him!

I was stunned that Samuel offered to go out and hang out with Andrew.

Matt can be judgemental but overall he seems to be one of the most forgiving and tolerant:  he said:

"I'll pray for Samuel and Andrew!"

Fun to watch the makeovers.  I didn't really think Betsy looked good after the makeover perhaps because she is so pale and skinny and really does look sick.

Samuel shares my views on tattoos....YUK!

It's as if these kids have moved to a foreign country.  The first time with electricity!  First time drving in a car, they did not know how to use a microwave and was not able to figure out what the dishwasher was.  wow!  Not easy!  Thank goodness they have each other.

Iva says she had been in college so she had dressed "English" in the past.  That surprised me.

The girls look stunning in their new English clothes!

Betsy says she is jealous of Iva and Devon.  I think Iva is right when she replies: "that is ur problem not my problem"

Interesting that we still do not know anything about Betsy's husband.  She requested the bedroom intended for married people, but I'm not sure why.

Sam and Lizzie should have discussed what an ultrasound is before they got there!  In the end however Samuel is excited that he is going to be an uncle.

(I have to walk to the bus and may not be able to finish this posting.  I may have to do a part 2 when I get back to the library)

Medical Marijuana

I'm definitely the sort of person who does not allow myself to get excited about ANYTHING in advance.  I was hoping the mmj would give me a more normal life.  But thus far it hasn't reduced my pain at all.  There is a chance that it is helping me sleep better but I don't really know for sure.

So, since I only get pain relief when I sleep, I am still very low functioning and can't better my life at all.

I still believe in mmj as I have for more then 20 years.

I was watching a special with Sanjay Gupta called "Weed/Special Report"

Absolutely amazing.  There is a little girl named Charlotte who (I tuned in a little late) had been catatonic for a long time with seizures.  Her and her family went from having no normal life at all to having a great life after the parents started her on mmj.  Now she talks and walks and has fun!

My jaw was dropped for much of this show.  Apparently Israel is the groundbreaking country for mmj.  The minister of health believes in it and most mmj research happens just outside of Tel Aviv.  Moshe who survived the Holocaust is in his late 70's at lives in a state run nursing home where patients are treated with pot.  They say there is no comparison to their lives before pot and after pot.

At the Sheba Medical Center there is a patient who is cancer free now that he is on pot!

The Israeli government supports pot research and have found that pot protects the brain!


My situation is that I've been assigned a "caregiver" (he is not a dr. but he is overseen by a doctor) who is my supplier! who makes recommendations on what I need and how much.  He said that I can try it in different forms and see if that makes a difference.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Pill Nation/Drugs Inc.

There are many shows on cable that I am fascinated with but the commercials are a huge time waster.

I took notes for the show "Pill Nation" A part of the series Drugs Inc.

1.9 million Americans are addicted to prescription pills.  I wonder if most of those people do the drugs because they can't cope with their life circumstances so choose to kill themselves slowly, as opposed to by suicide.

There were 13 armed robberies in 2010 at pharmacies! 

28k people a year die from pain pill abuse.

Doug injects oxycodone so he doesn't have to go through the withdrawls.  He acquired hepatitis c from sharing needles.  He lives in Portsmouth, OH and pictures a bleak future.

On the street You would pay about $90.00 for 3 thrity mg. pills.

The huge black market for pills goes beyond u.s. borders.

Tijuana has many pill hustlers who sell for cheaper then in the u.s. so americans go to mexico.  Dr's in Tijuana are very corrupt.

In Florida there was a Dr. named Larry Friedes who admits he was a f/t junkie by 2006.  He also gives away pill prescriptions.

Alex goes undercover faking a back problem at "pain management" also known as pill mills.

The Dr. did an MRI so he would have an excuse to give Alan pills.  Alex and his friends go "dr. shopping"  Alex is one of the biggest dealers and there is an epidemic in Massachusetts.

38 pill mills are eventually forced to close in FL.  Many of the pill mills are cash only!


All of this craziness is why people who really need pain relief are getting it because doctor's won't prescribe to the ones who need it the most for chronic pain.

"Dizzy Hips/Paul Blair"

My neighbor Paul Blair will be on the Jay Leno show tonight!

Also known as dizzy hips if you want to see other you tube videos about him.

"Breaking Amish"

I took notes while watching so that I would have some thoughts to share with you on this last sunday episode.

So, Samuel pushed his way into the cast's home, and then ended up just moving in.  It was alarming how he treated Lizzie, it look as if he might hurt her physically.  His initial reaction to realizing Lizzie is pregnant, was absolutist and extyreme.  I'm glad he has decided to treat her with respect now.  I'm surprised actually that they patched things up.

Amish don't interracially date so it was fun to see the girl's reactions to "touching the black guy" on the beach!

Andrew is in PUnxy (where my "family" is also) and calls himself the black sheep of his family.  He's 26 and he's being shunned.  He says he's wild and spent 30 days in the slammer.  I wondered if he knows my family but it's unlikely since my "family" aren't Amish.

Andrew wants to leave Punxsy but knows he'll never have family again.  His brother Abe has been dissing him ever since Rebecca came into the picture.  Not sure if I should buy that or not; as Abe can decide whether or not to return his brother's love.

I liked the fortune teller Zoltar; and it was interesting to see some of the cast pull back descrbing it as witchcraft.

Betsy says her life got bad after her birthmother died.  I guess there is an equivalent in my life in that "mother" and I were separated at my birth; which likely caused a certain trajectory in my life that probably cannot be reversed.

Matthew says he'll have sex when he gets married but whose to say marriage is a guarantee when close to 1/2 of Americans are unmarried.

Samuel asks the workers at "jumbo's clown room" "what is a lap dance?!"  One of the girls gave him a lap dance and he says he loved it but that they'd kill him back home!

Everyone but Matt has shunned Betsy, I guess I can see how they might be a little bit nervous around her since all they know is an extremely conservative religion.  I'm not sure what to make of the item that broke and smashed while the girls were discussing Betsy!

So Lizzie is now glad that her brother is with her in L.A.

I love the quote:

"Abe and Rebecca are notorious in the Amish community!"  This comment was spurned by Andrew just showing up at the cast's house and choosing his bedroom.  Bottom line is the men have a very patriarchal and condescending way toward women (and sometimes the men too) at least initially.

"Day 11 mmj (medical marijuana) treatment"

So, today is day 11.  On Friday through Monday I had a skull crushing headache that wasn't even remotely helped by mmj.  The last 3 days the bodywide nerve pain has been so unbearable that neither leaving the house nor staying home provide any relief.

I woke up with it today so I tried to go back to sleep because I know that will be my only respite from it.  After waking up it had subsided, so at the moment it is not as severe.

Mmj has helped so many people, and i'm told to just stick it out.  But I have already been waiting for over a decade for relief.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Mountain - Mississippi Queen

Day 4 medical marijuana

All I can really say is that I am sleeping very well.  So, in a roundabout way that equals a reduction in pain because if you are sleeping you aren't in pain.  When i'm awake I haven't noticed a reduction in pain.  However, on some days the nerve pain in my feet makes it impossible to walk normally.  Then there are other times where my feet don't hurt.

But first thing in the morning my feet barel work at all and I have to use the walls to keep my balance as the nerve damage makes it so that my feet can't hold me up!

For some portion of every day I can't closed either one of my hands into a fist.  They are just frozen.  I began noticing nerve damage symptoms in 05 and it's likely it is closely related to my being a starvation survivor.

If you are sleeping then your quality of life is higher.

I am not smoking.

"Who do you think you are"

This show is sponsored by

You can imagine how poignant this show would be for adoptees who sometimes never get to meet even their biological parents.

Of course I didn't meet mine until I turned 26.

So, a cousin on my father's side sent me my family tree for the jewish side of me.  But my birthmother (I figured out) who has completed "our" family tree search, has not shared any of the information with me.  She told the Baltimore sun that she is a geneology buff but will not tell me what she's learned.  I do know that I'm a daughter of the American REvolution and saw what quick glimpse of the relative that fought in the revolutionary war (civil?)

So, I probably enjoyed watching Trisha's search a little more then Christina Applegate.  I can relate to what trisha said about "knowing that she is strong and wondering more details about her likely strong relatives.  Incredible to see what it was like to be a prisoner of war.

The tears just streamed down my face when Applegate and her father go to Lavina Shaw's grave.  wow!  And so sweet of Cristina to tell her father how good of a job he did despite his pain

I think the more we know about our ancestry the more motivating it would be to keep carrying on.