Thursday, November 26, 2015

Lockup raw

Unusual jobs for prisoners, wow!!

Flagstaff water tastes horrific

Given that my food money is gone by about the 10th of every month, the idea that I have to start buying all of my water does not please me but I just took a little bit of water with my medication and then I had to chew gum cuz the water is so disgusting

I just accidentally learned how to upload videos to YouTube

So I figured out how to do that nearly by accident and YouTube prompted me to shrink down my video and make it smaller but I tried and I couldn't. Now it's just wait and see on whether or not they go ahead and upload my amateur video of the annual northern Arizona Pow Wow from I think it was June 2015

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Full Moon over Flagstaff

If you look through the tree you'll see the November full moon

Thanksgiving Day

2 people in my community have opened up their homes on Thanksgiving Day through But since I have been out of money since about the 10th of the month I can't go to the grocery store and buy something or prepare something to bring so I'm not going to go cuz I don't want to go empty handed

One woman whose judgment in my mind is questionable told me that a church is going to open up and have a free Thanksgiving meal Wednesday night. I didn't believe her so I check the website and it turned out that the event happened a week ago and you need to bring something.

I'm thinking that there will be at least one or two churches that will open up then have food. For those events that are set up for the so-called less fortunate I am usually not interested in socializing just go for the meal and that's pretty much it . the last real meaningful Thanksgiving I had the last Thanksgiving I had that even remotely had anything to do with family experience for 1988 so I'm pretty used to not having anything to do for the holidays since I haven't seen any of my adoptive family and since 1990

10 years ago the same thing happened a woman with questionable judgment told me about an event and gave me the address and I picked her up and took her and turned out that she's got the address wrong, I was all out of money for the month so I suggested that we eat the rice that she prepared to share. She told me that, that's her right not mine so I can't have any and that she wants to use it for another Thanksgiving party that she's going to in the evening.

Deplorable and inhumane

The combination of harsh poverty and severe disease is more than most people could withstand. I know the average person would be in the emergency room for what I'm going through today but they're simply is no point because they don't know what to do for me the nerve pain is excruciating and unbearable it's in the hands and feet but today it's the unbearable part is below the waist and down both legs. There are no medications to give me release so all I can really do is just sleep as much as I possibly can. I've had to depend on the rescue mission since about the 10th of the month for food since $0.50 a day in food stamps doesn't go very far

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Growing old in prison

Roughly a quarter of a million people age 50 and above are in prison and have been in prison for decades and are going to be there for the rest of their lives even though, they know if they let them out they're not going to commit any more crimes. This really is despicable http://narratively/stories/20-inmates-show-the-heartbreaking-reality-of-growing-old-behind-bars/

Friday, November 20, 2015

#shining a light


Poverty effects on the brain


I'll bet it's one out of two

But I've heard a different statistic I've heard that it's closer to one out of two adults living below the poverty line and 1 out of two or three children. Actually the latest statistic I heard is that one out of every two children in the state of Arizona is dependent on the Free Lunch Program!

Yes this program is saving a lot of lives https://youtube/qHBOCRCeD-8

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Documentary the decline of Western civilization

I've been obsessed with watching the first documentary in 1981. The decline of Western civilization part 1. I don't own any sort of DVD player or any Netflix or anything like that so I can't really rent a movie and watch it. That being said I'm having one heck of a time of figuring out how to watch the entire part 1 documentary for free on YouTube because they have little bits and pieces and fragments so I'm losing my mind. About a month or two months ago I saw the last half of part 3 the decline on Turner Classic Movies. I so strongly identified with the kids in the movie that I have been obsessed ever since I have not been able to stop thinking about these kids and I've been obsessed with figuring out a way to see all three documentaries that have spam it looks like they started filming in 1979 I think they stop filming roughly 1996 so I do want to see all of them but this is a definite challenge

Of any of you seen these documentaries? Feedback?


The mark Steiner show

since I'm no longer in Baltimore I will have to listen to the podcast. I am eager to hear what they have to say about Baltimore public housing.

It will really surprise me if whatever they talked about matches up with the experiences I have been sharing with you on my blog since March 2007

I lived in Baltimore City Public Health in for 4 years and I lived in subsidized housing in Carroll County Maryland for 2 years. I encourage you to listen to the show by going to the mark Steiner show and listening to the podcast. If you're actually in Baltimore you can listen to the live show tomorrow morning!

Please do post your comments to me here at my blog or at my facebook

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Oprah lived in Baltimore


People are talking with Oprah Winfrey and Richard sher

Straw bale house in pa.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Got a secret can't leave Cancun


Check it out

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Health of Baltimore means much more than just a homicide rate

Baltimore only focuses on how many people are killed. But there are many many reasons why people flee that city and now even have to flee the counties. I did not leave solely due2number of homicides, largely I left because I never felt safe and additionally as a white minority it was clear that I was hated every day that I was present in that city or on a public bus for example. All in all Baltimoreans come across as being filled with hatred

I got the distinct impression that the cops don't care about anything but homicides. they certainly never cared about any of the reports that I made and in fact never even wrote it up as a report.


Recently I made a post that said looking back at November 1996 I was talking about living on York Road Walker Mews. It should have said looking back at November 2006

#paint the world orange

So probably what I need to do is figure out a way to get my formal diagnosis because I know that I have this. It is considered to be the most painful disease and the most pain a human being could possibly go through according to the McGill Pain Scale

I also need to figure out a way to get diagnosed with burning mouth syndrome. Yes it speaks for itself doesn't it


I've been living with excruciating chronic pain for 20 plus years. It started as severe fatigue, insomnia and pain if anyone touched me; the eighties.

Starting in 93 I developed devastating back pain that I would notice upon trying to sit up in a.m. and severe feet pain when I tried to stand.  In 75 due to my environment, I never slept more then an hour a night.

I became unable to work in approximately 2002. Yes I've done a little bit of nannying since then but all in all I'm unable to hold down any sort of job.
Life gets scarier with every passing day. Over the past month the pain in my left leg below my waist is excruciating times 2000 it is really terrifying
I fired my neurologist after only meeting with him twice because of his abusive demeanor
My n.p. does not believe that I'm sick. So for the most part I suffer in silence but something is really really wrong with my left leg and I'm not sure what avenue to take . My arthritis worsens rapidly. Its highly possible that the majority of my symptoms and diseases fall under the "lyme disease umbrella" Largely, I learn about whats going on by studying on the internet. I dont have (and dont care) a llmd; Lyme literate medical dr.
And to top things off today I woke up with no feeling in my right leg completely numb.
Had to massage the leg for about 5 minutes or more before I could stand up or  walk. In one day there is easily a hundred symptoms. Every hour, day is different and worsens. The first hiur of the day is terrifying due to how excruciating the hip, back, ar, leg pain and ear pain is.

This is exciting!

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Your worst nightmare

What happened to annie.sfamily

is very similar to what happened to me but my ordeal went on for almost 8 years

Friday, November 13, 2015

Close call with local train

Is it could happen to me could happen to truly anybody. Because I'm pretty much the only person in town that does the speed limit. & I know the whole string thing real well but that didn't matter this is the 4th time that I've had a close call but this one was the most terrifying.

I feel like the city or the Department of Transportation or somebody needs to know about this extreme danger to our lives. Just as my front tire was about ready to cross over the track in the red light started flashing. I was terrified I was afraid to go forward and afraid to go backwards but I knew that I needed to go backwards the wooden barrier thing came down on the hood of my car! Just about touching the hood of my car this is definitely my closest call ever.

The zombie behind me and yes I will blog about cell phone zombies a little later on tonight, I motioned to her to go in reverse so I could get out of danger but she didn't see me motion to her because she was talking on the phone

So I kept honking the horn and I motioned again go back go back I was able to get my car to go back just far enough so that I wouldn't get killed by this oncoming train

Most people are not as cautious as I am so that being the case in the fact that everybody go so fast I'm sure there's been plenty of close calls with the train! I'll tell you that I'll get your heart racing, this is definitely not the way I want to go

Hunger and feeding programs

The Forgotten American pedestrian


I dig burgundy in autumn  ;-)

Part3 looking back at November 12th 2006

Page2 11/12/2006

Looking back at november 12th 2006

Page 1

Looking back at September 2006 in Baltimore

Sorry this post is upside down I still think that you'll get a lot out of it

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Homicide hunter

She was exactly like me

I find it particularly interesting when I learn about someone who died immediately before I was born and who in many ways was so much like me. one of those cases was Norma Jean also known as Marilyn Monroe but this post is not addressing Norma Jean

This post is addressing how much I am enjoying this particular episode of a crime to remember. They talked about her outgoing personality and the actress was the first person on the dance floor and she asked the little kids around her if they would come up and dance with her. That happened so many times with me and a little kids at the Charles Village block parties and so many other countless situations where I would ask a little kids if they would like to come up and dance with me and then that would get the party going

They went on to say that she loved coffee houses and folk music! Also just like me. No I am completely straight she was gay we were not alike in that respect but yeah our personalities well so so similar

Apparently this was a world-renowned well nationally renowned case when she was murdered and nobody in her Queens neighborhood seem to care

Monday, November 9, 2015

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Prince doubt that Michael Jackson is his biological father

Its really amazing that I noticed this on YouTube because the other day when I was watching The Jacksons next generation I was thinking to myself about how Prince does not resemble Michael in any way shape or form

So I wonder when he is going to get his siblings are also going to want a DNA test

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Billionaires tried to shut down Bernie

The movie birdcage

I only caught about a half an hour of this amazing funny very funny movie.

As many of you know I have been blogging, had blogged about Baltimore Indiana as well as Arizona buses, but mostly Baltimore.

That being said :

My favorite quote from the movie was when Robin Williams turned to his friend and yelled

I had to take the FU CK ing bus!

Friday, November 6, 2015

Life in the year 2000

Martin OMalley performance

As I rewatch the debates I've got to say that I'm Ali put on the performance of a lifetime. Very very dramatic, kind he's always had a very peaceful presents in his personality but the main takeaway for this evening for me is that he was acting. I'm not so sure I'm saying that he's dishonest cuz I think he's honest but but his interaction with Rachel was a performance! does anyone else agree with me :-)

Look at the post I made on November 4th 2007

Homeless in Baltimore 1995

Best quote Hillary Clinton

When a woman speaks out some people call it shouting

Watching live MSNBC Democratic candidates forum

I never thought I would see the day where my mayor ran for president! I think he's doing a great job I am watching live right now I am watching Rachel interview him in the Carolinas

And I think it's fascinating to hear his perspective on what he did for Baltimore while he was mayor

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Best quotes taxi driver

Taxi driver

Wednesday, November 4, 2015


Friends acquaintances associates and enemies

I am about ready to enter my 23rd year of living this way. With each passing month I've grown more and more seriously ill. I just got paid today and I did the math once I pay my mandatory bills tomorrow I will have $4 a day for a whole month for food clothes copays entertainment household items and miscellaneous. I do not know one single person I have never met another female who would be able to live this way for even a week let alone 23 years
Damn depressing and absolutely terrifying. God forbid that any sort of crisis or emergency should come up beyond the crisis of living this way

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Acdc on axstv

Who is absolutely incredible to learn about their lives from the time of their birth all the way on up, to learn that they are all brothers except for one.

This interview with AC DC is worth a watch for you classic rock lovers

Dinner at the rescue mission

I would say this is the first night that dinner was edible for me in a long time.

We had spaghetti with many different types of vegetables and tender delicious chicken. We have the option of adding Parmesan cheese which is usually not an option

There's always fruit salad and then there's always a green salad which never looks good to me because they don't provide any dressing.

And then they had a table with a bunch of expensive but free for us give away meals that are donated by Whole Foods which looked absolutely scrumptious and means that I have another four meals for free

So after horrific day yesterday of brutal struggle with $0.74 in my pocket, this was a good ending

Are you for or against daylight savings time

What this reminds me of

I would have to read through 15 years worth of journals to find the entry/ instead I'll tell you the part I recall.

One day a female Baltimore bus driver realized that a male passenger stole her purse from behind the bus seat. Upon this realization she
floored the accelerator and went off the established route! She wouldn't let any of us off and wouldn't let anyone  on either  as she chased the thief down !

She stopped the bus  , disembarked started running after the thief!

This incident occurred after 95.

Sadly 99% of my experiences involving public transit in the Baltimore region pretty much terrified me, that includes events occurring while walking to a bus stop, waiting for a bus, anything to do with the process of trying to get from point A to point B.

They must be out of their minds

I didn't bother to read it but there is actually a article on the internet entitled

Baltimore voted one of the best places to live without a car

I would like to prove that wrong please go to the April 2007 my first post on my blog and begin reading you will see post of post post after post that goes for about 15 years on my hellish existence without an automobile

Monday, November 2, 2015

Advice for men who do internet dating

In regards to you uploading photographs to your internet dating profile there are two key things you need to know

Your profile is going to be ignored if you do not upload a photograph I don't care what your excuses. If you ask if it's important to you you'll go find someone help you do it

My final comment on your internet dating profile is if you are wearing sunglasses in your photo, women are going to ignore your profile. Why? Because seeing a face is absolutely critical the eyes are the window to the soul and they tell a woman an awful lot about you

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Life In 2000/10 jobs in one year

Acdc those about to rock we salute you

May 9th 1998 part 2 welfare office

Anyhow he asked me all of the same questions that the previous case manager asked. And then he told me that since I don't have my food stamp picture ID I'm going to have to wait around until 2 p.m.! I told him that that's not going to be possible. He explained the process of how to actually redeem my food stamp card and I could barely understand what he was saying. I spent a half day there and I walked out with nothing

5 years after college graduation and I'm still on welfare!

Looking back at May 9th 1998

This post is for anyone who would like to know what it's like to have to apply for welfare at the Baltimore City Department of Social Services. I had a horrible day today

I've been off and on public assistance since 1994. Of course there are other less degrading forms of public assistance like financial aid for college. If you include that I've been on public assistance since 1986

The main experience I wish to share is my experience with being on public assistance / welfare I'm probably more educated than most applicants. you might think of a person is literate with a degree in social work that they would have an easier time applying for benefits. Au

I enter the welfare office at 2000 North Broadway at 8:30 a.m. the security guard ran me through the weapon scanner and told me that I can't bring my coffee into the building. No liquids allowed what so ever not even water. Now believe you me CSS is no palace. This is not about worry or fear that something in the welfare office is going to get dirty, but this is one of the many ways that the system controls you. Big Brother!

I go down my entire coffee in the lobby I know that would have helped quench my thirst during the what I call eternal wait

I'm sitting in the lobby and a jeweled and bespectacled guard starts to share a story that has become a routine part of the negativity that you here while you're at the welfare office. She was telling a cop stationed in her area, that she was walking behind a dope dealer who was spilling / dropping hundreds of dollars out of his pockets. She picked up the money and gave it back to the dealer. She told the police officer that there was no way she was going to turn him in because she knew that he would murder her!

So I'm thinking here is the security guard who was supposed to be protecting us and she's giving the money back to the dope dealer!

I'm put through the scanner and I have to put my briefcase on the belt as well as my keys. Somehow I forgot to put my fanny pack on the belt and I set off an alarm. She did not bother to find out why I set off the alarm perhaps because I don't fit the profile of a dangerous person

So I'm told to go upstairs to Harford Heights region and I wonder is that some fictional geographical poverty area?

I try to figure out which form to take there are no signs indicating which form is for what. I guess at which form I'm supposed to use and I feel it in. I turn it back into the front desk at approximately 8:45 a.m. I'm sitting sitting sitting and I'm observing maternal styles. All the women are African American except for one other person the women are relatively nurturing to the newborn but they don't speak to their older children. The clients are a mix of men and women and there is one Asian. All together there are about 50 clients excluding the kids

Every time I approach the desk with any sort of question I get spoken down to. The female employees are all condescending. This is the typical I'm better than those who is poor attitude

Its 10:30 a.m. already and there are women who have come in after me but they are being seen before me. covert reverse racism there is no question in my mind.

I go up and ask what is going on. They say they don't know how long I'm going to have to wait and they don't know why everyone else was seen before me! They went on to say that I'm just going to have to sit down and wait. On and they have left.

I walked to the front desk and I asked again what's going on. They said they have no idea what happen to my application they lost it. They're looking for it and I'm waiting. I'm told that I am supposed to wait for this X yet she is standing right in front of me she is standing right there at the front desk and she sees me.

She walks away from me far away for me then she screams my name out from the opposite side of the waiting room where I can barely hear her. I walked towards her and I asked her why she left me and then yelled from the other side of the room. She said I didn't know that you were Elana

As far as I'm concerned these workers have no brains or consideration its 11 a.m. and she sits me down next to her desk and looks at the computer while asking me for everything but blood my food stamp picture, my food stamp ID my income on and on and on.

The entire process took roughly 20 minutes I told her that I don't have my food stamp ID with me because I never been asked for it in the past. She said that with all the fraud going on there trying to put a stop to it

She print some long long long paper out on the computer but doesn't tell me what it is. At 11:10 a.m. she brings me back to the main waiting area and tells me to have a seat. I asked her how long I'll be waiting she said not long we're going to stop seeing people at 11:30

At this point I see if you worry. It's 11:25 a.m. no one has seen me, and they told me that they're not going to see anybody after 11:30 a.m. .

She never told me who or what it is that I'm supposed to be waiting for. I go back up to the desk at 11:25 and I ask what's going on? And why haven't I been seeing? Almost 11:30 and I was told that you stop seeing people to look at 11:30

The clerk says that's not true. She went on to tell me she has no idea how long I'm going to have to wait

The entire room has cleared out all the client who came in at the same time as I did are gone

Misses XS I can't find your application again, I know that it is 11:55 I wait feeling helpless and disempowered

She told me that she's going to page Mr gaga I said Mr who she said the person who is going to see you. 15 minutes go by no one came out

I went up to the desk again. I asked are you sure that mr. Gaga heard you page him? They said no I'm not. We don't know if he heard the page or not ICMR Gaga come out and he's on his way to lunch he's got his brown bag with him they stopped him and told him that he's going to have to see me!

He can barely speak English I struggle to understand he then asked me what is going on with those receptionist?

Welcome to the jungle