Saturday, February 28, 2015

correction to the post about migraines

blogging on a smartphone is absolutely crazy and it is very difficult to get things to appear the same way they would if you were typing.

The correction that I would like to make is that it was supposed to say from 2009 until 2011 in my one bedroom apartment in Hampstead Maryland...

enjoying the support


4 0 Years I was completely alone with this issue. I am thrilled to have discovered this organization yesterday I read all about the noisy dozen awards.

The director of the organization always gets back to me within 48 hours whenever I send him an email about anything that is on my mind regarding the way noise pollution is affecting my life. You will be surprised at how much you will learn by going to this website, this is some considered to be a problem that is causing extremely severe health problems in Americans.

migraine and sleep deprivation

   doesn't seem that I am sleeping any more than a few minutes a night. What appears to be happening is I sleep for a few minutes I'm awake for 2 hours I sleep for another 5 minutes I'm awake for a few hours again. Every night is horrific nightmares in there are more symptoms as well that I have been discussing in my facebook support groups. .i AM PTSD so I know that that is contributing to how little I sleep and the fact that the sleep with such poor quality. Of course people with fibromyalgia don't usually get more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night so there are a lot of things going on.

I found out that my insurance totally covers having a sleep study.

In a few days I have my appointment.   like a consult. They give patients the option of either just coming in and doing the sleep study right away or having an appointment first to discuss concerns or questions.

I have had a migraine every day for the lAst 2 months. It waxes and wanes in severity.  the medicine helps to a certain degree,but I just don't know what can be causing these migraines.

Obviously the fact that I sleep so little can definitely contribute, obviously when I had chainsmokers living below me that was a huge factor but they don't live down there anymore.

If I had 75 dollars I would buy  a mold test kit. in my last 2 months in my one bedroom apartment in Hampstead Maryland was when I discovered that that apartment had a very severe mold problem. One of my neighbors discovered it in her unit and little by little it was determined that most of the units had bad mold. But the owners denied the severity of the problem and did not want to spend any money on trying to get rid of it

 .i my lungs hurt my throat is sore a lot my voice is raspy so it is possible that when the maintenance man flooded my apartment by busting water heater that mold Grew, on the other hand this is a very dry climate so I just simply do not know.

But the sleep deprivation and the migraines are definitely a huge contributor to being at 80 to90% homebound.there is such unpredictability with my health that I missed 3 appointments in 3 days last week. I would love to go back to work part time but I'm going to have to start with just one day a week because I don't want to set myself up in a job where I'm constantly missing work due to illness. This is a huge advantage of going through vocational rehabilitation they already know in advance what your disabilities and limitations are.

Monday, February 23, 2015

t his is acriticallyimportant documentary lens after you pull up this website go to the show American denial. It is about every Americans denial that we have a racially and economically inequitable society. Although I know a lot about the topic I also learned an awful lot too. Independent lens is absolutely fascinating not a boring moment.

Indiana bullying law

Laws against bullying
How Do I Know if It's Morningtime? - Pajanimals -…:

Baby Boomer this blog is about everything relevant to healthy aging for Baby Boomers

new series on Investigation Discovery true crime channel called hate in America

this was very well done. The thing that surprised me the most was the enormous numbers of hate crimes against gays in Manhattan. One would not expect that in a large cultural cities such as New York City that this sort of thing would be happening. My hope in in future shows is that an issue that is never discussed in this country will be covered and that is the very real problem of black on white racism that I have referred to repeatedly on my blog. inamerica

I'm watching the one where they have invented ambulances

Top Gear Season 9 Episode 7 -- Polar Special:

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I love murals

My small town is obsessed with vanity plates

If you look closely this vanity plate is accusing you of being a sicko

Progressive Action Center northern Arizona

Where hippies congregate

Sunset over Northern Arizona

Sunset over Northern Arizona

Friday, February 20, 2015

Arizona Highways

This wonderful Arizona Highways article was written in 1961. The man states that you can't get a decent coffee anywhere in the United States except in wealthy establishments. I took a photograph of the article and then I placed a Starbucks bag on top of the article, and here is the result

huge smile on my face/seinfeld

Elaine said :look our goal should be a society with no classes! I'm only catching the last few minutes of this episode but you know you've got a problem when every single minute of the Seinfeld show remind you of your own life!

This is the episode where Jerry flies first class wHile elaine flies coach but she sneaks into first class but gets thrown out? Remember that one there isn't a minute of this that doesn't remind me of my own life, including when Kramer find someone from 20 years ago who owes him a lot of money but he can't chase him down :-)

Ain't too proud to beg

I just learned about GoFundMe one of the many ways that you can internet Panhandle. I have not been able to work for 13 years now and earning eight thousand dollars a year is by no means an acceptable quality of life.

I ain't too proud to beg because I've spent my whole life giving to others.... And even though President Obama Obama said in his speech that there should be other ways of getting rich besides being born into it, you and I both know that that just isn't the way it is in this country.

I will let you know how the campaign goes. It is absolutely remarkable that I was able to set up this account in 4 minutes. I used to have a PayPal link on my blog but I never made a penny in the link was there for years.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

My usual vision of a four by four vehicle

4 by fours you know I absolutely hate to share the road with a four by four. However this vehicle that is in front of me looks like it might will be the very first 4 by 4 truck that ever came out. Will how about that he's actually hauling something, or she that is

Becky homemaker

So here in Arizona we have the hard water stains to get all over our pots and pans. Did you know that if you soak your pots in 25% lemon juice mixed with water that you keep that overnight with a little bit of dish soap. In the morning scrub your pots and you will have no more hard water stains

hi everybody my google has been shut off for a few days

Mrs Representative hi you guys I'm on the phone right now with the representative she is helping me get my internet back up this sure is a huge learning curve I'll be back and I'll talk to you a little later

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

What Facebook is teaching me

I know about the book Bowling Alone. About the huge number of Americans who are living alone and very socially isolated. I even had a suicide hotline worker tell me that the majority of people that were calling and suicidal were saying that they were completely alone in the world. In the two and a half months that I have been on Facebook I have met well let's put the word met in quotes, thousands upon thousands of people who say that they are alone in the world. Facebook is the best way to do sociological studies on any subject that you are interested in in my opinion. I am now on about, I now belong to about 200 different groups on every subject under the Sun.

Monday, February 16, 2015

White girl bleed a lot


Sunday, February 15, 2015

Ellen's career

Ellen DeGeneres (Sexual abuse, Coming Out, Oscars):

Friday, February 13, 2015

one of the most meaningful days of my life/synchronicity

rmember I was telling you about Amanda? We had a friendship that lasted about a year back in 1975 period for variety of reasons she turned against me and became my bully. It had very very serious implications for the rest of my life.

I thought about her so often throughout my adulthood and wondered how her own children turned out.

In November I received a facebook friend request. I replied to her I'm confused you are my bully why do you want to be my friend.

In the last 10 weeks we have been writing back and forth and amazing things have happened between us. Today we talked on the phone for the first time it was filled with tears but mostly joy. I hated to hang out but I had to go to my doctors appointment. Later in the day I went and checked my p.o. Box I received a package full of photos and music and a little greeting card. Many of the photos contained pictures of her brother who committed suicide 2 years ago mostly from depression but also because of a devastating illness that he had.

Little did I know her little brother always loved me and cared a great deal for me. He bugged her through the years how did you how could you have done that to Elena why why do you treat her like that what did she do to change your mind about her?

When Amanda and I talked on the phone today she told me that her little brother Noah is looking down on us from heaven and very very happy. You can imagine this made the tears really flow, I replied I wish we could all stand in the room together and embrace.

The story gets even more amazing... I got home at 6:20 p.m. I turned on the TV and without even changing channels I saw that I had just come in the beginning of a documentary. What is the documentary called its called bully. It is approximately a 90 minute documentary about bullying and children who committed suicide because of it. The show aired on the channel and it apparently is one of the shows featured in a series entitled fortitude in a flash.

I am not certain of the internet link but I will use my best judgement and post what I think will be a useful link for you. This feels like a life changing day :-)

I promote LifeLock

Mlntel Williams is 100% right about identity theft. I promote LifeLock because I know what it's like to have your identity stolen.the people who stole my identity even signed library books out using my library card, they bought a membership to using my credit card. Ever since about 2006 there's been nothing but worried as the person who was stalking me in the real world was also involved with wreaking havoc on every area of my life including breaking into my facebook account and breaking into my blog writing his own pieces on my blog and changing my profile on my facebook. I cannot say enough hell devastating it is to have one's identity stolen. I promote

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Jim Henson Company

La-La-Lullaby - Pajanimals - The Jim Henson Compa…:

The preschool teacher in me shares a TV show with the child in you

never seen the movie Dirty Dancing?

I j.ust caught the last hour of the movie Dirty Dancing on cable TV. I was absolutely shocked none of this looks familiar. Is it really possible that I have never seen this movie from beginning to end?

So many parallels to my own life. In the beginning the family wanted baby to conform and go to Harvard and find a man who is college educated. She felt that she could do nothing right. I remember my own father giving me the silent treatment. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my parents.

When I sing and dance in the musical Hair I also danced in the aisles that was part of the show. My parents were in the audience but at the end of the show they didn't stay to congratulate me or give me flowers. They just left they never told me that I did a good job or that they enjoyed it or anything.

I look I used to look so much like they be back in the eighties same build same hAir.

It was so poignant this movie was so poignant and so amazing the dancing was so beautiful. I could not help but wonder whether baby and Patrick Swayze actually dated when they were not doing the movie. The sexual chemistry was just completely over the top. WOw


it was supposed to say I just wrote a letter to the organization called noise free America explaining my dilemma

disgusted to the core

I thought that I was being evicted. I received a note on my door from the landlord, you may remember I have to landlords the one that pays to subsidized part of my rent and then the actual property owner. The property owner gave me a letter that I thought was an eviction notice. I am more and more disgusted with every day that I have to live in an apartment and I have so little respect for this landlord for even thinking about getting rid of someone who is quiet with no animals doesn't smoke no drugs no criminal activity no overnight guests. And what was her threat? She said that I can't leave notes on peoples doors telling them to buy bark collars for their dogs. Is that legal is that legal can she really tell me what I can and cannot right? She claimed that they can make all the noise they want as long as its not before 10 p.m.. But that goes in direct violation with the city law that states that if a dog barks for more than 15 minutes straight it is a noise violation. I just wrote a letter to North America telling them about my situation. You already know that if I could afford to move to a place that had no god damn dogs I would. But I have already been told by Catholic Charities the people who subsidized mean that there is not a single complex in this entire town that is not overrun by dogs. On top of it all there are four cats for stray cats living in the stairwell and I was told by the city that they can live anywhere they choose and that I'm just going to have to deal with it. Disgusted

t_. v show love lustt or run/absolutely genius

23 y,ear old Ella, you are beautiful and you're going to be doing great things with your life, congratulations. I am waiting for the big reveal on this beautiful African American young lady who wants to be an event planner I cannot wait for the big reveal. This show is genius!

what not to wear 47 year old wanda

boy I can identify with Wanda on so many levels. She has it ingrained about being the ugly duckling I can really relate to her preferring to just blend in. I am unlike her in that I love to wear lots of pretty colors. But I am very much like her in that I am I have never been the type of girl who has attempted to attract men. If what I choose to wear happens to attract them then fine but I don't try to do anything. I I'm self conscious like her in a lot of ways, I would never intentionally try to be sexy I am uncomfortable in heels I am uncomfortable in dresses and I rarely rarely wear makeup. Even though like her I recognize that sure it would make a difference in sure it does increase your confidence. I can't wait to find the to see the final reveal! I wish I could post the particular episode but it would probably take me forever to find the exact episode to post on the my blog.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The suicide plan

Documentary | Frontline: The Suicide Plan:

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

BYUtv American ride / The Star Spangled City

so this show has won rave reviews. This man Stu is amazing and he does a great job at bringing history to life. The new episodes season 7 episode 7 is his take on Baltimore, it should be interesting to say the least. My understanding is that you can watch it on BYU TV at 5 p.m. And at 11 p.m. On Valentines Day but if you have any concerns that you will not be able to watch it on cable TV I'm certain that you will be able to find it on the internet internet somehow someway. I've learned a lot by watching his shows. The episode is going to be entitled The Star Spangled City

Turner Classic Movies

The Fallen Idol - Trailer:

This reminds me of my own childhood

Monday, February 9, 2015

two steps forward three steps behind / noise pollution

in the last 10 days there has been vast improvement in terms of that unknown banging I was telling you about. It was the factor in my not sleeping for about 3 months. Between 9 p.m. And 8 a.m. Things have quieted down enough for me to start sleeping. However a few days ago the issue with the next door neighbors dogs god knows how many animals have got over there started back up.

They started barking when I came home at 1 and they were still barking at 330 with no breaks at all. I recorded the dogs for about 40 minutes, left a note on the door telling them I'm giving them 48 hours to get bark collars for their dogs! I went on to say that if they do not comply I will be sharing the recordings with animal control/ police. you already know that I would move if I thought that moving could raise my quality of life but there literally are not any complexes that are barking free. The number of dogs in this complex is such that you feel like you're tripping over them.

part 2

t 2 he only option for me would be to completely give up my pain meds and renew my medical marijuana card. this would take a fair amount of money, as I will probably have to go back to a naturopath to get a renewed card

I don't like the idea of having to completely give up narcotics but the way the system works currently is that you can't do the medical marijuana and the Narcotics all at the same time. in many regards I would love to fire my pain management Team.

as a trial run I amon home health care but every time one of the workers callor text meStheir tone is like there is some sort of big emergency.They'll say that I didn't get back to them when I did the whole thing is just unbelievable stress. One of the nurses apparently decided they wanted to see me on Friday but I didn't even get the message until Friday at 4 p.m.. When I did text her back she claims she never got the message. So the communication the unprofessionalism just unreal. On the other hand the nurse that they're having me see the new nurse if they're having me see is a very good health care provider the issues are really that communication is so poor and it feels like they are running the show and patients don't really have virtually no se when it comes to scheduling.

If you need a therapist or counselor in this town and you only have Medicare you are most likely going to get stuck going to one of the behavioral health agencies. But they commonly stand me up you'll go to the appointment and then they won't even be there or the receptionist will say well I can't find you in the computer. It is really a mess and you can never communicate directly with a doctor or a physician's assistant you always have to go through a lot of other levels of communicating and in a lot of cases there is no guarantee that the proper person will ever get your message. I feel that these behavioral health agencies are okay for people who have severe developmental disabilities but for people like me who demand professionalism it's a mess and I am going to have to leave them again.the college has free counselors these are people largely people who were working on their MSW or their PhD in psychology. They demand that you promised them that you will not take your life / they call it keeping you safe, I call it these agencies making judgments about lives that they couldn't even begin to understand

No wonder so many people self medicate

Healthcare and the lack thereof

tSI went today to complete my nerve conduction study but it was so excruciating that I was unable to complete the testing.

 the specialist figured if he just went ahead and limited his testing to a couple of acupuncture needles that I would be okay,  but again I screamed out because it felt like he had set my leg on fire. He stressed that he is definitely not there to torture me so he went ahead and stopped the testing.

I do want to reiterate that my experiences in this particular building with physicians and text has been very positive. The clinic has even won awards for their work a lot of it is rehab and orthopaedic work.

My hope was to find out what kind of nerve damage I have and what to expect for the future. He told me to go ahead and set up a follow up with Myneurologist and the neurologist will read the test results or at least those results that the specialist was able to obtain today as well as the results from the hand and arm test that I took a couple of weeks ago.

With the exception of just a couple of specialist pretty much every other clinic and healthcare worker in my life right nowI would love to fire.

The unprofessionalism just blows my mind. It can be very difficult to verbalize it to you unless I directly read out of my journals which I especially enjoyed doing during my "looking back at" series.

I would have called the phlebotomy clinic first however when I tried to do that I got voicemail the only way you can use the phone tree is if you know the lab workers last name but none of them wear name tags. So I decided to just head over there, when I got there I was told that the phlebotomist that I need won't be back for up to two more hours because of her lunch break. I really think this woman enjoy telling me that I would have to wait hours. When I asked what time the phlebotomist will be going to lunch the following day and how long she will be out I was told she will go to lunch whenever she feels like going to lunch.

Some of my friends do not feel that my general anger at society is valid but the one friend in particular who feels this way is very sheltered from real life due to her extreme wealth.

regarding thePain management  office: they are also shockinglyunprofessional.  the MDnever meets with me they always have me meet with the nurse.  she talks about her own health her mother'S TV show preferences and her dogs health.

I was telling her about one particularly persistent health problem that is not directly related to pain management. She responded that is absolutely disgusting don't ever bring up that subject again!It was really weird the last time that I was there she told me to go ahead and do whatever I need to do in the bathroom before making a purchase that I needed to make. When I got out of the bathroom she said where did you go and I said well you told me to get my business out of the way but you you haven't made your purchase yet and I said that's because you told me to get my business out of the way. She said when you went into the bathroom you left your cash in the waiting room and I said no I didn't she said yes you did I said no I didn't my cash is right here in my back pocket C. I don't know I gotta wonder sometimes if they're all high or not

looking back at February the 9th 2004

at the time I was earning about $500 a month from Social Security income. I had managed to find a place to live for 3 months where I could barter off for rent this would theoretically mean that I would have money to get my car back on the road. But no such luck

The following is a direct account from my journal 11 years ago... "I just received a letter from Social Security disability this is unbelievable abuse. The letter states that they will be reducing my March check by $230 then they state they will be reducing my money even further by taking another $100 off the total. My understanding is that if they're going to reduce me to 230 and then reduce me again by a hundred then I'll be earning $130 a month.they are putting me in a situation where I will not be able to pay the full rent to my landlord any longer...

Friday, February 6, 2015

We're not going to get a winter

Long range forecast no winter. Its remarkable I don't think a lot of people realize this but if she goes to AccuWeather online they give you a forecast for 7 weeks into the future. That being said this is the second year in a row that we are not going to get a winter so I'm really grateful, even though I know the big picture of global warming is not going to be a pretty sight

Living with serious illnesses

WEED 2 - Cannabis Madness - Dr. Sanjay Gupta Repo…:

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Lyme disease challenge

Screenshot from my support group

Living with chronic pain

attempted breast biopsy this morning

I finally went for the biopsy on both breasts this morning , butdue to the excruciating pain upon being touched theTechSaid that the pain is only going to get worse and do I want to proceed so I said no.

I figured the only option is to just accept the death sentence of cancer so that being said the first thing out of my mouth was oh well I guess I'll just have to accept the death sentence

She said well are you open to the possibility of going in for actual surgery where they put you to sleep and I said yes I'm open to that possibility. So a doctor came in and talked to me and I told her my views and about palliative care and for some reason that made her and the tech make a :-(  face.
apparently when you say that you are interested in palliative care they assume that that means that you definitely don't want to live.

But all that means is I don't want aggressive treatment and I refuse aggressive treatment such as chemo and stuff like that

So the surgeon is going to be calling me regarding having a consUlt  about impatient surgery and I will certainly keep you informed. I asked them if a woman ever had to refuse her biopsy because of excruciating pain? She said yes about 5 percent of women are unable to go through with the procedure

Jim Parsons on Sesame Street

Parsons learns the scientific name for a spider

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Feeling lucky

I heard the song on the radio today called summer breeze. A warm breeze was coming through my living room at the time. In my mind I change the lyrics to the following global warming makes me feel fine :-)

If I had money

If I had money home shopping network & Jewelry TV station could sell me anything

Monday, February 2, 2015

Jerry Springer's new show baggage

Baggage - Baggage Minisodes: Keep Tom On His Toes:


Georgia Tann:

Sunday, February 1, 2015

under my skin

so far I've only been able to view half of the movie slash documentary. Hopefully tonight I will get to watch the rest incredibly educational. Unfortunately I also have a long long list of freaky and terrifying neurological symptoms. As you can see every single person in this documentary has a strong support system to take care of them when they are sick. Can you imagine going through what they're going through and not having anyone to take care of you that has been my situation for more than 15 years. I got diagnosed with Lyme disease in June 2000 I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1987 correction I've had it that long but the formal diagnosis came in 1997 the formal diagnosis of FM.

I am NOT being treated by a Lyme literate doctor and you heard with those folks said they've spent $100,000 even more on their treatment I only earn eight thousand dollars a year that was yeah okand lime doctors do not take insurance. So other than the 4 weeks of antibiotics and the one visit to a line Dr that my friend paid for I've been on my own. And as you heard in the documentary every single state in the Union has Lyme disease so do foreign countries

Confirmation of my brutal Lyme disease

Under Our Skin:

correction to a prior post

my post should have read: "one's  life should not have to be a constant fight"

favorite quote TV show bringing up bates

"yes will make the announcement will be having our babies at the same time and it's still hard!"