Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Someone on quora asked:

Would u play 1 round of Russian Roulette for 5 million dollars?

My response: yes.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Deadliest journeys

"In the u.s. your just living to pay bills"

deadliest Journeys on pivot TV

Baltimore public transit may have met its match. It takes 6 hours to go 40 miles in Guinea!

Sunday, August 28, 2016

I survived a tornado

That's the name of the show I'm watching.

I'm pleased to say that's one of the few things I have not had to survive! although I have seen tornadoes I have never been so close as to incur any sort of major injury or loss.

As I watch Weather Channel I'm thinking about how prior to deciding where in the United States to live over the course of the last 22 years I have always strongly considered climate.

predominantly violent . While onecan never wholly guarantee that they won't be the victim of this or that you can certainly gauge  likelihood.

  from mudslides to floods , tornadoes to earthquakes there are places in the nation where you're not nearly as likely to become a vic. But when thinking about storm sandy, who knew?!

obviously with climate change there are fewer and fewer places to run in the world


It feels like someone is hammering on the back of my hand while someone else is stabbing the back of my hand with knives while concurrently all limbs are burning and stung with bees.

Not to mention the spine pain thats had me mostly bedridden since prepping for the carpet cleaning guy who was a no show on Thursday!

Tornado alley

"The hardest thing is to try to survive when you are all alone!" Stephanie; after sending her children away to find help

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Homeless young adults documentary

Friday, August 26, 2016


I cant stand up without screaming out in pain. Degenerative disc disease

What I told my fb friends

I was the vic. Of a long series of violent crimes including torture, beteen 1994  and 2013. I was mugged in 1982. Survivor, live to tell.

The Beatles

I owned the 45 shown in this photo.

The beatles

Amazing art by the late Denise Collins

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Wings - Band On The Run (Original Video)

Count on someone else if you want it to b done wrong or not done at all

I've been preparing for weeks to get the carpet cleaned.  Its alot of very difficult very painful physical labor, as I have to get everyting i own, off of the carpet and into the kitchen and the bathroom.  Why?  Because even though I have a storage unit, nobody at the complex cleaned it out prior to me moving in and it's very large and impossivble for me to adequately clean.......

So, all that work and the carpet cleaning guy didn't show up!

Two chain smokers moved in downstairs.  Having severe chest pain, mild cough, wheezing.  I'd ask them not to smoke on their porch but, their tough girls very unfriendly, the "don't fuck with me" kinda girls!

So at urgent care they prescribed me 2 inhalers.  Cant' fill for a week, since i have 3 bucks to last 7 days......

The fact that I was able to complete the physical labor without help shocked me, since if i walk for 1/2 hour the back and feet pain is unbearable and i have to get into bed.  I applied for a job in a preschool, because I was so happy about my body surprising me.  In the email I described to the employer alot about me, like i havent had a job in 13 years.......................because as a very disabled woman they need to know the truth.

a man I didn't know gave me a beautiful compliment today that had nothing to do with my appearance.  I was so encouraged by what he said regarding his observation of me, I thought, maybe I will try to work part time.  All I've had to eat today is a bologna sandwich and crackers.  This has been my diet all week, not enough calories since ran out of money and had to put 2 dollars in the gas tank today.

8/24/1996 essentially homeless

Renting very small office in somones house. Can't bring anything I own with me.

I had lived for 2 weeks as f/t liv in nanny. They knew in advance Id b in ocean city for a few days with my friend, I decided to return early.

My boss went all through my personal belongings must hav read my journals, discovered I was politically librral. I had no car, and theres no public transit in Shadyside, Md. She fired me instantly upon my return from o.c. (It was in written contract that nobody in their fam. Smokes indoors. They broke contract, I complained, as Im severely allergic.

They bought me a one way ticket to Baltimore city at night and I Had no clue where to go. ID DO A night here a night there.

By about 8/6 Carolone and her hubby Shawn let me rent a small very dirty office. They didnt move anything out for me, I "slept" on the floor of the office.

Here is my journal entry


"Where do I start, what approach should I take? It's not too late.

Baltimore is driving me to drink!

I finally slept normally last night I was the only one home.

I was I  living room (after dark) when a rock, which I thought was a bullet, came through the window.

I screamed and instinctively dropped flat to the floor (cuz I live in a u.s. war zone)

I crawled to the landline, not unlike a snake. I called 911.  I just want some peace, waitin on the police. 

They say "We can't do nuttin, aint no crime  been proven. (They made fun of me for thinking it was a bullet)

There were no witnesses they reiterated.

No mo no mo
Just leave me alone!
I aint hurtin noone
Just chillin here at "home!"

Friday, August 19, 2016

Ill b honest to a fault

If I had a choice between a life of homelessness and poverty or getting murdered painlessly I would have rather been shot in the back and killed in February 1994 then to have had to live this kind of life. You know I am honest to a fault

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Whole Foods

The bulk

Most of the people that I meet have low to extremely low IQs.

But it's an even more common occurrence in people from one if three ethnic groups that I wont name, where the bulk are ether severely developmentally disabled or just dumb as a doorknob.

At the time that they were working on debunking racism stereotypes they determined that size of brain is identical the brains looks identical even though the ethnic groups were different;then why can't I have a conversation with anyone that it is normal. I had a more enjoyable interaction with my 7 year old friend walking home from the bus today can I do with most people. Because Levi is a really quick learner and he loves to learn.

Here in the privacy of my own home I can Google whatever I want to Google and I can type in whatever ethnic group I want to type in  by asking the Google search engine particular questions!    I want to find out whether other Americans are having similar experiences as me, or, am I exaggerating? I learned that ny perceptions are sadly and strikingly real.

I told the bus driver today that I didn't have my ID because it was temporarily missing in my apt. She charged me doubleand added on a lecture: You really need to have it with you all the time!

  I just got through telling you it's MISSING its LOST!

I have to repeat myself over and over and over again with everybody! As you can see there are some things that are going to follow me no matter where in this country I live .

They don't seem to comprehend even the tiniest of questions. A few years back I noticed that on days that I didn't have my watch if I asked couple of people throughout the day what time it was they would invariably give me the wrong time

I was trying to exchange an item for another item in a different department at Safeway.  I had to repeat the same story/phrase six different times !before the Safeway employee comprehended that I don't want to exchange it for the same exact item!

I'm wondering to  myself why does he think I would exchange it for the same exact thing that doesn't make any sense!

I think I told you this story before but I was calling a clinic a local Clinic run by one of the ethnic groups that I mentioned earlier.

I called on the phone and asked if John Smith still works there  the receptionist replied  there's no John Smith here but would you like to speak to Jon Jones ???!


Postcard collector

This week was good in some ways

I was speaking with my very dear friend Carol in Las Vegas and the conversation gave me a sense of hope that I probably haven't had it about 12 years, time will tell on whether or not I can hang onto this Outlook but it is looking like I just might be able to

Luv dem az clouds

Sunset tonight

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

When you visit me

When you visit me this is one of the places that I will be sure to take you I'll walk you all through the very colorful downtown community where you will see a cross-section of homeless, tourists, permanent and temporary residents of Flagstaff and NAU college students as well as quite a number of athletes specifically Olympian athlete who come here to train.

August is one if the best months to come, little humidity, cool temps and a stunning look at ponderosa pines with enormously tall dense fields if sunflowers.

Looking north on beaver street

70 degrees in northern az.

Listen To What The Man Said - Paul McCartney - Wings

if there were only one c.d. left on the planet I could listen to McCartney and wings 24/ for the rest of my life.  as I did when I had this music on 45, forty years ago

Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise (Official Music Video)

Top ten songs that best describe my life in a song

Simply Red - Holding Back The Years

I know I shared this before......

Simply Red - If You Don't Know Me By Now

I don't think there is a person on the planet who knows me.

"here we go again"

When you are forced to live in apartments, specific complex and unit; you have practically no control over your life.

I was just getting my sleep in order at the end of June, but I knew that if there was any more turnover at my apt. complex that everything could change overnight.  I was beginning to get six hours straight thru and more if I chose to stay in bed.  But now I'm awake around the clock for the last few weeks.  Can't pinpoint the specific units it's coming from, but it's about  4 different units.

There's no planning, no hope if I can't sleep.

Good times

"On the busses"

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Lockup raw corcoran

Rerun. I still can especially relate to this prisoner who was asked what groups does he run with he thought to himself I would run with teachers and Librarians but there aren't any here you reach down deep and you find a strength that you didn't know you had he goes on to say. I can especially relate to this man because poverty and being forced to live in subsidized housing with violence multiple times a day is exactly like being on a long prison sentence

Saturday, August 13, 2016


Cant think of a more surprising Celebrity mis match!

Friday, August 12, 2016

More amazing parallels/adopted

I just realized today that I literally have enough material in my journals to fill a whole book on my vast experiences with reverse racism.

Then, seconds later I realized my "blood rellie" published a book with racism as his central theme!


Thursday, August 11, 2016

Current photo

Shocked at who I was in summer 1986

I was just rereading these letters that I wrote to man that I was either friends with or dating. And I'm really shocked at how I thought about the world immediately before becoming an atheist.

These are letters that I never sent to these guys but I sure am glad that I have this to look back on. I did not believe in premarital sex and also apparently I wanted to take my deaf friend Mike 2 the Ernest Angley service to get his hearing back to get healed!

To say that I have changed is a huge understatement! I've been an Atheist for nearly thirty years now...

Summer 1986

Immediately preceding my becoming an atheist.


Just a couple of excerpts from the show

"If your poor, you can look forward to jail or section 8"

"Your life will be defined by:

Danger, frustration and despair"

1/2012_4/2012 no safe shelter

Home robbed and looted nearly daily until I fell homeless again on 8/15/2012.

T this August 2012 episode of homelessness that lasted for months turned out to be the best thing in the long run because it created a Avenue for me to get into my very first experience with safe subsidized housing April 2013 on the south side of Flagstaff

August 2005 to 10/2005

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

James and Paul brittners locked up abroad

Their experiences closely resemble my experiences over the last twenty three years but but my experiences with Section 8 housing in such a violent part of America Baltimore City Maryland

I have not recorded the most vicious of my experiences on this blog but I have recorded them in my written journals which I hope to be turned into a movie after I die


This is the oldest journal and everything else has been destroyed or stolen. I didn't even realize I was making these lists and pro and con list all the way back then!

And with every passing week or two I add another writer on the list of ancestors and family members! And years later I learned my bio dad was at umcp also.  this would be one of many so-called coincidences between myself and my biological family

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Saturday, August 6, 2016


Watching epi. One of andy Griffith show

2016 monsoon season

From a dry place, safe and sound inside Northern Az bedroom.


53 y.o. close up

Clearer photo

Sedona candle


Sedona is only 21 miles away and the closest I have come to it is the Sedona mug I purchased at the thrift shop and this refurbished Sedona handcrafted wood container!


Reminds me of Pennsylvania faerie festival at Spoutwood farm


Refurbished wood used in candles.

I've got about 5 dozen diseases now

How would you like it if your mouth, palate tongue and throat feel like they are on fire all of your waking hours?

Have had for 10plus years. Who needs a formal diagnosis you know it when you have it it's called burning mouth syndrome and even drinking cold drinks doesn't help even eating cold yogurt doesn't help there's a tiny bit of relief while you're sucking on ice chips but beyond that it's just they're all the time along with a horrible horrible taste in my mouth that never goes away

Now that I'm on Facebook I realize that there are millions and millions of Americans like me with invisible disability that you would never know they were seriously ill unless they told you!


The Opening Ceremonies were absolutely amazing !

I don't think I've ever seen Opening Ceremonies before. the international parade was incredulous

I have love parades since I was a little girl  (participated in a handful)

but I also love diversity !

the Real kind of diversity that is. When the U.S. says something is diverse, its code for: "there were 2 African Americans there!

it was a real treat but it the parade was also really really long !

I know it's not politically correct to follow the Olympic Games .

I like what Obama had to say about the Olympics ....if it's good enough for him it's good enough for me!

Quote of the day

"Thank you, people who sleepwalk, for following your dreams!"

(Watching for first time cuz I want to see the Jerry Seinfeld interview!)

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

What about that autobiography

The reason I now disclose so much on blog is because the very circumstances I planned on disclosing in my a/b

Were the exact circumstances that made a/b impossible

There is a long list of other ways that r avenues for 22 years of journals to live on thru bio, film and more