Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Elton John - Someone Saved My Life Tonight (solo live 1976)

Watching and listening to this made me miss playing piano for the first time in many years.  ;)

Thank you / Sly & the Family Stone LIVE ! on soul train

the guy with the white hat has the most amazing teeth and smile!  WOW!

Monday, July 29, 2013

AC/DC Highway to Hell (Rare performance with Bon Scott)


acϟdc- Girls Got Rhythm (Bon Scott's last performance 1980 HQ) -ɔpϟɔɐ

Story of Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Always someone new to meet"

2 days ago a guy in the coffee shop began talking to me.  He was with three Harley guys and they were all on their way to the annual motorcycle convention.  Their wives are going to meet them.

This guy is about my age and"

he has a phd in sexology with a ring to prove it
a chaplain

told me that he's armed so i'll be safe if the coffee shop gets robbed!  He asked me if he could "pray for me"  I said "yes, but not here"  "Prayer can't hurt so I have no problem with that but I am an atheist"

I told him I have a strong opinion about guns but that "I have no plan to share that view with 4 armed Harley guys!"


the next day, there was a woman in there with her 7 year old.  She is dressed like a hippie. She pays me the strangest compliment:

"You have such a nice small waist!"

I said nothing initially because I was processing what to say.  I eventually said: "I'm speechless but what I do know is that your a hippie like me, and hippie is a good word in my book!"

She replied that "she is indeed a hippie and has just relocated here from San Diego"  I said why mountain town our cost of living is so high.  She said it's comparable to San Diego.  I told her that it's comparable to Baltimore as well!

Ludacris + Success + Behind the Music + VH1

saw it, it was really enjoyable.  I could relate to what he said about being driven.  he said it's genetic, and that is probably true in my case as well.  he's a good guy and I think it's wonderful how devoted he is to his daughter, karma.

"Breaking Amish"

so, I have most of the names memorized.

matt (the 10 co-matt ments!)

And I think there might be another male player but can't recall the name.  is it devon?

Hmmm. like I said before, I think it's a shame that Lizzie hasn't even found herself yet and she has to worry about bringing a child into the world.  An expensive world.  But I
'm pleased the cast "stepped up to the plate" saying they will help her.  One of the guys said "i'll b there forever for you"  (in my life experience, never trust anyone who says they will do that!)


I was at Venice Beach myself for one day in may 1991.  I've also been in the Indy airport, and to Lancaster PA but I remember little about Lancaster.    I've never been in the Philly airport.

I do not like that the show gives away what's going to happen the following week on the show.  it spoils things.

That was very courageous of Betsy to go even though it may not be what her husband wants.  I'm surprised that the producer paid for Samuel to go to l.a. and he sure did act like an a hole toward his sister.  I think it's scary that she was forced to lock herself in her bedroom.

I enjoyed the crew telling Matt that they don't have to listen to his rules!

It was wonderful to see them all wade into the ocean in their traditional dress!

Curous where Shipshewana is on the map, since I also lived in Indiana.

"The last few weeks"

Only did 2 "things for fun" this month.  Much of the last few weeks has been devoted to trying to rid this place of bed bugs.  I have not seen any live ones since the second extermination but time will tell

It's been 3 weeks since J. went to jail.  Interestingly I was chatting with a guy in the coffee shop one day who it turns out is a lawyer.  .  I mentioned the case and he knows a great deal about it, he also knows that J. is "nice but not all there upstairs"  We both agreed that he needs to be behind bars.

Watched a lot of t.v. this month.  Since 7/2 it storms 2 to 5 hours every single day  Lots of flooding, lightning and thunder.  Did nearly get struck one day,  as there is little protection if u don't have a car.

I just started my medical marijuana treatment, but I see no reduction in pain whatsoever.  I did however sleep well.  I have a nearly new bed now, after 2 weeks of "sleeping" on the floor.    I'm told that it may be a while before I have any pain reduction, so I will keep u informed.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

"What's the BIGGEST diference?"

In an 8 minute period when I was walking around Mountain Town today, I got smiled at by 5 strangers.

That's is , hands down, the biggest difference between Mountain Town, Southwest U.S.A. then Baltimore MD or W. Lafayette, Indiana.

Unconditional, plain old, nice.

Pet Shop Boys - Rent

Pet Shop Boys - Suburbia

looks like it's not just u.s. that is run by dogs!

Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls

"I love cable/drugs inc."

I think it is extremely positive that there are so many true crime shows and exposes such as drugs inc.  I think there used to be so many sheltered Americans who need to know this stuff.

I really appreciate that these shows expose "the entire human being"

For example they showed that many drug dealers and growers feel that they have "absolutely no life" but can't find any gainful work for whatever reason.

They showed the cannabis farmer as a loving father of 5 kids who says he wants a "better life" for his family.

"Inside Secret America"

last night saw a special called isa.  These journalists go undercover to see how easy it would be to purchase a gun in the state of Arizona.  There are more then 1500 gun shops in  Phoenix, well more guns shops then Mc Donalds.

Sadly, Sofia* (one of the journalists) was able to buy an ak47 and a sniper gun without showing any i.d. and no background check!

She bought more guns then that, but the guy that sold her the sniper gun said to her "Now u are all ready to start ur own WAR!"

They interviewed a woman in a wheelchair who was paralyzed by a random bullet in Tuscon, while her fiancé was blinded by that same random shooting and he is now in a nursing home.

These things are very frightening.

There is one gun for ever single man woman and child in America.  The easiest way to buy guns is at gun shows and through online sites such as Craigs List.


I have been awake for goodness knows how many days.  Last night, I could feel my body spinning very fast in circles around the room.  Anytime I opened my eyes, I could see the room spinning.  No, I did not drink and nothing is different with my meds.  It is very scary.

I considered calling 911 but I have been hospitalized many times for vertigo and they can never do anything about it.  I haven't had a case of vertigo this severe in a long time.  I remember even as a child seeing my bedroom spin in circles.

So I tried to reschedule the 2nd extermination but they could not do it.  It's a lot of work on my part, and I didn't want to have to be out on busses with electrical storms and dizziness.  But no choice because I am required to be out while they "exterminate"

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Human League - Don't you want me 1982

West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys (1985)

"Anderson Cooper race and class in u.s. part 2"

So, I tuned in for just 20 minutes last night for Cooper's special on race and class.  There are 2 reasons why I did not watch the whole thing.  The panel kept interrupting each other which I find stressful.

But as soon as Michaela said that whites are priviledged and they are the dominant class and they don't know what it's like to be discriminated against due to their color, I  shut off the t.v.

If you have been following this blog for a tad, you know that I experienced much reverse racism in the many years I lived in Baltimore.  And, as a white, I was not the dominant race, in Baltimore City where I lived for many years.   She works for BET. Black Entertainment Television.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Song - I Gave My Body to Science

"Ain't THAT ironic/get me the geeks"

There is a video i want to share with you and it is so ironic that it is about how no normal human being could possibly keep up with new technologies.

For that reason i am unable to provide you with a link!

But it is the show sixty minutes

and it's called:

"get me the geeks"

and you can get to it rapidly by punching in that phrase to google!

I love the part where the guy can't figure out his remote control even though he has a masters in engineering!

"Just TRY to avoid THAT media story"

There are certain media stories that unless you climb into a hole and stay there, there is just no avoiding them.  I am not and have never been, interested in following this Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin story.

A cartoonist in a local paper apparently shares my views:  He called his cartoon:

another view

in the picture he drew there are thirty gravestones entitled: "black on black crime"

there is just one tombstone entitled: "Trayvon Martin"

I think this is a succinct way to express that ever life matters and why is the media putting all of their resources into this one life?

"For my 9 blog followers"

I encourage you to read my old posts going all the way back to when i first started this blog in 2007!  thank you!

"end homelessness"

Many organizations and agencies are removing park benches so they don't have to see the homeless.

I really liked the bench in front of the post office, I would sit and look through my mail.  Today I asked why they removed it and they said "too many homeless"

Just one more reason I am disgusted with this society.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Lynyrd Skynyrd. Free Bird. (Live) .1977. HD. 1080p

Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (Live in Houston)

"Food not bombs"

2 local Mountain Town churches are feeding the hungry once a week at the park.  These are all wonderful kids between 18 and about 25.  I told them about food not bombs but they had never heard of it.


or is it


either way, I just read a little diddy about them and was surprised that they are international as opposed to just being national.


So, I saw the premiere of B.A. last night.  What a fantastic idea it was to have a show like this!  I don't recall everybody's name yet but here's my take.

The girl who is pregnant and going to l.a.  At first she will be o.k. but what about after the show is no longer paying her living costs?  L.A. is one expensive place to be a single parent! 

Boy, it sure does take courage, the 19 yo who is married but is going without her husband.  I've made many risky moves like that in the last 20 years. 

The boys who admit they are virgins.  That really takes courage.  And another adoptee this season!  Given up by the English and adopted into the Amish. wow!

It's cool that some of these kids are from Lancaster, which is so close to my home in Baltimore.  And, that the one girl says she worked at the Maryland amish market.  Likely it was the one that I have been to a few times, I may have even seen her!

I cannot wait to see what this season brings!


Just got word!  My medical marijuana card is in the mail!

Guns n' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine (HD - Widescreen)

"Very angry and disgusted"

I am so disgusted that even though I have aggressively pursued care for my illnesses and diseases, excruciating pain and weakness, I have been waiting for years with virtually no care and no pain meds.

The medical marijuana card hasn't arrived, and what I FEEL LIKE doing is calling up the state and telling them to shove the card where the sun doesn't shine and give me my money back.  But I won't do that.

Again I am disgusted that our society has no problem with putting animals out of their misery but humans have to suffer indefinitely.  I am just disgusted beyond words with this society.


On July 2nd, someone donated me a flat screen t.v.  The complex includes about 100 channels for free in the rent.

I am completely addicted.  I'd like to challenge myself to shut off the t.v. for a week, but I don't think i'll even be able to shut it off for a day.

The other day I watched 6 hours of lock up raw.  (life inside jail and prisons)

There are 8k people locked up in Maricopa County Jail, WOW!  On that segment I saw the much hated Joe Arpaio for the first time.  It was the segment on the much hated jail food.

This really resonated with me, as I could not stand the food at

the psychiatric hospital
the mission
the adult center
the food center

Just like the prisoners half the time I can't even recognize it as food.  Despite the fact that the prisoners hate the food some smuggle it into their jeans and back to their cell!  One guy put a huge bag of spaghetti in the crotch of his jeans!

Some save up money for concessions and then "cook up" their own idea of food.  Arpaio says he intentionally wants the food to be horrible so that the prisoners won't keep coming in and out of jail.

But in my life experience, eating healthfully can make such a huge difference in your overall well being! 

Arpaio pointed out that they serve 16k meals a day in Maricopa County AZ and they cost about 18 cents a meal.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

"Only in Mountain Town!"

The other day I did self check out at the grocery store.  I did the cash back option and was supposed to receive 20 dollars.

Because the slot is so low on the machine, I didn't c it and left accidentally without the money.  What's neat is what happened next, because this would have never could have never happened in Baltimore!

The manager told me to come back (don't need a receipt!) and she will give me the twenty bucks!  ;)

"T shirt slogans"

Saw a t shirt last week that I really liked:


AC/DC-Big Balls Music Video

"Bed bugs"

In an attempt to rid my place of bed bugs I have had the washer dryer running almost non stop for the last 6 days.  You need to dry everything very thoroughly and each load takes approximately 4 hours to dry.

Yesterday was very cold and rainy and I have no car, so I stayed home and watched 8 hours of true crime on investigation discovery.  Fun

I am still "sleeping" on the floor so get very little sleep.  Needing to take the imitrex nearly every day the headaches are devastating.

"Dogs r taking over the world"

If you live in Mountain Town you can't go ANYWHERE without dogs sniffing at you or jumping on you.  You will trip over dogs everywhere.  They are in restaurants bars at the mall!  One walked into my stall in the ladies room at the mall!  These are NOT SERVICE DOGS!

It is not uncommon for me to walk in the street because dog owners have the sidewalks blocked off with the long ass leashes and 2 to 5 dogs.

Today, my voice was heard in a small way, but heard nonetheless.  There was a loose dog in front of a café.  I called non emergency police because I know it is a clear violation of the law.  The animal control guy came out and spent so much time with the owner I wondered if they were sharing family photos?!

I had to leave but he had his police car parked in the left lane of a busy one way thorofare.  He grilled the owner.  he was very soft spoken and polite yet extremely thorough.  When he asked her where the leash is she said "I forgot it because I was in a hurry"

I was pleased that so many people saw this girl being grilled because it is completely unfair that ou can't even go to a bar in this town that is not over run with dogs!

Monday, July 15, 2013

YouTube Mix (playlist)

Art imitates life and life imitates art.  I am posting ac dc because all i have been able to think about is my friend's life in jail.  what could be more fitting then some crazy countercultural acdc.  Wow, just learned how Bon died and when.  That's 2 rockers who died in my senior yr of high school.  (lennon and scott) Also, Bon lived in Sunshine, just outside of Melbourne-a town that bill and I visited when we lived in Melbourne.

"The medical marijuana"

So, i came up with the 200 needed to apply for the mmj.  2 months have passed and i still do not have my card.  The state told me that they are missing info. from the doc. but i know for a fact that the doc sent it a month ago.

What can i say?  everything is broken.

"cable is included in the rent"

I have cable tv for the first time in my life.  Probably because of what i've survived, i mostly watch true crime.  "investigation discovery" is my favorite channel.

Back to watching breaking amish, big bang theory, seinfeld and any kind of documentary.

I love locked up raw.  Because most people (i didn't know this when i lived in maryland) are a mix of good and bad and i love how this show illustrates that most prisoners have a soft side, in fact many have a very soft side.

I can't stand t he honey boo boo show.

"The bed bug extermination"

I was only given one morning to prep!  With my physical limits, i did not get everything done.  I was told to wash and dry everything i own, but the dryer takes almost 4 hours to dry one load. Although i have reported it, i'm told there is nothing that can be done unless i want to pay a repairman out of my own money.

So for the last 4 days the washer/dryer have been running constantly.  I have seen 2 dead bugs and one live one, however they are doing treatment 2 in 2 weeks.

Little itchy but nothing like before.  I insisted the 45 year old bed be disposed of.  (I hated that they put that in there in the first place)

Benn "sleeping" on the floor which means i don't sleep much.  In order to get o ff the floor i have to crawl on my knees to a chair, put my hands on the chair and hoist myself up with my arms.

Still having nearly daily "migraines" slash severe headaches but the med i was put on, i can't take because it will make me drowsy 24/7.

Friday, July 12, 2013

AC/DC - Problem Child live in 1978

AC/DC - TNT Live

Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla

"Obsessing about the guy in jail"

I have been analyzing this to death.  I told u that one of the first people to introduce himself to me, is now in jail for causing 7 mountain town fires.  I guess I should research the psychology behind arsons.

No question he is seriously mentally ill and now I'm wondering if he has ever incurred a brain injury.

When I tried to talk to him in 2011 (in person) his thoughts were very disorganized and he couldn't stay on subject.

His moods changed fast and without due cause.  He can't keep his clothes laundered and couldn't even follow through when I told him how to get a free phone.

I will go to his trial in August.  It will be a non jury trial (I assume because he was caught in the act)

No question I have more of a bond with him then I realized.  Oddly, I don't feel angry with him, because I know the good stuff about him and because I know that brain injuries and mental illness especially combined really can change a person.

He will likely be behind bars for a very long time.  I think that's good because I consider him to be a danger to society.

I "pray" that there is hope for rehabilitation.

"A very important show/OWN network"

Today I saw a riveting show on OWN.  I couldn't determine the name of the show, but after it was over they tell you to go to the website:


It is about how most media is controlled by men and women are treated like shit "at best"

It made me wonder if I should remove the music videos on my blog that are grossly sexually explicit.

It's about how the violence in the media does contribute to or even cause violence in real life.  1 out of 18 males in America is LOCKED UP!

This show might make you hate most men after u see the horrific things they say about most females in the media.

Please check out the website!

"The new place has bed bugs"

So, today and in the a.m. I have to do about 10 to 15 loads of laundry because the washer is small and I need to wash and bag everything.

"luckily" between all the burglaries and looting of the last 8 years, I own practically nothing anymore.

I was told that the exterminators will likely only exterminate the bedroom which does not make much sense to me.  Thank goodness the bed and boxspring were just thrown out, they were put in their by the landlord and I estimate them to be at least 40 years old. 

I hate to get rid of papers, documents because they help to tell my life story, but looks like i'll have to do that.

All the stuff I have been recycling will likely have to b trashed since I have no car to drive the recyclables to the plant.

I was awake for 3 days, but remarkably, I slept, even tho' it was on the floor, lying on  top of 2 comforters.

So, as per usual it has been a pretty joyless ride.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Aint That a Shame (Budokan)

Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me Live 1978 TV

"Two women and a trans-sexual"

Remember I told you that I don't brush my hair because of the arthritis, nerve damange and weakness?  Well, it turned into an awful matted mess with dreadlocks!

It took them at the "beauty school" 3 women and 2.5 hours to get the mats out and dreads out.  Was extremely painful.  Then they had no choice but to give me a very short haircut.  I am not a girly girl and hair is hair, it's not like hair brings happiness!

They school well they are very unprofessional, yet, they only charged me $14.00 even though I was so time intensive!

The person who got assigned to do my hair is 300 lb fully made up 25 year old man with long hair who is living his life has a trans-sexual.  And most certainly doesn't pass as a female at 6'2!  Very nice "lady" who used to be Bill but is now Billy Jean*  ;)


"Age 50 brings no changes/go straight to jail"

Conditions still brutal for a great deal of reasons.  I'm back to not sleeping (been awake for 48 hours)  When I do sleep I go to bed worrying and wake up worrying. I only eat once a day because I'm too distraught to eat.

Thank goodness I read the paper on Friday.  One of the first guys I met here in mountain town (week 1 here)  is J.  Movie star handsome, college educated loves his mother.  He grew up in Indiana* and he is just a little bit younger then me.

You could say I did a great deal of "street social work" for him in 2011.   Sadly, he is a really split guy.  He loves to party  loves all sorts of drugs and has very wild friends. He is a lapsed Mormon.  I kept clear boundaries with him from day 1.  I told him that if he goes into rehab I will be there for him since he wants to go back to college and other dreams as well.  I said, I can only hang with you when you are sober and you better not have any drugs on your person when your in my company!

The one crime he confessed to me (short of the drugs)  was that a man here in mountain town had attacked him so J. punched him and the guy fell back hit his head on concrete and died. (about 2 years ago)

 When I picked up the paper I was heartbroken.  He has been charged with starting a number of fires in Mountain Town.  I know he has mental illness and loves meth.

  I did not realize how much I care about him until I read about his predicament.

I decided that I was going to work up the courage to visit him in jail.  After all I know a great deal about him (and got him his only birthday present in 2011)  We got together once in 2011 for pizza, and once we went to a free movie (Jessie james life!)  my idea.

So, it takes me more then 1/2 hour of walking to find the jail yesterday.  When I get there I have to lock up my belongings and then walk to his pod ALONE!

I had a panic attack, as it was a long TERRIFYING walk.  No one accompanied me and the clerk's instructions were wrong!  Long halls with thick cement walls and NO PEOPLE!  No way to get help if you need it.  I ended up going up and down staircases fearing i'd get stuck in jail forever!

When I finally found J's pod,  his telephone was broken so we didn't even get to have our visit!  :(  I asked him if he can get an employee to resolve the problem.  He said no, there isn't anyone.

We tried yelling thru the glass but it was nearly impossible to hear because there was a girl sitting next to me doing her telephone visit.

J. begged me to tell his psychiatrist that he needs a lawyer.  yesterday was the first time I experienced what a parent must feel when their child gets into trouble.  I realized I have a strong bond with J.  (and found out he was telling everyone I am his girlfriend, that was last year) and still care a great deal about what happens to him, even tho' he did a very wrong thing. Before I left, I kissed my hand and then touched the glass.  He did the same thing and we met hands at the bulletproof glass.  I said:  "I CARE!"

so, turns out he went to court today and I'm told bond is set at 5k.  I don't know why he'd be able to get out on bond at all since he endangered people, but I do not know the nuances of the case.

I hope I don't lose track of him once he gets out of jail.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

"Generally speaking, apt. living sucks"

Facing massive challenges at the new place.  bOTH of the guys who live below me, smoke just under my window.  You know by now that just a small amt. of this allergen and I can't breathe , triggers migraines.

Dog next door squeals, barks crys for 12 hours a day so I can't sit in my living room at all.  I have tried to remedy this by reporting to management and talking to animals control but of course, nothing.

Very very stressful and it does not look like I will b able to change any of these problems.  There certainly is nowhere to run.

A Cup of Coffee

i was jus on my way 2 library when I saw this wonderful man performing an outdoor concert! saw 3 songs then it started raining so here I am! He's just 20!

Friday, July 5, 2013

REMINISCING, The Little River Band

Styx ~ Grand Illusion (Live)

"What is the best medium?"

I wonder, worry and obsess about what the best medium would b to get my story out there.  Maybe the cable chanel Investigation Discovery, maybe Nancy Grace, maybe Dateline?  I spend a great deal of mental energy and time on this because all that matters , ALL THAT MATTERS is that this violent story get told in it's entirety. 

Chicago 25 Or 6 To 4

always a lot of very personal meaning! Here's y. It's as if my adoptive parents were sitting around asking each other? "was elana born on 25 or 6/24?"

because Helen and Arnold celebrated my b day on the wrong date for the first 10 years of my life! they celebrated it on 6/25 instead of 6/24!

Chicago - Saturday In The Park (1973)

Styx - Too Much Time On My Hands

"Did nothing for independence day"

However, I was watching t.v. and low and behold I heard a fireworks show.  Went out on my porch where the entire thing was visible, I could hear the "army band" and the people cheering.  Best from far away as fireworks have always hurt my ears.

Couldn't even remember the point of the holiday until evening.  First thing I notice every holiday are sales, places closed, buses not running on schedule, so it's tough to remember what these holidays were originally supposed to mean.

"The times they are a changin'"

Mountain Town has a free paper that comes out once a week.  We have a brand new mmj dispensary.  But here's the cool part:

the ad in the paper today said: "FREE GRAM WITH FIRST PURCHASE!"

So, I showed it to the librarians and they loved it!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Common Ground Scotland Summer School

Common Ground on the Hill Veterans Initiative.mp4

this is extremely relatable to me given what I have survived as a civilian. 

Common Ground on the Hill's Fiddlers Convention, 2013

These grounds are beautiful and it is that time of year again!  Started coming here to this farm museum in about 1979.

new edition marching band. CW day 09

it's that time of the year again and you know that I LOVE A PARADE!

Monday, July 1, 2013


I will never understand the tattoo obsession.  Everyone in Mountain Town is heavily tattooed.  All I can think are 2 things:

"do u really want ur lover to be forced to think about the words , symbology of these tats while u are having sex?"

"do u really want to look like this at age 80?"

"What they want you to remember"

Reading between the lines.  So many times people are telling you xyz but they don't realize that they are sending a totally different message through their non verbals.

In this instance, I just read an article in Redbook (free magazine area at library) about Jada Pinkett Smith.

They take away is supposed to be the importance of friends and family.

But what i'll always remember about the article is:

(and I will paraphrase here)

Jada and a girlfriend were hanging out on North Avenue in Baltimore.  She just cashed her check then immediately got mugged.  She chased down the assailant armed with a switchblade!

Redbook asked Pinkett how mom reacted when she said she wanted to go to Hollywood.  The mother said something to the effect of: "You might as well, stay here and you might get killed!"

Breaking: Arizona Wildfire, 19 Firefighters Die While Battling Yarnell H...

Breaking: Arizona Wildfire, 19 Firefighters Die While Battling Yarnell H...

Arizona battles out of control wildfire that killed 19 firefighters

"Arizona Republic newspaper reads TRAGEDY"

Over the weekend AZ had it's worst fire in state history killing 19 fire fighters.  Incredibly sad.  Every article , as is true for most tragedies, had a lot of god talk, prayer talk, etcetera.  They talked of people fleeing with their "7 pets" which I think is ludicrous, but I've got strong opinions about people's obsession with owning animals.

Anyway, I just wanted to say how sad I feel for everyone affected.

"Senior center not a senior center"

So, I heard it from the horse's mouth.  The senior center is actually a community center open to all ages.

Here is a weird anecdote.  I went on Friday to "beginning Spanish class"  When the teacher walked in she did not introduce herself as the teacher, but instead spoke to me in Spanish.  When I responded she said: WRONG!

I lasted 10 minutes in this class.  The woman is the b___ from hell, reminded me of my worst high school teachers.  She told me that I am not welcome to attend the low cost lunches (she is not in a position to make that decision)

She "air slapped" me across the face when I said that I don't use assistive devices because of the stigma!

Only one other student came (about 75 or older) and the teacher did not even bother to assess our skill level.  She just made us repeat words and phrases over and over until she "deemed we had pronounced it correctly!"

After 10 minutes I walked out saying "i'm dropping out"

she said "don't do that!" y are u dropping out?" 

I said "because it's not fun"

"Weak stomach? don't read this"

So the deal is that I'm getting migraines nearly every a.m.  Insurance only allows 9 pills a month, and sometimes it takes 2 pills to knock out the migraine.

So, I had the one on fri a.m.  that came back fri. night.  I ate for the last time at the mission.  I tried to sleep off the fri. headache which did not work.  It turned into a skull crusher.  The kind where you can't talk in person, on the phone, or even watch t.v.  all u can do is just suffer.

I vomited for 10 hours. And decided to fast.  Easy to do since I had run out of money and there is no food in house.  I've been very weak since, only able to leave for 2 hours yesterday. 

Although it has subsided it has not completely gone away.  Someone has started smoking in my bldg. (lease violation) and the smoke is coming into my place which might be why there are more headaches.  Still very weak.  Still gotta say that this is NOT AN ACCEPTABLE QUALITY OF LIFE.

The mmj card has still not arrived but I know that it will someday.