Saturday, January 30, 2010

"Of All the Dumb Luck"

For 2 weeks I've been silently praying to the universe: "Whatever you do just don't snow on Sat. January 30th!" Well, I was on my way to Baltimore City for a Hippie Reunion and what'dya know, I'm too scared to make the drive. They're calling for up to 3 inches.

so, I'm on my way out the door to Hippie Reunion and see snow. Well, normally I don't drive in the snow, but I'm all dressed with nowhere to go. Let me see if I can get to Balto. City. Well, I make it 8 blocks and chicken out.

Dodge Rams are fishtailing and there is a honda that has driven up onto the median. Nonetheless, I see if I can at least make it to the library. I hate being at home with no phone service so I might as well try to get to the library.

No t.v. either so I don't know if any warnings have been issued against driving.

What is "Hippie Reunion?" you are just "dying" to know.

Well it's the memorial service for the late A. Robert Kauffman (activist)

Google the name and put in activist next to his name. I've not done this but it will be a feast of knowledge indeed.

What do I wear to a hippie memorial? I'm wearing a dark green sweater, light green jeans, and tie dye socks......................

I'm very dissapointed, but I just can't take the chance of trying to drive that far. It's almost 30 miles and my roadside assistance will only travel 15 miles.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

"My Sleep is Riddled with Nightmares"

O.k. So here is a nightmare I'm willing to put on the blog. I'm in a park like setting. There are many people out and there are benches. The weather is warm. A young man/teen hands me a manilla envelope. It is his million dollar inheritance in cash.

The reason he gave it to me is because he wants me to count it.   I have about $6.00 of it in my hand. The moment I sit down at a bench to count it, I am abducted by a man with a knife. He takes me all through the park. I keep yelling for people to call 911 but no help comes.

What's funny is, in real life, I am very good in a crisis. I have a poker face and can appear very calm on the outside even if I'm not.

I calmly said to my abductor: "Exactly what is it that you want from me?"

Abductor-calmly replies: "I don't know what I want from you!"

My abductor walked a few steps away from me and said: "Look at this"

At this point I took off running. I approached 3 women in the park for help. They resented the interruption........................

Nightmare ends

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"What are the chances of that?!"

So, I'm in the auto shop and the guy in front of me in line is about 60 and hilarious!. Seems like a really fun person. Was talking about NJ. I said I found it a confusing place to drive in.

Guy says he's originally from Northwest. I said: "Give it to me straight, where are you from?" I smiled and said I was from Randallstown.

He asked where specifically? I told him I had 4 addresses because my parents kept moving. I told him I used to live in Kings Park Estates. He replied: "My father and I installed the bar in your basement!"

I never saw my parents drink, but isn't that neat? So, anywho this guy says he's a coin dealer. I ask him if he knew my birthmother's late husband who was into coins. Oh yea, I knew him for 40 years. He was a "shmaltz" (did he say that? some yiddish word) I instinctively could have guessed what it meant even though I didn't meet mike too many times.

Guy said Yeah Mike couldn't get anything done. Never really did anything. I said my birthmother felt trapped in the marriage. Trapped?! he said? Mike would never stop anybody from doing anything!

There was more to this conversation then I can put on a blog, but it was really fun and I learned some things too.

"Small town kindness, small town ways"

Last night when I was driving home from the library (day 2 migraine) the low coolant light came on. Oh great. One more thing to worry about. Well I'm not going to try to resolve this now it's after dark.

Next day I'm thinking about this. I don't have any money to buy coolant. I know you aren't supposed to use water in the winter to replace the coolant. Hmmm, giant sells coolant and said non profit has given me some giant cards for food. Boy I sure don't want to use those food cards for coolant.

I can call my caseworker at the welfare office and see if there is any money in the pot for car repairs. No, it isn't a repair; but I can't drive the car without it. She'd have to send a promissory note to the auto shop that the agency will pay for the coolant! What a big to do all this over coolant.

I called the shop to find out how many days I can go using water in lieu of coolant. Zero, the mechanic said. My next question was going to be "How much do you charge for dexcool?" But he didn't give me chance to ask the question. He said: "Bring her on in today so I can top her off"

Elana-"How much will that cost?"

mechanic-"I'm not charging you Elana, just bring her on in!"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"My Synchronistic Life"

Sat. evening I was sitting in a coffee house with a strange array of reading material. A few bad magazines and a couple of strange but fascinating books. I picked up the one on Serial Killers. (there were 2) This book was 8 x 11 or 11 x 13 it was large.

First chapter-everything you ever didn't care to know about Ted Bundy. Fascinating. I didn't quite finish it, but before that day I really knew nothing.

Here's the crazy synchronistic part. Next day, Carroll county times-picture of Ted Bundy! Caption-21 year anniversary of his assasination (or whatever the word is)

---------------------------------------------------------

Today I was in physical therapy. I was telling the staff that I can't get down the water that comes out of my tap. It's nauseating. I told them that I might do the free water testing I saw advertised. Anyhow, this cop comes in to do the p.t. Talking about all the suicides he sees. We said, why? He said they are linking the Carroll County drinking water to higher rates of depression which can lead to suicide!

I asked if there would be articles on this on the internet. He said yes. There is a suicide in Carroll County every 24 hours!

Monday, January 25, 2010

"New Schemes"

Here's my latest idea on how to make money. You know how these photographers reproduce, blow up and mat their photos? Well, I've dreamt for years of matting my Australia pics and putting them up in a coffee shop.

But why not try to sell them?

Many (because they were taken with a cheap camera) won't blow up and still look professional. But many will.

Today I will research this subject on the internet.

"Ive run out of money"

This leaves me no choice but to smuggle my own food into public places if I get hungry! I was on my way to the mall yesterday where there are two shops that let you eat your own food.

So I brought my 16 ounce bottle of Bolthouse Farms Mochacino, a bag of Pepperidge farm dark chocolate/raspberry milano cookies and a banana. (all purchased with food stamps)

I never made it to the mall because the fog was blinding. This is a rare issue in Baltimore but a common problem in Carroll County.

So, I still want to get out of the house. I go to my local coffee shop. I take a sip of my drink then surreptitiously put it back in the plastic bag. I take a bite of cookie then discreetly re wrap it in a napkin. Most customers are looking at me as if I am a thief.

Every couple of seconds I check to see where the manager is. I never did see one. The baristas don't care if I eat my own food.  Nevertheless none of the employees ever notice my dastardly deeds!

This is one strange life, is it not?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

"A Raisin In the Sun"

I had only seen it once, but not all of it. I saw it on a 30 year old black and white t.v. with a bad picture. So, I thought it would be a real treat to go see the free showing at the Carroll County Arts Center (a wonderful place)

Wow, what a conflict laden film. Certainly not light by any means. I could sure understand their struggle with roaches. Now this is a clean family which implies that roaches are a real issue in apt. houses. Where do I even begin?

Oh, I loved the opening statement. I don't know everything the narrator said but I just loved and will never forget that he said:

"What happens to a dream deferred? Does it just dry up like a raisin in the sun?"

I can't remember if I cried once or cried twice-But I know I cried for one of my favorite parts of the film. Where the family is sitting at the table with the neighborhood chairman. Mom says to her son "Go ahead son, I want to hear you teach your son about the tookers and the taken"

And the son pauses and he stands up for what he and his family believe. He doesn't take the money instead because of their pride they decide to go ahead and move into the all white neighborhood. What a beautiful shpeel the son gave-and how awesome to see the little boy just taking it all in.

Certainly you've seen this movie, what do you think?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Reflecting on Thursday, 1/21

I feel despondent. Sure doesn't help that I haven't slept in months. Although I had that 10 hours (not straight thru) sleep sunday night when my doc. gave me 3 pills of a med he thought could help me get caught up without killing me like the one i took on saturday.

He said it was an accident that he gave me 3. He called in a refill. I went to pick it up. I couldn't. It wasn't covered by my insurance. I left it there. Clerk said she'd keep it til 1/28. In the meantime I can look forward to absolutely sleep dep. as I usually don't fall asleep at all. I get into that in between state where I have the nightmares but I don't completely fall asleep.

Just received a message on my machine from bge. I'm in imminent danger of them shutting off my utilities. As I imagine no heat, no lights, no radio, and no phone (because verizon is shutting me off again on Monday) it is more then I can stand.

I have an appt. at the welfare office and I'm concerned I'll fall asleep at the wheel. (Never have before) My vision is blurry But I didn't fall asleep. I arrive 1/2 hour early. Sit in the car for 10 then walk over to the office.

The receptionists never seem to organized. I asked her if I should sign in. She said no, who are you here to see? Karen I said. she said, "I'll alert Karen right now that you are here"

It's 15 min. past my appt. time and I"m very worried. I go back to desk. Male recep. says he'll call her. Turns out she was never alerted of my presence. Anyway Karen is very efficient, very compassionate. I've never seen that combination before. She came up with $370 for my bge bill. This will prevent turn off.

When you're in these offices there is so much interesting stuff happening in the waiting room. For one thing there is a man who is with 2 preschoolers that are both in strollers. I never would have guessed in a million years that these children are brothers. These poor kids are bored and lonely and the father is doing nothing but texting on his cell phone the entire 1/2 hour. But the worst part? He has the strollers back to back so the children can't see each other.

One child picks up plastic trash. I"m very concerned he will swallow it. I alert dad. Dad says "Oh, I trust him. I'm sure he won't put it in his mouth!"

There is a worker who appears to be the family's caseworker. She comes in and out of the office. She is a good role model and tries to model good parenting skills for the father. Of course a good modeler typically is so suave that the parent isn't even aware that the caseworker is teaching. I would get some wonderful opportunities later today to do just this.

Karen referred me to Shepard's Staff. She's pretty certain they will pay for my rx's. Many people consider that we are receiving handouts. My perception is that every hour of my time is worth at least 10 dollars. Like work. going to these offices or making calls or running around. it's work.

So, I arrive at Shephard's Staff. They have an extremely impressive array of things they do and an impressive website. But being there is a chaotic mess. S.S. is very crowded and I'm in my element (as a social worker that is) I wait quite a while for a woman to move so i can sit in the chair she's blocking.

She realizes I'm there and says: "Why didn't you just say "MOVE!"

ME-Because we're already under so much stress and I think we should try to be extra patient and nice to each other.........................

Amen to that. A couple of people, including her, think it's a great idea.

What's next about the culture of the waiting room here at s.s. as opposed to the wait rooms in baltimore social service organizations, is that everybody is talking to one another and being nice to each other despite the oppressive conditions and the way we are treated.

I find out that the man next to me (who is obviously drunk) has a broken toe, a broken hand and he and his family have a 2.5 hour walk to get to the homeless shelter. I tell him I"ll take them all. He says yes, then later changes his mind. He's drunk and not thinking clearly-and i'm not going to insist if he says no.

A 4.5 year old girl is fishing thru the free clothing bin. Mom doesn't notice her. She finds a nice hat and gloves.

me-"That's a beautiful hat, do you want it?"

girl-(not much of a smiler) yes

me-"Why don't you try it on?"

girl tries it on.

me-"It looks beautiful. Let's ask mommy if you can have those things.

mom-yes, she can

me-"Can you find a safe place to put those things so you don't lose them?"

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(I found out that girl is homeless)

Another girl has found a flyer and she is drawing right on top of it.

me-"You need some paper to draw on, don't you?"

her-"Yes"

I go to the desk and ask for a sheet of paper. The recep. says "I'll go in the back and see if we have any?!" (could this be more insane)

She's gone for 10 minutes at least. Never offers me any paper. A man finds a postcard for the girl to draw on.

I tear a sheet out of my notebook.

me-"I've got paper here, but it's got lines. So It'll be really helpful if you know some letters or words!"

girl smiles-I do! I know "cat" and I know my name!

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Clerk calls me back, or does she?

Ms. Snyder I just need to check and see if you have the right paper. (Doesn't sound to me like she's calling me back to a room, so I leave my backpack and coat in the wait room. That's what's nice about Westminster. You can leave your bag and no one will steal it)

So, the lady does take me back to a room. They are all very punitive in tone. "This referal paper you brought isn't going to do me any good. I can't pay for a prescription in Hampstead. I can onlly pay for an rx. in WEstminster. Have you tried agency 2?"

I feel very overwhelmed when I'm immediately asked what else I've done.

I replied: "No, I've tried you"

So, after telling me she CAN'T help me-she says what we need to do is transfer your rx. to another pharmacy. I'm very reticent about doing this and wonder if it's worth the headache. I won't even know how to get to the other pharmacy.

She says "We just called your pharmacy and they no longer have your rx's."

I'm very upset. "But they said they would keep them until 1/28!"

I call myself. I say "I was just told you don't have my rx.'s anymore" The rx clerk said "who told you that?" "we have them"

I told this to the shephard staff clerk and she was dumbfounded. I had to make a bunch of calls and then I had 3 wait periods in the wait. room.

this time in the wait room, a mother refers me to a place where I can get a free bed. There are many homeless families in the wait room with small children.

Called my pharmacy againn and said "I want to make it clear that I am not switching my business to another pharmacy" (this is alot of stress cuz I fear they will misunderstand)

I got to the pharmacy, remarkably without getting lost, and got my rx.'s for free.

Being in that wait. room and being able to use my social work skills, really makes me miss working, and mourn the fact that I've got all these skills that are going to waste...........................

"Does Elana have a balanced blog?"

Absolutely not. Have I tried to create a balanced blog? yes. That was an easier thing to do when I had a t.v. Because I could lighten up my blog a little by discussing what was happening on the Bachelor and other light reality shows. At least I'm getting some media access via the internet. And I'll try to remember to discuss the movies I go to see. But mostly I talk about my day to day life and you know I don't have alot of positive experiences.

Putting my own personal circumstances aside, today I will evaluate Carroll County. C.C., overall as a very healthy society. I give this county a very high rating. Reminds me alot of Lafayette, Indiana. No crime, rough winters.

No public transit isn't good but if you have a car that you can afford to keep up then you have the potential for a good life. I've been very active. I went to the community Thanksgiving, Christmas carrolling, i go to the historical society talks, I go to free programming at the library, i go to a support group................Of course in the warmer months I go to the festivals-which I blog about. And the carnival and such.

People are very friendly, I can leave stuff on the seat of my car, I'm not going to get mugged, the beauty of the land is breathtaking all year long, the air is clean-it's most certainly a good place to raise children.

Now the singles scene, what singles scene? And I know there is karaoke and such but I have never done a night time activity yet because I don't really know of any!

I give Hampstead and Carroll County, 5 stars..............................

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Check it Out!

There are an abundance of videos including and/or about journalist Barbara Ehrenreich. (You may have noticed she is my facebook friend)

I recommend you begin with

"Nickel and Dimed From the American Ruling Class"

you can find it on you tube

"Customer Dis-service"

Yesterday I was back at the dreaded grocery store, the monopoly in my area. You know for years now, I've come to prefer the so called self check out aisles. Well, in theory i prefer them. Most of the time they don't work and it takes some 3 or 4 employees to help you.

I can't use the self check outs most of the time because I have a food stamp card that doesn't work at the self check outs. My "Independence" card doesn't scan in any of the scanners, and the state won't send me a new one.

So, this drama that happened last night has happened a few times before. I try a clerk I've never used before as I haven't yet had any bad experiences with her. She scans my card (i have 28 in groceries)

clerk-"Maam, there's no money on this card"

me-"Oh yes there is, I just got paid"

well, I'll try again. tries again. "there is definitely no money on this card"

me-"Well you better figure something out cuz I'm not leaving without these groceries"

she pulls out some kind of large pink paper and runs it thru a "fax" machine

Unfortunately she goes and gets the manager who I can't stand

"There isn't any money on this card" he says

There is money on the card I say, I just got paid (god x#$% it)

He goes to another register doesn't even help me drag all my groceries over there.

I fully expect him to take all my groceries out of the bag to rescan. I can't believe how rude it is of them to not help me carry my bags.

He tries to ring me up on the other machine and says

"O.K. you're free to go, it worked"

me-"Well, aren't you gonna get that machine repaired so others don't have to go thru the same thing i went thru?"

His answer sounds something like a grunt. This all is very stressful and I consider boycotting the store altogether. Out of all the bad options of places to shop, I guess the best of the bad would be Whole Foods. Problem is I have food cards for the other store not Whole Foods.

All of this is exhausting. I'll bet many poor people would have felt humiliated at being told over and over that there is no money on their food stamps card! It doesn't humiliate me it just pisses me off!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

"Deciding what to disclose"

I mean, realistically, will what I disclose really affect my ability to get hired? It's probably a remote chance that what I write will affect me in that way. I've been (as of today) essentially out of work for 7 years.

I won't tell you everything, but I'll tell you alot. I have been extremely weak for 6 weeks. It's scary. I walk around my apt wondering when my feet will just collapse under me. Frequently I use walls and furniture to hold me up.

Remember that soap with the warning label? Well, today I finished my antibiotic for a Urinary Tract Infection. and my doctor gave me a lotion for the blisters on my right hand!

Remember the side effects of that one med I wrote about? Saturday night (this was about the 5th time a med nearly killed me) around 1:30 A.M. (i was awake as I am always awake) My ears rang very loudly, my heart started racing, I was breathing shallow, and then, for the first time in my life I began having seizures.

I had this tingling sensation that makes you feel like you're dying. I paged my doctor but didn't get a response. I did not want to call an ambulance. I knew if I fell asleep I might not ever wake up.

Suddenly it was like someone hit me over the head it's like a drugged tired. But I still couldn't fall asleep because I can't breathe thru my nose due to my allergies to my neighbor's cigarettes. So I did not fall asleep.

Next day I paged the doc. again. He was shocked and upset at what I had to go thru. He said, well the Trazadone that you take to supposedly help you sleep we are pulling you off of that. And that med for that problem you don't like to talk about, that might be a culprit I'm pulling you off of that.

Now remember, I have been awake for 3 months. All I can do is go to the "in between" state-I don't fall asleep. So he put me on a different sleep med-first night I slept 10 hours and only got up to pee three times as opposed to 10-50 times in a night.

2nd night I only slept 4 hours, but was ready to get out of bed. Side effect I feel I'm in slow motion. Everything has to be done very slowly...................

eeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyything is very sssssssssssssssslllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

so be patient with me!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

It's referred to as "Internet Panhandling"

There are millions who do it. I had a link on my site for 2 years. I never received a donation via that site, so i removed it-since I had to pay for it. However, I did sometimes get food card donations or small donations sent anonymously to my house-or maybe somebody would pay a car repair for me.

I have a shut off notice from BGE. I owe 498.00. If they do shut me off, it means no heat, no cooking, no lights, no refrigeration, no radio, etc. etc.

If you wish to help please email me with a way to reach you. No anonymous emails please. Or just respond to this blog and include your contact information.

Thank YOu

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Oprah Show/Marriage around the world

No, I still do not have a t.v. But there is a pizza place that has a t.v. and has let me watch ellen and oprah.

So today is my first time seeing Oprah since May when I had to leave La Pew for a few weeks to stay with that senior citizen.

Population in Cairo is 20 million and there is virtually no crime. The woman being interviewed (Nana, i think) said that there is a high divorce rate in Cairo. 1 in 3 i think. I don't see that as any higher then the u.s. personally. You are not allowed to live together before marrying. If a woman divorces she customarily moves back in with her parents.

One of the women was asked why she wears a head scarf. For religious reasons and also so men will not lust she said.

In Egypt, if a woman initiates a divorce it takes a long long time and involves court. But a man can divorce his wife in one minute. All he has to do is state one sentence to her and he is granted the divorce. 3 Egyptians who weree in the audience said that it is a misnomer that a man can divorce his wife by texting her.

Both the men and the women are very sexually frustrated before marriage. Since there is no premarital sex allowed, both parties are forced to wait until 35 years old or later to have sex. Why so long? Men are no longer in a good enough economic place to marry........................sad situation I'd say.

Once you are married foreplay is highly encouraged by the experts!

Why is the divorce rate high asked Oprah?

1. people marry for the wrong reasons
2. men and women are in the midst of an identity crisis

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I just loved seeing these other countries. But I most enjoyed the piece on Ukraine-since I have some Ukrainian ancestors.

Mail Order Brides

100k women per year become mail order brides

The Ukraine is known for it's gorgeous women (hurray!)

Lyra (woman's name) is the interviewee. She wanted out of Ukraine. She said it's too dark of a place, and there family was poor. She wanted to come to America. In the Ukraine a teen, and young woman, is thinking mainly about the importance of marriage, not career. I am not waiting for Ukraine to change I'm getting out of here. (That was my sentiment about Baltimore)

Lyra joined a mail order site. She met Steve in Manhattan. He's significantly older then her. They talked only over internet for a long time. Then he began to make trips to the Ukraine. It was about 6 months when they got married. They've been married since 2004. Steve was traumatized by 9/11 and that was his impetus for seeking a mail order bride. Now they are in love and very happy, even though Lyra admits that initially her decision was so she could get a visa for America.

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Denmark woman are raised to be very independent. Marriage is a low priority.

Lyra says 20 is too old to be single.

Mumbai

on arranged marriage. They only had 2 days. 5 months later they were married. The initial meeting with the parents was very awkward for him. The weddings in India take 3 days. After they married wife discovered that husband smokes.

More than 1/2 of the marriages in thw world, were arranged marriages!

Don't Say I didn't warn you

Here are some fact sheets for some commonly used medications.

med 1-

-take this med. with food or milk
drinking extra water daily is recommended
don't change amount of salt in your diet
store medicine at room temp away from heat or light (what if the heat is on in your home?)

using this med. alone, with other meds, or with alcohol may lessen your abililty to drive
avod caffeine containing foods such as coffee, tea, cocoa, cola and chocolate
avoid excessive sweating caused by hot weather, hot baths, saunas, exercising.
check with your doctor before taking meds. containing ibuprofen or naproxen.
this med causes harm to the fetus
this med is excreted in breast milk

Side Effects

-mild thirst
frequent urination
drowsiness
hand tremor
nausea

if they are bothersome check with your doctor. If you experience diarrhea, vomiting, unsteadiness, difficulty walking or unusual muscle weakness contact your doctor. This is not a complete list of all side effects.

(that was enough typing, so this is the only med I'll feature today)

Aren't the side effects, directions, and contraindications dizzying?

"Don't Say I didn't warn you!"

This post is on the hidden costs behind that 1 dollar bottle of lavender scented body wash that I bought at the dollar store. Perhaps I was bored one day but after having purchased this item 2 or more times I find myself reading the bottle.............

"Do not apply around mouth or lips. Excessive (?) use or prolonged (?) exposure may cause skin and urinary tract irritation" I wonder what they mean by excessive, and prolonged? Do they really mean that the product will give a person a urinary tract "infection" as opposed to "irritation" which would require patient to go on an antibiotic!

I wonder which ingredients are the culprit behind these dangers. Who knew bathing was potentially dangerous!?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"Remember Johnny?"

He's the one I told you about in a long ago blog. The one who made sure I got from Indiana to Maryland to my section 8 apt. when I didn't have the means to get there on my own.

Well, he has a blog that has already received 97,000 hits. AND he's got a link on there for my blog.

Whooppee! You'd think I'd get more traffic, but I'm nowhere near 97k (yet, I'm not sure how to check that)

So his blog is

www.marylandonmymind.com

"Man analyzes me to death"

Today I went to the Box Lunch Talks at the Historical Society. After paying my admission I went to get some coffee. My cup was nearly full, then I discovered that there were packs of cocoa. In a case like this I'll usually make mocha. Problem is when i put in the cocoa it overflowed a little. I was having some hand tremors which made it tough to walk thru the crowded room to my seat without spilling a little.

The minute I arrived to my table a man said "You sure are making a mess"

I replied, "well, I'm a little shaky this morning and my cup was very full"

man-"You're on meds?" (a reference to the tremors I guess)

me-"Yes, I am despite the fact that I'm not a senior"

man-"Well, it's obvious that you aren't a senior, how old are you?"

me-46

man-"Now you're adding more cocoa and making more of a mess?"

me-"You are analyzing me to death aren't you?"

woman next to me-"I'd feel really nervous if he were analyzing me to death"

man to me-"You are really making a spectacle of yourself"

me-"I have no idea how to respond to you"

man-"Best that you don't"

I'm cleaning my tablecloth a bit, so i'll be more comfortable. He smiles and says:

Man-"Good job, I approve"

I do not respond. But this really does distract me from the talk. I thiink about big brother and how I feel that my every move is scruitinized almost everyplace I go.

I said to the woman next to me "I will never ever sit near him again"

woman-"A generational thing"

me-"You mean the condescending tone he used with me?"

woman-"yes, nearly all men in that generation speak down to women"

me-"I did not know that, and that is very sad"

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The talk itself was very good. It was called Carroll County's Small Towns and Villages"

He talked about how in the 50's it was very common for extended family to live together. (I did not know that) He said now families wouldn't hesitate to move far away from grandma and grandpa.

One guy asked "Do you feel the modern ways are corrupting young people's values?"

Speaker-"We could do a 3 day seminar on that question, and maybe we should."

I think I'd have alot of interesting input on what it's like to be a product of a family like mine that was not only very abusive, but almost complete out of touch with all extended family. So it really was just me, helen, and arnold. I barely knew my grandmother or my aunts at all.................................

I hope you found this post interesting

Friday, January 8, 2010

"Antidepressants"

In the last week, I've been on you tube and have found the perfect escape. I watch the old episodes of a show I loved as a girl. I've been watching the same videos over and over again because there aren't that many. I've been watching the "Soul Train" dancers.

This inspired me to try to start a group on craigs list. A group of people who want to go out disco dancing. Seems like most of the places that would offer something like this are in Balto. City.

Can you believe I had not one single taker?!

"Customer Dis-service" is everywhere

On New Years Day I headed to the grocery store looking for Annie's macaroni and cheese. I don't like to ask for help because 9 times out of ten they say they don't know where it is.

I start with aisle 1 and walk the entire store. I walk down the aisles that seem logical. Not in the pasta aisle. 15 or 20 minutes later I'm at the other end of the store no luck.

I ask the boy stocking the pizza if he can help me. No response. I ask again. He looks at me funny, then walks away.

I go to customer service. There is no one there. I yell for someone to come over and help me. I explain how the employee just walked away from me like I was invisible.

The female clerk responded: "Oh yeah, he's artistic, or something like that. I know I couldn't believe it either when I first started working here. But we have to. We're required to hire the disabled"

Me-"Don't you mean he's autistic?"

Her-Oh something like that

Me-Well, I've just walked this entire store looking for this product and can't find it.

She heads back to aisle one and starts walking the same aisles I've already walked. I told her I've checked there already.

Her-"Well, I guess I'm going to have to find a manager"

I give up and take my salmon to the register. I'm not in a time crunch. I tell the boy that I never found what I needed. I can't believe what he does. He walks away from me and starts walking the aisles. You don't just walk away from a customer that you're ringing up!

I leave the store, and leave the salmon behind.

When I get to me car he yells "I found it"

"You should have never walked away from me like that"

"Well how else am I supposed to find it?"

Out of desperation I walk back into the store and he tells me what aisle to go to. "THE LOW SUGAR CANDY AISLE!"

In the low sugar candy aisle I find the manager and the original female clerk who was "helping" me

I tell the manager that there service is deplorable; and what in the world is the pasta doing in the low sugar candy aisle?

(This chain has a monopoly so if you want a supposedly better experience you need to drive 12 plus miles to the competitor!)