"The war zone"

 Arrived at the Spine Center an hour and twenty minutes early. (I'm always an early bird) My apt. was too cold to sleep last night. I'm exhausted. The heater in my apt. does not work. I fear that mice go into it and die. I've seen a mouse run into the lobby heater. The community businesses who clean vents said they don't know that they can clean my kind of heater. And the maintenance staff refuse to replace my heater. Plus with the thefts I don't want the maint. men in my home for any reason at this point. They scare me. (Based on past experience I could call city inspectors but it will get me nowhere. There are only so many hours a day that I can fight battles)

Last night residents got a notice under our door commanding us to come to the office between certain hours to fill out a form. They don't care if we have to work or are out of town, they punish us if we don't do what they say when they say. I start calculating where to hide my belongings and how to make my apt. look occupied while I'm in the community room filling out forms and away for the day at the spine center, etcetera.

Should I wear my ring and risk getting mugged?

Should I hide my ring in my apt. and hope maint. don't steal it?

Should I hid my i.d. in the house and risk it get stolen?

Should I carry my i.d. and risk getting mugged?

I go through these decisions every time I leave the house. All jewelry accumulated in my lifetime has been stolen except for one ring. I call it my lucky ring. I hope it does its job.

I won't put my bus pass around my neck or the maintenance men will know that my apt. is vacant. Hmm. How will I get out of the community room and out of the bldg. without them seeing me. I'll have to leave the c. room, (in basement) go to 3rd floor walk to the far north end of bldg. take stairs to 1st floor. This is the best way to not have them see me leave.

I leave the c. room. I walk to elevator, another woman walks to elevator, we wait for elevator. Maint. man comes up behind us. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" He demands we pay attention to him. I don't. The woman said: "no, it wasn't" I refused to answer. But he has to be in control so he says "How are you Ms. S." I walk away from him completely ignoring him. I walk to the staircase. Should I walk up to 3rd floor? I'll wait a few minutes then I'll cross over to north bldg. and try to get out without them noticing. I'll have to walk to the drumcastle bus stop   i never wait at this bus stop in front of my bldg. because then maint. will know that I left for the day.

I stand outside my bldg. to put my coat on and the bus gets caught at that red light at the stop that I told you is too dangerous for me to take (because maint. will see me leave.)   Then again,I'd be a fool not to hop this bus, as there was no wait. I have a mile walk from the bus stop to the spine center and that's o.k. because the neighborhoods there are pretty safe.

The stress of having to see the burglars every day , well it's so high that I fear it will kill me. I have no words to describe the anger I feel for the 2 maint. men responsible for the thefts, the vandalism of my furniture and the burning of my photos...............................

The main reason I have not found another place to live yet is because of having no car. I'll keep trying. Staying at La Pew is not an option if I want a healthy and happy life.