12/28/02

Looking back at 12/28/02

I am renting an apt. in an old house in Mt. Washington.   I do not feel safe here because their large dog threatens to attack and bite me when they aren't at home. I just moved in and it's terrifying because it takes my entire disability check and a portion of my earnings through babysitting.  I have untreated lyme disease. I do indeed end up homeless by 6/03.

12/28/02  Paper moon diner

Paper Moon is becoming my favorite place to eat with an atmosphere that is very conducive to dining alone.  I'm getting really scared.  Now that I'm monitoring my flu-like symptoms I'll bet I run a fever daily.

I have daily sweats, chills and fevers.  What I thought were panic attack symtoms may bave actually been lyme disease.

chronic low ab pain
diffuse musculoskeletal pain (joints and muscles)
chronic ear and throat pain
sweats
fevers
chills
very weak
crushing headaches that last sometimes more then a week
coughing
largely bedridden
coughing up blood

I'm scared.  I may up end up homeless again due to high housing costs.  It appears I'm in fairly healthy environs for the time being.  I drag myself to work (nanny) and just barely get through the day.

Will I make it to age 40?

Will I need a health care aide like Byrdie does (she has lyme disease)

should I move into an intentional community and make sure I'm taken care of?