"Another glimpse of my future book"

1/8/05
Author's note
I'm crashing at Gary's apt. in Lafayette, Indiana. We dated for a few weeks then he decided to reconcile with his ex. Nevertheless, he is in the psych. hospital now where I had to bring him a few weeks ago for a nervous breakdown. While there in December he made an unsuccessful suicide attempt. He'll let me stay at this apt. theoretically until I get my housing voucher. Instead, I vacated on 2/1/05.

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Originally I heard that it would not snow today and that it would be warm. I'm still without a working car and it's making me crazy.

Yesterday, I had the car towed from Woodruff's back to home since I can't afford the repairs. So I only got to leave the house for 1.5 hours. I figure the buses aren't running today any way.

I woke up at 7 a.m., looked out the window, though about how hard it will be to get anywhere without a car. Thought about my limbs and how they just fall asleep whenever. Did Gary commit suicide? I think I"ll just go back to bed.

I awoke some time around 1:30 p.m. I have cereal but no milk. If I try to walk to the Village Pantry for milk my feet will get drenched. I called "Random Auto" and asked them if it is dangerous for me to drive a car that needs a new head gasket? I've got to get out of this place.

The mechanic replied: "It is dangerous to drive a car that needs a new head gasket because you will do more damage to the car" Well, I think, sounds like it probably won't "blow up" I need food so I have no choice but to get in this car and go. At about 2 p.m. I went downstairs to start the car. It took me almost 2 hours toget all of the ice off.

I borrowed a scraper and couldn't remove any of the ice with it. My neighbor sprayed de-ice on it and that didn't do the trick either. I let it run to see if having the defrost rear and front would help but that didn't do the trick either.

I walked upstairs to get a bucket of hot water to splash on it and that didn't help either. I let the car run for another 30 or 40 minutes. Saw a man in the parking lot (a real sweetheart) and asked him if he has a scraper I can borrow. He thought my right window had been smashed because after I rolled the right window down there was a very thick sheet of ice still in perfect placement that looked like another window was there! A windown that you can't see through! I smashed at that ice and I couldn't get rid of all of it ; so it looks like a smashed window! (I never experienced so much ice in MD) The neighbor chipped away at my ice for about 20 minutes. Somehow, I made it the 1.2 miles to Payless grocery store then stalled out in the parking lot.