THE WORLD OF CHATLINE (TELEPHONE) DATING

I've been talking on chatlines for years. (via telephone)

  "QUALITY FISH" was the ad that appeared in the back of the city paper.

I've considered writing a book  specifically devoted to "chatline dating." Truth is I go on very very few dates.  I probably only met 2 or 3 people in 2006. I have one simple rule that guides me with these chatlines.    I know within the first 3 minutes of talking to a man whether or not it's worth continuing the conversation. My rule is: is " FIRST DATE, PUBLIC PLACE"

Sadly, my friends, most of the men that use these sites are totally unwilling to wait for a good woman, apparently they do not feel that a good woman is worth waiting for. I make it clear that, ........I value my safety, I value my life. What kind of weirdo just invites a man or woman over to their house who they have never seen or met in their life! (Many of the women that use these services DO invite strangers over to their houses sight unseen!)

Here's how these chatlines work:  Men pay, women don't. Hypothetically speaking, 25 women call in and 25 men call in. You are supposed to be honest and really call in  on the side that represents your gender, but some don't.

 There are about 8% women on the men's side and probably visa versa. You get everything from 18 to 60 year olds calling from all around the world. Your personal phone number remains completely unknown unless you  choose to give it out.

. You have 2 choices. You can either talk on the live chatline, or you can just listen and respond to the permanent ads. These chat sites also have a web address if you wish to partake of it.

. So, "quality fish woman" (like myself!) calls into a central number, let's call that 123-4567. In my case I go directly to what is called the "live chat room." I scroll through and listen to the 25 or more men on the line.

 I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Elana, with so many men, why are you still single?"

My response: "Just because there are lots of  fish, doesn't mean they are: "quality fish."

I press caller block when i hear voices or ads from persons  that I know I'd never click with. In this instance, the caller block feature is the #8 on the telephone keypad. I usually widdle it down to about 5 to 10% of the men that have called in. Then I go from there. Just like the television show: "The Bachelor."

First I narrow the list  down to 5 or 10 men, then,  I widdle down even further. For example if I like the voice, but the very first thing they say on their greeting is "come on ladies, i need some action tonight" or "I'm willing to pay to play" then I block those calls.

. Eventually, the men get to recognize who is who. There are a handful of old timers out there, but I'm one of the oldest. (9 years) There are only 2 or 3 others who have been out here as long as me and we are in some cases phone acquaintances and they genuinely want to know how I am doing, even though they have no desire to meet face to face.

Since telephone is the medium, I listen  for articulate men with nice sounding voices. They are few and far between. Every once in a while a man might peg me as a "snob" since I am seeking a quality fish. For example, in the last few weeks, there has been a man on the line who everytime he hears my ad he leaves me a message that states:

"YUR PARENTS SHOULD TRADE YOU IN FOR A PET MONKEY, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "AR-TICK-A-LIT" MEANS"

Time to use the caller block feature! 

Sites where I believe there are plenty of good quality fish but I haven't met any yet are some of the sites where I can more readily (in theory at least) meet men who share my values. These sites are:

http://www.concernedsingles.com/

http://www.greensingles.com/

Oh, if you plan to try some of these date/chatlines out for yourself please remember:

"SOME FISH MAY BE CONTAMINATED, SO FISH AT YOUR OWN RISK!"