they've been wanting me to start physical therapy

The obstacles are no different than they were when I started the blog 10 years ago and no different than they were when I entered abject poverty 23 years ago.

number one the car is not safe to drive

number two I cannot afford to repair it.

  number 3 I cannot get around, walk and balance on 6 to 8 inches of ice that will not melt until the end of May beginning of June.

Number 4 Dont have means to move to California for example.

Number 5

Even if I sold the car I would be forced to use taxi cabs which would burn through any money I would get from selling the car extremely rapidly.

The chances of my qualifying for a car repair loan are slim since my credit is poor, and I have a very slim chance of being able to hold down a part-time job since I'm wracked with bodywide excruciating pain and devastating weakness.

I continue to have no choices in life.

Synchronicity

"The day I remember the best is 6/25/1963!"

How would you want to be treated?

When people with an opposite political point of view or religious point of view begin preaching or speaking about it, I do everything I possibly can to show respect.

When I was at the food center the other day a woman began preaching, speaking a very right-wing point of view in regards to Christianity I responded:

" I respect you as a human being and I respect your point of view but I don't quite see it that way and I'm not comfortable sharing my own views on the subject"

As an atheist I would like to ask you (especially Christians) to give me and any other atheists that you might meet the same due respect.

Isn't that what Jesus would do?

T.c.m.

Precious, absolutely PRECIOUS movie!

" some women have to run after their second chance others have to sit and wait for it"

Quote of the night

My friend Rick to me:

" everything about you screams artist!"

(Isnt that an awesome compliment?)

Can we stop the clock on 12/31?

Dread will be setting in even worse then usual on 1/1/ 2017, I know more then half of Americans are dreading, even worse downright terrified.

;(

Of course I'm watching

Betcha didnt know I enjoy fashion!

Project Runway junior is even more amazing than Project Runway itself; I'm watching the unconventional materials pool party challenge!

The kids looks  going down the runway... I would wear most of the looks as the skinnier version of myself!

Congratulations kids ur amazing as always!

My bday buddy

The first ten years of my life My adoptive parents celebrated my birthday one day too late until I found the birth certificate showing them that I was actually born on June 24th 1963

Either way George Michael and I across the pond from one another were celebrating our birthdays roughly the same day every year for 53 years

George dob was 6/25/63

Mine was 6/24/63

Malnutrition?

Last night for dinner, ramen noodles with a small mystery pastry the landlord gave me for x mas.

Breakfast/lunch today is 8 bites of cream cheese (no money for bread) and a 4 oz. Container of Apple sauce I got for free from a church.

Tonight with my 1/2 gallon of gas, im forced to go to mission for dinner, where normally all I can stand to eat is the fruit.

Judy Garland

Rival to lindt chocolate

Brookside chocolate is one of the best brands!

Sooo annoying

Lemon juice, vinegar help but this problem is daily, annoying!

Christmas Eve

One of the many xmas songs I love to sing/perform.

Lawrence welk

Happy new year

Grandma Moses

It still looks like there is a very strong chance that Grandma Moses was one of my ancestors. She is in the king family, I am a king descendants, her migration patterns throughout the United States immediately pattern my own 6 time great grandfather John King.

We're both descendants of the Mayflower but not until I send my ancestry DNA test will I come closer to finding the answer

Calvin and Hobbes

Only a few days ago I was telling my acquaintance about Calvin and Hobbes and this particular sticker of course just a few days later I'm parked behind the sticker and assume that the person whose placed the sticker on their car has cancer as their horoscope sign like I do.

It took me awhile to realize after seeing the breast cancer ribbon on the back of the van that Calvin is pissing on cancer!

I "mourned" when I found out that my favorite cartoon strip writer was retiring years ago. I own the c and h compilation book (found in street along with nearly all possessions after what looked like an eviction)

Sesame street

Lawrence welk show

Acdc

Wish I was there!

I hate pennies but

I've been giving away my pennies for many years however today since I only had $2 to put in the gas tank I went to take pennies out of the give a penny take a penny container very one that I have donated to, and the manager told me that I can't take the pennies out of there to pay for gas that those pennies are only used for when you need one penny, that's a good way to chase away her customers what do you think?!

Acdc

Ha ha can relate!

Dan is interviewing Weird Al

, the instant I turned on the TV the first sentence that came out of this guy's mouth was that it drives him crazy when people don't write or speak properly.

Im smiling huge.

Quote of the day

"I was making 5 million a year, but coming back to an empty home" Jack aay

a joyful documentary

this was the most joyful documentary I've seen in a long time,

And by the way all of the low and motels here in Flagstaff are indeed run by thePatel families!

violence in Chicago

These are awesome solutions being presented on pbs news hour.

Mask

Cure violence

And more

Ousted

Back in 2001 I was in the grocery store and it turned out that my biological father was in front of me in the checkout line.

Out of respect to his wishes, I held back a few steps; I created some distance because I knew that I would not be welcome to greet him/sadly, I felt the need to make sure he didnt see me, since he doesn't want contact.

(I was also homeless at the time; June 2001)

Synchronicity

Just last week I discovered that one of my favorite musicians George Michael is only one day younger than I am. I'll be very curious to find out what his cause of death at this point I don't think they have much of an idea

Laura's Album

I found this absolutely amazing book in the bookstore last week just kind of jumped off the shelf at me only one week after I was looking at a Laura Ingalls Wilder video on YouTube.

This is a compilation of Photographs & Memories and all the memorabilia of her whole life, it is absolutely incredible beauty an amazing back at the past

Commonalities with celebrities

I'm not an opera singer but I learned that my crew is an opera singer and he in my opinion has the most amazing voice to listen to

He's one year older than me and attended Catonsville community college and Towson university at the same time that I was there.

You might also be surprised to find what you have in common  with some celebrities

. For example Amy Schumer attended Towson University as well. She also like me has one Jewish parent and one non Jewish parent.

Rip

R.I.p. Benjamin Wilson

Freaky adoptee memories

Here is just one memory that I think of rather often. At some point in 2006 or 2007 I saw the balloons with the directions to my uncle's house (in Baltimore) so that people can "sit Shiva" in his memory. ( an open house that allows people to come and go everyday for about a week and it's basically a party celebrating the life of the deceased in the Jewish religion)

Can you imagine what it would be like to see the invitation to a p"party" of your immediately immediate family member and you can't go (because u aren't welcome) you never even met the the uncle who died? I never met any of the family on my father's side.

My father (who I only met thrice) he thinks he can forbid me from introducing myself to my family

There aren't many people that you could discuss that kind of memory with because there aren't many people that could relate to something that freaky

Politics

Cool sticker I thought.

World Wide Web goes public

Placard at wildflower bread celebrate things or people that got their start in 1996

Journal display

Collector of beautiful things

I thought this journal display at the local bookstore with quite gorgeous and I wanted to share with you

Bah humbug

" even when you have been good you still get screwed"

KEITH URBAN

"Wealth isn't just about money, its about quality of life!"

Lockup tampa

Does anybody else believe that Dee Dee Moore innocent? I believe she's guilty because who on Earth would have planted a dead body in her backyard. When you look at the fact that she used to make a half a million dollars a year I can't imagine her wanting to rob a man who just won the lottery for a few million dollars!

But the main reason why I don't believe her is because he wondered would have planted Abraham's body in her backyard?!

Music greats

Keep up the great work axsTV

99 percent bedridden

The issues with the back has worsened substantially in the last 10 years and I'd say for the last 10 215 years I can't stand for more than 15 minutes I can't walk very far either due to largely to excruciating back pain. I am so weak I can barely put a fork to my mouth. The migraines are almost daily and the stomach issues have been also very very severe for more than 10 years.

I think it's fair to say that I gave up years ago and do not want to spend my life running from Doctor to doctor or specialist to specialist. I'll never ever have a normal life on $8,000 a year and I don't see myself being able to hold down a job

quote of the night

(Movie Fred Claus)

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Response "A family"

democrat?

Please join


"Our revolution.com

Quote of the night

"MONEY, I HATE, LOATHE AND DESPISE MONEY!"

Cnn Obama legacy

Man, I love this family.

Obama makes it clear that all the progress weve made in 8 years WILL be undone by Trump.

Damn depressing.

Quote of the night

(C.i.a. Marylander with work assignment in Moscow)

"What I miss most about America are Maryland crabcakes and my Annapolis cadet boyfriend!"

you took the words right out of my mouth

Leah said something that is extremely similar to what I've been wanting to put on my blog for the entire 10 years I had it online.

"Imagine, your penniless, homeless, no family;now START YOUR LIFE"

Takes alot to shock me

Arizona rates on suicide;we are 38percent higher then the rest of the country.

We are definitely one of the poorest states and nearly everyone I meet has a deplorable quality of life living in a tent/ extremely low wage jobs temp jobs doing construction, and or disabled are just a fraction of the causes Im sure.

Quote of the day

"We lived together, laughing together, cried together and now we're going to die together."

Matthew McGough stranded in the outback.

Youve GOT to see/hear this!

Woman visits Louisiana state prison organizes various performances with the prisoners harmonies Etc this particular prison has a long and interesting history with music. She goes to hear the stories and bring joy into their lives even if just for a very short period : I highly encourage you to see this!

what I learned today

One of Baltimore s sister cities is Odessa; Russia)where my great grandparents immigrated to Baltimore from. He was ethnically Jewish but she was not.

Ive never seen pics of them; but that may change soon because I received my ancestry dna test in the mail.

Anti choice rhetoric

"They simply take the lovely baby, and they rip it out!"

Wow, check out this lifetime series

Wow! Important show (was cancelled)

True story, prostitute "soccer mom"

Practically mourning

I love everything about Obama and his family it's going to be truly painful to see him leave

Sex, lies and obsession

"Cameron, don't you think it's time to open the doors and let the light in?" Joanna

Quote of the day

"If that dog sues me, I'll bite you!"

Quote of the day

Anfisa to George:

"Y do you want me? For my tits and ass?!"

After Armageddon

"We're nice, because we are rich and comfortable. But when we're not rich anymore, were not going to be so nice!"

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND POIGNANT

Extraordinary documentary!

Critically Important!

See it on you tube, msnbc

Quote of the night

"If my brother dies, I'll commit suicide. BRANDI

Feel badly for Josh Earnest

The people in The Briefing room keep asking Josh Earnest the same questions over and over and over again, questions that he keeps giving the same answer to. Nobody is really listening to what Earnest is saying; "The priority at this time is the peaceful transition of power!"

No doubt whatsoever!

Additionally, I have no doubt that, as always, Michelle handled herself with tremendous grace and aplomb, in her meeting with Melania, and served as an extraordinary role model to her.

Obama meets trump

As always, Obama handled himself with grace and aplomb, and I have no doubt , this is day 1 of Obama serving as an excellent role model for, "The Donald!"

Trump protests across America

What can actually be achieved with the protests?

At this point, for as scared as I feel about a Trump presidency:

I can say 2 things;

Regardless of who has been president, my q.o.l. has steadily declined since 94

And

A trump presidency doesn't appear will directly hurt me in the first few months, in that I am too old for a reversal of roe v. Wade to affect me

And

A wall along the border wont directly affect me

Nor

Will the repeal of Obamacare.

I can only hope that Trump will have peaceful, highly intelligent role models, every step of the way

Congratulations Paul Penzone

Finally, after 25 years, Out with bully, Joe Arpaio!

I just turned on the TV and I feel extremely ill

I've only had the TV on for a couple of minutes because I've been too scared today to turn it on and now that I've turned it on I feel even sicker than what I normally feel I feel extremely sick I am so terrified that he is going to win and he's in the lead by a hundred thousand votes right now 7 p.m. eastern time, correction 11 p.m. eastern time

Oliver North documentary

Interesting documentary gives an insiders look into Norths run for senate in 1994

Author Upton Sinclair

When I saw his pic. On the history channel and heard what he did I just melted with pride for him.

He is the author who exposed the deplorable, inhumane conditions that early 20th century workers were exposed to in the United States meat packing plants! His actions created critical reforms that saved many lives!

I support fellow social critic and author Upton Sinclair!

Quote of the day

"On these streets there is no time for love, just hate"

Important, eye opening documentary

This was an educational andvery insightful documentary. It aired on www.axstv.com

I can't tell you when it will air next, but I think your best bet will be to go to the website.

I'm not remaining in America if Trump wins, I began researching alternatives, months ago.

(I can only go to places that would permit me to continue to draw on my social security benefits, my only income. $8,646 annually)

Sanders has repeatedly acknowledged that these "award" amounts are absolutely not enough for basic survival;

(and after you reading my blog for 9.5 years I'm sure you've come to the same conclusion!)

12 News Phoenix

"O.k. we're going to go ahead and throw up!"

Newscaster referring to how shes going to put up this weeks weather forecast.

Quote of the day

Courage is being afraid but going on anyway.

Dan Rather

Adoptee 4x

Adoptees are 4x more likely to commit suicide then non adopted!

That speaks volumes!

Nautv

https://youtu.be/Hjnn4RBwJEY

Bernie Sanders

The main thing that gave me the motivation to go to an event that I knew would be a logistical nightmare due to my disabilities, was the knowledge that my 18 y.o. friend would be meeting me there.

Sadly, she was late and got locked out. I took detailed notes, will post soon.

In its totality, Sanders only spoke for 40 minutes. For me, it was a repeat of his past rallies.

Talk about a day to go down in history! I also received my dna test from ancestry.com!

Quote of the day

"I went to college for one day, then flew to Malibu!" Sam Lavery

Definition

Yes, I coined the term years ago

A magical place

Built by Elena Snyder in southwestern Arizona! (Ive never been, but found online).

Seems like

Nearly every one ive met since 94 is either really dumb, addict, crazy, criminal, or all of the above

On the other side of the coin, everyone I meet was born with a silver spoon.

I never meet anyone who could even remotely relate to the life I've had thus far.

That being said; I have absolutely nothing to say to ANYONE

Crying

Unrelenting nerve and muscle pain has significantly worsened, and I dont honestly know whether I should go to e.r. or to pain management.

Narcotics are completely useless.

Pbs nova

Absolutely INCREDULOUS

Seems like they're everywhere

6 e.m.t.s., more emergency medical resources wasted, passed out drunks on every street corner.

All in all, the Native Americans, tend to travel in large friendship and/or family groups.

But there's a subset who are always alone, asking me for money and or passed out on sidewalks, Starbucks, etc.

This particular man, once they got him off the mens room floor, I guess he refused e.r. because he walked to Starbucks and fell asleep there.

Im confused on why there are so many who travel alone, always drunk/because its a given they have a large family who love them, him, her.

Likely, the Starbucks store mgr. Will also throw this particular man out.

Australia 1993

Elana

https://youtu.be/fCohhaV31rA

Occasionally I write cartoons

UI wish I had the drawings for you, but you have my permission to draw it yourself.

If you turn it in for publish, please credit my name

(Inspiring by panhandler)

Trump and/or his supporter is wearing shirt that says; born with silver spoon.

He (she) sees a panhandler , whose sign reads: "anything helps" and yells:

"GET A JOB!"

She/he turns to father (who wears shirt that says "daddy, sugar daddy" possibly)

and she holds up a sign that says;

"14 million helps"

(In real life we all know daddy isn't asking for payback)

I'm half Russian Jew

Im trying to find out if any aspects of my personality are connected in any wY, to my cultural heritage.

So, one of the things I read: The Russians feel that the Americans, (such as cashiers, shoppers) are always smiling in public at strangers. They find it pretentious, phony, quite frankly, so do I.

Quote of the night

"I choose to live because I have huge friendship and family support system but Im lucky, not everyone has that!"

(He also has enormous financial resources)

Flashback Australia

End extreme poverty initiative 2016

https://youtu.be/5KXga05LZuk

Havent seen it yet, im guessing I'll have a pretty cynical feeling about it all since Ill Never b anything but extremely poor.

So, likely the extremely poor will only get more desperate with each passing year.

Wage stagnation, inflation, unaffordable housing/

Hope?

Fugedaboutit

Quote of the night

Jerry asks a man who just converted to Judaism, if he enjoyed his workout at the gym

"I stayed in the hot tub the entire time, I had a good Jewish workout!"

Book t.v.

The d.c. book festival

Below deck

"Who smiles constantly?!! Her resting face is a smile. Only dogs and crazy people smile constantly!"

Deck hand about her new coworker

Quote of the night

"Women now have no choice but to go out and work, and they don't want to, but their daddies can't make ends meet anymore!"

Quote of the night

"Thank GOD there was no karaoke! Or maybe there was and I blocked it out!" Anthony B.

Beautiful!

Www.lovehasnolabels.com

That's the consensus

I hear some version of it daily.

"Home is where your family is"

If its true, then I think it's 100 percent fair to say, that I've been homeless all my life.

Simmons concert for military

Question for Gene from female military officer was:

"How many women have you slept with?"

After he whispered the answer to her, she replied WHAT?! NO WAY!!

Gene_"Im a very religious man and the bible orders us to spread our seed!!!"

Excerpt of Le's article

"By using good street smarts, you can avoid being the victim of a violent crime"

(Written shortly before her dead body was found on what was supposed to be her wedding day!)

Le was 24 , when she was murdered inside a Yale University lab.

Quote of the night

"I've been through alot in my life, it takes ALOT to break me! Israel

The men here r a mess

Its really tragic. The single men in Flagstaff r a complete mess, most seem to have extremely severe developmental disabilities.

Im 18 "live"

https://youtu.be/jXZcJojTucg

Flock of seagulls

https://youtu.be/F6HiBxGRfzI

Missing Persons

https://youtu.be/IasCZL072fQ

Shooting star lyrics

Johnny died one night

Died in his bed

Bottle of whiskey, sleeping tablets by his head

Johnnys life passed him by like a warm summer day

If you listen to the wind you can still hear him play

Chopped

"My skill comes from all my years in the kitchen!" 10 y.o. Christopher Pappas referencing his 7 years of cooking experience.

What is an intellectual?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual

Louanne Barton

"She was just a sassy sex kitten who could sing!"

Www.axstv.com

Reel to real

Stevie Ray Vaughan

Haircut time!

Schedules | AXS TV

Schedules | AXS TV



So much better then mtv and vh1 ever was!

Beegees on the beach

The Beegees

The beegees in bed

Beegees fashion

The Bee Gees

A huge aspect of the appeal of many 60s, 70s, and 80s musicians is the fashion and costumes, for me.

The Bee Gees

The bee gees

One of my top favorites. Just watched the bio on

Www.axstv.com/rocklegends

Doing the math

I've calculated that in order to simply SUBSIST in Flagstaff, I would need to quadruple my income to

$48,000 year

Any questions?

Axstv

True story of an American pacifist. (Never seen, looks phenomenal)

The x factor

http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/the-x-factor/news/a393462/simon-cowell-changing-x-factor-age-ranges/

Walk the line

"JOHNNY CASH PROPOSES ON STAGE, to June Carter Cash

Quote of the night

"When u got a singin voice you gotta use it! Johnny Cash to June Carter Cash

The blogosphere

Only 7 percent of the world's bloggers are over 50! (I'm 53)

Badfinger

https://youtu.be/XonFZjuyc6E

Quote of the day

"Every independent princess still NEEDS a Prince! Founder "seeking arrangement"

This is life with lisa ling

Workshops on "pick up artistry" for men, interesting!

Started job in 05

Still doing my p/t job counseling the homeless and its one of the most meaningful aspects of my life, very fulfilling

Quote of the day

"We had nice Jewish sex!" Seth Rogen

Poverty is serious ongoing crisis

For 70% of the year as an example 2/3 of each month I am in fight or flight mode trying to figure out how to live on $3 a day for everything. The biggest thing that puts you in fight or flight mode is Crisis food crisis

All of my burners as well as my oven have very very bad and everything is turned on no it's not gas but it's electric.

I tried calling the maintenance man in here I actually have a long list of things that need to be repaired, he was stupid enough to bust my water heater even though I told him that there was a risk that could happen and to be very very careful he flooded nearly all of my apartment so I simply do not trust him and hear it

So the combination of situation with the stove as well as the oven  is a serious ongoing crisis it makes it very very difficult to function at all/im always mentally in fight or flight as I try to problem solve

If I sell the car I could finally go down and spend some time in Sedona as well as have a few weeks with extra food so obviously that's not a long-term solution even if I did use mountain lift due to the bad ice here  you have to pay out of pocket and it's pretty expensive!

UC events you want to participate in true meet up but you don't have financial means to do any of them

I'd like to go back and visit The free thinkers at their meeting place people bring their dogs but I do not patronize business that allow non service dogs into their establishment so that's really not an option....

The car is drivable but I don't want to run it into the ground even though the repair would be affordable to most people it's not affordable to me. As you know trying to run more than one errand in a day on this is absolutely exhausting and requires a great deal of walking.

Been watching a lot of Soul Train Dance videos a lot of concerts a lot of www.axstv.com which is everything to do with music and concerts!

When my head is completely surrounded with music then I typically feel over the moon happy/but its a distraction nit a solution.

The overwhelming majority of the time I don't like unsolicited advice from anybody but especially not rich people because they have no clue and no business giving advice when they never had to live through any of this. But if you're not a millionaire and you want to give me advice especially if you've gone through poverty and you want to give me advice and I'm open-minded.

I could set up a go fund me account but the bottom line is just sick to death of living like this

Quote of the day

"I just need clear concise communication. IT'S REALLY SIMPLE!" Captain Lee

My symbiotic relationship with the radio

I was literally just thinking about a song called throwing it all Away and I was wondering actually what it was called I knew that part of the lyrics had to do with Throwing It All Away. Very next song they played on the radio was called Throwing It All Away by Phil Collins.

This is nearly a daily tjing with me and media for 20 plus years!

quote of the day

"I feel like I want to follow all my dreams" Elena

The Color Purple

right now I'm watching Whoopi Goldberg be abused by her husband on the movie called The Color Purple. Whoopi Goldberg actually wrote a book that influenced me to flee from my stalker on 4/7/2011 abandon my apartment leave my car and all my belongings and buy a one-way ticket 2400  miles to Phoenix to check into the domestic violence shelter!

Thank you Whoopie!

Killer Instinct with Chris Hansen

Quote of the day

"I'm ALL alone in the world" karen kemp referencing the 1991 murder of her husband Jesse Peewee Whitley

Business insider

Www.businessinsider.com/7-traits-of-highly-intelligent-people-2015-6

(A highly intelligent list!)

A tortured life

Actor Anthony Perkins did have a fascinating and tortured life I can certainly relate to the title of his memoir. Anyone who doesn't know about his life there are some fascinating articles online about him that I highly recommend.

He starred in Psycho 1960

Psycho

Watching now for first time. Took me 41 years to work up the courage to watch!

Funny, seems like I know them all

http://www.cnbc.com/2015/03/09/more-millionaires-than-ever-are-living-in-the-us.html

After 15 years

I'd say it took me about 15 years on the streets to realize the reason why I barely ever met another woman in my situation. It's because ninety-nine times out of a hundred woman's extended family will do whatever they have to do to keep her from having to experience the brutality and dangers of life on the streets

Quote of the night

"DON'T you even think about judging another human being until you've walked a mile in their shoes" Frank

The amy linn episode

Regeneration

It never ceases to amaze me the way humans recover mentally/emotionally from severe trauma.

Because I see it in myself, I can only credit my ancestors for the change I see in myself.

Mama Cass

Did you know that mama Cass Elliott thought very highly of the Bahai religion? Neither did I, its quite surprising to me. I learned it at a Bahai fireside tonight.

(No, I'll never b Bahai. Confirmed humanist and Atheist forever)

All things considered

All in all, Flagstaff brings out the best in my personality that Baltimore never could...

Hot!

This image is spectacular

Neil young then

Visualize

You can't permanently change your apartment to make it feel like your own, ever since I moved in here is something that I didn't know whether I was redoing all of my kitchen cabinets. Hideous.

So I looked up removable contact paper images kitchen. I wasn't any way that you can make your home feel like your own!

Clean home, clear mind

In apts, you hav no choice but to live with carpeting. I lose my mind when it traps every bad thing under the sun and hurts your health.

I try to hav it shampooed annually.

2012 journal

Shooting star

Don't you know that you are a shooting star

Bad company

Top 20 songs that resonate SO STRONG Ly with me.!

Watching bad company in concert

The middle

There are two types of people in this world those who are meant to live their life to the fullest and those who are meant to read about those people. . .

I am the latter!  Brik

Hopi festival

Hopi festival

I was there, amazing show

Sunset

Please ignore traffic light

Quote of the night

"Im just grateful to finally have found someone normal to talk to!"

Saudi referencing a man who is someone besides her stalker!

Diggin this movie music!

Had no clue Cannon and Harvey are actors!

Crps/rsd

Synchronistically, even while watching this, I have cold burning feet with pins and needles, cold hands, my right wrist is throbbing and being stabbed as we speak. That's what its like to b in this bidy. Chostochondritis, feels like heart attack. Left earache, blurry vision.

https://youtu.be/OgJNo6M279g

The x factor

"Your fantastically nuts and I love it! Cowell to living doll

Watching bob Dylan 30th anniversary concert

The concert was exactly 8 weeks after my 30th bday!

Diggin these az clouds

Quote of the day

One criminal to another. "Don't worry, nobody knows where we are, unless you are registered to vote!"

(I was forced to stop voting, since I am being stalked and can easily be tracked)

Howard Rollins

http://www.aaregistry.org/historic_events/view/life-short-and-bittersweet-howard-rollins-jr

Check it out

Howard Rollins wiki

(Phenomenal actor, roots, in the heat of the night)

Lynyrd skynyrd tribute concert

Watching lynyrd skynyrd one more for the road on axstv

The person I want 2b

Despite the thousands and thousands of experiences that I personally had with black on white racism now that I've left Baltimore approach every interaction every meeting with an African American in Arizona as if I'm living a brand-new life (without those tragic experiences in my background.) As far as I'm concerned every single human being deserves a fresh chance so I do everything in my power to put those memories out of my mind when I'm making new African American acquaintances or friends....

Blue bloods

" the enemy of my enemy is my friend"

1957 movie quote

"By the time you grow up men wont b wearing guns"

"Echoes of the search"

https://youtu.be/CvR9arM-MuM

Quora

Someone on quora asked:

Would u play 1 round of Russian Roulette for 5 million dollars?

My response: yes.

Deadliest journeys

"In the u.s. your just living to pay bills"

deadliest Journeys on pivot TV

Baltimore public transit may have met its match. It takes 6 hours to go 40 miles in Guinea!

I survived a tornado

That's the name of the show I'm watching.

I'm pleased to say that's one of the few things I have not had to survive! although I have seen tornadoes I have never been so close as to incur any sort of major injury or loss.

As I watch Weather Channel I'm thinking about how prior to deciding where in the United States to live over the course of the last 22 years I have always strongly considered climate.

predominantly violent . While onecan never wholly guarantee that they won't be the victim of this or that you can certainly gauge  likelihood.

  from mudslides to floods , tornadoes to earthquakes there are places in the nation where you're not nearly as likely to become a vic. But when thinking about storm sandy, who knew?!

obviously with climate change there are fewer and fewer places to run in the world

Now

It feels like someone is hammering on the back of my hand while someone else is stabbing the back of my hand with knives while concurrently all limbs are burning and stung with bees.

Not to mention the spine pain thats had me mostly bedridden since prepping for the carpet cleaning guy who was a no show on Thursday!

Tornado alley

"The hardest thing is to try to survive when you are all alone!" Stephanie; after sending her children away to find help

Homeless young adults documentary

https://youtu.be/HL8NB8RDQfQ

Today

I cant stand up without screaming out in pain. Degenerative disc disease

What I told my fb friends

I was the vic. Of a long series of violent crimes including torture, beteen 1994  and 2013. I was mugged in 1982. Survivor, live to tell.

The Beatles

I owned the 45 shown in this photo.

The beatles

Amazing art by the late Denise Collins

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/131237776616102779/

Wings - Band On The Run (Original Video)

Count on someone else if you want it to b done wrong or not done at all

I've been preparing for weeks to get the carpet cleaned.  Its alot of very difficult very painful physical labor, as I have to get everyting i own, off of the carpet and into the kitchen and the bathroom.  Why?  Because even though I have a storage unit, nobody at the complex cleaned it out prior to me moving in and it's very large and impossivble for me to adequately clean.......

So, all that work and the carpet cleaning guy didn't show up!

Two chain smokers moved in downstairs.  Having severe chest pain, mild cough, wheezing.  I'd ask them not to smoke on their porch but, their tough girls very unfriendly, the "don't fuck with me" kinda girls!

So at urgent care they prescribed me 2 inhalers.  Cant' fill for a week, since i have 3 bucks to last 7 days......

The fact that I was able to complete the physical labor without help shocked me, since if i walk for 1/2 hour the back and feet pain is unbearable and i have to get into bed.  I applied for a job in a preschool, because I was so happy about my body surprising me.  In the email I described to the employer alot about me, like i havent had a job in 13 years.......................because as a very disabled woman they need to know the truth.

a man I didn't know gave me a beautiful compliment today that had nothing to do with my appearance.  I was so encouraged by what he said regarding his observation of me, I thought, maybe I will try to work part time.  All I've had to eat today is a bologna sandwich and crackers.  This has been my diet all week, not enough calories since ran out of money and had to put 2 dollars in the gas tank today.

8/24/1996 essentially homeless

Renting very small office in somones house. Can't bring anything I own with me.

I had lived for 2 weeks as f/t liv in nanny. They knew in advance Id b in ocean city for a few days with my friend, I decided to return early.

My boss went all through my personal belongings must hav read my journals, discovered I was politically librral. I had no car, and theres no public transit in Shadyside, Md. She fired me instantly upon my return from o.c. (It was in written contract that nobody in their fam. Smokes indoors. They broke contract, I complained, as Im severely allergic.

They bought me a one way ticket to Baltimore city at night and I Had no clue where to go. ID DO A night here a night there.

By about 8/6 Carolone and her hubby Shawn let me rent a small very dirty office. They didnt move anything out for me, I "slept" on the floor of the office.

Here is my journal entry

8/24/1996

"Where do I start, what approach should I take? It's not too late.

Baltimore is driving me to drink!

I finally slept normally last night I was the only one home.

I was I  living room (after dark) when a rock, which I thought was a bullet, came through the window.

I screamed and instinctively dropped flat to the floor (cuz I live in a u.s. war zone)

I crawled to the landline, not unlike a snake. I called 911.  I just want some peace, waitin on the police. 

They say "We can't do nuttin, aint no crime  been proven. (They made fun of me for thinking it was a bullet)

There were no witnesses they reiterated.

No mo no mo
Just leave me alone!
I aint hurtin noone
Just chillin here at "home!"

Ill b honest to a fault

If I had a choice between a life of homelessness and poverty or getting murdered painlessly I would have rather been shot in the back and killed in February 1994 then to have had to live this kind of life. You know I am honest to a fault

Whole Foods

The bulk

Most of the people that I meet have low to extremely low IQs.

But it's an even more common occurrence in people from one if three ethnic groups that I wont name, where the bulk are ether severely developmentally disabled or just dumb as a doorknob.

At the time that they were working on debunking racism stereotypes they determined that size of brain is identical the brains looks identical even though the ethnic groups were different;then why can't I have a conversation with anyone that it is normal. I had a more enjoyable interaction with my 7 year old friend walking home from the bus today can I do with most people. Because Levi is a really quick learner and he loves to learn.

Here in the privacy of my own home I can Google whatever I want to Google and I can type in whatever ethnic group I want to type in  by asking the Google search engine particular questions!    I want to find out whether other Americans are having similar experiences as me, or, am I exaggerating? I learned that ny perceptions are sadly and strikingly real.

I told the bus driver today that I didn't have my ID because it was temporarily missing in my apt. She charged me doubleand added on a lecture: You really need to have it with you all the time!

  I just got through telling you it's MISSING its LOST!

I have to repeat myself over and over and over again with everybody! As you can see there are some things that are going to follow me no matter where in this country I live .

They don't seem to comprehend even the tiniest of questions. A few years back I noticed that on days that I didn't have my watch if I asked couple of people throughout the day what time it was they would invariably give me the wrong time

I was trying to exchange an item for another item in a different department at Safeway.  I had to repeat the same story/phrase six different times !before the Safeway employee comprehended that I don't want to exchange it for the same exact item!

I'm wondering to  myself why does he think I would exchange it for the same exact thing that doesn't make any sense!

I think I told you this story before but I was calling a clinic a local Clinic run by one of the ethnic groups that I mentioned earlier.

I called on the phone and asked if John Smith still works there  the receptionist replied  there's no John Smith here but would you like to speak to Jon Jones ???!

OMFG

Postcard collector

This week was good in some ways

I was speaking with my very dear friend Carol in Las Vegas and the conversation gave me a sense of hope that I probably haven't had it about 12 years, time will tell on whether or not I can hang onto this Outlook but it is looking like I just might be able to

Luv dem az clouds