"Census Testing"

I ask the librarian which room the census testing is in. As she sends me into the appropriate room she says "shhhh" to me. I ask her why she is shushing me when the testing does not begin for another 15 minutes.

I look around and I'm not sure what the protocol is. I look at the test admin. and say: "Hi, I'm Elana Snyder and I'm here for the testing"

He looks at me like I have 3 heads, and why would I make such an announcement. I ask "What am I supposed to do?"

The room is icy cold with air conditioning which concerns me. I have a heavy winter coat and hat and boots but no leg warmers or scarf to cover my face.

He said: "Sign in over there and then da da da da." I could not here the rest of the instructions.

I signed in and said now what.

He said "Well find your neighborhood on the grid"

(Boy I sure am not a natural and sounding emotionally detached. The tone he holds and in the rest of the room, is one of flatness where you ought not show your personality!"

I saw that grid and I came so close to saying "What in the hell is this?!" In fact I'm sure that's the tone one could probably here in my voice though I used no such inappropriate language. I said "I don't know what this is and I don't know how to use it" Even he had a hard time finding my "grid code"

An African American woman walks in the room to take test. She's in her 50's. I think about her probable educational disadvantage with this testing especially if she is from a Baltimore public school.

He finds me my grid # and I sit down. I still don't know what to do. I see a folder of materials with forms that look like one should only use a pencil with. We are given pens. I ask if we are aloud to start. I just barely finished when instead of saying "Is everyone finished?" He said "Put your materials in the folder and hand it in now!"

I turn my materials in. He photocopies my i.d.

He reads out loud and we are to read along. Yet, he is making up the script and not reading the paperwork directly. This is a stressor for me as we are supposed to be following along. So, I'm going more by the written words then by what he is saying.

On the preliminary form it asks if you have any federal debt. How much? What kind? Well, nobody ever mentioned I was supposed to bring my bills or my credit report along. I know I have student loan debt, but I don't know how much. I figure I'll be automatically nixed or that any monies earned as a census taker will just get eaten up by the loans.

He reads the rules:

No talking
No cheating
No reaching into your purse
No starting the test before buzzer goes off

No smoking. I giggle, it's a library. He smiles in return.

The paperwork asks if you've ever been fired: "In the last 5 years" This is ironic because www.urbanitebaltimore.org has issued "me" an assignment to write on the topic of "fired" and I've been eager to do so as I know so much about it. so, I'm highly qualified to write the article, but am I highly qualified to be a census taker?" Shweww. I think aboutmy hx. No, it's been more then 5 years since I was fired. good for fed govt bad for the article!

We're given 30 min. to take the test. It's harder then I thought. I've needed glasses for 6 plus years and this test is making it very evident. I have alot of floaters which does present a big problem when I"m reading, and is presenting a problem today. I can't concentrate. I feel cold. The woman next to me says: "It's burning up in here" "You have got to be kidding. It's 20 degrees in here!" I say. I whispered to her: "You must be menopausal"

We are instructed to take the test fast. I don't know how to do anyting fast so I take my time. I only complete 15 of the 28 questions. Afterwards we are told we only need to have 10 questions correct. Boy those sure aren't real world odds, are they?

After the test he says:

"I need Elana Snyder"

"You failed to fill out these 3 items" One is about my "MILITARY PREFERENCE!" It frightens me because there is no option of N/A. He is in the military himself. I said: "I don't want to go into the military!"

The answer options provided are ambiguous. Scary! Sure hope I don't end up on the battle lines in Iraq!

I can't wait to get out of that room. A woman says to me "I'm waiting for the test scores" I reply "That's an option?" "Well, yea, she says like I'm an idiot. "It was written on the form"

I have no desire to do anyting but eat a egg and cheese croissant and a boston creme donut from dunkin donuts. And that is exactly what I did!