Saturday, August 15, 2009

"What's better about life and what isn't"

What's better? I no longer have to hide my journals, my food, my underwear, my quarters under my blankets for fear of daily break ins. I've just begun sleeping. I estimate that I haven't slept since about 1974 or 1975, and in the last 4 nights or so, I've begun to sleep. I seem to sleep best in the living room which creates more of a buffer against the noise of motorcycles, trucks and broken mufflers. As long as carroll county residents aren't in their cars, they're very open, not suspicious like Baltimoreans. However the bulk of the folks i've met here, are originally from balto, and like me came here to get away from crime.

I've been able to personalize my apt. without fear of robberies, bought crimson colored bathmats, aquarium designed shower curtain and hand towel; a coffee mug that says "100 percent qualified, attentive, life enhancing friendly caring social worker. I have been lusting after that mug for a year. They sell "career" mugs in greetings and readings in hunt valley. The pain of Fibromyalgia is excruciating and round the clock, but now that I'm not in constant fear of being murdered, I can go on more appts. and find ways of lessening the pain. I'm still waiting (and perhaps I shouldn't hold my breath) for medicare to cover massage, chiropractic, and accupuncture, and dental and glasses!

What Isn't Better

Here's what's not better....he roads. I'm thoroughly disgusted with the violent way in which people drive.
It's so sad, that, there is a good chance that I'll be killed every time I go out in my car. Some things I'll have to stop doing altogether. For example, there is a 7 mile stretch of Black Rock Road that I frequently have to drive, and a 5 miles stretch of Falls. I've got multiple people passing me over the double line at 100 mph. There are people coming from the opposite direction in oversized vehicles also going at 70 or more mph. Many of them are riding the yellow line, or even going over it.

If my car breaks down on these rural roads, I'm a dead duck!  Because people are driving too fast to be able to stop for a broken down car, a car abiding road rules and doing the speed limit, a car who is making a careful left turn for example. I really do feel endangered. Everyone tailgates me. If you see my Buick, I advise you don't tailgate because it will not cause me to go faster, in fact it might make me slow down. I plan to write a letter to the editor on how deadly our society is in this respect. I just can't see myself making a long term commitment to places that are so car dependent!

 Prior to 1993, I can't recall American roads being this deadly. I was not scared all of the time, and I was not constantly being bullied by folks in bigger cars than me. Yes, women can be just as bad as men. And the risk multiplies with  drivers combing their hair, texting, eating and putting on makeup!   Watching the road or watching out for peds is not even a thought in their minds! Sad, sad, sad. I feel powerless to change this.

I'm still doing an aggressive job hunt, I use at least 10 job search websites, some are specific to nannying. I haven't had an interview since April............................It's very discouraging.

The property is gorgeous where I live but I rarely see any signs of human life on the grounds. I"m one of the only ones who uses a porch light after dark. I don't like how dark our property is.......................................

If it weren't for the philanthropist who put $1500 into getting my car repaired,  getting out of La pew would not have been possible. she probably saved me from being murdered...................................

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