People's choice awards 2015 full show

90 Day Fiance | Season 2 Episode 2 | I'm Home America

Cracker Barrel

wild maIne blueberry pancakes with turkey sausage

Boy did I luck out

I'm shopping for second hand sheet music so that I can perform vocally for some folks and within 5 minutes of seeking sheet music I found this book that I used to own and this was the most prominent book that I used back when I used to play the piano, so for me to find the same exact book within 5 minutes of shopping was really awesome

1975 love child

Once a love child always a love child

Part 2 Looking back at 1/29/1996

6.25 an hour times 26 hours a week equals 164.50

164.5 a week times 4.5 weeks equals 740.25 monthly earnings

that equals 8775 a year which will still put me below the poverty line

but if I can work 40 hours a week then I will make 12k a year, if I pay 400 a month in rent then I will b paying 40% of my wages on housing, and "recommend" you never ever pay more then 25% of your monthly income in housing.

But if I am not able to find work beyond the part time job, I will be forced to pay 54% of my income in housing.

I was impressed with both folks who interviewed me.  I hope to only have to keep it 3 to 4 months becauase of my deep desire to get out of this deadly city

At the light rail stop I sa 2 teen boys.  Even though the one boy was standing next to a garbage can he threw his fast food cup into the river.  Not only is it against the law but it brakes my heart.

He went on to break another law in quick succession when he got on the light rail train without purchasing a ticket.  That can result in a uge fine.  Once he got on the train he told his friend that he has a disease called "clap"

Upon my arrival at the Woodberry light rail stop, I stopped by the Clipper Mill memorial.  (the clipper hill studio fire)  Numerous items had been left at the memorial earlier today. Flowers, cards and teddy bears.  Makes me a little bit sad.  Apparently today is one of the deceased firemen's birthday. 

"looking back at 1/29/1996

Estelle's dogs woke me at 6 am so I only got 4 miserable hours sleep. 

This a.m. I contacted food stamp office as well as Salvation Army regarding my need for emergency food stamps and emergency rent money.

The food stamp office said I would need to arrive before 11 a.m. but I knew with all the bus transfers and wait time I would never make it.

I spent the morning perusing the employment section/want ads.  Almost Family in Timonium are hiring but it's going to be more then a 2 hour commute one way on busses.

I went anyway because they are calling for a lot of ice and snow over the next week so I knew my situation would only get worse.

They said that as long as they can reach my references they will give me an answer in 3 days on whether or not I'm hired.

To Be Continued

Pat Travers Band - Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights)

Ram Jam - Black Betty (Official Video)

"Looking back at 1/27/1996

It's been a maddening, stressful week especially since my self imposed deadline of getting out of Estelle's* house.

I've sent out about 17 resumes.  I took the Income Maintenance Specialist test so that I can work as a food stamp caseworker but I failed miserably.

I met a guy who goes by "Ice Man" who works at the Information Desk of the State Office Building.  He asked me out.  I also met a guy named mr. almoni he told me to call him Mr. All Money!  He lives 3 dorrs down from me on Keswick Road in the Hampden section of Baltimore city and is 98 years old!  Remarkably he has lived at this same address since 1918!

After the security guard at the State ofc. building helped me with directions he gave me a hug.  I talked to him while waiting on bus 27/he's very intelligent, fascinating great conversationalist.

On Thursday, I went to Raven Bookstore hoping to find some of my friends hanging out there and see if any of them can give me a ride to the Oregon Ridge Nature center but I had no luck.

I am literally jumping out of my skin, I can't concentrate and there is always some sort of obstacle to me finding work.  I have just 70 bucks to my name and not a penny in food stamps

Henry from the Raven had me come over to his place so that I would listen to his poetry.   He's a nice guy but intense.  He dropped me at the Rotunda afterwards where I killed 7 hours!  Hard to believe how much time I kill in that place.


Made a friend named "mark" who lives on Chestnut/just as sweet as can be.  He took in a family once that is a tempting offer however I'm afraid to ask because I have already been in 2 very dangerous living situations and don't need any more trauma.

me and Time magazine

I love it you know how I have to section of my blog called quoted? Well me in Time magazine picked the same exact thing to state for quote of the week both of us chose one of the things that Barack Obama said during his State of the Union address he said if you truly believe you could support a family on less than $15,000 a year then why don't you try it

Producer Jonathan Slade

Eatin' Crabs Chesapeake Style: http://youtu.be/5t0_gNoXxAg

Commercials I love

Pampers | Love, Sleep & Play: http://youtu.be/z4pnwBScep8

I am watching a rerun of deadly devotion Cynthia Garcia

so this is the episode about the Hells Angels in the episode they state that the Hells Angels have 5 chapters in the state of Arizona. So I just googled it just to find out that the same street that I took a drive on yesterday has a Hells Angels clubhouse!

I did not know that until today I just know that that's the neighborhood I used to live in and I was broken into constantly. The Hells Angels have a very secret presence in this town because I had no idea that they were even here until I just googled them, Wow. I am purposely not going to put Hell's Angels in the search engine of this particular blog posting.

saying things that make a difference

I love that blue shirt!

I never knew she felt that way, today my friend of 14 years gave me a compliment that really made a difference: "Elena one of the reasons why I admire you so much is because you are willing to do absolutely anything that you have to do to make a better life for yourself!"

I've said this in an older blog keep a journal and when people compliment you family friends strangers tell you something that is really meaningful writing in your journal. When you need spiritual food look back and read those journal entries, it can really make a difference :-)

Southwest architecture

Check out this cool and funky house!

Never give up yourself

Sex and The City: Carrie Needs Love in Paris: http://youtu.be/tuYiQgdkhjY

Flower child

10 years ago to the day I purchase this journal because the picture of this girl really exemplifies my personality at the true core;)

June 1st 2009 through January 24th 2015

I'm going to give you more information than I've ever given you before in regards to my history as a crime victim over the past 10 years/on the other hand I have to leave out the sad nitty gritty details due to the fact that there are 3 plus males who are still not in prison for what they did to me.

I initially assumed that the crimes that I endured between June 1st 2005 and may 30th 2009 we're crimes based on the color of my skin. (I am caucasion in case you didn't notice)

I did not realize but I did fear that I would be followed when I moved to Hampstead in June 2009, when I was accepted into a housing program similar to section 8, another completely blind move.

Had I realized that the perpetrators would do everything in their power to find me no matter where I went, I would not have indicated on my blog that I was in Hampstead.

Between June 1st 2009 and February 1st 2010 with the exception of one crime perpetrated by my Ridgely House neighbor, I lived a relatively safe existence. But sadly between February 1st 2010 and April 7th 2011 I would be the victim of a series of violent crimes that would make my life at Walker mews look like a "permanent day in the park"

So I fled more than 2,000 miles on April 7, 2011 because I knew that if I didn't I would be most likely be murdered.

 From April 7th 2011 until April 23rd 2013 I would have 15 to 20 more addresses. When I was back in Maryland and my formal address was in Carroll County Maryland I still informally moved a couple hundred times trying to elude capture and elude getting murdered.

Very strangely (a statistical anomaly) even though I fled more than 2,000 miles I would become the victim of a long series of strange crimes that would last until April 23rd 2013. The crimes were extremely similar to the ones I endured in Maryland although in Arizona nobody actually ever shot at me like they used to do in Maryland.

Its really pretty weird because up until April 23rd 2013 there were a lot of weird crimes scary scary stuff but it still didn't look like I would get murdered like in Maryland.

Now that's not to say that I haven't been the victim of any crimes since April 23rd 2013; because since that date I'm going to say I've been the victim of about 8 crimes.

How can a person go more than 2,000 miles and still be a target, why are the crimes so so similar to the ones that occurred in Maryland.

Did someone or some gang really invest the resources to follow me this far? I don't have the answer and I won't be able to sleep tight until I do...

I cannot tell you the details of the crimes that have occurred since June 1st 2009 because I have to save something for the book and because since the perpetrators are still not in prison it does not feel appropriate for me to put the details of the crimes here on my blog. But it's quite miraculous that I am Alive and I really don't have much of any more fight left in me at all. I do not believe that life should be a fight and I would say that mine has been since the day I was born...

surprising trivia

I don't know the details until I go to Google and read about it but boy was I surprised to find out that the musical Grease was written based on memories of the very same high school that both my adoptive as well as my biological father went to semicolon Forest Park High School of Baltimore Maryland :-) and Forest Park also comes into play with the movie diner as I told you in an earlier post now thats cool!

What a special find

In the late seventies and early eighties I owned this sheet music book, but I didn't get to bring it with me to Arizona. After only 5 minutes of shopping for sheet music tonight I found the same exact book again that I want sone commonl obviously this isn't the exact one that I owned but a duplicate. I would sit in my parents basement and play the piano and sing the songs from this book. The clerk told me that he was just going to go ahead and give it to me for free! That made it even more special

Is it a sin to be single?

The reason why I posted this is because I noticed that when I watch TV basically I noticed in the media that they put such an emphasis on actual weddings and couples do seem to be put up on a pedestal so that's when I googled singles and discrimination and I came up with this article

THE DAILY BEAST Pete Starman 3398 SHARE THIS. ARTICLE SINGLED OUT: ARE UNMARRIED PEOPLE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST? BY MAURA KELLY02.06.12 In his new book, Going Solo, New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg argues that we’re poised to become a nation dominated by single people. Just 51 percent of American adults are married, according to recent census data, and more than a quarter of all U.S. households consist of only one person. Yet singles often don’t get a lot of love—and we’re not talking about their romantic lives. Activists say that unmarried people are systematically discriminated against. They pay more for health and car insurance than married people do. They don’t get the same kind of tax breaks. Co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them. “Singleism—stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against people who are single—is largely unrecognized and unchallenged,” says activist Bella DePaulo, the author of Singled Out. DePaulo and other “singles’ rights” activists—like Sherri Langburt, who runs SingleEdition.com, a website that caters to the single community—are increasingly protesting what they say is a raw deal. If you’re picturing these fomenters as crazy-auntie types who eat a little tuna out of the can before giving it to their cats, think again. DePaulo, who got her Ph.D. from Harvard in 1979, is a psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Langburt is a successful entrepreneur. “The argument of advocates of same-sex marriage is, why do we have to be a certain kind of a couple in order to be treated fairly?” says DePaulo. “My argument is wider-reaching: why does anyone have to be part of any kind of couple to get the same federal benefits and protections as anyone else?” She adds: “People don’t notice singleism, and if their attention is called to it, they think there’s nothing wrong.” That’s why, for instance, car and health insurance companies get away with charging less for couples and families. “They can attract more business [that way],” DePaulo notes. In the process, they leave single people to essentially subsidize the benefit by paying more. “When married workers can add spouses to a health-care plan at a discount and single workers can’t add someone important to them, that’s discrimination,” says DePaulo. The U.S. government not only turns a blind eye to the problem of “singleism,” but helps enforce it, activists say. Just look at Social Security. “A childless singleton can work side by side with a childless married person, doing the same job, for the same number of years, at the same level of accomplishment—and when the married person dies, that worker can leave his or her Social Security benefits to a spouse,” says DePaulo. “The single person’s benefits go back into the system.” Unmarried people also lose out when it comes to taxes. “The U.S. tax system privileges married people in a variety of ways,” says Lily Kahng, a professor at Seattle University School of Law. In “One Is the Loneliest Number: The Single Taxpayer in a Joint Return World,” a paper recently published in the Hastings Law Journal, Kahng points out that married workers are able to transfer wealth and property to spouses—and others—tax-free, while the unmarried can’t; she concludes that the joint return penalizes single people and should be abolished. “Married people had a supermajority of political power at the time the [current tax] rules were enacted,” Kahng notes. But today? “Single people continue to be marginalized even though they comprise close to half the adult U.S. population,” she says. That might have something to do with their lack of homogeneity as a group. Says Klinenberg, “There are so many different kinds of singles”—unmarried parents and the childless, those who cohabitate with partners and those who live alone, the young and the old—“that single people have had trouble organizing as a political bloc. But there are now so many ... it’s hard not to pay attention to them.” That’s especially true given how much they contribute to society—more, activists argue, than married couples with families. “On average, singles have more disposable income,” Klinenberg says. “They're fueling urban economies that would be in much worse shape without them. And compared to married people, they’re more likely to spend time with neighbors, to participate in public events, and to volunteer.” (If any of that surprises you, think about how much less free time your married friends and colleagues have after their children are born.) Singles may also be contributing more at the office, without being compensated for it, activists say. “Studies have shown that singles are often paid less than married people, even if they share the same title, responsibilities, and years of experience,” says Langburt. “And if you agree that time equals dollars, then it doesn’t stop there: there’s maternity leave, all the time off leading up to the pregnancy for doctors’ visits, and sick days.” On top of that, it’s de rigueur for companies to provide benefits for spouses and children—without providing equivalent perks for singles. The prejudicial treatment can also be more blatant, activists say. An unmarried friend of Klinenberg’s with a high-power job at a social-justice organization was informed in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t be getting a raise—because her married co-workers needed the money more than she did. “One of her partners told her, ‘We all have families to take care of, and you don’t,’” Klinenberg says. “These are people whose life work is social justice.” Outside the office, the biased thinking persists, activists say. “For the single homeowner or property renter, discrimination is rampant, because the federal Fair Housing Act does not prohibit marital-status discrimination,” Langburt notes. “Not only do landlords discriminate again singles; so do real-estate and mortgage brokers. The problem is that it’s hard to pinpoint and track these incidents. Single women are the No. 1 home buyers in the country, but there’s still a silent stigma that these women don’t have money to qualify or that they will be a flight risk.” Historically, governments have passed laws encouraging marriage and families in the hopes that doing so would decrease the likelihood that the state would need to care for abandoned children. But policies that benefit the married shouldn’t be substitutes for more universal social programs, says marriage historian Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. “The penalties for being single in this country are worse than in Europe, where individuals have guaranteed access to health care, and they have options beyond a spouse’s death benefits for staying above the poverty line as they age.” They pay more for health and car insurance than married people. They don’t get the same kind of tax breaks. Co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them. And let’s take a minute to talk about age. The Terman Life-Cycle Study, which started following 1,528 men and women in 1921 from age 11 for the duration of their lives, found that two groups of people lived the longest: those who got married and stayed married ... and those who stayed single. Tell that to the insurance companies. Share PROMOTED STORIES STILL CRAZY — FOR EACH OTHER — AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AARP WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT TAYLOR SWIFT'S HOUSE LOOKS LIKE LONNY MAGAZINE AN EXTREMELY BRILLIANT WAY TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE BILLS.COM HEALTHY CASSEROLE RECIPES FOOD NETWORK Recommended by SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST NEWSLETTER Cheat Sheet Politics Beast Breaking News and Exclusives Culture Beast I have read and agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. SUBMIT

Black Betty

Black Betty: http://youtu.be/AAVGdTznjDE

boom boom out go the lights

Pat Travers Band - Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights): http://youtu.be/U4XbV3gCm2Y

do it right the first time? fugedaboutit!

everything's just as broken in Arizona is it was in Maryland. Nothing gets done right small nothing gets done right big.

I was out less than 2 hours tonight and both things I attempted to do we're done wrong I'm only going to talk about one right now, this would qualify as a small thing but what is so maddening is it happens every single time.

Retail restaurants medical care it doesn't matter everything's broken.

This evening I did something I very rarely do I went through a fast food drive-thru and iconic hamburger place in northern Arizona.

I go up to the speaker and I order a mushroom burger and a root beer. The girl calls back through the microphone she states that'll be a hot dog and a root beer right? I said no that's not what I said I said mushroom burger and beer.

Sorry!  she said

After about maybe a seven or 10 minute wait and it is well worth it in this case, she States the price: that'll be $9.50 she said

Me-since when is 450 + 250 =9.50!

Sorry ! she said

I'm just wondering when everybody is going to stop being sorry and do something right for a change?

If any of my readers are experiencing society has completely broken on every level please tell me your story!

Journal every day

I enjoy buying the plain notebooks and then decorating them in my own style as you can see

Southwest architecture

Here's another one at the end of a cul-de-sac

Southwest architecture

Here's another one!

6 mile round trip

So I'm thinking oh my god these views are spectacular I had no idea such beauty existed in this town. Within seconds is having this thought I see the sign I see this amazing sign that states exactly what it was that I was thinking :-)

I love architecture

I've always loved architecture and I've always enjoyed looking at different houses this is a recent photo I took of a house near me. Just like the rest of America its just rich and poor in my town no middle class. So it is surprising to find that many of the houses near me look very expensive. I think it's 40% of the houses in my town are owned by people that own two houses and live the Snowbird life

St Mary's Food Bank

I went to st. Mary's Food Bank yesterday oh maybe I already told you this, and they gave me 3 boxes of food. I gave 60% of it to the man behind me. I said to him we're creating like a Giving Circle.

I was extremely impressed with how organized st. Mary's is. When you pull up to the building there are two lanes of traffic it looks exactly like you are pulling up at your bank teller and you're in a car.

One lane is some new clients and the other lane is old clients. It was a 15 minute wait I expected that I would be the only one but instead there were rows of cars that just kept coming and coming. And obvious sign that people are not earning enough money to cover all their food expenses each month.

I went home and put the food away I had a couple of things with spinach I'm sorry lettuce little bit older but it was ok some vegetables from Mexico I didn't even know what they were they look similar to zucchini so a lot of fresh produce I was surprised in a little bit disappointed that there were no quick canned foods like macaroni and cheese or spaghetti o's I was very surprised no tuna fish no meat no milk no cheese. The reason why they are not giving out these items I am certain is because the general public is not donating that. I had a lot of cans of spaghetti sauce. A bag of white rice a lot of junk food so sweet a bag of nuts I couldn't get it open because of the safety seal. Nowadays there's three or four things I get from the grocery store every week I get at home and I can't get it open.

St Mary's is doing some wonderful things

Smartphone camera

This kind of natural beauty makes me realize why some people believe in God.

Google shut down mid post

so on Facebook I'm finding hundreds upon thousands of people who are very very ill with some diseases similar to my own and it's been nice to be back out on Facebook someone locked me out of he hacked into my account and he figured out a way to keep me locked out of my FB account for 4 years. I asked FB to just shut the account down but they never did that well I guess now I'm kind of glad they didn't.

I'm afraid there isn't really much of anything normal happening in my life right nowbut if something normal or positive does happen I will certainly let you know about it

I'm temporarily on home health care and they sent a nurse out here yesterday and she's someone who I know from the community and who I met 4 years ago and she's one of the few nurses from the Behavioral Health Center who really really impressed me although she is a standard nurse.

So that was a positive thing and as long as I ok and she will come out every week and check on me. It's great when you have a rapport with someone because then you can talk about all sorts of subjects and things that might be going on in your life therefore it's more meaningful to me than just having her come out and check my vital signs.

Within the first 10 minutes of her coming out here I brought up the final exit book that I have checked out of the library for the third time. That's the right to die movement that I told you about a long time ago.

been awake 4 days

I've been awake since Saturday at 9 p.m.. It seems that I fall into some sort of an in between state or a very very light sleep on some nights but last night I didn't even get that. In that very light sleep or when you have trouble breathing that can encourage absolutely horrific nightmare said I don't even want to repeat. Well maybe I'll change my mind but for now I don't really want to put that out here

A couple of the girls on facebook said that hospitals in some cases will put people in some sort of a coma if you haven't slept for 3 days or 4 days or whatever, interested in learning more about that but more importantly perhaps I should go to a sleep clinic and be evaluated.

Even though I had violent stomach pain on Monday night all day Tuesday and then Wednesday as well which is today, on Monday I managed to walk almost 2 miles in a park that I had never been in before. That was pretty miraculous I had to do that with my new Kane. By the one mile mark my back was hurting extremely severely but I was able to complete it complete the loop. Definitely felt good to be away from the cars and breathing clean air and be away from the noise it didn't look particularly pretty likely because it is the dead of winter and it just happened to be a freaky warm day.

That particular part didn't really do anything for me as far as beauty is concerned but on the drive I took the other day I was very shocked I found that even within 3 miles of where I live I found a lake that was half frozen the part that wasn't frozen head geese in their families out playing and the contrast of the pines the ice the Sun and the partially melted snow really blew my mind.

Been getting some amazing photos with my new smartphone. That was part of my motivation in getting a smartphone is to advance my photography hobby a little bit.

I can't remember if I told you this but they can't do the biopsy to find out if I have cancer until I arrange transportation. They will not let me take the bus or a taxi cab they want somebody to accompany me both there and back in the event of complications. So I will have to check and see whether or not Medicaid covers transportation for certain things like this. I don't think medicaid covers transportation for the endoscopy and colonoscopy.

You're always thinking about how much pain you're in and how sick you feel. Like I said I just found some Facebook groups for people who are chronically ill and I

out of context

Was flipping channels this morning trying to find something to watch while I eat breakfast. For a split second I found the sports channel PAC 12 football WEekly I heard the following phrase just prior to turning the channel: so my balls were deflated slightly!

Just a tiny little tidbit of my life to make you smile.

still very seriously ill

the only thing that's new is that instead of being 75 or 80 percent homebound I've been 99% homebound in the last 6 weeks.

My my doctor will in my particular case my nurse practitioner said to me the other day will you look fine to me how can you say that your health is declining rapidly?

I'm in utter disbelief this is a sure sign that I am going to have to find another physician. She's been with me for 21 months and does not consider excruciating pain that never goes away to be a problem? That's a problem exclamation! That is a real problem.

I couldn't fall asleep after taking to rest real pills so I took a seroquel as well. The banging quieted down in my building and I slept nearly 16 hours. I know a lot of people that sleep this much all the time but for me it's unprecedented. So I don't mind at all that I've been awake all night it's Sunday morning I've been I never went to sleep that's okay I hope to get out of the house even though the pain is still unreal just absolutely unreal I mean the only break that you get is when your sleeping.

To in my real life I can't find anybody else who lives every single day in excruciating pain their whole body that is. I found the number of people in chronic pain on Facebook but I can't find too many people who are in excruciating pain

I don't know if it's the line where the fiber my algia I also have some other undiagnosed things going on but as I've told you before I'm not willing to go on indefinitely living like this

Pat Travers - Black Betty: http://youtu.be/TWDw3Wu4CC4

Pat Travers Band - Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights): http://youtu.be/U4XbV3gCm2Y

Somewhere in Australia

I pulled this off the internet this is my first attempt well my 3rd attempt at putting a photo on my blog with my new smartphone

People's Choice Awards

category best TV show winner Big Bang Theory!!!!!!!!

obsession dark desires

season premiere about Heather and Arturo. It really is heartbreaking about her getting shot like that. As you already know if you've been following me there is a lot that I can relate to about this story.

I have been shot at many times by the same person. However it doesn't appear that he was shooting to kill it appears that he was shooting to terrify, and yes it worked.

It is a very very big part of the reason why I no longer live in the Maryland Department.

I sure AM grateful that Arturo will be in prison for life and I'm really happy that heather is a foster mom now

Top favorite Halloween photo

Moses in mountain town, Halloween

Favorite Halloween photo

This is my second favorite photo that I took on Halloween night.

Coffee connoisseur

I love coffee

Beautiful Arizona sky

Dirty snow

I took this picture yesterday

Something I saw every day

Every time I saw these benches I would think are you kidding me?! Who came up with this slogan?

Baltimore the violence

I can't believe I traded in Australia for this!

A place I saw

I saw the Great Ocean Road but I never actually saw this particular famous site, isn't this is spectacular photo? I pulled this off of Google

Australia

I pulled this photo off of Google since this is a place I live

animal right

t is ...true that my next door neighbors two cats Roaming ab out 24 hours a has been a real pain in the ass yet now that winter is upon me I am growing more and more concerned.

A few months ago I spoke to the head of animal control by email and I asked her are these apartments residents really permitted to let their Cats stay Out 24/7?!

 She responded that DogSot permitted to be out lose but cats are.

At 3 in the morning you can hear these two cats outside crying or being in heat or whatever the heck it is its very very loud.

My front porch get some nice Daily Sun and the cats are beginning to church on the ledge of myront porch! therefore I got some good photos today but am I right or wrong? Is it not cruel to leave these two cats outside when it gets to be 0 degrees at night? Why are we protecting the dogs and not protecting the cats? Well I'm allergic to cats so I'm not going to let my cats inside when its warm out I leave my front porch open door open and they come inside which I shoot them away. Shoo not shoot!

Please leave your comments regarding whether or not you feel it is inhumane for these people to leave their cats outside in this kind of weather. They do keep a bowl of food and water on their front porch and there is also a cat house but that does not give me much comfort, & I would not describe myself as an overt animal lover like most Americans are

today's funny section in the paper

p eanuts cartoon

Lucy 2 Snoopy - if you sit there much longer the snow is going to cover you up

it is snowing hard and Snoopy is getting more and more covered up

Lucy to Snoopy - crazy dog

Snoopy's thought bubble - I'm not crazy I'm just withdrawing from the world

I can really relate to this because in the last couple of months between the sleep deprivation and health issues I have withdrawn more and more from the world. Today is my first day out in 4 days

The last time I was inside for 4 days were very traumatic conditions which I probably posted on my blog somewhere. It was in Hampstead Maryland and we were in a record-breaking snowstorm if I had a proper camera I would have photographed the fact that when you open the front door snow was all the way up to my chest. Maintenance did not come today I'll sell and I had no phone service and no television and no way of communicating with the outside world, except when you have a landline you can call 911. I called 911 and I explained my situation and they told me that I was just simply going to have to wait. I was absolutely terrified because I was running out of food and had no idea of when maintenance was going to clear everything. I'm at the point where I just don't really think I can live in a town that has a winter time. I'm really jealous of Dan he lives in his summer home in Florida for the entire winter every year. As you know I'm in acquaintance with many extremely wealthy people who were born into extreme wealth and never had to worry they in their life

correction to my last post

yes he's definitely a downside to blogging by speaking into a recorder there are definitely more errors. So look at my last post and completely delete the very first sentence that says"so that's really revolting"

The first sentence should say so I'm in my favorite restaurant...

small miracles

so. I, that's really revolting'm in my favorite restaurant and for the first hour the music was nice and low but just as I logged on to my blog; an employeeturned it up really loud.

 It turns out that the the way they do things is as they get more customers they are required to turn the stereo to a higher volume. If only I knew in advance that they were going to do this I would know when I can and cannot come to the restaurant.

So when I asked themanager if he could turn it down and explain the policy :-(

 I can always put earplugs in but I hate putting them damn things in my ears.I wish this Santa Claus would have bought me some Bose noise cancelling headphones! But no such luck

 after taking 4 sleeping pills last night I slept from 4 a.m. To 4 p.m.. I don't have a migraine, nausia, or severe stomach pain like most days.

mentally and emotionally I feel pretty good. But it's amazing the restaurant sounds like a tuberculosis ward, everybody is hacking up a Lungthe  Revoltingto listen to.

if I could afford to buy a house thenI might start sleeping normally, if I could sleep like a normal person it's possible that my entire view of life would change for the better and I would actually enjoy waking up in the morning.

But as far as apartment living is concerned you already know that it's not going to matter how many times I move unless I could afford to live in a place with sound proofing I am never going to sleep like a normal person.I truly do not mind living in small spaces, but an extra room would help so I could have an office and a place for a computer etc.

So for today I feel okay but God knows what tomorrow will bring...