Tuesday, January 19, 2010

"Deciding what to disclose"

I mean, realistically, will what I disclose really affect my ability to get hired? It's probably a remote chance that what I write will affect me in that way. I've been (as of today) essentially out of work for 7 years.

I won't tell you everything, but I'll tell you alot. I have been extremely weak for 6 weeks. It's scary. I walk around my apt wondering when my feet will just collapse under me. Frequently I use walls and furniture to hold me up.

Remember that soap with the warning label? Well, today I finished my antibiotic for a Urinary Tract Infection. and my doctor gave me a lotion for the blisters on my right hand!

Remember the side effects of that one med I wrote about? Saturday night (this was about the 5th time a med nearly killed me) around 1:30 A.M. (i was awake as I am always awake) My ears rang very loudly, my heart started racing, I was breathing shallow, and then, for the first time in my life I began having seizures.

I had this tingling sensation that makes you feel like you're dying. I paged my doctor but didn't get a response. I did not want to call an ambulance. I knew if I fell asleep I might not ever wake up.

Suddenly it was like someone hit me over the head it's like a drugged tired. But I still couldn't fall asleep because I can't breathe thru my nose due to my allergies to my neighbor's cigarettes. So I did not fall asleep.

Next day I paged the doc. again. He was shocked and upset at what I had to go thru. He said, well the Trazadone that you take to supposedly help you sleep we are pulling you off of that. And that med for that problem you don't like to talk about, that might be a culprit I'm pulling you off of that.

Now remember, I have been awake for 3 months. All I can do is go to the "in between" state-I don't fall asleep. So he put me on a different sleep med-first night I slept 10 hours and only got up to pee three times as opposed to 10-50 times in a night.

2nd night I only slept 4 hours, but was ready to get out of bed. Side effect I feel I'm in slow motion. Everything has to be done very slowly...................

eeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyything is very sssssssssssssssslllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

so be patient with me!

No comments: