"life in hell/life is crap"

Just like in September, I ran out of disability funds to house myself about 4 days ago.  Shockingly I was able to get a loan which will at least keep me off the park benches.  But still, most of my days and nights are just survival, like that first essay i wrote in 10/07 that showed up at www.urbanitebaltimore.com

I have been wearing the same pair of pants for a month.  My new friend is storing my few belongings, but I don't travel with more then I can carry on my back, since I am carless. I keep very  clean, and folks have told me for as long as i can remember:

 "well, you sure don't look homeless"

 I do not wear a neon sign on my forehead that flashes "homeless!"

Last night i stayed at a well known chain that got miserable reviews on trip advisor.  I had to climb 24 stairs to get to the 2nd floor where the ONLY non smoking rooms were.  I arrived after dark and struggled with my key.

The door won't prop open, and the switch is not turning on any sort of light.  My only option is to use my completely awesome lightweight flashlight to make my way to the bed.  There are 2 lights above the bed with energy saving light bulbs, yet, neither one works!  Now that saves energy!

I walk with my flashlight to another light near the t.v. but the light mimics candle light, so it is not adequate.


The carpet and bedspreads are in keeping with  my personal taste.    Southwest designs in burgundy green and red.  Unfortunately when I lie down i can feel the mattress springs but it's not terrible.

The room is very clean and that is rare.  The curtain is not long enough to cover the entire window.  The noise is excruciating but that is true nearly everywhere I have ever lived.  Tourists on trip advisor frequently complain about noise.

  There is no complimentary breakfast and the clerk comments incredulously with:

 "what do you need complimentary breakfast for?  There is a restaurant next door!" 

I said, "because i don't have any money"

The next morning after getting the free coffee i ascended the 24 steps and the key wouldn't open the door.  I had to call down to some random person and ask if they would help me.

p.s.  the landline is non functioning and the alarm clock doesn't work.