"Retail Hell/At the Mal Wart" (part 1)

I purchased a Coleman product that was defective, on 2/23/12.  By 3/15/12 the product was out of commission.  I recalled that Coleman includes a flyer in the box indicating that you are not to return the product to Mal Wart.  So I did without for 2 months-because I never got around to the hassle of waiting for Coleman to replace it.

Someone said to me that if they were me, they would just toake it back to Mal-Wart, despite what the manufacturer says.

I can't get thru to Mal Wart by phone, so I go there in person at 11 a.m.  I explained to the stone faced clerk that I'm not going thru Coleman because I'd have to wait a month for a replacement.  I explained what the problem was and how I'd like to do an exchange.  I said, please don't take it personaly if I ask for a manager. 

Oddly, she turned me away, stating that they have a strict "return" policy that can't be bent.  I walk away without saying a word.  She calls me back and says, "do you want to talk to a manager?"  "Yes, I said, i appreciate that.  I told the mgr. that I don't have the receipt but I know the exact date of purchase.

She reluctantly agreed to exchange it.  KNowing what a headache all transactions are, and that if I came back later, likely I'd be asked:

"Who told you that?"

So i made note that the clerk was Melanie and that the manager was Yolanda.

1.5 hours later, after 2 bus rides, I got the old product all ready to turn in.  When I got back to Mal-Wart at 12:30 p.m.  I knew the clerk I had dealt with but couldn't rememeber the name of the mgr.

So, I said "The mgr who was here at 11 am cleared this transaction for me"

A different mgr heard me and stated "I did not clear anything!"

Me-"I never said that you did!"

The clerk who waited on me this time said "Well, I can't do anything without i.d."

(Weird, no one said I needed a photo i.d. when i was here earlier)

I showed her my drivers license.

She replied "I can't take this, it's expired!" (I don't have a car, and nobody in Mountain Town has ever turned away my d.l. for not being a valid form of i.d.)

I said "Yes, but it is me and nobody has ever turned me away before!"

"Well, it isn't going to work!"

I reminded her that nobody told me earlier that I'd need i.d.  I showed her my bus rider's photo i.d. from Maryland.  It does not expire until July.

"That's not valid!"

(I cannot believe this shit)

I said "You can see that it doesn't expire for another 2 months!"

"That doesn't matter" she said.

I said OK go get the manager from earlier today.

I offered the i.d.'s to the mgr from earlier.  She said, wagging her finger in my face, "THESE AREN'T VALID!"

OK HERE'S MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE!  i said.