lieutenant Joe Kenda one of my favorite episodes

www.nvestigationdiscovery.com/homicidehunter  check out kenda first murder case the Susan Irvin g case I particularly love this episode is Kenda describes his first few trying years in the police department as he attempts to prove himself so he can make it into the homicide department

a moment in the life of

so I just observe myself and what's going on in my body while I try to do this one task. Here's what it's like to do this one task when you've got fibromyalgia and nerve damage.

In an effort to sit up in bed I bend my elbows roll over to the left and begin to push myself up the pain in my butt and back and arms is absolutely excruciating when I put my right hand on the bed to continue to push myself up the pain in my hand is excruciating from the nerve pain.

I try to reach for a blanket but I'm horribly horribly weak and lifting my arms to pull for the blanket is excruciating pain in my arms and the blanket weighs 300 pounds or so it feels like

Grasping the blanket with my hands causes horrific burning pain in my hands pulling the blanket over me is nearly impossible because of how weak I am

No this is nothing new these symptoms have been going on for about 15 years or so, most of the time if I need another blanket I am unable to get one I am unable to do those tasks especially in the middle of the night so I'll just lay here and be cold

the cancer questionand Thanksgiving with no family

My  throat is sore and it feels a little different than normal.my lungs feel weird and I have fairly severe chest pain. Since I have already decided that a breast cancer diagnosis would lead me down a palliative care paTh; I am probably going to have to go ahead and have the biopsy.

Of course I won't know all of this until I visit with my my primary care physician .  but my intuition is that I'm not going to be able to get palliative care unless I have the biopsy I also have a little bit of a bloody nose today I think I'm going to need some answers.

Left the house for two hours had a tough time deciding which of the free Thanksgiving things to do.

Ended up deciding to have the meal at a church instead of a bar because I don't like How dark bars 10 to beand I also knew that at the bar they were going to be playing a football game.

So the church today ended up delivering a significant amount of Thanksgiving meals however it was very low key inside the church and although there were steady amount of people coming in it wasn't overwhelming at all or crazy like it would be if I lived in a big city.

The food was cold but good. They gave me two meals to take home and after microwaving it I realize that it was probably the best free Thanksgiving food I had ever had.  mountain town is very tiny and I haven't been outside of it in nearly 4 years that can tend to be a little bit maddening. You know the circumstances under which I moved here were absolutely ridiculous and terrifying isn't it ironic that this has turned out to be such a good fit to my personality this friendly small and very sunny community.

Whenever I know that I'm going to be around lots and lots of Christians the way that I handle myself is that I simply state "I don't practice Christianity I practice a different religion and I prefer not to discuss that today!"

This serves me well when I know that I'm going to be the different one!

quoted lieutenant Joe Kenda

Kenda stated "I'm only interested in why if it leads me to Who"when I lived in Maryland it didn't matter how many crimes I reported the cops always ask the same question and it drove me absolutely crazy! They always ask me why does anyone want to do this to you why did they do that to you. I just got to where the question left me silent and it's stunned me that the cops didn't seem to care about who had done that to me and never even bothered to investigate who.

$12.00? I thought you said seven dollars!

yes I did say seven dollars and then right as I was finishing up want my 1 dollar cheeseburger the lady who was traveling with her family came over to me quietly put $5 in my hand and said Happy Thanksgiving!

no shelter whatsoever

The imbibed man says he doesn't need a sleeping bag or a tent, because

he'll just wrap  himself in plastic!. His alcohol is so important to him I'm quite certain that this is why he will not go to the shelter.

make 7 dollars last for 5 days

so there isn't a lot of food in the house and I haven't had the wherewithal to go to the welfare office nor have I had the wherewithal to find the places that will give you a food box once every two months.

So today I had the challenge of making sure that my $7 last 45 days. Of course that is supposed to say for not four. So I bought two strawberry milk each with a dollar I went to the dollar store and I bought a box of raisins for $1 they didn't have any butter but they had sort of a butter margarine mix which funny I have not done for like maybe 30 years but that'll hold me over so I bought that and then I went to Wendys and I asked the clerk if they have a dollar menu?

She said yes we do I said well I don't see it could you point to it so she points and I said that is not a dollar menu. A man comes up behind her and says we don't have a dollar menu but I was able to find a cheeseburger for a dollar 12.

I was chatting with a family who is traveling for the holidays and who is originally from New Mexico we were complaining about how dirty the restaurant is and I told them that I only come to these places when I have just a dollar that I need to spend.

A man walks in he has a hard hat attached to his backpack tonight is supposed to be 25 degrees Fahrenheit I asked him if he work today and he said no he said he's looking for work. He was three tables away and I could smell the alcohol in his breath oh that's a big surprise cuz he is Native American Indian. Sadly he said that he's homeless and I said are you staying in the shelter he said no he's staying in the woods and I said well why won't you stay in the shelter you can freeze to death with these temperatures. He said no all you have to do is have faith and then you won't freeze to death and I said any human being can freeze to death in these temperatures. He said he was just looking for something to eat and I said well I don't have any money to give you why don't you at least get yourself a cup of water because we are after all at the Wendys and he said because I don't have a container to put the water in. I said will they have free cups here he said I don't need any water.

I said so how long have you been living in a tent he said I never told you I live in the tent! Since I've been living in the South West even though I'm in a very very cold region it's amazing to me there are reams of men homeless men who stay in the woods and don't even own a tent especially when we

unwrapping the enigmatic

if you go to Google and enter my name and then put the word Baltimore I was surprised that the very second thing that pops up is the article about my father's 5 restaurants and bars. This is the 4th time I've read the article every time I read it I see something that I didn't see before it reminded me that the five pizza places mentioned we're all owned by my father. The one on Liberty Road was named Elena's pizza shop but spelled Elana. The article doesn't mention that they probably didn't even know it.

Free as abusive as my father was my adoptive father was I reckon he must have loved me at least when I was a baby or at least like me a little bit :-) to name his pizza place after me. By the time I was about 10 he lost pretty much all the businesses and then we lost our house.

For my new readers I hope you enjoy the article it is listed under the Jewish Museum of Maryland in Baltimore again just google my name and then put the word Baltimore.

The other thing that I want to say is quote you can't believe everything you read on quote. Because there are other links that come up with my name and my middle initial and I have nothing to do with having joined those organizations I've never had anything to do with some of these links

There is another Elena Snyder she's very young she spells her name the same way that I do and I assumed that the link has something to do with me but when I looked at it more closely synchronistic Lea she has set up an 8 track tape so cold listing of the music that she likes however when I try to find the music that she likes I couldn't find it.

Again I'm sorry about the typos I am NOT actually typing I am doing text to talk I'm sorry talk to text I think its called Google talk to text or something like that so they do make a lot of typos.

I was also stunned that the article about the weekend that I spent at the Heathcote intentional community is still up on the web so its been up there now for about 14 years which is a pretty long time.

looking back at December the 10th 2007 / violence in Baltimore

 my letter to the editors of the Baltimore City Paper as well as the Baltimore Sun this is just a fragment of what my day to day life is like:

Here's what I heard on the news today ,a female named Miss Krieger was beatEnand nearly kill on the number 27 bus!

 kids were jumping in front of the seats telling her the seats are reserved.this sure does sound like a hate crime .

I'm thinking Kriegers got to be white but Baltimore will never admit to having an insipid and deeply entrenched problem with black on white racism

The next day on the news they stated that the beating is being investigated as a possible hate crime and I felt some relief. Dixon and Wiedenfelds comments to the public that the buses and public transit iare perfectlysafe is a blatant lie!  I would bet a great deal of money that neither one of them use public transit!

I've been writing about my terrifying, ongoing experiences at transit stops and on Baltimore strains and buses for 12 years. The Mass Transit Administration system has always been terrifying for me largelybecause I am a minority white female. And for the record so many college students complained about feeling unsafe with Baltimore public transit that something called the college town shuttle needed to be created .

it is a private system of buses and vans that now take only college students around Baltimore and between colleges.

I repeat the MTA is particularly dangerous for minority whites!

If you have the financial means you better drive your car sincerely Elena SNyder

treated like a liar is that the Maryland Way?

this is about the Donnas in any caseher husband Keith Longton was imprisoned for 8 months wrongly for her murder. This is so wrong this is the way I was treated by Maryland police as well when I try to explain the crimes that I was a victim of I was treated as if I were as stupid female liar that didn't deserve s*** I was just treated like a dog and so was Keith Longton.

I don't understand how our criminal justice system is allowed to arrest someone for first degree murder without adequate evidence he claims he didn't do it from day one. In the eight months that he was in prison he lost his home and his cars in his career. Is Maryland going to compensate him for his losses? I seriously doubt it I know I incurred ten to twenty thousand dollars in losses from the crimes that occurred in Maryland and I was never compensated.

Our criminal justice system is despicable and it is so frightening when you realize how innocent people get put away all the time, this is one of the many things that completely disgust me about the society

To see the Dona Zane TTI and Keith Longton case go to Investigation Discovery. Com

do I have cancer?

so I was told that the next step in finding out whether or not I have cancer is to have the biopsy of both breasts however my friend Margie pointed out to me that there are sometimes serious side effects and who having a biopsy. Given how low my quality of life already is and give him that I love my breasts exactly the way they are I have decided that I am going to forgo having two biopsies.

As it is I've been sick for almost 20 years since seriously so with no health aide and no support virtually no support of any kind not even anyone that would go pick up a prescription for me if I was too sick to get it.

That being said about the lack of support why risk getting even sicker with no support? I don't know how many weeks or months it'll be where I will be symptom-free if I do indeed have cancer but you can imagine as someone who is made six suicide attempts already well... I will keep you informed

looking back at 11 / 27 / 07

dear mayor,

I'm hoping there is something you can do to help me I am a single disabled 44 year old woman living in a privately owned section 8 building. I've been living here since June 2005 and have approached many agencies for help with no luck.

The maintenance man had stolen thousands of dollars worth of my belongings in a series of ongoing burglaries they wait for me to leave my apartment and then they come in and steal and vandalize. I want them fired but I'm afraid to press charges due to go to court because that might put my life in danger.

Can you help me get them terminated or can you help me get transferred to a safer section 8 building in Baltimore County sincerely Elena

looking back at November 18th 2007

I had hoped to go over to Towson University public library to blog with the entire university is under terroristic threats and no one is allowed on the campus this is so typical Baltimore!

quoted

I didn't choose my calling my calling chose me by Tim Shriver. Tim is Maria's little brother. I can really identify with this. I have learned so many things by having been on the streets for so long and there's so much education that I want to share with the rest of the world so my calling is about much more than telling the shock of my own story but it's about how much specialized knowledge I have and I won't be happy unless I share all of it. I certainly never would have chosen the life that I've had!

90 day fiance

there is one huge way that I can relate to these girls. I have had about 200 if not more addresses since 1994 nearly every one of them was a blind move I took whatever living situation and whatever shelter that I could afford sometimes I could afford no money at all. In this regard I can fully relate to these girls and the way that they are thrown in the foreign situations and forced to adapt.

homicide hunter lieutenant Joe Kenda

this Yvonne Cisneros case is so hauntingly familiar. From June 2005 until June 2009 I tried to sleep at night but couldn't I had boxes of heavy books propped up against the door. For 4 years I dealt with nearly daily home invasions and stalking in part by the maintenance men. The police didn't care and they refuse to make a report nearly every day if I left the house at all I would return home to vandalism and my belongings being gone. Because the paperwork was stolen to my identity was stolen. Do you know how remarkable it is that the maintenance men at that apartment building as well as other gangsters in the hood did not take my life? It was extremely unlikely that I would have skipped that section 8 place with my life but I did I was luckier than Yvonne and her two babies. I'll bet you're surprised I consider myself lucky in some ways I am.

vandalism to personal property

I'm also beginning to worry a great deal about vandalism to my property that has occurred twice in the last 2 weeks. I have not made up my mind on whether or not it makes any sense to make a police report because in the past when I've asked police for help they not helped me.

death Cafe

  ve  been worrying about the possibility that I might have breast cancer. I've been googling and reading and trying to understand everything that I can so that I can make an informed decision in the event that the biopsy shows that I have cancer/that is if I even choose to have the biopsy.

Today I attended something called Death cafe. Approximately 60 people attended.  We broke up into 3groups; each person wrote a question or topic on a small sheet of paper then dropped it into a hat. This facilitator chooses a piece of paper out of the hat and then we discuss that topic as a group.

 The woman sitting next to me has been a member of the hemlock society for three decades.   I told her one tiny detail about my life and she said: I would not Bable to tolerate conditions like that.



Www.Deathcafe.Org

my first mammogram

you could say that my first mammogram today was done under dUress. They also did a oh gosh I guess it's like an ultrasound but its of both of your breasts.

The reason why I was required to go in for a mammogram is because when I was in the ER they found something in the right breast that looks suspicious.

Well today they did the ultrasound type thing with the gel and they're able to see inside of your breasts and the Dr is concerned about both breasts. Now I need to wait for the primary care doctor to set up a biopsy and they make sure that a surgeon is standing by!

I wouldn't say the doctor had the best bedside manner but I wouldn't describe in this rude either. He talked about the surgeon without explaining to me that this does not mean that they're going to be removing your breast it means that they're taking out the tissue that they're concerned about. I'm going to do my best not to worry. Because you know me I don't care whether or not I have a long life I care only about quality of life

I will keep you informed

one day at a time / this week has been better

so the chainsmokers live below me for 14 weeks. When I review my journals for that 14 week. I see how having neighbors like that dominated my life on most or should I say many levels. Nearly every morning I woke up with a migraine. In the evenings it would take about 6 hours for me to get the air in the bedroom clean enough for me to be able to fall asleep. I would tense up when their big dog would start barking.

This week I only woke up with a migraine once I can relax I don't have to worry about tiptoeing around because there's nobody down there right now. Now there's no guarantees about what sort of person is going to move him next but right now I'm on what you could consider to be autumn break!

Because I'm anticipating that it will take about a month for management to find someone new to move in below me, there's a slim chance that the people who move in will be chainsmokers.

When I'm not breathing in cigarette smoke my entire outlook changes and I don't feel nearly as depressed and despondent!

You know what they say in the 12 step groups one day at a time!

all about pain management

so it's been nearly 15 years that I can't even sit for 5 minutes without excruciating tailbone pain. If I go to take a walk I get body wide nerve pain and muscle and joint pain in my hips back at cetera. The medications don't seem to do much so I am going to consider getting injections into my spine 4 times a year. I asked if they would be able to anesthetize me locally and they said yes. The only blockade is that they will not allow me to drive myself or drive back home. I feel very endangered us passenger but there are two or three people that I could ask to help me. I will let you know

best of the Oprah show

as I've told you many times before I've gone most of my life without watching television. I've gone most of my life being extremely busy trying to build a good life for myself and possibly even a career so there was never time for TV. The other thing was that I never had the financial means to pay for cable. Its funny I just watched the movie the other day figured it was new turned out it was 30 years old cold Muppets Take Manhattan. Right now I'd like to tell you that I'm watching an amazing show that reminds me of a career that I could have probably been very successful at and that is to be a therapist. I have done sliding scale therapy for people being upfront about the fact that I only have a bachelor's degree and then being told that they feel that I'm perfectly adequate as a therapist in that they would like to keep seeing me. That being said I am watching the help desk on the own channel. Therapist Harville Hendrix and this show is called finding the love that you want. I'm at home which is why I have not been able to add the youtube link. You may have better luck finding this episode by going to the Oprah network which I'm not sure its either called own or go to Google and enter the Oprah Winfrey Network ok this is called the best of the Oprah show super soul Sunday

our dog obsessed culture

in the building where I live instead of people walking their dogs they all congregate in front of my building see you have a lot of barking and screaming and squealing and all this stuff. I can assure you not every American loves your dog and not every American wants your dog to jump on them lick them etc. When I went to get into my car one of the dog owners his lease was so long does the dog actually went up to my car door this is not ok we do not want your dogs in our car please be courteous! I went to a coat give away in the church earlier today before I know it a dog jumps on me the people in the church assume that I was okay with that but I told them that I wasn't. I can assure you that not every American wants to pet and love your dog. Well the other handif I see any signs of dog or cat abuse in my community I will be the first to report it

restaurant was cold as ice

yes temperature wise it was cold as ice as always however I'm talking about something else. This restaurant cafe is near where I live and it's been open for a year their reasoning for opening this restaurant is to try to convert people to Christianity. However I've never met more than two people in the restaurant that includes workers as well as customers who exuded any sort of friendliness. Nearly everyone I've ever encountered has had a personality that is cold as ice.

No I don't patronize this restaurant I only go in there in an emergency say I have no groceries or something like that. Tonight I went in there to give the restaurant owner a message for my friend who I know hangs out there and I lost his number.

A very cold woman asked me what I do for a living I told her that I'm out on disability but that I'm a social worker and a preschool teacher underwriter that's supposed to say and a writer.

She asked me about homelessness in mountain town. I'm proud to say that I was able to give her a detailed and highly accurate profile of what's going on but when she found out that I like to have been homeless she put her nose up in the air as far as it would go I could tell that her questions were forced and that she couldn't wait to get away from me.

The moment one of her girlfriends entered the restaurant she immediately left me without even excusing herself I left within the next 4 minutes saying goodbye to no one.

The incident reminded me of a documentary that I just watched for the for the second time entitled people like us social class in America. Much of this documentary was filmed in Baltimore and I saw it at a public showing an approximately 2000. I know that the reason why people don't want to discuss this and like to separate themselves is because they don't want to think that it could happen to them or could happen to just about anyone so I try not to take it personally when people are so rude like that.

a long ass list of ailments

I have suspected for some 10 to 15 years that I have hyper Acusis sounds that don't even phase other people are painful to my ears. 4 years I have been looking for an affordable way to purchase Bose noise cancelling headphones but I am unable to find them for under $300. If I had a credit card I could pay it off a little bit of the time. Most of the cars and mountain town or souped up engines and motorcycles and there's a lot of sirens and dog barking. Not to mention the fact that nearly everybody uses a screaming voice just to talk to a person or talk on a cell phone. Today was unbearable there was a woman in the doctor's office waiting room talking on a free phone and screaming into it I asked her please not the screen and the receptionist told me that I had no right to ask the woman not to scream you can imagine how much that pissed me off but there just is no where to run in a noisy society like this one. If you go to Google and put in the word hyperacusis the very first article that popped up with by a young man I think his last name was Emilio and the very first sentence of the article with the description of the way he decided to commit suicide because of his inability to tolerate sounds in his ears apparently the medical community community is only as a very beginning of understanding this disease

Schenley Shack/part 2

Kelly is a chain smoker who ALREADY had 6 beers under his belt.

 He was coming on strong. He said that his friends told him that I won't return.  It was 5:30 or 6 o'clock by the time I return to lower Shenley Road.

 I was famished! Kelly and I talked for 45 minutes and I met his neighbor Pat a lovely woman whose husband just died. I told Kelly that I was starved and had to leave for dinner. He asked me where I'm going for dinner. I told him I'm going home for pbj.

 "You WANT pbj for DINNER?!"

No but that's all I have!   (top this off with the fact that the maint men and unknown other men regularly break in and steal my food dishes silverware and any other possessions they can find)  Kelly said that all he has is peanut butter and bacon and his home because the racoons broke in last night and stole his bread.  He didn't ask me if I wanted to go to dinner but he did tell Pat in front of me that he's taking me to dinner. To which I replied" You ARE?! 

I suggested we walk to the Evergreen neighborhood as it is in walking distance. But he wanted to go to HamPden. In my best Bawlmerese accent, I teased him about being afraid to eat in evergreen where people are rich!

The High Wire

There are plenty of reasons to feels like you would need to be high all the time in Baltimore too!  Noise and danger and mean people all around you, check out this elightening documentary of my "home sweet home"

"A typical day"

With lyme and fm (fibromyalgia) the moment I awaken I have excruciating pain.  I can't open my eyes, they burn so bad I can't open them til sometimes 1 p.m.  Although the doc gave me drops it is almost impossible to put drops in my eyes.

So today I awoke with severe rib and stomach pain and a severe headache with severe bodywide joint and nerve pain.  This is one of the reasons why I can't see any point in dating.

Tonight, was wonderful.  I chose an event from the newspaper called "topics for the new millennium" it was on the slow foods movement.  It wasn't a lecture but a conversation.  A few folks came up to me after wards and said that I'm so educated and well informed and learned a lot from me.

When you're sick you really don't want to leave the bed, but if you can you don't regret it.  Even at this moment I have severe tailbone pain and it's really hard to even sit down.  It's crazy and depressing most of the time.

beauty queen murders/brendaParsh

 Author's note about serial murders, it seems that it is not uncommon at all for serial murderers to choose women who look very similar or very beautiful.  I wonder why that is.  Perhaps for some reason or other these men have gone their whole lives being rejected by beautiful or wealthy women.

Investigation Discovery/Beauty Queen Murders

Brenda decided to try out for the Miss Watermelon Festival pageant in approximately 1968.  Despite having grown up in a small town, she was sophisticated and charismatic; wanted to move to the big city. 

She is very close to her mother Mary and won the Miss Watermelon contest.

In 1974 she graduates college she got her dream job immediately as a fashion buyer she has a boyfriend he wants to be an actorbut did not achieve the success that she did.

In 1977 in the summertime, her dad fell ill so she had no choice but to go back to her small town.  (Her situation reminds me that even if I did have the money to fly back to attend my own father's funeral I knew that if I did it would highly jeopardize my ability to graduate in May 1993 with a bachelors in social work.)

Tragically, Brenda and her mother are immediately ambushed by a killer in the family home.
The killer tied their hands behind their backs and they were shot point blank in the head/ execution style.

Obviously the boyfriend I think his name is Rick was the first suspect.  Police stated that he had an alibi but beings he was with his family the alibi was considered very weak.  Eventually however Rick was cleare

There was a rumor that a cop had been seen in the area about the time of the murders this was heavily investigated and it really looked as if a cop might have been the family's killer.  There were about 5 more murders in the region and they were all done in the similar way, the killer covered his tracks like an expert.   One of the victims was in her mid 60 s. Initially it appeared that the killer was choosing women who look similar to each other

A trucker name Rickets was investigated because he was traveling through the area at the time of the killings and he did have a criminal history but he was ruled out. Remember at this time in history you couldn't do DNA testing all you could do was check the perpetrator's blood type.

November 17th 1977 another female body is found she looks similar to Brenda well actually she was killed in the same way that Brenda and her mother were; the same kind of  gun.  The next victim is  Sheila Cole. Author's note I'm sure I would have been terrified if I were living in Girardot at the time of these killings!

And it must have been horrible to be afraid of the cops, I know what thats like and I know what it's like to have to interact with cops that are terrifying and seem to enjoy belittling you. The word is cops By approximately the fifth killing the  perpetrator cut his hand on the glass when he was breaking through the window;  allowing cops years later to test dna.

Suddenly the killing spree stopped and the cases went cold for 20 years! A new officer reviews the cases.  now a DNA profile  is compiled and they have a match with a perpetrator who has been arrested in Illinois named Timothy KrIjor.

K.  was arrested in Carbondale Illinois for an assault.  they made a link and discovered that he was indeed the one who had killed Brenda and Mary and the others in Missouri.

Author s note these true crime stories make me  think / wonder would it have been better if my life had been cut short at age 30 instead of having to suffer through poverty and homelessness for another two decades. But NO human in their right mind wants to be murdered!

Vicky Abernethy was the friend of Brenda's she has repeat dreams where she was asked to find the killer and not give up. It's too bad that they didn't catch Krijor until he was 63; I wonder what his early life was like and what turned him into a monster.

now thats technologically challenged!

I assumed that the clerk forgot to include the earbuds and the charger and the instruction book in the box. But after two weeks I discovered that the box had two parts and I had to pull it apart because I was unable to do that for the first two weeks I assume that there was nothing else in the box finally on the 15th day I got the rest of the box open and found that the items that I thought that she excludedwere there all along!

love this commercial

Www.tripadvisor.com/pet-friendly Hotel

Halloween in Mountain town

so if you go to downtown Mountain town on Halloween night you'll see many wonderful costumes , especially after 9 p.m.  Unfortunately I was too tired to stay out that late.  mountain town really pops on Halloween night similar to a Baltimore, Maryland neighborhood called Fells Point. 

  I accidentally found the video taping feature while I was taking still nighttime photography.

 This is my new smartphone and I have no idea how to view the photographs or view the video footage that I took!

 I'll have to either go to Best Buy or find someone under the age of 30! to help me.  About 50 percent of the time I really enjoy my smartphone and the other half  I feel like I'm losing my mind.