"Maam, are you planning to dance again?"

What I do like about the outdoor festivals is, whereas normally Baltimoreans are so cold and unfriendly, they tend to be more "open" when at festivals. Especially certain ones. "Hon fest" was my first festival this year. I arrived at 3. I fell "into character" a few blocks before my arrival. Everyone I addressed, I addressed in my best "baltimore hon" working class baltimore accent. And I must say, It's pretty damned authentic.

So around 4, I spoke to a woman next to me who was kind of sort of dressed up for the festival. I said something to the effect of "Hon yooo look terrific" She replied with an equally authentic accent and we kept that up for about 15 minutes. I wish I could add an audio clip for you. I told her that

"Gooo git yur bowling shoes hon, wurr goin' bowling. After we go bowlin' I wanna go downee oshun!" She loved it. She was about my age and playful like me. Turns out she is a massage therapist named Penny.

Later, I saw her and yelled her name into the crowd in Bawlmerese. She couldn't find me at first but was smiling as she heard this ridiculous yell. She came over with her friend, and a wonderful classic rock cover band started playing:

"play that funky music white boy"

I said: "Come awn hun, let' s dance" We were the first ones on the dance floor. Within 10 minutes there were about 75 more people on the "floor." About 1/2 way thru the song, my lungs started burning like they were on fire, and I had to go back and sit down. I told Penny I didn't know what was wrong with me. She said I danced to wild, and my body is responding to the excessive heat.

Moments later an attractive man approached me at my seat and said: "Pardon me maam, but you are an incredible dancer, with better rhythm then anyone out there, and I was wondering:

"Are you planning to dance again?"