Monday, August 13, 2007

MAKING NEW FRIENDSHIPS/PSYCHOLOGY OF

Making new friends in Baltimore is very, very hard. I used to assume that if I made a strong connection with a person that it would turn into a friendship. But that rarely happens.  An article in Psychology Today
 purports a very interesting  theory. The following is a paraphrase of what I read "Repeatedly seeing your acquaintance over and over, whether at your child's school, your job, or the cafe, is what turns acquaintances into friends.

Perhaps this is what I like so much about intentional community (www.ic.org) there are alot of natural friendships/relationships growing because you naturally run into each other over and over again.

Last July I lost use of my Mercury Sable.   I was not speeding and I was on a road whose speed limit is 25. I lost my steering and brakes (one year ago) on a winding hilly road called Lake Avenue. Just months earlier a stranger explained to me what I should do if i ever lose my brakes! The advice saved my life. (He said you shift to neutral then use your emergency brake to stop the car) but I hear there are other ways too.

I lost many choices when I lost that car and one of them was going to my favorite bookstore/cafe. It's typical Baltimore where most of the customers are unfriendly but where I've always made strong connections with the ever changing cafe staff. (People I see repeatedly, as mentioned earlier on making new friends.)

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