"WHAT IT TAKES TO GET A LANDLINE"

I called my Baltimore phone service provider about 2 weeks ago to let them know that I'm moving to Carroll county. "We don't serve Carroll County" they told me. So, I disconnected my phone 10 days ago.

I did an internet search to try to figure out who does offer landlines. But of course I don't have a phone in which to make these calls. One of my neighbors let me use his phone 9 days ago to make inquiries. ATT serves my area, but they need a security deposit since my credit score is low. "I'll just pay you with credit card over the phone"

ATT-"We don't accept credit cards" "We'll mail you an application and you can send the money order with the application"

Will I pass the application I wonder?

"You don't take checks?"

ATT-"No, we don't"

In the meantime the trac phones costs .33 a minute. ATT sent the application but the manager of my bldg. doesn't have a working mailbox key for me. She said that I should make a trip to the post office and ask them to come out and change the lock and give me a key. I did that last Weds. The clerk said "We'll send someone on 6/16 which is a Tuesday" So, I've been in my new place for 10 days and I can't even check my mail. Today, 6/17 I drive to the post office and ask again when they can come to change the lock.

Agnes (the clerk) "I don't know because the postmaster was off yesterday and is off today and I don't know what time the mail carrier will come to your apt. complex."

E-"I'd like to speak to a manager"

Agnes: "The manager is off today would you like me to get Sam to help you?"

E-THEN GET SOMEONE WHO RESEMBLES A SUPERVISOR WILL YOU PLEASE?!

About 7 minutes later a supe. emerges. I tell him my problem. He offers to come today. He says he'll HANG THE NEW KEY ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY DOORKNOB IF THAT'S O.K.?!

(I think it's kind of cool that crime is so low that they wouldn't even think twice about hanging my key in a public place like that!) Instead, I said "I'll make sure to be there"

So, he comes out, I get the application. I begin my god awful search for a money order. I don't carry cash since Baltimore is so dangerous and I'm not accustomed to carrying cash. So, I go to the liquor store.

E-"Do you sell money orders?"

No we don't the liquorman said.

You can go to (oh i like this italic thing) the grocery store though.

I go to the grocery store for my money order. I pay for it with my credit/debit card.

clerk-"Oh no, we don't accept debit credit cards for money orders, cash only"

So, I need a 50 dollar money order and I'm sure that won't be free. My change is in the car I have none in my pocket.

Where is there an atm I ask?

"Over there" the clerk says.

I go to the atm and the machine says that it "can't find the routing # for my bank"

There is a bank in the grocery store, I tell them I need 55 dollars. They can't do it since they aren't my bank. They suggest I make a purchase and get the cash that way. But can one get more than 50 in cash back? I'd need 50.69.

I go thru the line I buy water and candy. I tell the girl I need 55. "We can only do 50 at a time"

E-"What do you recommend I do then?"

"Buy the candy and the water get 50 back, then buy gum and get 10 back.

Well, the cash back thing doesn't take and it says it's going to give me 500 instead of 50! Of course I hit cancel. She said "too late, i can't help you now, because I can't reverse the transaction"

Well, I'm not leaving the store without my money order I declared. "You can go over to customer service maybe they can help you"

E-"Why don't you send customer service here?"

He comes over and says he can't help me either and i tell him I'm not taking no for an answer. This whole thing must have taken 40 minutes. He finally sells me the money order and I ask him where my signaturee goes. He says that you don't sign it at all. I tell him "that can't be right" He goes and asks 2 others employees and they don't know where I'm supposed to put my signature.

I go over to the grocery store bank and I ask 3 tellers. They don't know either. I said "You're a teller, and you don't know how a money order works?" they take it over to their supervisor and she agrees with me, I'm definitely supposed to sign it...........................................

So, this is pretty much how every day goes. I spend entire days fighting these kinds of battles, yet, I'd still have to say that quality of life is reams higher here than in bodymore, murderland.

(I didn't make that saying up but I like it!)