"Looking back at 5/6/1996"

Author's note


I'm staying in a flat in Hampden, Maryland a white, blue collar Baltimore city neighborhood.  I have had the flat for nearly 2 month and I'm struggling to pay the rent and utilities.  At this time I do not own a car. I lived in fear for the nearly 15 years I lived in Baltimore after my relationship broke up in 94.

5/6/1996

Sitting in the Charm City Diner Rotunda Mall.

Totally mentally fatigued after today.  The actual interviews were o.k. but the urban experience is hell.

I left the house at 8:25 a.m.  I called the MTA for instructions on how to maneuver the busses for today's trip.  They told me to take the route 22 to route 19.  I walked to the Rotunda to catch the 22.  A Jehovah's Witness offers me "something to read"  I told her that I don't need anything to read.  Nonetheless she began to babble incessantly.  A very large 14 ear old boy enters the scene.  He has a very dirty mouth which I'm sure "Ms. Jehovah" loves!  He talks about beating people up who say offensive stuff to him.

Says his dad told him: "If you fight, you'll prove you're a real man!"

A good looking guy mid 30's enters the scene.  He and the Jehovah appear to be in concordance.  They agreed "A real man would walk away!"  I agreed but didn't voice it out loud.

I told the boy that I need to get to "Harford and Alameda"

He said: "You wait for the bus at that corner and you're gonna get a few holes in your head!"

Great! Fantastic!  Just what I need! I think to myself.

  He offered to escort me to a better intersection.  I accepted.  He went on to say that he sells crack, drinks and works on the weekends making $450 in one weekend!  He seems to really like me.

My interview was at 9:30 a.m. at the Children's Guild but the entire one way trip took me one hour and 40 minutes so I didn't arrive until 10:10 a.m.!  (It's maybe a 20 minutes car ride)  One of the bus stops where I was waiting had a sheet of plastic missing from it.

My escort told me that is because someone was thrown threw the old glass/plastic just a couple of days ago!

At the children's guild the children displayed a lot of serious behavioral problems.  Children screaming and teachers using physical restraints.  One employee who I know from a past job, was very rough with one of the boys.  Most teachers however were real good.  The physical environs of the school were so positive.

Ms. H. said that she would get back to me by Friday and that as long as my references come through o.k. that I would be hired. 

I also got the info. from the Vista program they are trying to place me.  The vista jobs that I found most appealing were in New Mexico however and they all require a car.

When I got out of the interview I waited one hour for a cab!

I took the cab to the food stamp office which cost me $9.60 in cab fare.  Mr. L. told me I'll have to come back tomorrow!  The dss/welfare office is horrible.  Between them checking me for weapons and overt parental abuse, I'm totally emotionally drained.

I do not have the rent in it's entirety yet and the landlord wants to see me face to face before I go back to welfare.