"Pushing myself"

I am constantly trying to push myself to disclose more to you.  My readers would never be bored for one moment if I disclosed more!

For example after nearly a 3 years search I have found a therapist who takes my insurance.  The reason why this is so important is because when "you" are a violent crime survivor it's like your secret and you can never talk about it to regular people that meet.  But because I can't disclose the details of the violent crimes on the blog it's important I voice it to somebody.

I am comfortable putting it in the potential, hopeful book, but i'd be most comfortable disclosing details in a book only if at least one of the perps is in prison.  It appears that's going to be a long ways off.

Another thing that would keep you interested (by no means is this full disclosure) is for you to know that I've made multiple suicide attempts between 2010 and 2012. 

If I were pursuing a mainstream career I would not have this information on my blog but I'll never have the sort of career that would be ruined by that information being put on my blog.

Because I am a natural researcher I refused to make an attempt on my life without being "heavily armed and educated"

I read "final exit" by Derek Humphries.  And I have even emailed in the past with Phillip Nitsche.

These 2 men are reknowned in the right to die movement .

My understanding is that Final Exit used to be called the Hemlock Society.

So, there you go, there it is.  This doesn't embarrass me.  I don't know anyone, certainly none of my friends could have survived even a month in my shoes without wanting out.